I Knew There Was A Reason Why I've Always Hated My Birthday - COMPLETE

JULY 4TH PART THREE: "Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!"
After meeting Marie, Dad and I ran over and joined the rest of the family at Les Chefs before the waitstaff could get any more upset with us. They agreed to seat Katie, Wade, and Mom without us, but I was concerned that they would spit in our food or something if we made them wait any longer. Does that actually happen? I’ve never worked in the food service industry, but I've seen it on TV. Because TV never lies, I’m going to assume that it does.

Thankfully, we weren’t forced to suffer the wrath of angry Frenchmen. We did have to sit there for a while before our waiter showed up, but I’ll take that over food that’s been tampered with. That’s not to say I wouldn’t have eaten the tampered with food, because I would have. Really, what’s a little spit from a stranger? I probably pick up worse germs just by breathing in the same air as some of the people who visit WDW. I thought teaching people how to cover their mouth/nose when they cough/sneeze was a mandatory part of kindergarten but clearly it is not. I mean, I was getting hit with sneeze juice like it was coming out of a rogue spray bottle fan thingamabobber.

Anyway, as we all know, dining at any of the World Showcase restaurants is a magical experience because it combines two of life’s greatest pleasures: good food and attractive men. Les Chefs did not disappoint. Our waiter’s name was David. Or was it Daniel? To be honest, I can’t remember. I shortened it to D in my trip notes because I’m lazy and lacked the foresight necessary to realize that I would be writing about our meal almost four months after the fact. Will someone remind me to write actual names down before my next trip? Thanks.

Even though his name was forgettable, D’s looks were not. He was quite good-looking. He took my order last and gave me a hard time for it. I asked for the Gratin de Macaroni and his response was a super flirty “You do know this is a French restaurant, right?” ZING ZING ZING went my heart strings. One by one, D went over the most French items on the menu and tried to talk me into ordering them but I held my ground. Clearly, he didn’t understand the power of persuasion the Food Porn thread has. I’ve had my eye on the mac&cheese for years. Not even an attractive French guy could talk me out of it. LOL. Eventually D gave up and went to get our drinks.

We all ordered from the Prix Fixe 3 Course Menu so we could get appetizers. I apologize in advance for the quality of these pictures. I really need to go to Food Picture School.

Mom and I each got the Salade au Bleu -
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It was romaine lettuce with bacon, walnuts, croutons, and bleu cheese dressing. It was crisp, refreshing, and perfect for a hot summer day.

Everyone else got French Onion Soup –
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They said it was delicious but very hot. You could see the steam coming off of it. I was glad I opted for the salad. Soup is not 90 degree weather food.

For their entrees, Mom and Katie had the Filet de Saumon
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It was broiled salmon with some sort of potato and spinach. They both enjoyed it. I had a bit of Mom’s spinach and it was delicious.

Wade got the Demi Poulet Fermier Roti
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It’s half of an all-natural roasted chicken with vegetables. He enjoyed it.

Dad had the Plat de Cote de Boeuf au Cabarnet avec pates
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Beef short ribs braised in Cabernet with pasta, pearl onions, and mushrooms. He wasn’t a huge fan, but he ate it. Dad’s a traditional meat and potatoes guy. He’s not really into fanciness. He much prefers the Biergarten to any of the other WS restaurants.

Finally, my Gratin de macaroni
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It’s baked macaroni with cream and gruyere cheese. It was delicious. The cheese was really creamy and the pasta was cooked well. I’m glad I didn’t let D talk me out of it.

When it was time for dessert, D called over several other hot French waiters and they all sang “Happy Birthday” to me in French. I’m sure I was as red as a tomato. I also giggled uncontrollably. Basically I was reduced to ‘twelve year old being serenaded by the Biebs’ status. Minus the heart-hands. And the Selena Gomez death threats.

I didn’t take pictures of the rest of the desserts, but here’s mine –
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These are the Profiteroles au chocolat and they are delicious. They’re basically ice cream-filled cream puffs drenched in chocolate sauce and covered in white chocolate shavings.

