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SouthFayetteFan

Saving Money on Disney Vacations since 2006
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Not just for you, but for your wife too. I'm sure this is very hard to deal with for everyone. I have no words to offer that would make anything better, Just know that I am thinking of you guys and wishing you all well and hope that an acceptable solution for everyone presents itself. :grouphug:
I just have no idea what to do. Part of me wanted to just pack up at 10pm when I finally gave in that this was official and start driving. But what do I do when I run out of energy at 4am and we have no hotel room. We could leave in the morning but do I really want to spend my day driving to Jacksonville...to wake up and drive 6 more hours then on Sunday. And of course, driving home would be tough too. But I don't want to leave her... Thanks for the kind words. I just cannot figure out what to do right now...and I'm not really in a coherent state of mind either, just sad, emotional, etc...
 

Haley R

With all the strength of a raging fire
Joined
Sep 3, 2017
Wow what a terrible night that has become... As many of you know, my wife has a fear of flying. She'd been managing it well all week but apparently today, this afternoon, when I got home from an enjoyable afternoon at parent's day at my daughter's golf camp, she decided this trip was the last straw. Planes make her ill and she isn't going. She was physically sick laying the bed...

She's said this on each of the last 2 trips and acted this way but ultimately ended up going. Major difference this time...she refused to pack. I packed for her but she has maintained she is not going. I'm so unbelievably sad and torn right now. I would drive but if that was the case I'd have left last night at 4pm... now I sit here at 11pm trying to figure out what to do. Jacksonville is 12 hours which we can do in one day. And we could be in Captiva by 10am Sunday then (and not really miss anything). My wife says I should just go and take the girls...but this incredibly sad to me because I work and churn for family vacations...not 75% of the family vacations.

I don't even know what the point of this comment is... I just skimmed the whole thread from today and sorry I didn't pass out my usual allotment of likes. I don't like much of anything right now. I'm sorry...just not really myself right now...very torn....
I’m really sorry that you and your wife are going through this. I somewhat know what she’s going through since I used to have anxiety going to new places. We flew to Houston 3 years ago and everything was fine until they delayed our flight for snow. Then our flight got cancelled and we had to wait for a new one. I was so anxious that I told Dh I didn’t want to go anymore and I was constantly going to the bathroom because I was so sick. I hope she’s able to overcome it.
 
  • PolyRob

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 8, 2016
    Wow what a terrible night that has become... As many of you know, my wife has a fear of flying. She'd been managing it well all week but apparently today, this afternoon, when I got home from an enjoyable afternoon at parent's day at my daughter's golf camp, she decided this trip was the last straw. Planes make her ill and she isn't going. She was physically sick laying the bed...

    She's said this on each of the last 2 trips and acted this way but ultimately ended up going. Major difference this time...she refused to pack. I packed for her but she has maintained she is not going. I'm so unbelievably sad and torn right now. I would drive but if that was the case I'd have left last night at 4pm... now I sit here at 11pm trying to figure out what to do. Jacksonville is 12 hours which we can do in one day. And we could be in Captiva by 10am Sunday then (and not really miss anything). My wife says I should just go and take the girls...but this incredibly sad to me because I work and churn for family vacations...not 75% of the family vacations.

    I don't even know what the point of this comment is... I just skimmed the whole thread from today and sorry I didn't pass out my usual allotment of likes. I don't like much of anything right now. I'm sorry...just not really myself right now...very torn....
    I am so sorry for you guys! It must be terrible getting on a plane when you feel that way. Maybe things will be different tomorrow based on past history?

    If you do not feel driving is the best alternative, is there another option you can look into? I am really clueless about this (points, providers, lines, etc), but what about a train? Is there any stash of points that will allow you this option?

    Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing. I hope yours works out that way for 100% of your family :grouphug:
     

    SouthFayetteFan

    Saving Money on Disney Vacations since 2006
    Joined
    Sep 6, 2014
    A few thoughts on us driving...
    - I'm not opposed to it BUT I should also mention that my wife won't drive on highways so it is ALL me for about 20 hours of drive time.
    - If you haven't figured me out yet, I'm a night person. I function much better in the 6pm-2am window...so leaving in the morning is so not ideal for me
    - I really wish we'd have thought of this sooner as I could've taken today off, we could've left at 4pm last night, gone 8 hours and broke it up into multiple days. I could've even arranged to see something along the way.

