How to Handle Criticism of Disney Weddings

[thatdisneygirl]

I went to a design conference today and I ended up in a lot of conversations about the whole Disney wedding idea. Every single person I talked to was critical. Every. Single. Person.

I got everything from "Disney weddings? are you serious?" to "I would make fun of someone if they told me they were getting married at Disneyland." The concept that Disney weddings could be stylish and elegant and amazing was completely lost. In fact, most people wanted to know if all the brides picked a princess and then wore that costume down the aisle. I think the general impression most people had was a cross between a Renaissance Fair and a Star Wars convention.

How do you handle people who dismiss your wedding once they find out it's happening at Disney?

 

[ILoveJack]

Maybe they are just jealous because their frog never turned into prince charming. I'd love to have a wedding at Disney, especially since I have never had a nice wedding. Just city hall with no wedding dress or anything. So if I could borrow one of the princess's gowns that would be fine with me.

 

[pezaddict231]

I've been pretty lucky in that most people I tell do seem to think it's really cool, or at least pretend they do while I'm there. And most people seem genuinely interested and ask me details.

My MOH's husband has been the only one that really makes comments... and I kinda just dismiss it. For example once he asked if Mickey would be performing the ceremony and I said yes, they even have an Archbishop Mickey costume! I don't think he's really trying to be mean so I just laugh it off.

I find it so surprising that people would think it wouldn't be amazing. Basically Disney does everything amazingly well, and to such incredible detail. I mean before they built Expedition Everest they sent imagineers there so that every detail would be correct. Would the vast majority of people know it was authentic, absolutely not, but Disney had to have it authentic.

I'm sure there are plenty of people that think we're crazy, and the others think we're really wealthy since they assume it must be costing a fortune!

 

[ColeV]

I got a few funny looks, then I went on to talk about the wedding itself. Once I mentioned a 1930s style wedding at a gazebo on a vintage boardwalk by a lake and heading over to a new england style beach resort for the reception, they were usually more curious! I add in the wedding planner and crew, then mention the low "minimum", along with all the other Disney amenities (food, hotels, transport, entertainment). I had one woman go from "Really? Is Mickey going to be your best man?" to "I wish my son would be getting married there instead!" in just ten minutes.

 

[Bridie1996]

I've come across my share of odd looks and snarky comments and misconceptions. Until the night before the wedding, DH's own family seemed to be under the impression that they each got a different character to escort them down the aisle.

While discussing the wedding, I started following my "I'm getting married at Disney World" with " but its not THAT type of Disney Wedding!"

Every one of my guests who were naysayers or doubters throughout the process are now the ones who can't wait to go back and can't stop raving about the wedding.

And don't even get me started on dress shopping! I stopped telling attendants that I was getting married at Disney World because once they heard that, they'd bring me every huge ball gown in the place!

In the end though, the only thing I found that helped was talking about how beautiful the boardwalk is, and how much help the coordinator was and how great it was to only have limited vendors to work with rather than chasing after a florist, a caterer, a decorator, a lighting company, entertainment etc.

A wedding can be tacky and cheesy at the most expensive venue in town, it doesn't matter where it is. And if they want to think Disney is childish or tacky or cheesy.. well then, that is their loss!

 

[Pirate's Princess]

Honestly I haven't has many Nay Sayers. Some jokes about characters and costumes but I take them as jokes. Most people are excited especially all my students who beg to be invited and they think it's really cool I'm getting marries in Disney. They always ask is it at the castle and I just say no we are doing it at epcot. If people think it's lame it is their loss.

 

[Wish on a Star]

I was lucky that I didnt have may people criticizing (to my face at least-lol) but I know that MOST people have a completely distorted vision of what a Disney wedding looked like. When I told people about my wedding I knew what kind of person I was talking to - if they were kinda snarky and wouldnt sit through an explanation I just told them "destination wedding in florida" if they were the sweet, excited for you type- I told them the whole thing- and made sure to mention how beautiful SBP was!

 

[alwaysdisney]

We thought about getting married some place else, but we decided, since we got engaged in front of the castle, in December, in front of DF's family, there could be no other place in the world, that could make us have that Disney feeling, no place. We will be so proud when we're asked "where did you both get married" and our answer isn't some venue, that no one knows about, but we will be very proud to say "Disney World" or for the brides getting married at "Disney Land". EVERYONE KNOWS THE WORD DISNEY. The ones that snicker or make remarks, they probably have never stayed on property, never done anything other then the parks and have never gone to Disney during a holiday.

 

[TiffJ]

I have had a few people think it would be tacky. But them tell them what's included in the Escape package & show pictures of the WP & SBP and they are in awe.

