I must confess...

[MeghansMommy]

Should you have done it? Probably not. Will I judge you for it? No way. As parents, we face difficult situations and sometimes we do thing for our kids that may seem like it is in their best interest even when it isn't really the right thing to do. What can we do? We love them and we are human. Don't beat yourself up over it!

I agree. We all goof up sometimes. I'd file this in the "no big deal" drawer and let it go. You know you'll be more prepared next time.

I agree with pretty much what feralpeg said.

At that age, I would have gotten the materials together, woke her up an hour early and helped her complete the project before school. I don't think I would have completed it myself, though, although my dh did once make a "hut" for my oldest who was in tears b/c his hut kept falling apart.

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This is probably what I would have done. In no way would I have done the project complete for her, but again, I really think this is a minor thing and wouldn't lose sleep over it.

I haven't done what you did, but I did have a situation in which I wish I had!
When DS was 8 he had a paper due, that he told us about but it required the parents to answer questions. This assignment was given on a Monday and due the next day. Well, Monday was my birthday and when the kids got home everyone was caught up in celebrating with me and we went out to dinner and got caught up in the moment. By the time we got home, we forgot about this paper. In the morning, DS said something to me and I told him not to worry that I would call the teacher and explain to her what had happened and that I felt partially to blame since he had told me. Her response was that he should have stood up to me when we got home and refused to go to bed until I completed my part of the assignment! She said he would never learn to be responsible if he didn't stand up to me! I took the matter to the principal and she totally backed the teacher. My poor DS got a lunch detention plus a zero! I was ticked.... This was a Catholic school that I pulled him out of shortly after because of crap like this.

It's nine years later and I wish that Nun could see my very responsible, respectful, honor student now!

Oh that's awful!

One big tip for all of you parents of little kids: Buy a large package of poster board (maybe a 10 pack) at the beginning of the school year. It will save you 10 late night trips to Walmart!

I've never done a project totally on my own, but I've helped a lot.

The G/T program use to have the 4th graders make models of famous buildings - the Sears Tower, the Alamo, etc. It was hysterical at open house to see the works of art that the "4th graders" had made. They finally stopped doing that project, thank goodness.

Science fair was always optional and a mom on our block stopped letting her kids do it, because she refused to do the backboard for her kids but all the other moms did the backboard, so her kid's projects always looked terrible compared to the others.

One time in art, DS had to do this large mosiac picture, made of tiny squares cut from magazines. It took three of us the whole evening to finish it.

Personal favorite: DD had to do a word search for 8th grade science. It was taking her forever and she had other homework so we passed it around the family. Among 5 of us, there was still one word that no one could find!

I used to love word searches, but now we get them weekly and they are a PITA. My DD is a straight A student and is, by far, the smartest gal in her class. I used to make her do these word searches, but now she just hands them to her dad and I and we compete to see who gets the most words. Sometimes she helps, sometimes she doesn't.

If she weren't a straight A kid, we wouldn't do that, but when we are doing this, we let her play the Wii or Playstation...

(JUST KIDDING) - we'll do the word search while she's finishing up other homework.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I just had to remind my daughter to take a towel into the shower too!!


As long as you really love your kids and you show them that, I don't think you can go wrong.

 

[islangrl]

For my own kids, I can't come up with anything but some word search help. But I'm sure I'm just forgetting.
I did however, "help" my brother with a project.

I was 22 he was 8 in 3rd grade. Each student was supposed to do a project for the Island Wide Science Fair. About a year earlier, my dad and DB threw 10 bottles with letters into the ocean, just for fun. 8-9 months later, they got their first reply. They received 7 all together. So DB was going to do his project on ocean currents of the Western Pacific.

My dad was really busy and completely forgot about the fair on Saturday.
So Thursday morning, he calls me up, tells me to pick up DB from school and help him do the project.

There was no internet, so we went to the library, but there was sooo much work to be done, that I ended up doing 95% of the work. I briefed DB about all the info, and he was a pretty smart kid, so when the judges came around to ask questions he knew all the answers.

