AmyAnne
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2012
I think she actually just wants the three of us to go on the flight. We weren't prepared to drive, we didn't plan it the right way, and it wouldn't be fair to put my girls in car seats for 40 hours (round trip) over the next 8 days. I think that's really her desire and I love her and want to respect her wishes this time. We'll somehow have a great trip without her
I have some experience with this, although in a somewhat more manageable form -- my husband has a terrible fear of heights, and will opt out of things like riding to the top of the empire state building. Before kids, I was pretty accommodating, meaning that I wouldn't go without him. But once we had kids, I had to figure out what was best for us as a family to do when dad didn't want to do something because of his phobia. I had several conversations with him in advance of situations that I anticipated would cause him to back out, and he was consistent in saying that he wanted the rest of us to go ahead and do whatever it was that he couldn't bring himself to do. This has only impacted us on a few occasions over the years, although it does continue to come up (a few years ago there was one hike he wouldn't go on in Taiwan because it was too high up). The way I have handled it, with DH's support, is to make as little fuss about it as possible with the kids. They know dad has a thing about heights, everyone has their issues and this is one of his. Looking back, it's possible I should I have tried harder to convince him to try to overcome this (apparently cognitive behavior therapies are pretty effective in treating phobias) and I don't know what I would have done if his phobia disrupted an entire vacation rather than just one piece of it. But based on my experience with my DH, I suspect that your wife really does want you and your kids to go even though she can't -- at least the has been my DH's position for the past 28 years.