I don't listen to fat people so...

[Jazzybell]

Well, the kid didn't learn that attitude from the wind. He picked it up somewhere.

And, if I had an 8 year old and he said that, he'd quickly learn how much worse it is to piss off a fat person!

Had I been foolish enough to say something like this to my mom when I was growing up, she would have made sure I knew the error of my ways.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

5 yo and under (give or take a little time)--it's cute and they don't typically know what they are saying.

8yo--the kid has a smart mouth.

So does my child and I have zero tolerance for it. If she says something hateful--she's in big trouble.

At 8, they know when something stings and they use it to their advantage in an effort to test the boundaries and try to control the situation.


No excuse for it and I don't care of the mom in this scenario ways 600 pounds.

 

[FireDancer]

Firedancer and Jilpie, there may be truth in these words, but if your kid came to you and said " I don't have to listen to you because you are a *blank*I wonder how you would react. Would you nod and say "Yes, you are right I should stop being this way." Or would you teach your child a lesson in not being respectful.

You are talking about two different issues. I never said it was acceptable for the child to say what they said. I think they should be punished but at the same time the parent should figure out where they got the impression that anyone doesn't have to listen to anyone else because of their weight. The notion that authority and weight are related makes no sense in most scenarios.

The second issue is the actual weight of the person. The standard of health in this country is appalling and a big part of it is the expanding waste line of the average American. I believe that despite what the media likes to say about actors and athletes the first and most important role model in any child's life is their parent(s). A big part of being a good role model for your kids is to set an example. If you don't want them to swear don't swear. If you don't want them to be dishonest don't be dishonest. If you want them to live active lives and eat healthy, live an active life yourself and eat healthy. Not a single one of my active, in shape friends have inactive, overweight kids. Not one. So yes, the weight of a parent in this situation is very important to how their child not only portrays them but also how they portray themselves.

The OP had no context to their post so it is hard to give an accurate judgment. If the parent said to the kid they need to do their homework and the response was "I don't have to listen to you because you are fat" that makes no sense. However, if the parent was yelling at the child about their lack of physical exercise and poor eating habits while at the same time spending their free time sitting on the couch watching soaps and eating tubs of ice cream I think they would be hypocrites. The same reaction by the kid might not have been communicated very well but he/she would have a point.

These things always turn into flame fests but I am not going to pretend I feel a way I don't. I don't care if someone is or isn't fat any more than I care if someone is or isn't bald or anything else you want to insert here. I have friends that are obese and others that have abs you can do laundry on. I do find however that people who are unhappy with themselves love to attack positions like mine out of some sort of misdirected rage. Either be happy with how you are or change it, those are the two options in life. Also, the perfect defense for any position is truth.

 

[Boxley]

You are talking about two different issues. I never said it was acceptable for the child to say what they said. I think they should be punished but at the same time the parent should figure out where they got the impression that anyone doesn't have to listen to anyone else because of their weight. The notion that authority and weight are related makes no sense in most scenarios.

The second issue is the actual weight of the person. The standard of health in this country is appalling and a big part of it is the expanding waste line of the average American. I believe that despite what the media likes to say about actors and athletes the first and most important role model in any child's life is their parent(s). A big part of being a good role model for your kids is to set an example. If you don't want them to swear don't swear. If you don't want them to be dishonest don't be dishonest. If you want them to live active lives and eat healthy, live an active life yourself and eat healthy. Not a single one of my active, in shape friends have inactive, overweight kids. Not one. So yes, the weight of a parent in this situation is very important to how their child not only portrays them but also how they portray themselves.

The OP had no context to their post so it is hard to give an accurate judgment. If the parent said to the kid they need to do their homework and the response was "I don't have to listen to you because you are fat" that makes no sense. However, if the parent was yelling at the child about their lack of physical exercise and poor eating habits while at the same time spending their free time sitting on the couch watching soaps and eating tubs of ice cream I think they would be hypocrites. The same reaction by the kid might not have been communicated very well but he/she would have a point.

These things always turn into flame fests but I am not going to pretend I feel a way I don't. I don't care if someone is or isn't fat any more than I care if someone is or isn't bald or anything else you want to insert here. I have friends that are obese and others that have abs you can do laundry on. I do find however that people who are unhappy with themselves love to attack positions like mine out of some sort of misdirected rage. Either be happy with how you are or change it, those are the two options in life.

My point is that NO kid has a right to say that to a parent and simply the child can get away with it because it could be the "truth" in any situation. There should be a lesson that respect should be given to whomever and especially a parent. The weight is not an issue, but rather the fact that disrespect was given to a parent and therefore the child must be punished. Since there is the lack of context in the op's post how about the fact that perhaps the mother is trying to lose weight, maybe tehre is more then just food related weightloss and does that mean she should stand for her son's statement. This is not about two adults and weight problems, this is a child and a parent which is a different thing all together.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I'd say that a heavy parent telling their child they needed to eat better, blah, blah, blah, has all the more right to tell their child to do differently. It is the habits we learn as children that are the hardest to break.

 

[zippitydoo]

Wow cant believe that kid said that hurtful thing to his mother.

 

[Tikitoi]

hatred is a strong word to describe the actions/words of an 8 Y.O.