Overall, dinner at Les Chefs was quite enjoyable. The service was wonderful (aside from the seating issue), the food was good, and the waiters were hot. It doesn’t get much better than that.

After dinner, Katie and Wade headed to Japan to pick up the pick-a-pearl ring she had set earlier. The rest of us stayed in France. We didn’t have a specific goal in mind so we just wandered.

I was glad we had chosen to make an earlier ADR (5:30) because Les Chefs was now PACKED.
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I love that fountain. It smells amazing. Holy Disney Water at its finest.

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I’m sure Disney wouldn’t mind if I turn the upper floor into an apartment. You guys are all welcome to move in with me, of course.

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The little bookshelf is lighting up so I’m going to assume it’s one of the Kim Possible clues. Ignore that and instead focus on the vine design on the glass. I love it. That’s why I took the picture in the first place. I'm always drawn to the details at Epcot.

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I love that this is the sign for a theme park attraction. It’s just so…not.

We looked around the gift shop at the exit to Impressions de France (I love all the Marie merchandise!) and I came extremely close to buying one of the hot pink metal Eiffel towers. I really wanted to check out the bakery, but the line wound all the way back to the fountain, so that didn’t happen. Don’t get me wrong, baked goods are worth standing in line for. I just wasn’t in the mood. Plus, I could hear “Baba O’Riley” coming from the UK and I’m ALWAYS in the mood for some rock and roll, so we headed that way.

UP NEXT: Becoming royalty
 
AHHHH THIS IS THE BEST WEEK EVER!! Two updates!! I'm freakin' out. THANK YOU!! :yay:

MarietheCat24 said:
Anyway, as we all know, dining at any of the World Showcase restaurants is a magical experience because it combines two of life’s greatest pleasures: good food and attractive men.

That statement could not be more accurate. :worship:

I'm glad you stuck to your instincts and didn't let even a french boy persuade you from ordering a different food :rotfl: Attractive boys are VERY important (especially foreign ones.. and cast members..) but disney food is a TINY bit higher on the list ;)

The quality of your pictures is fine!! :) No worries. As long as you have pictures I am happy.
Mmm I had that salmon in april. What I would give for some right now. :love:
That is one hefty slice of beef!! (for the short ribs haha) They must've felt very generous that night. I usually remember the pieces being much smaller.
Mmmmm Mac and Cheese. :cloud9:

YAY for the happy birthday! What a great way to celebrate ;) HELLO!
I'm definitely getting those ice cream puffs next time. They look FANTASTIC!

I need to go smell that fountain. disney water smell is the best smell on this planet. :goodvibes

I'm coming to your house warming party if you make that an apartment!! Or maybe I'll move in. I mean, we could probably get a good view of hot WS cast members ALL THE TIME. You need someone to share those moments with, right?! :lmao:

Great update! Thank you for making my gloomy and rainy day SO Much better. :hug:
 
Nice updates.
I really like your Marie photo. I am hopeing Marie will be out and about and available for photography on my upcoming trip. She looks so cuddly.
I so love Epcot. I always have trouble choosing which park is my favorite, but, Epcot has a very good chance of winning that special #1 position.
I hope you felt better for the rest of your trip. No more panic attacks either!
 
I do love the Gratin de Macaroni from Les Chefs. It's so good. And you're right, what's better than tasty food and cute boys?
 

Oh hey Kara I have been meaning to ask you.... do you have any other good trip reports that you recommend reading? I am almost done with Lia's and I don't know what I'm going to do when I finish it. :rotfl: It's just so good!! I'm going to need some new reading material LOL
 
Kara, these last two updates literally had me laughing out loud!!! :rotfl: I find myself wanting so badly to show certain segments to a friend, but alas!, no one "gets" Disney like we do here... so I refrained.