    Ugh - I'm sorry to bring the thread down tonight. I just can't really figure out what I want to do here.

    EDIT: I think the right answer is to just fly without her and make the best of the trip with my girls, my parents and my sister. But that still really saddens me...
     
  • Haley R

    With all the strength of a raging fire
    Joined
    Sep 3, 2017
    A few thoughts on us driving...
    - I'm not opposed to it BUT I should also mention that my wife won't drive on highways so it is ALL me for about 20 hours of drive time.
    - If you haven't figured me out yet, I'm a night person. I function much better in the 6pm-2am window...so leaving in the morning is so not ideal for me
    - I really wish we'd have thought of this sooner as I could've taken today off, we could've left at 4pm last night, gone 8 hours and broke it up into multiple days. I could've even arranged to see something along the way.

    Ugh - I'm sorry to bring the thread down tonight. I just can't really figure out what I want to do here.
    Hey that’s what this thread is for. Honestly as someone who’s gone through something similar if you can convince her to get on the plane, that would be best. I’m not sure how firm she’s being (from what you’ve said it sounds pretty much like a no), but whenever I forced myself to travel even when I was sick I was always really happy after that I forced myself to go. Will she take Benadryl or something that will help make her drowsy?
     

    SouthFayetteFan

    Saving Money on Disney Vacations since 2006
    Joined
    Sep 6, 2014
    Hey that’s what this thread is for. Honestly as someone who’s gone through something similar if you can convince her to get on the plane, that would be best. I’m not sure how firm she’s being (from what you’ve said it sounds pretty much like a no), but whenever I forced myself to travel even when I was sick I was always really happy after that I forced myself to go. Will she take Benadryl or something that will help make her drowsy?
    She actually has a prescription for her flight anxiety but apparently it wasn't working today...
     

    calypso726

    Escaping reality one Disney vacation at a time
    Joined
    Dec 11, 2006
    I just have no idea what to do. Part of me wanted to just pack up at 10pm when I finally gave in that this was official and start driving. But what do I do when I run out of energy at 4am and we have no hotel room. We could leave in the morning but do I really want to spend my day driving to Jacksonville...to wake up and drive 6 more hours then on Sunday. And of course, driving home would be tough too. But I don't want to leave her... Thanks for the kind words. I just cannot figure out what to do right now...and I'm not really in a coherent state of mind either, just sad, emotional, etc...
    That place looks very nice and inviting. I've never been to Captiva. It's looking like a nice staycation option though.

    I know when I've had my own freak outs about the ocean (irrational fear of sharks) and what not, PlanePrincess is sympathetic but to a point. He won't try to coerce me to go in but there is no way I can stop him going in either. I have come to a near panic if says he is going into the ocean. The anxiety shoots through the roof. Sometimes, I manage to face the fear and go in briefly. Sometimes not. I think if the tables were turned, I'd react the same way. He and I are alike in that sense. If one of us wants to do something and the other doesn't like it, we're doing it anyhow with or without them. It was like that with dog shows and sports. I like dog shows and don't like sports. He likes sports but not dog shows. I'd take off to dog shows without him and he'd go play sports without me. This happened to work for us just fine. I'm sure you will figure out what is the best option in this situation for your family and the dynamics of moment. But I can see how it could seem quite overwhelming right before the trip.
     
