I must confess...

[DISUNC]

I must confess....last night I was getting my DD7's bookbag ready for school and realized she had a science project due this morning!
Since she was already in bed, I sent my husband to the store to get a poster board and I completed the project.
This morning I went over the whole thing with her so she knew about the topic and explained to her that mommy dropped the ball. So...my question is..
Has anyone else done this sort of thing? And if so, what is the most elaborate project you have completed WITHOUT your child so that he/she could get their grade?

Wayyyyyyy too many times. Hey I did more Homework as a Adult than I ever did as a Kid.

I got a B on a Solar System Diarama 2 years ago. I DESERVED an A+!

 

[stashbin]

OT: The line has been much shorter of late! DD and I were there on a soft opening day and waited nearly an hour and a half. We were there a few days ago and waited only 25 minutes!!

Okay back on topic:

OP--
Yes I have helped DD also 7 with projects. Yes I have done one for her. Last month her class was working on a Family Heritage project. DD interviewed me and her Great Aunt. Well on the interview paper, which supplied the questions, DD wrote the answers we had given her. Well, I threw them out, by accident of course. The interview had been quite lenghtly. I went to the teacher told her what I had done and asked for new sheets. Then I had her Aunt & I write out the answers to the questions. The teacher had no problem with it at all. I was not about to make her do it all over.

I see no problem in helping my child. I also do check her backpack and help her get it ready. Her school often sends things home with the students in their backpacks. I would never see them if I relied on dd to remember to give them to me every time. Does this mean I am rasising an irresponsible dd? Not in my opinion. She is 7. I think I will let her be a kid for a little while longer. She already has enough to do with out me forcing her to grow up faster than need be.

ITA

 

[bgirldeb]

Wayyyyyyy too many times. Hey I did more Homework as a Adult than I ever did as a Kid.

I got a B on a Solar System Diarama 2 years ago. I DESERVED an A+!

LOL- I couldn't wait to see DS (8)'s grade on his science project when he got it back since I put so much into it! We worked on it together.
I kept asking him every day whether he got his grade back.

 

[akelly]

I agree with both of you! I have basically "done" a thing or two in my time. I have a daughter with learning disabilites. She has always done the same classwork as the other kids but something that takes them say 20 minutes might take her over an hour. Homwork has and still is not just homework, but classwork she simply wasn't able to finish like the other kids do. In first grade, it was the norm for her to have 2 hours of homework each night. That really adds up. So at times, I had to step in on some pretty stupid projects that had nothing to do with anything they were doing (one time she had to craft an imitation of herself out of a potato) so I would do some to all of those. She didn't have time and I wasn't about to pull her off math, spelling or reading to get some Idaho russett to look like a 7 year old. I got her a B on that project as I recall. It turned out like total crap so no doubt the teacher didn't suspect a thing. And if she did, she got over it and never brought it up to me.

Other times I had to do a major amount of the work on a worthwhile project because we ran out of time or dd just simply couldn't do it herself. Not often, but yes a few times. I think the teachers knew I was doing this and judging by some of the work other kids turned in, their parents were too. Nobody ever got hauled into the superintendant's office. Frankly, this is the oldest trick in the book. I sitll remember 5th grade when some kid brought in a project that looked like something NASA had done.

Life happens. Another thing I keep in mind on threads like these ("would you pull your kids out for a Disney trip, would you let your daughter shave her legs when she's 6, is 5 too old for a stroller at WDW, does my 12 year old need a cell phone) is that when the rightous indignation starts to roll, I bear in mind that those posters do things I would NEVER do with my kids. There's a lot judement calls in parenting and I guarantee you nobody comes up with an overall A+ in that department. So while some of you might never do a school project for your child, no doubt you do some things that the OP and myself and a few other honest folks wouldn't do in that particular situation. It all evens out. We all love our kids and raise them the best we can. And for the most part they survive. And I bet next time the OP's dd has a project, the OP and her little girl will be nice and organized to not repeat yesterday's tragedy. Lesson learned, sounds good to me![/QUOTE]

Very good points!

I just don't understand some of the views regarding school and school work. There have been many threads lately about visiting schools, bringing lost items to school, helping a child get involved in an activity. These are our children. We are the ultimate teachers in their lives. I just posted on another thread in response to a lady who commented that another lady should stop "meddling" in her daughter's life. The daughter is 7.

I just don't get it. I love my 13DD's school. I am welcome whenever. I could enter to bring her her gym shoes that she forgot, I can stop in for lunch anyday. But the very best part is that the teachers recognize and state more than once at the beginning of the year and throughout that the parents are responsible for the education - that the teachers are there as a help for the parents. I know this school would not be for everyone but I just love it.