When the awards were handed out, DB received 3 place overall. The fair was for 2nd - 12th grade!!

Now please don't flame me because some kid may have been cheated. This award gave my brother the confidence (more like an ego boost) to want to be the best.
His 11th grade year he won Grand prize at the Island Wide Science Fair and went on to the International Science Fair that was held in Ohio.
He won several awards there, from the Coast Guard, from the Dept. Of the Interior...and I can't remember.

He is getting his Masters in Zoology, Marine Science and Policy.
I got $100.00 for helping!

 

[Took]

We have never done ANY homework or projects for our kids. That is our rule...we want them to LEARN, so we don't short-circuit that process by doing their work for them. They have learned to be responsible and tell us about anything they need help with, or suffer the consequences with a failing grade. This policy takes effect by the time they are in 1st or 2nd grade, depending on the kid. At 5 or 6 sometimes they forget, of course. After that, there really isn't any excuse for a kid without other issues to drop the ball like this. I would have let my daughter take the zero, to teach her a lesson.

I will help DD by driving her to the store and by answering questions or teaching her how to find answers, but I won't do her work for her. I, too, would let her take a zero first. By third grade, she would need to be responsible. If I had found the project sheet in dd's bag, I would have either a) awakened her (if it wasn't too late) and had her complete it, or B) awakened her early and had her complete it. This is all premised on the assignment being age apporpriate and do-able.

I see the products of too many "parental helpers" (not necessarily the occasional help mentioned in this threaad but consistent "enablers)_ and these kids, as college students, STILL don't know how to be responsible for themselves. It's particularly bad in 18-y.o. boys with very "loving' moms.

 

[mamacatnv]

these kids, as college students, STILL don't know how to be responsible for themselves. It's particularly bad in 18-y.o. boys with very "loving' moms.

I know a few of those Mom too........My DS says there is a reason that parents are not allowed past the front desk of his dorm building unless escorted by their student

 

[skuttle]

DS is in Kindergarten and most of his take-home projects are labeled as "family projects".

One of his first projects this year was to decorate a little cut-out of a person. The front had to look like DS and the back a collage of things he liked. I asked DS how he wanted his person dressed and I put the clothes on the person and did the yarn hair. I must admit, it was looking cute. DS wanted to draw the face so I let him. DS draws the eyes, and the did the mouth...razor sharp teeth! I asked DS what did he do and he says "made him a vampire." So there was the cute little person I made, with vampire teeth. LOL!

OP, I don't think I would have done the entire project myself. Like others have said, I would have made DS get up early and helped him with the project.

 

[brockash]

I will help DD by driving her to the store and by answering questions or teaching her how to find answers, but I won't do her work for her. I, too, would let her take a zero first. By third grade, she would need to be responsible. If I had found the project sheet in dd's bag, I would have either a) awakened her (if it wasn't too late) and had her complete it, or B) awakened her early and had her complete it. This is all premised on the assignment being age apporpriate and do-able.

I see the products of too many "parental helpers" (not necessarily the occasional help mentioned in this threaad but consistent "enablers)_ and these kids, as college students, STILL don't know how to be responsible for themselves. It's particularly bad in 18-y.o. boys with very "loving' moms.

I don't think OP's DD is in 3rd grade. She's only 7...I'm guessing 2nd grade, unless I missed something

 

[GJM]

Was this assignment given on a Friday to be done by Monday - If it was, I would have been mad about that.

I also don't think it is a big deal, life happens and things happen. My DS is in 3rd. and the parents are expected to sign the agenda everyday. My DS wouldn't remember about an assignment, especially over the weekend.

I wouldn't blame a 7 year old for not remembering, I am in my 40's and forget stuff!

 

[quasar4legs]

We homeschooled, I only set assignments that my son wanted to do
Have a good friend who runs a graphic arts studio and he often has his staff working on the kids school projects. He estimated each project was costing him BIG $$$$$.
Crazy!!!!


