I must confess...

[ThreeMusketeers]

I normally do the majority of the work for my kid's "projects". I talked to my 2nd grader's teacher about it and she said it's to be expected at that age.

I also guess I'm a bad mom because I sit with my kids while they are doing their homework, help guide them to find the right answer when they are stuck, and pack their backpacks for them in the morning. Every single one of my friends does things this way, too.

I too sit with my daughter when she does her homework. Although, I don't guide her to the right awnser. I sit with her and help her if she has any questions.
I don't pack her backpack in the morning. But I do pack her lunch.
Isn't doing these things on your own as a kid a gateway into doing much larger things on your own as an older kid?
Or are they just going to wake up one morning and all of the sudden be expected to do xyz because well..they are old enough now???

Small steps...

 

[stashbin]

I get what you were doin' girlfriend, but nope you shouldn't have done it.

Mommy was not to blame! Kiddo was. She is 7. Old enough to make sure she gets her stuff done on time. If she dosen't. That is a lesson she is going to have to learn.
Mommy didn't know about the project, how was she supposed to take her to the store?

I would have just let her show up with no project. She is old enough to remember to show you her paperwork. ON HER OWN. And old enough to accept the responsibility if she show's up w/o it.

how's she ever going to learn if your doing it for her?? (And i'm not talking about learning about the project, I'm talking about learning about the BIGGER PICTURE here)

I did know about it....well in advance. I just forgot about it. And my DD7 still needs reminding about getting her towel before she gets into the shower....reminding mommy about a project is not going to happen with her just yet. (But we are working on that )

 

[ReneeA]

I too sit with my daughter when she does her homework. Although, I don't guide her to the right awnser. I sit with her and help her if she has any questions.
I don't pack her backpack in the morning. But I do pack her lunch.
Isn't doing these things on your own as a kid a gateway into doing much larger things on your own as an older kid?
Or are they just going to wake up one morning and all of the sudden be expected to do xyz because well..they are old enough now???

Small steps...

Both kids have things they are responsible for - they feed and give the cats water, they have to put their stuff away when they are done with it, they help me with chores around the house. We are slowly giving them more responsibility as they get older.

I just don't think making them pack their own backpacks in the morning is going to be the trigger that causes them to grow up to be a responsible adult.

 

[brockash]

I too sit with my daughter when she does her homework. Although, I don't guide her to the right awnser. I sit with her and help her if she has any questions.
I don't pack her backpack in the morning. But I do pack her lunch.
Isn't doing these things on your own as a kid a gateway into doing much larger things on your own as an older kid?
Or are they just going to wake up one morning and all of the sudden be expected to do xyz because well..they are old enough now???

Small steps...

I have a first grader, and I always sit with him while he's doing his homework, and while I don't tell him any of the answers, when he is done, if he has any that are wrong I have him re-check it. I can't think of a time that he hasn't gotten the right answer after he re-checks it, but if there's ever a time that he still doesn't I would keep explaining until he got the right answer. I wouldn't send him to school with wrong answers. I guess I feel at that age- that's what I'm there for. In the begining of the school year his teacher sent home a letter explaining that she fully expects the parents to be doing the homework with the students, so I guess if I were the teacher and the child came to school with wrong answers I would think the parent wasn't there with them... I guess I don't get what them getting the wrong answer does for them, besides tell them they're wrong. -I think it's my job as their parent (especially at that age) to make sure they get it, and explain/teach until they do. I'm also a mom that checks his backpack/folder every night, and again the teacher expects that from the parents. I don't physically put his folder ect. back in his backpack each night, but I absolutely tell him/remind him, and if I didn't, I'm sure there'd be mornings that he wasn't ready, but again I don't expect my 6 year old to be responsable enough to remember to pack his backpack on his own ect.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Should you have done it? Probably not. Will I judge you for it? No way. As parents, we face difficult situations and sometimes we do thing for our kids that may seem like it is in their best interest even when it isn't really the right thing to do. What can we do? We love them and we are human. Don't beat yourself up over it!

Yes, I have and I still have managed to raise three pretty good kids.

One has his master's Degree, one is a High School Teacher, and DD is a high school junior and ranked third in her class.

Sometimes life gets busy and I forget things. I refuse to hold my child to a higher standard than I do myself and expect them to never forget anything. Besides, she did tell you.