My 13DD has a learning disability, too. She has dyslexia and I often curl up with her on the sofa and read her assignments with her. It's such a struggle for her to read that her comprehension can be affected so hearing it read leads to better understanding. I was advised to do this by a leading learning disabilities specialist in our state. Is that a crutch for her? I know many would say that it is, but I really don't care. I do what's best for my child. I'm anticipating that someone will comment that do I expect to read her college texts with her, too? No, I don't. She has come a very long way in the last year and she will continue to progress over the next 5. There are different ways of doing things for different families.

BTW, I do help her pack her lunch. I do get her clothes ready for her - imagine that (it's a uniform, so no picking items anyway). I do help her with homework when she needs it. And, you know what? She is a super responsible young lady. I enjoy this time with her and we like spending time with each other. That's an added bonus to helping her.

Ok...off my soapbox now.

 

[stashbin]

I agree with both of you! I have basically "done" a thing or two in my time. I have a daughter with learning disabilites. She has always done the same classwork as the other kids but something that takes them say 20 minutes might take her over an hour. Homwork has and still is not just homework, but classwork she simply wasn't able to finish like the other kids do. In first grade, it was the norm for her to have 2 hours of homework each night. That really adds up. So at times, I had to step in on some pretty stupid projects that had nothing to do with anything they were doing (one time she had to craft an imitation of herself out of a potato) so I would do some to all of those. She didn't have time and I wasn't about to pull her off math, spelling or reading to get some Idaho russett to look like a 7 year old. I got her a B on that project as I recall. It turned out like total crap so no doubt the teacher didn't suspect a thing. And if she did, she got over it and never brought it up to me.

Other times I had to do a major amount of the work on a worthwhile project because we ran out of time or dd just simply couldn't do it herself. Not often, but yes a few times. I think the teachers knew I was doing this and judging by some of the work other kids turned in, their parents were too. Nobody ever got hauled into the superintendant's office. Frankly, this is the oldest trick in the book. I sitll remember 5th grade when some kid brought in a project that looked like something NASA had done.

Life happens. Another thing I keep in mind on threads like these ("would you pull your kids out for a Disney trip, would you let your daughter shave her legs when she's 6, is 5 too old for a stroller at WDW, does my 12 year old need a cell phone) is that when the rightous indignation starts to roll, I bear in mind that those posters do things I would NEVER do with my kids. There's a lot judement calls in parenting and I guarantee you nobody comes up with an overall A+ in that department. So while some of you might never do a school project for your child, no doubt you do some things that the OP and myself and a few other honest folks wouldn't do in that particular situation. It all evens out. We all love our kids and raise them the best we can. And for the most part they survive. And I bet next time the OP's dd has a project, the OP and her little girl will be nice and organized to not repeat yesterday's tragedy. Lesson learned, sounds good to me![/QUOTE]

Very good points!

I just don't understand some of the views regarding school and school work. There have been many threads lately about visiting schools, bringing lost items to school, helping a child get involved in an activity. These are our children. We are the ultimate teachers in their lives. I just posted on another thread in response to a lady who commented that another lady should stop "meddling" in her daughter's life. The daughter is 7.

I just don't get it. I love my 13DD's school. I am welcome whenever. I could enter to bring her her gym shoes that she forgot, I can stop in for lunch anyday. But the very best part is that the teachers recognize and state more than once at the beginning of the year and throughout that the parents are responsible for the education - that the teachers are there as a help for the parents. I know this school would not be for everyone but I just love it.

My 13DD has a learning disability, too. She has dyslexia and I often curl up with her on the sofa and read her assignments with her. It's such a struggle for her to read that her comprehension can be affected so hearing it read leads to better understanding. I was advised to do this by a leading learning disabilities specialist in our state. Is that a crutch for her? I know many would say that it is, but I really don't care. I do what's best for my child. I'm anticipating that someone will comment that do I expect to read her college texts with her, too? No, I don't. She has come a very long way in the last year and she will continue to progress over the next 5. There are different ways of doing things for different families.

BTW, I do help her pack her lunch. I do get her clothes ready for her - imagine that (it's a uniform, so no picking items anyway). I do help her with homework when she needs it. And, you know what? She is a super responsible young lady. I enjoy this time with her and we like spending time with each other. That's an added bonus to helping her.

Ok...off my soapbox now.

Well ya know, I have no problem with what you do with your child. I commend you for all of your efforts to aid her in her education. What I think is funny is that I originally started this thread admitting what I did and then asking if anyone else had done the same and if so, how elaborate...hoping I would get funny stories about long nights doing some "off the wall" project. Instead, for the most part I got critiqued on my parenting skills. That to me is frustrating. Read the OP, if it does not apply then move on. Don't judge the OP's parenting skills just because you think differently. Sorry to rant but it gets on my nerves.