AHH! So glad, again, that I have fellow Disney-water-lovers... nothing beats that smell!!! :cloud9:

I specifically liked your comment about the hot dog eating contest being classic American - hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! :laughing:

I too adore Marie, so much so that Marie is the "middle" name of my cat (if cats can have middle names). I just need to find a little pink bow to affix on her head to complete the look. :upsidedow
 
It's 9 something in the morning and I'm drooling over those food pictures! :laughing: Les Chefs is on our list to check out the menu and read reviews to decide if it is somewhere we need to try on our honeymoon!
 
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AHHHH THIS IS THE BEST WEEK EVER!! Two updates!! I'm freakin' out. THANK YOU!! :yay:

That statement could not be more accurate. :worship:

I'm glad you stuck to your instincts and didn't let even a french boy persuade you from ordering a different food :rotfl: Attractive boys are VERY important (especially foreign ones.. and cast members..) but disney food is a TINY bit higher on the list ;)

The quality of your pictures is fine!! :) No worries. As long as you have pictures I am happy.
Mmm I had that salmon in april. What I would give for some right now. :love:
That is one hefty slice of beef!! (for the short ribs haha) They must've felt very generous that night. I usually remember the pieces being much smaller.
Mmmmm Mac and Cheese. :cloud9:

YAY for the happy birthday! What a great way to celebrate ;) HELLO!
I'm definitely getting those ice cream puffs next time. They look FANTASTIC!

I need to go smell that fountain. disney water smell is the best smell on this planet. :goodvibes

I'm coming to your house warming party if you make that an apartment!! Or maybe I'll move in. I mean, we could probably get a good view of hot WS cast members ALL THE TIME. You need someone to share those moments with, right?! :lmao:

Great update! Thank you for making my gloomy and rainy day SO Much better. :hug:
No, THANK YOU for reading! :hug:

D really pulled out the big guns (he knelt down next to me to be at eye level and I'm pretty sure his accent got thicker) but I resisted. My food-related willpower is quite strong.

You must get the profiteroles. They are divine. I wish they were available at the bakery too so I could enjoy them even without an ADR. I should send a letter to Disney.

Absolutely :thumbsup2 Creeping on hot World Showcase CMs isn't nearly as fun when you're by yourself. It is an experience that must be shared.

OMG I am so sick of the rain!! Have you guys been getting it too? I seriously feel like it has rained every day this fall. It's depressing. Plus, knowing that snow is right around the corner is not helping. Why did I think that moving two hours south for school was far enough? I need to transfer to a school in Florida. :sad2:
Oh hey Kara I have been meaning to ask you.... do you have any other good trip reports that you recommend reading? I am almost done with Lia's and I don't know what I'm going to do when I finish it. :rotfl: It's just so good!! I'm going to need some new reading material LOL
Oh gosh, I've been so bad at keeping up with TRs lately, but I'll try to put together a list of recommendations.
Nice updates.
I really like your Marie photo. I am hopeing Marie will be out and about and available for photography on my upcoming trip. She looks so cuddly.
I so love Epcot. I always have trouble choosing which park is my favorite, but, Epcot has a very good chance of winning that special #1 position.
I hope you felt better for the rest of your trip. No more panic attacks either!
Thanks! I think Marie has been appearing on a more regular basis lately so she'll probably be out. I hope you get to meet her! She was very cuddly. :goodvibes
I do love the Gratin de Macaroni from Les Chefs. It's so good. And you're right, what's better than tasty food and cute boys?
Nothing. Nothing is better than tasty food, cute boys, and WDW. :upsidedow
Kara, these last two updates literally had me laughing out loud!!! :rotfl: I find myself wanting so badly to show certain segments to a friend, but alas!, no one "gets" Disney like we do here... so I refrained.

AHH! So glad, again, that I have fellow Disney-water-lovers... nothing beats that smell!!! :cloud9:

I specifically liked your comment about the hot dog eating contest being classic American - hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! :laughing:

I too adore Marie, so much so that Marie is the "middle" name of my cat (if cats can have middle names). I just need to find a little pink bow to affix on her head to complete the look. :upsidedow
Why isn't everyone a Disney fan? A Disney-loving world would be a much better place. Actually, scratch that. The parks would be super crowded and ADRs would be even harder to make. I guess keeping my laughter at the many refillable mug threads to myself is worth it...