Trish

 

[KyraS]

I've never done his entire project but can remember several times when I've helped him out with them. I'm so glad those days are over. OP I would also file it in the "life happens" folder and not worry one bit about it. My mom did one of my entire science projects when I was in school and it won 1st place, LOL! I went on to college, graduated, got married, had kids and did just fine. Doing one project for your child is NOT going to make them less dependable. Geesh, LOL!

 

[phinsphan]

Ugh I hated those projects ESPECIALLY if they were sent home on Friday and due on Monday. Sometimes they really jacked up our weekends. I was/am a teacher so I understand it sometimes but could you really not give that type of project at the beginning of the week so we could not have to use the whole weekend to finish it???

I now work in Behavior Health in Elementary School and deal with 2nd grade specifically. I feel so badly for the students who's parents just didn't care enough about their education to help them finish their book report or whatever they needed to get done for their grade. The kids wanted to finish it and get a good grade and the parent/s wouldn't or didn't get the materials needed.

I've helped my kids a time or two. I've asked co-workers to help me complete something last minute and don't feel I can hold my kids to a different/higher standard than I am able to achieve.

I ask every night what homework is due and when. There are times when LIFE actually gets in the way and we forget. If that happens we figure out the best way to deal with it and then we accept the consequences.

OP I will not judge you for finishing your childs project nor judge you on your busy weekend. I will just send you a for caring enough about your child to at the very least help and in your situation finish it even though it may not have been the "right" educational thing to do.

My heart breaks everytime one of my 2nd graders freaks out because they had the stuff and their parents wouldn't help them, take them to buy supplies or even get them to school on time to turn their assignment in.

 

[chobie]

Brave, brave OP

Yes, I have. The ones I have stepped in and done myself were mainly art projects (i.e., be it science or English project it was mainly about making something pretty). I made my kids write the reports that go with it, but I have done the art part (actually have my mother help because she is artistic and I'm not so much).

 

[3jsmommy]

I remember being in 5th grade & realizing on a mon. morning that I had a project due. (I was a huge procrastinator) The teacher had given us about a week to do it too.
I am from a very large family & my Mom would have said too bad, your not staying home, & I would have been in trouble on top of that.
Sooo, I turned on the shower & sat in the bathroom & made my project, I used soap, toothpaste & other random stuff I had gathered.
It was a tiny replica of some river system. I knew the teacher said make it a big or small as you want, so I went for small. The teacher thought it was the coolest thing, he showed it to the class & called it original.
I got an A & my BF that had her Dad make all of her elaborate projects in his workshop got an A-!
She was so annoyed when I told her how long it took & that I did it in the bathroom that morning. I was like, at least I did it myself! (I'm still a bit of a McGyver! )
My oldest son is so good about remembering projects & doing them mainly on his own. Now my second, I'm sure we'll be squeezing some in early morning on due day!!
Some kids don't need to be reminded, some do, if you have kids that don't need as much help, be grateful for that!!

 

[Lady V]

I must confess....last night I was getting my DD7's bookbag ready for school and realized she had a science project due this morning!
Since she was already in bed, I sent my husband to the store to get a poster board and I completed the project.
This morning I went over the whole thing with her so she knew about the topic and explained to her that mommy dropped the ball. So...my question is..
Has anyone else done this sort of thing? And if so, what is the most elaborate project you have completed WITHOUT your child so that he/she could get their grade?