Penny

I agree with both of you! I have basically "done" a thing or two in my time. I have a daughter with learning disabilites. She has always done the same classwork as the other kids but something that takes them say 20 minutes might take her over an hour. Homwork has and still is not just homework, but classwork she simply wasn't able to finish like the other kids do. In first grade, it was the norm for her to have 2 hours of homework each night. That really adds up. So at times, I had to step in on some pretty stupid projects that had nothing to do with anything they were doing (one time she had to craft an imitation of herself out of a potato) so I would do some to all of those. She didn't have time and I wasn't about to pull her off math, spelling or reading to get some Idaho russett to look like a 7 year old. I got her a B on that project as I recall. It turned out like total crap so no doubt the teacher didn't suspect a thing. And if she did, she got over it and never brought it up to me.

Other times I had to do a major amount of the work on a worthwhile project because we ran out of time or dd just simply couldn't do it herself. Not often, but yes a few times. I think the teachers knew I was doing this and judging by some of the work other kids turned in, their parents were too. Nobody ever got hauled into the superintendant's office. Frankly, this is the oldest trick in the book. I sitll remember 5th grade when some kid brought in a project that looked like something NASA had done.

Life happens. Another thing I keep in mind on threads like these ("would you pull your kids out for a Disney trip, would you let your daughter shave her legs when she's 6, is 5 too old for a stroller at WDW, does my 12 year old need a cell phone) is that when the rightous indignation starts to roll, I bear in mind that those posters do things I would NEVER do with my kids. There's a lot judement calls in parenting and I guarantee you nobody comes up with an overall A+ in that department. So while some of you might never do a school project for your child, no doubt you do some things that the OP and myself and a few other honest folks wouldn't do in that particular situation. It all evens out. We all love our kids and raise them the best we can. And for the most part they survive. And I bet next time the OP's dd has a project, the OP and her little girl will be nice and organized to not repeat yesterday's tragedy. Lesson learned, sounds good to me!

 

[Handbag Lady]

Most of your kids here are so lucky and I wish they know that.

Not only did my sister and I HAVE to know when our projects were due (starting in K), we had to do them ourselves with no help. It was up to us to tell mom what the project was and the due date (even if next-day).

We'd have to make a list of items needed, write out the list neatly, then go with mom to the store to buy the items. If we forgot something (say glue) we'd either have to make another list and go back to the store or HOPE we had something workable at home.

I even had to type of my six-grade essay all myself. If I made a mistake typing, my mom made me type the whole page again. (We were not allowed wite-out).

 

[stashbin]

My OP was telling what I did and then asking if others had done the same...and if so what was the most elaborate project done. I know very well what my short-comings are as a parent as does everyone on this discussion. I still pack the back pack because I have a 7 year old that has to be reminded about everything. She is super smart academically (she reads on a fourth grade level in the second grade) but it is the every day life things that she needs help with. She already knew all about manatees (more than I did), but I couldn't see her going down in flames because number 1: I knew about it and didn't remember until it was too late and number 2: I know she has a problem remembering little things, let alone the project. So...with my "poor" parenting skills aside, I would like to hear about some projects done. I need a good laugh.

 

[mamacatnv]

I too sit with my daughter when she does her homework. Although, I don't guide her to the right awnser. I sit with her and help her if she has any questions.
I don't pack her backpack in the morning. But I do pack her lunch.
Isn't doing these things on your own as a kid a gateway into doing much larger things on your own as an older kid?
Or are they just going to wake up one morning and all of the sudden be expected to do xyz because well..they are old enough now???

Small steps...

I don't pack the lunch but I do sort out the backpack. My DD is a pack rat and if I didn't sort and toss she would never part with a single item in that back pack. I also have never sat with the kids while they do their homework. It's their homework, if they have questions they know where to find me.

I think we as parents for the most part do what we feel is best and sometimes when circumstances present themselves we do things that even we feel may not be best but they are appropriate to us at the time.

Having a 19 year old I know that every parent I know has done something that they swore they would never ever do as a parent. Stuff happens.