I hope you find a bow for your kitty! :cutie:
 
It's 9 something in the morning and I'm drooling over those food pictures! :laughing: Les Chefs is on our list to check out the menu and read reviews to decide if it is somewhere we need to try on our honeymoon!
I recommend it. We really enjoyed our meal. Plus, the restaurant is gorgeous.

If I remember correctly, you're a Cardinals fan, right? How awesome was the game last night? It was so exciting! Plus, as an Indians fan, I quite enjoyed watching a team that's not the Indians completely choke. I still have vivid memories (actually they're more like nightmares) of us blowing Game 7 in the '97 World Series, so it's nice to see someone else fail for once. :laughing:

Anyway, I'm definitely rooting for the Cards tonight. :thumbsup2
 
No, THANK YOU for reading! :hug:

D really pulled out the big guns (he knelt down next to me to be at eye level and I'm pretty sure his accent got thicker) but I resisted. My food-related willpower is quite strong.

You must get the profiteroles. They are divine. I wish they were available at the bakery too so I could enjoy them even without an ADR. I should send a letter to Disney.

Absolutely :thumbsup2 Creeping on hot World Showcase CMs isn't nearly as fun when you're by yourself. It is an experience that must be shared.

OMG I am so sick of the rain!! Have you guys been getting it too? I seriously feel like it has rained every day this fall. It's depressing. Plus, knowing that snow is right around the corner is not helping. Why did I think that moving two hours south for school was far enough? I need to transfer to a school in Florida. :sad2:

Oh gosh, I've been so bad at keeping up with TRs lately, but I'll try to put together a list of recommendations.

NO PROBLEM! :goodvibes
Oh boy :cloud9: Hahaha way to go, will power!
LOL such a fancy name. I put them on my list. :thumbsup2 I made a list of everything I want to eat on my Christmas trip.... and it's about 4 and 1/2 pages long. :rotfl: My freshman 15 will not be gained in college... it will be gained on my disney vacation. :lmao:
YES! Like every day/every few days it is RAINING. So ridiculous. It is depressing... I am always in such a tired mood when the weather is like that. I can't even handle this... I REALLY can't imagine the show right now. :sad2: I'm not gonna make it.
And yeah, I ask myself that question every day. :laughing: I wish I could just move to Florida, go to college, and work at Disney. Unfortunately, I'm not brave enough to go by myself. So the day somebody will move there with me... I am GOING! hahaha :laughing:
And that's okay! If any come to mind I would love to read them. But if not, that's fine! :thumbsup2 Just thought I'd ask.
 
NO PROBLEM! :goodvibes
Oh boy :cloud9: Hahaha way to go, will power!
LOL such a fancy name. I put them on my list. :thumbsup2 I made a list of everything I want to eat on my Christmas trip.... and it's about 4 and 1/2 pages long. :rotfl: My freshman 15 will not be gained in college... it will be gained on my disney vacation. :lmao:
YES! Like every day/every few days it is RAINING. So ridiculous. It is depressing... I am always in such a tired mood when the weather is like that. I can't even handle this... I REALLY can't imagine the show right now. :sad2: I'm not gonna make it.
And yeah, I ask myself that question every day. :laughing: I wish I could just move to Florida, go to college, and work at Disney. Unfortunately, I'm not brave enough to go by myself. So the day somebody will move there with me... I am GOING! hahaha :laughing:
And that's okay! If any come to mind I would love to read them. But if not, that's fine! :thumbsup2 Just thought I'd ask.
OH MY GOSH, JESS, ARE YOU ME?

That is exactly how I feel.

I'd love to just pack up and move south, but the thought of doing it alone terrifies me. I mean, I don't mind doing things by myself, but I like knowing that I have people around that I can rely on. Being off on my own 1000 miles from home would cause me to become even more of a mess than I already am. :rotfl:
 
I recommend it. We really enjoyed our meal. Plus, the restaurant is gorgeous.