Mommy dropped the ball?? sorry...I don't think that really taught her the right lesson.. Sorry if I sound snipy...I didn't mean to...I do agree that schools send so much work that sometimes it seems it is so advanced for the ages it is sent for....But-while I think it is good for a parent to help-I do not really think it is up to the parent to do all the work and then the child hand it in...if you work together on it then fine but to do the whole thing for her and then say that 'mommy dropped the ball'? It just sounds really off to me...JMHO

 

[stashbin]

Mommy dropped the ball?? sorry...I don't think that really taught her the right lesson.. Sorry if I sound snipy...I didn't mean to...I do agree that schools send so much work that sometimes it seems it is so advanced for the ages it is sent for....But-while I think it is good for a parent to help-I do not really think it is up to the parent to do all the work and then the child hand it in...if you work together on it then fine but to do the whole thing for her and then say that 'mommy dropped the ball'? It just sounds really off to me...JMHO

Thanks for your opinion on my parenting skills. I don't believe I asked for opinions on my parenting skills. I asked if anyone had ever completed a project for their kid and if so, how elaborate. If you have never or would never do such a thing then kindly move on to another thread.

 

[robinb]

Oh heck, I would have just written a note that my DD didn't get it done and give the teacher a time frame on when it would be done. If my DD got a 0 on it, oh well. It's only 2nd grade after all! Oh, and I wouldn't wake her up early to do it either. She gets up at 6:45 am already.

 

[stashbin]

Oh heck, I would have just written a note that my DD didn't get it done and give the teacher a time frame on when it would be done. If my DD got a 0 on it, oh well. It's only 2nd grade after all! Oh, and I wouldn't wake her up early to do it either. She gets up at 6:45 am already.

I know this is off topic but I had to comment on your Tink picture!!! I am so jealous!!! We have 229 days until we can go. The pic is beautiful!

 

[Stacerita]

Fortunately, I have never had to do a project for DD. She has always been responsible for getting them done herself. I don't even remember helping her with any of them other than buying the supplies, with her telling me what she needed. That was just how I raised her.

Also, I dont' think I ever got her back pack/book bag ready for her the night before either. That was also her responsibility.

If I found out she didn't get the project done and went to bed, then she would have just taken whatever grade from the teacher, or she would have to explain why it wasn't done herself.

Besides, teachers know when the parents do the project for the child, when the child gets help, and when they do it on their own.

Granted when the child is younger its not that big of a deal. But when should you consider it a big deal? When would it be cheating?

 

[robinb]

I know this is off topic but I had to comment on your Tink picture!!! I am so jealous!!! We have 229 days until we can go. The pic is beautiful!

Thank you . Actually, the blue one is Silvermist who is the water fairy and the orange/brown one is Fawn who is the animal fairy. That picture was taken in Disneyland in October . Hopefully the fairy craze will die down by the time you make it to WDW and the lines won't be so long. We were at the DL Pixie Hollow tha 2nd day it was open and got it line during Early Entry and still had to wait an hour!

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Thank you . Actually, the blue one is Silvermist who is the water fairy and the orange/brown one is Fawn who is the animal fairy. That picture was taken in Disneyland in October . Hopefully the fairy craze will die down by the time you make it to WDW and the lines won't be so long. We were at the DL Pixie Hollow tha 2nd day it was open and got it line during Early Entry and still had to wait an hour!

OT: The line has been much shorter of late! DD and I were there on a soft opening day and waited nearly an hour and a half. We were there a few days ago and waited only 25 minutes!!

Okay back on topic:

OP--
Yes I have helped DD also 7 with projects. Yes I have done one for her. Last month her class was working on a Family Heritage project. DD interviewed me and her Great Aunt. Well on the interview paper, which supplied the questions, DD wrote the answers we had given her. Well, I threw them out, by accident of course. The interview had been quite lenghtly. I went to the teacher told her what I had done and asked for new sheets. Then I had her Aunt & I write out the answers to the questions. The teacher had no problem with it at all. I was not about to make her do it all over.

I see no problem in helping my child. I also do check her backpack and help her get it ready. Her school often sends things home with the students in their backpacks. I would never see them if I relied on dd to remember to give them to me every time. Does this mean I am rasising an irresponsible dd? Not in my opinion. She is 7. I think I will let her be a kid for a little while longer. She already has enough to do with out me forcing her to grow up faster than need be.