 

[stashbin]

I agree with both of you! I have basically "done" a thing or two in my time. I have a daughter with learning disabilites. She has always done the same classwork as the other kids but something that takes them say 20 minutes might take her over an hour. Homwork has and still is not just homework, but classwork she simply wasn't able to finish like the other kids do. In first grade, it was the norm for her to have 2 hours of homework each night. That really adds up. So at times, I had to step in on some pretty stupid projects that had nothing to do with anything they were doing (one time she had to craft an imitation of herself out of a potato) so I would do some to all of those. She didn't have time and I wasn't about to pull her off math, spelling or reading to get some Idaho russett to look like a 7 year old. I got her a B on that project as I recall. It turned out like total crap so no doubt the teacher didn't suspect a thing. And if she did, she got over it and never brought it up to me.

Other times I had to do a major amount of the work on a worthwhile project because we ran out of time or dd just simply couldn't do it herself. Not often, but yes a few times. I think the teachers knew I was doing this and judging by some of the work other kids turned in, their parents were too. Nobody ever got hauled into the superintendant's office. Frankly, this is the oldest trick in the book. I sitll remember 5th grade when some kid brought in a project that looked like something NASA had done.

Life happens. Another thing I keep in mind on threads like these ("would you pull your kids out for a Disney trip, would you let your daughter shave her legs when she's 6, is 5 too old for a stroller at WDW, does my 12 year old need a cell phone) is that when the rightous indignation starts to roll, I bear in mind that those posters do things I would NEVER do with my kids. There's a lot judement calls in parenting and I guarantee you nobody comes up with an overall A+ in that department. So while some of you might never do a school project for your child, no doubt you do some things that the OP and myself and a few other honest folks wouldn't do in that particular situation. It all evens out. We all love our kids and raise them the best we can. And for the most part they survive. And I bet next time the OP's dd has a project, the OP and her little girl will be nice and organized to not repeat yesterday's tragedy. Lesson learned, sounds good to me!

Thank you! I feel a little better now. And thanks for answering the question and giving an example....The Idaho Russett

 

[Amy&Dan]

My OP was telling what I did and then asking if others had done the same...and if so what was the most elaborate project done. I know very well what my short-comings are as a parent as does everyone on this discussion. I still pack the back pack because I have a 7 year old that has to be reminded about everything. She is super smart academically (she reads on a fourth grade level in the second grade) but it is the every day life things that she needs help with. She already knew all about manatees (more than I did), but I couldn't see her going down in flames because number 1: I knew about it and didn't remember until it was too late and number 2: I know she has a problem remembering little things, let alone the project. So...with my "poor" parenting skills aside, I would like to hear about some projects done. I need a good laugh.

Okay, besides the potato project (read my earlier post), I once made a sword out of foil for a medieval night project for my son. Same kind a thing as you, I had just forgotten to have him do that, he had done the written part of the project (it was a book report) but hadn't done the visual aid thing to go with it. He got up quite late, came runnig down, sobbing and I was like "oh ****, I forot too". I sent him to bed, got out the cardboard, glitter and foil and made a very impressive sword. Or so I thought. When he got his grade, the teacher gave him a B saying something like "Your report was great, but I am surprised at how sloppy your sword was". And I worked hard on that thing!

My son is now a delightful, disciplined, organized 14 year old. We still laugh about the crappy sword.

 

[missypie]

One big tip for all of you parents of little kids: Buy a large package of poster board (maybe a 10 pack) at the beginning of the school year. It will save you 10 late night trips to Walmart!

I've never done a project totally on my own, but I've helped a lot.

The G/T program use to have the 4th graders make models of famous buildings - the Sears Tower, the Alamo, etc. It was hysterical at open house to see the works of art that the "4th graders" had made. They finally stopped doing that project, thank goodness.

Science fair was always optional and a mom on our block stopped letting her kids do it, because she refused to do the backboard for her kids but all the other moms did the backboard, so her kid's projects always looked terrible compared to the others.

One time in art, DS had to do this large mosiac picture, made of tiny squares cut from magazines. It took three of us the whole evening to finish it.

Personal favorite: DD had to do a word search for 8th grade science. It was taking her forever and she had other homework so we passed it around the family. Among 5 of us, there was still one word that no one could find!

 

[stashbin]

One big tip for all of you parents of little kids: Buy a large package of poster board (maybe a 10 pack) at the beginning of the school year. It will save you 10 late night trips to Walmart!