If I remember correctly, you're a Cardinals fan, right? How awesome was the game last night? It was so exciting! Plus, as an Indians fan, I quite enjoyed watching a team that's not the Indians completely choke. I still have vivid memories (actually they're more like nightmares) of us blowing Game 7 in the '97 World Series, so it's nice to see someone else fail for once. :laughing:

Anyway, I'm definitely rooting for the Cards tonight. :thumbsup2

Very good memory!! It was such an awesome game! I had to wear one of my shirts to work today. :laughing: Thank-you for cheering for us tonight! :hug:
 
WEASLEY IS OUR KING It's not officially licensed HP merch, but I need it. I also saw an "I'd Get Sleazy for Ron Weasley" t-shirt that I must have. It's going on my Christmas list for sure. :rotfl:

I added you! I'm WalnutCat186. :thumbsup2

I can't wait to hear all about it! You must describe every single aspect of the Wizarding World in great detail. I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

OH. MY. GOSH. I want both of those soooooooo bad. That's fantastic. Online shopping is SO dangerous, I'm tellin' ya.

Oooh yay okay!! I WILL. I'm actually really excited to write about that day. I took awesome notes. :thumbsup2


LOL Thanks. I figured Snappers is an appropriate name for a camera.

You know, that's true. I don't think I've ever met someone who doesn't like churros. They're probably one of the most universally appreciated desserts.

I like the Ranchos because they remind me of BTMRR. They are quite far from El Centro, though. Luckily our building was pretty close to the bus stop, but a lot of them aren't.

It definitely is! How precious.

They really are! It's like ice cream. I have never met anyone who doesn't love ice cream.

Yeah! I can totally see that! The bus stop is really all ya need anyway. :)


I, too, adore British people and their awesome accents. Speaking of Brits and Party in the USA, watch this. :upsidedow

I should write a comic book about Oprah, Jesus, and Dumbledore using their combined powers to fight crime. Oprah's BFF Gayle can come along too as the Robin to Oprah's Batman because she'll probably get bored listening to Jesus and Dumbledore compare beards.

I have TOTALLY seen that before! Have you seen the ones with the words and the iconic American people?? It is SO funny. Tom Felton like LOVES Americans. He's really good at acting like one. Clearly he doesn't realize how incredibly lucky he is to be British.

You should. It would be an instant hit for sure. Probably. Oprah will definitely need a bud. :laughing:
 
Okay, so I just sent you a PM about OSU because I'm definitely signing in-you are so much like me. Ohioans, panic attack-ees, scholars, sarcastics and writers representin' on the Dis...hahaha. Darn, first Kristen's Teppan Edo and Via Napoli and now you with Les Chefs. I just can't decide what to do-there's so many restaurants with hot waiters!
 
Very good memory!! It was such an awesome game! I had to wear one of my shirts to work today. :laughing: Thank-you for cheering for us tonight! :hug:
CONGRATS ON BEING THE WORLD SERIES CHAMPS! :yay:
I have TOTALLY seen that before! Have you seen the ones with the words and the iconic American people?? It is SO funny. Tom Felton like LOVES Americans. He's really good at acting like one. Clearly he doesn't realize how incredibly lucky he is to be British.

You should. It would be an instant hit for sure. Probably. Oprah will definitely need a bud. :laughing:
Yes! Tom's confusion as to why we use the term "Boo-yah" is adorable. Clearly I need to marry a British guy. Preferably one who won't be embarrassed when his crazy American wife runs around yelling "Expelliarmus!" at random strangers. :upsidedow
Okay, so I just sent you a PM about OSU because I'm definitely signing in-you are so much like me. Ohioans, panic attack-ees, scholars, sarcastics and writers representin' on the Dis...hahaha. Darn, first Kristen's Teppan Edo and Via Napoli and now you with Les Chefs. I just can't decide what to do-there's so many restaurants with hot waiters!
Hi! Thanks for joining in! There are so many restaurants with hot waiters. I guess that's a good thing, though, because you really can't go wrong with any of them. :goodvibes
 
OMG, I am so busy I haven't even had a chance to read this yet. AHHHHHH. But I'm here now. Yay.