 

[MushyMushy]

Well ya know, I have no problem with what you do with your child. I commend you for all of your efforts to aid her in her education. What I think is funny is that I originally started this thread admitting what I did and then asking if anyone else had done the same and if so, how elaborate...hoping I would get funny stories about long nights doing some "off the wall" project. Instead, for the most part I got critiqued on my parenting skills. That to me is frustrating. Read the OP, if it does not apply then move on. Don't judge the OP's parenting skills just because you think differently. Sorry to rant but it gets on my nerves.

I had to look at your join date -- is it accurate? Because I predicted this type of response when I first read your OP, which is why I said you were brave.

Many people on this board are hard on parenting mistakes, because they either don't make them or don't recognize their own mistakes. Hey, I'm totally not perfect and my kids are probably going to be whining to their therapists about me when they're 30. But that's okay. I love them and I try.

 

[stashbin]

I had to look at your join date -- is it accurate? Because I predicted this type of response when I first read your OP, which is why I said you were brave.

Many people on this board are hard on parenting mistakes, because they either don't make them or don't recognize their own mistakes. Hey, I'm totally not perfect and my kids are probably going to be whining to their therapists about me when they're 30. But that's okay. I love them and I try.

Yes my join date is accurate. I guess I still have a lot to learn about the boards.
I do have to say how shocked I am at the amount of parents who read the OP, completely overlook the topic and look at it as a chance to pounce.
Thanks for your post....I am still trying not to take things personally...can you tell?

 

[mhsjax]

Both kids have things they are responsible for - they feed and give the cats water, they have to put their stuff away when they are done with it, they help me with chores around the house. We are slowly giving them more responsibility as they get older.

I just don't think making them pack their own backpacks in the morning is going to be the trigger that causes them to grow up to be a responsible adult.

It isn't. these kids are still so young, they will be fine. I think too much responsibility is put on them too early. I reminded my oldest to do things, and made sure his back pack was packed and all of that kind of stuff. Well guess what, he is now in 6th grade, I remind him of nothing and he makes straight As so far. These kids will learn responsibility a little at a time. I have kids still in elementary school and the teachers seem to expect the parents to help with projects, especially in the early grades.

 

[mjkacmom]

OP, don't feel attacked. I think you are a very caring mother, who felt guilty about forgetting the report, and tried to make things right. I do think you handled it wrong, and didn't do your dd any favors (this is coming from a mom of a ds who forgets everything - he's still in 5th, and I'm already panicked about middle school...). It was your fault, and her fault, so she should've had some consequences. Not only did she not have to do the project at all, but she'll probably get an excellent grade on it. I think it would've been a better idea to have it turned in a day late, have her do the project herself (and help her out if she needs help), and get a lower grade.

Just make sure she knows this was a one time deal!

 

[mhsjax]

Thanks for your opinion on my parenting skills. I don't believe I asked for opinions on my parenting skills. I asked if anyone had ever completed a project for their kid and if so, how elaborate. If you have never or would never do such a thing then kindly move on to another thread.

Your parents skills are just fine, I see a loving and concerned parent, Ok so what you did a project for a kid in 2nd grade.. PEOPLE GET OVER IT. your child will not be scarred for life and is not doomed to fail. I would just say to you and to myself, to try and find a way to get better organized, cause I have cut it way too close on many occasions myself.

 

[stashbin]

OP, don't feel attacked. I think you are a very caring mother, who felt guilty about forgetting the report, and tried to make things right. I do think you handled it wrong, and didn't do your dd any favors (this is coming from a mom of a ds who forgets everything - he's still in 5th, and I'm already panicked about middle school...). It was your fault, and her fault, so she should've had some consequences. Not only did she not have to do the project at all, but she'll probably get an excellent grade on it. I think it would've been a better idea to have it turned in a day late, have her do the project herself (and help her out if she needs help), and get a lower grade.

Just make sure she knows this was a one time deal!

You're right, It was my fault and I was trying to make it right. Sadly this is not the first time I have forgotten a project this year. I have already used the "write the teacher a note" thing and turned something in late before. Out of shear embarrassment I couldn't do that again. I work 2 jobs and the weekend was crazy. No one in my house would have remembered that project after this past weekend....(house full of company and kids). But my thoughts remain that I didn't ask for what people thought about me having done what I did, I asked if anyone else had done the same and if so how elaborate. If you (a general you, not you personally) have never or would never do this, then kindly click off and move on.

 

[robinb]

Many people on this board are hard on parenting mistakes, because they either don't make them or don't recognize their own mistakes.

Yes, the DIS is full of people I call Practically Perfect Parents. Sadly, I cannot join their group!

 

[stashbin]

Yes, the DIS is full of people I call Practically Perfect Parents. Sadly, I cannot join their group!

Me either! Apparently after reading all of this criticism I am a complete mess! Maybe I should place my children in foster care so they can learn some responsibiltiy!