As bad as I am about waiting until the last minute to "help" her with her projects, you would think I'd have a stash of posters at the house by now.

 

[Amy&Dan]

One big tip for all of you parents of little kids: Buy a large package of poster board (maybe a 10 pack) at the beginning of the school year. It will save you 10 late night trips to Walmart!

Personal favorite: DD had to do a word search for 8th grade science. It was taking her forever and she had other homework so we passed it around the family. Among 5 of us, there was still one word that no one could find!

Oh word searches, I forgot about those. Yeah, I have done a couple of those in my days as bad mama.

 

[mamamary]

Oh word searches, I forgot about those. Yeah, I have done a couple of those in my days as bad mama.

Too funny. Those word searches were the worst. Sometimes I would swear the word wasn't in there.

 

[mamacatnv]

I would like to hear about some projects done. I need a good laugh.

When DS was in 5th or 6th grade we were at a baseball game and he asked if he could go to pizza with his BFF after the game. His BFF (straight A's) to this day and now a College Freshman loves to rat out my DS to us. DS is to this day a class A procrastinator and also a Freshman at the same Univ. as BFF They still tattle on each other

I said to DS "All your homework done?" and the BFF pipes up "So, what did you do for your Egypt report project" I look at DS who is trying to climb under the bench and say "Project? What project?" I of course get the "Oh, I forgot" then I get the "I don't know what to do" I'll give DS a little wiggle room, the kid is not creative, he is very athletic but has no clue what to do with a glue gun.

Okay, so no pizza and DS gets to listen to me rant all the way home. On the drive I ask him "Tell me something interesting in your report" so DS goes on to explain about Pharoah Ramses II (the subject of his report) who built a temple (one of many).
In the early part of the 20th century the flow of the Nile was changed and the temple was in danger of being washed away. Archeologists took the temple apart, moved it and rebuilt it above the flood line.

Aha, My light bulb went on - this was in the early days of the internet and Kinko's copies was open 24 hours. We found a picture of the temple online. We printed it and then DS and DH went into town where Kinko's blew it up as big as we could then we had them laminate it. When DS got home (it was now approaching midnight) he cut the laminated picture into pieces. He decorated a piece of poster board as the mat and along with the pieces of the temple he turned in a "puzzle" We got an A+ and DS got to live another day.........

 

[mamacatnv]

One big tip for all of you parents of little kids: Buy a large package of poster board (maybe a 10 pack) at the beginning of the school year. It will save you 10 late night trips to Walmart!

Great point, I'd like to add save your shoe boxes, they are going to come in handy.

 

[MushyMushy]

Oh yes, I'm with you on the word searches! I should be flogged. Both of my kids (learning disabilities) hated word searches and it took many many hours and tears to finish just one.

Most teachers just did them occasionally, but one year DD got a teacher who gave them for a grade every single week. After a month or so of the tears and difficulties, I finally just started doing them myself. Yes, I know they help with word recognition, but I don't see any other great educational benefit that they have be done so darned often for grades.

Somebody above must have agreed with me. Last spring when I was at a staff meeting for the school district, I was with a group of elementary teachers who were complaining with great bitterness that word searches had been "banned" from the curriculum.

I'm sorry, but inside I was laughing hysterically. Banned!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I am not going to judge on this one at all. I haven't done a project without my kiddo sitting there doing something, but I have given ideas, cut some things out, tied some strings, and given ots of suggestions. During homework I have accidentally given answers, and just about written some when the homework is going into the 3rd hour. And oh yes, the word searches. I have picked out a few of those with DS8 sitting there circling them. I pack my kids lunches or we would never get out the door, they do pack their own backpack after they finish their homework. I also pack my DH's lunch, and he is 54. So maybe his mother made him too many lunches back when he was a child, and this shows what will happen.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

The schools always send home so many papers that sometimes it's hard to remember everything you're supposed to do.

My daughter had such a project last year. Hers was some sort of replica of the Lincoln Memorial. We realized it was due on that morning.

I sent an e-mail to the teacher explaining how we had gotten really busy and asked her if we could send it two days later. She graciously allowed it, and DD and I did the project together. I think it was the right thing to do.

 

[Pig Pen]

I don't remember having to do science projects in 3rd grade! We were doing stuff like sprouting a flower seed in a styrofoam cup.