HAHAHA everything on TV is real...good luck with that philosophy! :thumbsup2

Sneeze juice....reminds me of Full House.

Anyway, as we all know, dining at any of the World Showcase restaurants is a magical experience because it combines two of life’s greatest pleasures: good food and attractive men.

AMEN. :worship:

Kara: Make sure you write those names down! There ya go. :P

..."For the moment I saw him I fell!" LOL.

Yeah that soup looks a bit heavy for July...I agree.

I got the Gratin when I went there too. It was YUMMMMM.

HAHAHAHA beause I'm not a Justin Bieber fan, that was HILARIOUS. :rotfl2:

I really want to try the profieroles next time! They look delish!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep the updates rollin'!!!
 
OMG, I am so busy I haven't even had a chance to read this yet. AHHHHHH. But I'm here now. Yay.

HAHAHA everything on TV is real...good luck with that philosophy! :thumbsup2

Sneeze juice....reminds me of Full House.

AMEN. :worship:

Kara: Make sure you write those names down! There ya go. :P

..."For the moment I saw him I fell!" LOL.

Yeah that soup looks a bit heavy for July...I agree.

I got the Gratin when I went there too. It was YUMMMMM.

HAHAHAHA beause I'm not a Justin Bieber fan, that was HILARIOUS. :rotfl2:

I really want to try the profieroles next time! They look delish!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep the updates rollin'!!!
Gosh, I am so sorry I'm just now responding to this. Life, man. Life.

Everything reminds me of Full House. It's a sickness. :rotfl:

You MUST try the profiteroles. They are AMAZING. I'm quite certain that they're one of Oprah's Favorite Things.

OK, so my updates haven't really been rollin'. I'm sorry. But I am going to post a GIGANTIC one right now, so does that make up for it?
 
JULY 4TH PART FOUR: "Just in case I'm not enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara!"
When I last left off, the ‘Rents and I were headed over to the UK to get our rock and roll on.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

As you know (because I mention it all the time), we’re from Cleveland.

All Clevelanders are born with the unique ability to both rock and roll. At the same time.

I know, right? The incredible amount of jealousy you must be feeling right now is most certainly warranted. It’s quite the blessing.

We’re also born with the ability to not have a job and to lose at sports. And to be incredibly cynical and self-deprecating. And to deal with freezing cold winters, 10 feet of snow, and 3 days of sunshine a year.

Basically, what I was trying to say before that little tangent is that if “Baba O’Riley” is a-playin’, we’re headin’ in that direction. Like snakes being charmed out of a basket. Except not nearly as scaly.

At least, not in my case.

I can’t speak for my parents.

First, here’s a lovely shot of the World Showcase Lagoon:
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As you can see, it’s incredibly dreary. We felt right at home. It’s the Cleveland in us.

For those guests who aren’t used to existing in a black hole of darkness and depression, this garden definitely added some cheer:
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I love it back there. It’s so quiet and calm.

If you ignore the band playing “Wild Thing” just a few feet away. :cool2:

Mumsy, Popsicle, and I headed in through the back door of the tea shop. I don’t drink tea, but I’m quite the fan of tea-related paraphernalia. Once I have a house of my own to decorate, I want to start collecting teapots. They’re so cute and round and spouty! I blame Mrs. Potts. I also love looking at all the different types of tea and imagining what my life would be like if I did drink it. Probably a lot classier.

After I finished lusting over an Alice in Wonderland tea set, we headed across the street to check out the other shops.
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We played with swords, flipped through a few children’s books, and I wished for a time machine so I could go back and experience Beatlemania. My *NSYNC days were nuts, but those Beatles fans were intense, man. All that shaking and crying had to be downright therapeutic.

Stupid lack of time machines...