How bout disrespect, undisciplined...?

 

[joyjoy]

What an obnoxious brat. I can't believe anyone would defend that behavior.

 

[KAMLEM]

Why are some of you freaking out? Kids say odd stuff like that all the time or somtimes depending on the kid.

He probably didn't hear it probably just popped in his head and he used it (i'm not saying he shouldn't be in trouble)

I thought it was funny

Are you 12? I certainly hope you don't have any kids with this mindset.

 

[Sparx]

Are you 12? I certainly hope you don't have any kids with this mindset.

her profile says she's 16.

 

[NY Disney fan]

When I was little I would say very disrespectful things like this to elders. Even worse! One time I told my 1st grade teacher that they are paying HER not me to hand out papers. Another time my mother served me dinner and told her "I didn't want this slop" (something I heard from a cartoon). I got slapped in the mouth for saying both of those things. I got beat a lot!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I don't listen to blonde people.

 

[ma2jr]

Wow kids can be hurtful..

 

[SkyGirl]

I do not believe in spanking and never hit my DD, now 22, but if she had said something like that to me, she would have gotten a spanking for being so disrespectful. And then she would have been lectured to about respect for her parent, other people, people who may be different. Respect is HUGE in my house, always has been and always will be.

And had I been the mother, I might have felt stung if I was overweight, but I would feel terrible that by age 8 that child could be so disrespectful to me. That type of training has to begin ... at the beginning.

 

[Momvic5]

Just a thought....sometimes a rude child reflects rude parents...just the other day, I overheard a woman being incredibly rude and disrespectful to an elderly woman at the grocery store. Two young children were with them....I have no idea if they were a family or not, but this woman was so rude, it made me feel uncomfortable. What a horrible example this lady was to the children!

Also, we have all overheard parents being overly rude and sarcastic to their children. What may be shockingly rude in some families, may be the norm in other families.

What is that old saying... children's bad habits are often the habits of their parents...

 

[shrubber]

I'm struggling to lose weight. I look like I weigh 160-165 but I weigh 195. I can hide it well. But it hurts when my 4 year old asks me why I'm so squishy. She always pushes on my belly or chest and asks. I know she doesn't mean to but I know it's cuz I have a little too much fat on the bones.

You are now on my ignore list......






I kid, I kid.....

 

[goofy4tink]

her profile says she's 16.

My dd is 16 and I think she would have a whole different perspective than that young lady. Even a 16 y/o should realize what disrespectful behaviour is.

While I can sort of understand the mentality of 'well, you're fat so why the heck should I listen to you tell me how to eat or exercise' it still doesn't excuse the wording. It's just plain disrespectful. Even if it was a case of a mom trying to get her child to eat better or to get more exercise, the child still shouldn't have made the remark. There are better ways to 'use your words'.

 

[FireDancer]

While I can sort of understand the mentality of 'well, you're fat so why the heck should I listen to you tell me how to eat or exercise' it still doesn't excuse the wording. It's just plain disrespectful. Even if it was a case of a mom trying to get her child to eat better or to get more exercise, the child still shouldn't have made the remark. There are better ways to 'use your words'.

Agreed. The way it was said was not acceptable (and I never said it was), but the content could be in what you said above if it were phrased a little better.

Lets take the parent/child out of the situation and leave the rest of it the same:

If my boss was 600 pounds and came in my office and asked me to do some task it would make no sense for me to disregard that request because of his weight. However, if that same boss came in to advise me on my lunchtime food choices I would not take him seriously and would respond with something like "You are kidding, right?". I wouldn't say "you are fat and I don't have to listen to you" but to try and give me eating advice when he obviously has much less of a grasp on what a healthy lifestyle is than I do is ridiculous. This is what I was referring to when I talked about the lack of context in OP. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

[daisyyy]

Uhh!... I think this is a situation for Super Nanny? No 8 yo child should speak to their mother in that manner. That shows no respect. they know exactly what they are saying. I agree with a PP, that maybe @ 4 or 5.. it's cute, and maybe they don't realize it's hurtful.. but @ 8yo.. they know. There is no excuse. If they are that way now, what will they be like when they hit their teens? who is in control? the disrespectful kid or the mom... I hope she put him in his place to show him she's the adult, otherwise, the signal he's getting is that it's ok to treat people like that.. he's heading for disaster.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Agreed. The way it was said was not acceptable (and I never said it was), but the content could be in what you said above if it were phrased a little better.

Lets take the parent/child out of the situation and leave the rest of it the same:

If my boss was 600 pounds and came in my office and asked me to do some task it would make no sense for me to disregard that request because of his weight. However, if that same boss came in to advise me on my lunchtime food choices I would not take him seriously and would respond with something like "You are kidding, right?". I wouldn't say "you are fat and I don't have to listen to you" but to try and give me eating advice when he obviously has much less of a grasp on what a healthy lifestyle is than I do is ridiculous. This is what I was referring to when I talked about the lack of context in OP. Nothing more and nothing less.

A boss isn't a parent and is not in charge of the health of a child. So the analogy does not work. A parent has the responsibility to teach a child in spite of themselves. I smoked pot in college. That does not relieve my children from listening to me when I say it is not good for them.