How to Handle Criticism of Disney Weddings

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

I tell people with weird conceptions that Disney has a beautiful wedding pavilion set up just for weddings, with columns and hardwood pews and a large window overlooking a lake for the ceremony, and that you can even dine in Epcot France or Italy. Try getting YOUR entire wedding party to Italy.

I actually get more of a reaction that a Disney wedding must cost more than a house! People look at me oddly for having spent so much on what they think is a lavish wedding, so I have to explain that I'm not actually a walking bag of money, and Disney is very reasonable. Some of my family came in from out of the country, and apparently someone there started a rumor that I was getting married IN the castle, and that all the characters were going to be in the audience, and we were spending more than a quarter mil all told!

Aren't rumors great? LOL.

 

[Disney-Chick]

I have had family members make comments about why im having a DW and I said to the family that DH, myself and my DD will be there and whoever would like to join us can, if not we will have lots of photos. Our wedding, our life our money!!!

 

[Bridie1996]

I have had family members make comments about why im having a DW and I said to the family that DH, myself and my DD will be there and whoever would like to join us can, if not we will have lots of photos. Our wedding, our life our money!!!

That was pretty much the route we took too. After many talks trying to explain our reasons we finally just threw our hands up and said "listen, we'll be there. If you want to come, then great, we'd love to have you. If not, so be it. More cake for us."

 

[AvenueBee]

Just wanted to tell everyone how helpful this feed is. i'm helping a friend plan her Disney wedding at the moment, and this is an issue I'd wondered about myself!

 

[CityGirlLost]

Now that FH and I are officially engaged we have to start telling people about the plan for a DFTW. My family expects it, I'm sure. I think his family is going to be pushy and upset about it.

 

[chelsrae85]

My parents have both already informed us that a Disney wedding is "dumb", and that they "don't have the money to attend". Oh, and I'm going to hell for not getting married in a church (you know, because God only exists in the walls of the church and He never goes to Disney...)

They "don't have the money", but my Dad has a new pickup that is less than three years old, and they just put in an offer on a new house last week.

It's fine that they don't want to spend their money to attend their daughter's wedding. What is not fine is lying about it and trying to make me feel guilty for doing what I want to do.

 

[PartofDisney'sWorld]

My parents have both already informed us that a Disney wedding is "dumb", and that they "don't have the money to attend". Oh, and I'm going to hell for not getting married in a church (you know, because God only exists in the walls of the church and He never goes to Disney...)

They "don't have the money", but my Dad has a new pickup that is less than three years old, and they just put in an offer on a new house last week.

It's fine that they don't want to spend their money to attend their daughter's wedding. What is not fine is lying about it and trying to make me feel guilty for doing what I want to do.

That's exactly what my dad did. He says he "doesn't have money" but just bought a brand new pool table. Right. Exactly what you said, it's not right to lie. Do what you want to do, it's YOUR day and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. If they don't want to be there they will be the ones to regret it for the rest of their lives.

 

[chelsrae85]

That's exactly what my dad did. He says he "doesn't have money" but just bought a brand new pool table. Right. Exactly what you said, it's not right to lie. Do what you want to do, it's YOUR day and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. If they don't want to be there they will be the ones to regret it for the rest of their lives.

I agree! You do what you want to do, too! I can't understand being a parent and not wanting to attend my daughter's wedding.

I will never say this to them, because it makes me sound very selfish and entitled, but I also think it's funny that most parents contribute financially to their daughters weddings, and all I'm asking them to do is essentially go on vacation with me!

We have a supportive network of friends and his relatives who will be attending our wedding. Those who don't want to come can come to the semi-casual dance we'll be holding at a local lodge back home a month later. I understand there are those who genuinely can't come; for my parents though, the only excuse is that they just don't want to make the effort.

 

[gules]

I will never say this to them, because it makes me sound very selfish and entitled, but I also think it's funny that most parents contribute financially to their daughters weddings, and all I'm asking them to do is essentially go on vacation with me!

What part of this is "selfish and entitled"? You're not selfish for wanting your parents to come to your special day!

And as for "going to hell" you can have a full ceremony at the reception, you know. Are you a Catholic? The only things Catholics can't do is have mass (but you could do the religious bit at home if you wanted) but anyone else can bring in their own officiant if they want! I guess I don't see your parents' logic on this one!

Parents are, sadly, just like us and sometimes have little tantrums over not getting what they want! It looks like yours are sulky that you don't have the same idea of a dream wedding that they do. I hope you all work things out before the big day. And congrats!

 

[CityGirlLost]

So FH and I were at his parents' house the other night and we were showing his mom pictures of things and playing music for her. She seemed genuinely excited about our plans and then when FH said something about saving up to go she said, "Oh, I don't know if we'll be able to go in November. You dad has deer season."

Seriously???

 

[PartofDisney'sWorld]

So FH and I were at his parents' house the other night and we were showing his mom pictures of things and playing music for her. She seemed genuinely excited about our plans and then when FH said something about saving up to go she said, "Oh, I don't know if we'll be able to go in November. You dad has deer season."