Wait, I have an idea! We’re all gonna go to WDW at the same time and have our own little Disneymania. We can chase Mickey Mouse down Main Street while screaming and crying. We can rip Aladdin’s clothes off. We can repeatedly yell ‘MARRY US – POLYGAMY CAN TOTALLY WORK – DON’T YOU WATCH SISTER WIVES?’ at the guy who grills the delicious meat at ‘Ohana, and then, when he tries to escape our advances by hopping on the monorail, we’ll jump on the hood of the train until security pulls us off and we get sent to Disney jail and…wait…this is not a good plan. The ‘getting arrested’ part isn’t that bad, but they’d probably ban us from WDW.

FOR LIFE. *GASP*

That, my friends, is the very definition of cruel and unusual punishment.

I’m gonna have to re-think this…

In the meantime, let’s move on.

I bought this fabulous mug:
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I’m assuming that by purchasing this I’ve entered into an agreement to be Queen. I’m not entirely sure what I’m Queen of, but it says ‘Your Most Supreme Excellency’ on the back so I know it’s legit. That’s absolutely what I would choose for my title to be. No one’s really treating me any differently yet which is good, I guess. I’m not one for favoritism. I do find it a bit strange, though, that I haven’t been asked to perform any royal duties. Don’t I have some hands to shake and some hideous pantsuits to wear? Shouldn’t Julie Andrews show up at my house to give me royalty lessons? The Mia Thermopolis in me is strong. I NEED GUIDANCE.

With my mug all wrapped up and safely inside one of those wonderful Disney shopping bags, we headed out. The band was finishing their set with a medley of The Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” “The End,” and “Hey Jude.” I sang along as we walked to Canada.
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We all know that Canada is the place to go if you want to stock up on maple syrup, get punched in the face at a hockey game, or learn how to build a dam from actual beavers.

But did you know that Canada also makes AMAZING pajamas?

Because they do. I found that out last summer when I bought a pair of moose-printed pj shorts at Epcot. They are the most comfortable pajamas I’ve ever had the pleasure of wearing. After one wear, I was ready to call the company and ask for a lifetime supply. I mean, doesn’t a Pajama of the Month club sound like an excellent idea? It would go perfectly with the Cheese of the Month club I’m destined to join someday.

I’ll be working on my night cheese in style...I miss 30 Rock.

Anyway, the pajamas are sold at the Northwest Mercantile, so we went thatta way.
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I found an adorable pair of pj shorts with black bears on them. When I went to pay, the CM noticed my birthday button and jokingly said “You’re buying your own souvenirs? On your birthday trip? What kind of family do you come from?” So, I said, “They’re awful. They make me scrub the floors and do all the cooking and I don’t even have any woodland creature friends to help me out!” as I handed her a gift card.

Once we were back outside, we noticed that there were a lot of people already camped out for Illuminations. It was only, like, 7:30 and Illuminations wasn’t scheduled to begin until 10:00, but it’s one of my favorite things at WDW, so we decided to join the masses and find a spot.

We settled on a little patch of pavement midway between the WS giftshops and Mexico. I was feeling a bit uneasy about this spot because it was quite crowded and I was not in the mood to deal with insanity. I’m not super comfortable spending extended amounts of time in a sea of humanity. I really wanted to see if there was somewhere a bit quieter, so I went for a little walk.

I took about two steps and realized that my search would return no results, but I had time to kill so I continued on. Of course, by ‘continued on,’ I mean ‘wove my way in and out of massive groups of people who either had one too many margaritas or were rushing their little princesses to dinner at Akershus while praying that I wouldn’t be trampled to death’.

Then, I saw something I never thought I’d see. It was truly mind-blowing. My whole world was turned upside down.
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That’s the line for the Maelstrom.

It’s out of the building.

After I picked my jaw up off the Crocs of a passerby, I had to look up to make sure pigs weren’t flying. I felt a lot like that guy in the Double Rainbow video. I stood there in the middle of the sidewalk yelling “OH MY GOD WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?” for a good 10 minutes.

I took a picture of the wait time because I knew I’d need proof when I returned to my family.
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40 MINUTES! Why would anyone wait that long? Do they realize that I could’ve said “You are not the first to pass this vay, nor shall you be the last” in a vaguely ominous Norwegian accent and saved them an hour of their lives?