  • Haley R

    With all the strength of a raging fire
    Joined
    Sep 3, 2017
    She actually has a prescription for her flight anxiety but apparently it wasn't working today...
    I’m guessing she can’t mix Benadryl with it. When she wakes up in the morning maybe she could take some? I hated feeling groggy when we traveled but it was better than the anxiety
     

    mfly

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 2, 2015

    wendow

    We create happiness.
    Joined
    Feb 11, 2012
    @SouthFayetteFan I'm really so sorry and my heart hurts for you. No one works harder at making vacations happen through churning than you! I hate that you are going through this and I especially feel so sad for your wife. No one wants to feel like she does :(

    I'm not sure the right answer to should you go without her and fly. I guess I'd rather drive and take her than leave her home. Your girls would surely rather mom be there, even if it means the trip looks a bit different.
     

    gottalovepluto

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 14, 2014
    Wow what a terrible night that has become... As many of you know, my wife has a fear of flying. She'd been managing it well all week but apparently today, this afternoon, when I got home from an enjoyable afternoon at parent's day at my daughter's golf camp, she decided this trip was the last straw. Planes make her ill and she isn't going. She was physically sick laying the bed...

    She's said this on each of the last 2 trips and acted this way but ultimately ended up going. Major difference this time...she refused to pack. I packed for her but she has maintained she is not going. I'm so unbelievably sad and torn right now. I would drive but if that was the case I'd have left last night at 4pm... now I sit here at 11pm trying to figure out what to do. Jacksonville is 12 hours which we can do in one day. And we could be in Captiva by 10am Sunday then (and not really miss anything). My wife says I should just go and take the girls...but this incredibly sad to me because I work and churn for family vacations...not 75% of the family vacations.

    I don't even know what the point of this comment is... I just skimmed the whole thread from today and sorry I didn't pass out my usual allotment of likes. I don't like much of anything right now. I'm sorry...just not really myself right now...very torn....
    :grouphug:
     

    SouthFayetteFan

    Saving Money on Disney Vacations since 2006
    Joined
    Sep 6, 2014
    @SouthFayetteFan I'm really so sorry and my heart hurts for you. No one works harder at making vacations happen through churning than you! I hate that you are going through this and I especially feel so sad for your wife. No one wants to feel like she does :(

    I'm not sure the right answer to should you go without her and fly. I guess I'd rather drive and take her than leave her home. Your girls would surely rather mom be there, even if it means the trip looks a bit different.
    I think she actually just wants the three of us to go on the flight. We weren't prepared to drive, we didn't plan it the right way, and it wouldn't be fair to put my girls in car seats for 40 hours (round trip) over the next 8 days. I think that's really her desire and I love her and want to respect her wishes this time. We'll somehow have a great trip without her :)
     

    wendow

    We create happiness.
    Joined
    Feb 11, 2012
    I think she actually just wants the three of us to go on the flight. We weren't prepared to drive, we didn't plan it the right way, and it wouldn't be fair to put my girls in car seats for 40 hours (round trip) over the next 8 days. I think that's really her desire and I love her and want to respect her wishes this time. We'll somehow have a great trip without her :)
    :hug: Then, if that is what she wants, you go and still make it the best for your girls!
     

    calypso726

    Escaping reality one Disney vacation at a time
    Joined
    Dec 11, 2006
    I think she actually just wants the three of us to go on the flight. We weren't prepared to drive, we didn't plan it the right way, and it wouldn't be fair to put my girls in car seats for 40 hours (round trip) over the next 8 days. I think that's really her desire and I love her and want to respect her wishes this time. We'll somehow have a great trip without her :)
    Sounds like you have your answer on what would be best. I know it isn't what you planned and hopefully the next trip she will be able to face down her fear again. Safe travels :grouphug:
     

    kmc8826

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 7, 2017
    I’d heard this story before, tried to set up this password and a couple Chase reps were like “WTH?...” I gave up. Please inform us if anyone has success doing this.
    In May 2017 we were just getting going churning. DH had the CSR, Disney, just barely was approved for CIP. Somehow (we still don’t know how) someone hacked into the account. Changed our home address to place out of state and made a couple charges in couple hundred range. We only found out because I got a routine address change email and called immediately to question it. Investigation showed that someone had called and knew our address, his social, mother’s maiden name. At any rate ever since then he won’t get approved for any Chase cards automatically (even now couple years later with no outside fraud alert in place). He has to talk to them, give usual information, have call from verified line AND give the pass phrase he set up when it all went down. If you are worried and want to go to the trouble I would contact Chase fraud prevention and tell them you want a passcode phrase on your account. The regular reps won’t do it; it is a fraud prevention measure.
     

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