Seriously???

Wow.

 

[Tale as old as Time]

The salesgirl at David's bridal laughed at me when I told her where our destination wedding was being held. My 12 year old niece responded - "why are you laughing?! I think it's awesome!!!". As the salesgirl walked away, my niece said in a very loud whisper - "she is just jealous because no one wants to marry her at Disney World!!"

I LOVE it! Your neice is awesome! I wish my family was more like her...

 

[elleinad16]

So FH and I were at his parents' house the other night and we were showing his mom pictures of things and playing music for her. She seemed genuinely excited about our plans and then when FH said something about saving up to go she said, "Oh, I don't know if we'll be able to go in November. You dad has deer season."

Seriously???

I've had 3 separate friend/family members tell me they don't know if they can come because hunting season starts the same weekend as my wedding.

WTH.

 

[Tinkerkell007]

I've had 3 separate friend/family members tell me they don't know if they can come because hunting season starts the same weekend as my wedding.

WTH.

Well then good, less mouths to feed! I can't believe someone that cared would let that stand in the way but if thats how they feel than I'd rather not have them there to begin with. I REALLY don't understand people sometimes

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

Well then good, less mouths to feed!

This is my new motto.

If you don't want my steak then that's fine--stay home and eat pizza--cheaper for me.

 

[2girls4me]

I am not a Disney bride, but wanted to add my 02 cents as an "outsider."

TBH, I would be a bit put off if someone was planning a disney wedding. My bil is dating a girl who is a disney nut and I know that's what she wants. They are not engaged yet, so there is no reason to argue the cost, planning, etc. But I will say it would be tough for me as a family of 4 to get to disney for the wedding.

We would gladly go and not complain to the bride or groom, but it would be tough for us. If I knew about it years in advance, I would save our $$ and make it work.

And FWIW, I don't have any problem with Disney weddings. You should see some of the over the top weddings we have here.

 

[PartofDisney'sWorld]

I am not a Disney bride, but wanted to add my 02 cents as an "outsider."

TBH, I would be a bit put off if someone was planning a disney wedding. My bil is dating a girl who is a disney nut and I know that's what she wants. They are not engaged yet, so there is no reason to argue the cost, planning, etc. But I will say it would be tough for me as a family of 4 to get to disney for the wedding.

We would gladly go and not complain to the bride or groom, but it would be tough for us. If I knew about it years in advance, I would save our $$ and make it work.

And FWIW, I don't have any problem with Disney weddings. You should see some of the over the top weddings we have here.

I think that it's one thing if a family member cannot afford to make the trip; if people have a destination wedding, they have to understand that some of their guests may not be able to attend for whatever reason (financial, can't get time off work, can't get kids out of school, etc. etc.). BUT, it's also something else if people just make excuses (lame ones at that) not to go just because they don't like where somebody is getting married. And I don't think people should get married somewhere just to make somebody else happy, they should get married wherever they want to, because it is their day.

Also, pretty much all of the people on this thread aren't complaining about family members not being able to afford it, it's people making nasty, snarky comments to them about having a Disney wedding in general, or making really bad excuses as to why they cannot attend (i.e. hunting season starts as pp have mentioned). JMHO.

 

[Tale as old as Time]

I think that it's one thing if a family member cannot afford to make the trip; if people have a destination wedding, they have to understand that some of their guests may not be able to attend for whatever reason (financial, can't get time off work, can't get kids out of school, etc. etc.). BUT, it's also something else if people just make excuses (lame ones at that) not to go just because they don't like where somebody is getting married. And I don't think people should get married somewhere just to make somebody else happy, they should get married wherever they want to, because it is their day.

Also, pretty much all of the people on this thread aren't complaining about family members not being able to afford it, it's people making nasty, snarky comments to them about having a Disney wedding in general, or making really bad excuses as to why they cannot attend (i.e. hunting season starts as pp have mentioned). JMHO.

I completely agree... well put!

 

[2girls4me]

I think that it's one thing if a family member cannot afford to make the trip; if people have a destination wedding, they have to understand that some of their guests may not be able to attend for whatever reason (financial, can't get time off work, can't get kids out of school, etc. etc.). BUT, it's also something else if people just make excuses (lame ones at that) not to go just because they don't like where somebody is getting married. And I don't think people should get married somewhere just to make somebody else happy, they should get married wherever they want to, because it is their day.

Also, pretty much all of the people on this thread aren't complaining about family members not being able to afford it, it's people making nasty, snarky comments to them about having a Disney wedding in general, or making really bad excuses as to why they cannot attend (i.e. hunting season starts as pp have mentioned). JMHO.

The huntingthing is lame, yes, absolutely. And if I had to I'd find a way. Again, it's not an issue for us, just sharing another POV.

Good Luck to all.

 

[Disnsyncey]

along with the hunting thing (though I'm not getting married anytime soon) a lot of the people I know find it hard to have a wedding in TOWN, ANYTIME during the fall cuz of football season.....if I still live here when I get engaged, it looks like it will be a spring or summer wedding!