As I was standing there, the wait time went up to 45 minutes. I knew I had to remove myself from the situation before my head exploded and little brain bits landed in someone’s school bread, so I headed back to my parents, shaking my head the entire way.

45 minutes. 45 minutes. 45 minutes.

There were a lot of things that happened when I got back, but none of them warrant their own giant wall of text, so I’m just going to give you the rundown:
*Katie and Wade met up with us and showed off all the stuff they bought. I think it was the first time Katie has ever enjoyed World Showcase.

*I had a GIANT strawberry slush. It was wonderful.

*I made Katie check the Indians score on her phone since I’m one of those ‘Oh you kids and your newfangled technology’ people who might as well still be using smoke signals to communicate. We beat the Yankees.

*Fourth of July fireworks viewers are INTENSE. There were blankets and beach towels laid out everywhere. I saw a woman pull out a bag of fried chicken to feed her family. Kids were running everywhere. People were yelling over us trying to communicate with the 700 other members of their party sitting elsewhere. It felt a lot more like I was at a local fireworks display than at Disney and, at the risk of sounding like a spoiled brat, I was not happy about it. There’s just something special about Disney fireworks and these people made it not that.

*Mom and I wandered around the shops at the entrance to WS. Duffy the bear is adorable. His outfits are too much. If I’m not careful, I’ll be returning home from our next trip with a new lederhosen-clad friend. I also found a 40th Anniversary tote bag that I really liked (but didn’t buy until later in the trip). I’ve found that I can never have enough massive totes. The ones I use for school look like something out of an episode of Hoarders.

At 9:00, I decided I couldn’t stand being around all these people any longer, so Mom and I sacrificed our spots to the masses and headed back toward Innoventions. I needed air. And my second favorite area loop. And to be able to extend my arm without punching someone in the face.

We had an hour to kill, so we took some Photopass pictures (which turned out horrible) and then headed into the magical money vacuum known as Mouse Gear. We picked out a few souvies for my cousins and managed to leave without entirely emptying our pockets. We deserve an award.

We spent the rest of the wait chatting and having some good old-fashioned mother-daughter time. For us, that involves stupid voices, snark, and a lot of laughter.

Then, after hours of dealing with smelly, sweaty, fried-chicken-eating people who waited 45 minutes for the Maelstrom, it was FINALLY time for Illuminations.

There aren’t many things I cannot put my love for into words, but Illuminations is one of those things. If Disney ever takes it away, I will…Ok, I don’t know exactly what I’ll do, but I’m pretty sure it will include buckets of ice cream, a river of tears, and months of depression.

Anyway, here are some Illuminations photos courtesy of my father:
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Here’s the one picture I took from where Mom and I were standing:
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I never realized just how crazy that fire is until this trip. I could’ve roasted a marshmallow from our spot near the Fountain of Nations. Kids, fire is not just hot up close, it’s hot EVERYWHERE.

You’re all welcome to provide the ‘DUH’ sound effect now if you’d like.

As the special 4th of July tag drew to a close, Mom and I started toward the bus stop. There was a CSR bus waiting for us (THANK YOU BUS GODS!), so we piled on and headed home. Am I the only one who finds standing up on a crowded bus late at night fun? I think it has to do with the excitement of wondering whether or not my legs will give out from exhaustion. I’m not typically one to thrive on risk, but this particular risk is quite exhilarating.

When we got back to our room, I brushed my teeth and collapsed into bed. I wish there was a more exciting way to wrap this evening up, but there isn’t, so, THE END. :upsidedow

UP NEXT: MY BIRTHDAY!

PS: I apologize for any nonsensicality this installment may have contained. For whatever reason, I found it impossible to write. I just needed to write something and this was that something.

PPS: If you're not already, you need to watch Once Upon a Time on ABC. I'm obsessed. Snow White and Prince Charming have reduced me to a sobbing mess several times and we're only 4 episodes in. Their love is just so perfect. :lovestruc
 





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