 

[mamacatnv]

OP - I think the majority of those who "pounced" are in denial and I think your response was very appropriate and well said. I don't believe for a second that all these posters parent as strictly as they claim. They don't know you, your child or what the circumstances were but because they are so perfect they feel they have the right to judge, yeah, welcome to the Dis

I'd much rather be a flexible parent than a perceived perfect one anyday.

I'm pretty strict. I strongly believe in personal responsibility and I do very little catering to my darlings.
I am a big fan of "suck it up and deal with it" when IMO it is appropriate which is generally much more often than the average parents I meet. I also know that of all the parents I have met in the past 19 years, I am in the minority when it comes to catering to my kids. (Guess all these perfect parents were all here on the Dis and not at any of the schools or sporting events my kids have attended )

Sure, they say "I would never do that" they then criticize someone who does and yet we all know that all parents have done things they say they won't.

So, DD has a mandatory science fair project coming up............4th grade, any ideas?

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

OP -

You are not alone! There are many of us willing to help our children well be children!!

I have not stayed up late to help my dd, yet, but I have for my cousin who is in Nursing school. She is an LVN who is going for her RN. She is raising two kids on her own while working and going to school. One of her teachers insisted that she create this elaborate schedule detailing every minute of every day for the entire semester. It had to include everything from studying, working, parenting, sleeping, social time, and so on. My cousin, who does very well in school, desperately needed help. So I helped her. She wrote out her basic schedule and I took it from there. It was a silly project. She needed to be focusing on her nursing skills rather some calendar that tells her it is time to feed the kids. So I did it on the computer for her.

Was I wrong? Not in my opinion. Would I help her again? Naturally.

Don't let people get to you. I have been bashed on the DIs many times for my parenting skills - yet when I went to my dds parent teacher conference I found that my dd is a bright loving child who works and plays well with her peers. She has manged to succeed well academically and socially!

 

[bellebud]

to the OP - I don't think you've gotten one story you were looking for, have you?? I wish I had one to share... funny how these threads get so off topic, huh?

and just to stay off topic for a sec... I do all kinds of things for my kids that people w/ "opinions" don't agree w/ - online and in real life. I definitely fall under the heading of 'involved' parent - too bad that's turned into a bad thing lately.

I hope you don't take the posts about your 'parenting' too personally, but I know it's hard not to (at least for me sometimes). I hope this doesn't turn you off from the Dis... it's really a fun place!

 

[akelly]

Well ya know, I have no problem with what you do with your child. I commend you for all of your efforts to aid her in her education. What I think is funny is that I originally started this thread admitting what I did and then asking if anyone else had done the same and if so, how elaborate...hoping I would get funny stories about long nights doing some "off the wall" project. Instead, for the most part I got critiqued on my parenting skills. That to me is frustrating. Read the OP, if it does not apply then move on. Don't judge the OP's parenting skills just because you think differently. Sorry to rant but it gets on my nerves.

My, I hope that wasn't pointed at me. I was trying to take up for you. I think you did what you thought best and I happen to agree with you doing the project. I might have gathered the materials and gotten her up a little early to help finish but you know the situation best.

BTW, I have "helped" my daughter do a homework assignment this year. No big deal really - no funny story to it. She was just beyond tired and was starting to lose it big time. I "helped" her do a short little thing - it was a couple paragraphs on a certain topic. (Now, that I'm writing this I'm realizing an ironic connection. It was a short passage on a Biblical topic. Maybe there is a funny part afterall.)

 

[stashbin]

My, I hope that wasn't pointed at me. I was trying to take up for you. I think you did what you thought best and I happen to agree with you doing the project. I might have gathered the materials and gotten her up a little early to help finish but you know the situation best.

BTW, I have "helped" my daughter do a homework assignment this year. No big deal really - no funny story to it. She was just beyond tired and was starting to lose it big time. I "helped" her do a short little thing - it was a couple paragraphs on a certain topic. (Now, that I'm writing this I'm realizing an ironic connection. It was a short passage on a Biblical topic. Maybe there is a funny part afterall.)

No...not at you directly...just ranting. I think I have let some posters get my panties in a wad over nothing. I honestly just wanted to hear some funny stories about projects. Instead I have been lectured to death about how wrong it was for me to do it for her, she's 7 she should take a zero, I should have awakened her early to do it, I am not teaching her anything, blah blah blah. Know what I mean?

 

[Disneygirl26]

I just had to remind my daughter to take a towel into the shower too!!


As long as you really love your kids and you show them that, I don't think you can go wrong.

Thats good I have to remind DS10 to take a shower

 

[pweyl36]

No, I saw it the day it came home....it was all me.

How old is your dd? Why is it your fault? Your dd should of know she had a project due. Where is her blame?