 

[receptionist]

My daughter got married in 2008 at the Wedding Pavilion at Disney World in Orlando and her wedding was so elegant!!!! They chose Disney because of the fact that they both love Disney and also how stress free their wedding planning was for them. They had looked at other venues but none of them really impressed them as much as the Wedding Pavilion. My daughter wanted a place that when people walked in they would be in awe of how beautiful it is. No aspect of their wedding was overly disney, in fact they didn't have any characters show up or anything else like that. Their wedding cake did have the Cinderellla castle on top but that is about it. The venues that disney has are spectacular. The wedding planners take care of everything for you, and Disney does the food, photography, flowers etc. They had a great experience and nothing went wrong the day of the wedding, everything ran so smoothly it was wonderful!!!!! I say for anyone considering a Disney wedding go for it. YOu can plan it according to your budget and how you want it. Anytime I have mentioned that my daughter was married there people have always been interested about the details,no one has every mocked the idea. YOu have to do what makes you happy and don't worry about other people's comments, it's your wedding not theirs.

 

[DisneyLeah]

Carly - I'm so glad you started this thread as I am having a bit of this problem except its not my friends or co-workers that have an issue with it, its my FAMILY!

For most, the issue seems to be about the cost and general lack of interest in going to Disney.

I've heard the following from guests...
"What? Are you serious? Why?????"
"Well, that's great. This is going to cost me a fortune"
And my favorite - "Disney World - who would want to go there?"

On the other hand, DFs family is excited and already wants to make their reservations (we havent even booked a date yet)! When I talk about it with co-workers, they think its a great idea because they know how much we enjoy Disney (and many have seen the Disney Weddings special).

All I have been able to do to "defend" it so far is to explain that its going to be much cheaper than if we had a NJ wedding and its something we'd actually look forward to. I was not at all interested in planning a NJ wedding.

I hope other brides can offer some good advice on this - as I am going to need it when I try to explain this to my grandparents - who most certainly will not come.

thanks!

 

[alwaysdisney]

Carly - I'm so glad you started this thread as I am having a bit of this problem except its not my friends or co-workers that have an issue with it, its my FAMILY!

For most, the issue seems to be about the cost and general lack of interest in going to Disney.

I've heard the following from guests...
"What? Are you serious? Why?????"
"Well, that's great. This is going to cost me a fortune"
And my favorite - "Disney World - who would want to go there?"

On the other hand, DFs family is excited and already wants to make their reservations (we havent even booked a date yet)! When I talk about it with co-workers, they think its a great idea because they know how much we enjoy Disney (and many have seen the Disney Weddings special).

All I have been able to do to "defend" it so far is to explain that its going to be much cheaper than if we had a NJ wedding and its something we'd actually look forward to. I was not at all interested in planning a NJ wedding.

I hope other brides can offer some good advice on this - as I am going to need it when I try to explain this to my grandparents - who most certainly will not come.

thanks!

It's their lost, they will miss out on a very special day of your life. I wonder how they would feel if their parents / grandparents would have told them that they would not attend their wedding when they got married?

 

[RangerPooh]

Carly,
When we announced to our family and friends years ago that we were getting married at DL many of them rolled their eyes and laughed. We got the comments of "why not locally (northern California)?", "No one will attend, you know?", "it's too expensive for us", "will Mickey be there?"....

So we sat them down and told them the cost breakdown and our reasoning behind the choice. We told them that the locatin thatw e were looking at in the SAanta Cruz area was costing us x amount for the site fee, x amount for the meal, x amount for the cake, x amount for the drinks, x amount for renting silverware/plates/linens, etc, we would be lookng at x amount for ...... and it was going to cost us about $15k when all was said and done. DL on the other hand had a weekday minimum of $5k whihc included the site fee, plated meals/beverages/cake for under $100pp, our DJ was going to cost under $500, lodging was cheaper, and our guests could make a mini-vacation out of it. Plus it meant more to us then somewhere that didn't hold any meaning for us.

After knowing the reasoning they were usually ok with the idea and thought that it was a more reasonable idea, although many of them were the run off to Reno and have a wedding for $50 type. In the end our guests thanked us and had a wonderful time. They got a vacation out of it, spent time with family members, and had a unqiue expereince that not everyone else will ahve. Besides, over the years we have attended many family weddings and no ones holds a candle to ours

 

[MainStMandy]

We have that exact reaction from a lot of people. I think my family kept their mouths shut..but they also aren't going. I actually had my dental hygenist ask if I was marrying a kid...like peter pan. Seriously?? I usually try to explain it in a bit more detail, mostly because they think we are getting married in front of the castle. Someone at work told me, Did you know you can rent the actual princess costumes...ya, um no you can't. I don't spend to much time explaining it...I figure once they see the pictures, it will shut them up!!

 

[crystalllize]

My DF and I were concerned about this too, since his entire family has never been to Disney. Luckily, they were very excited and most reaction has been positive.

We had a few funny looks and comments from friends, but we decided that this was our wedding and we were going to do what made *us* happy, and not anyone else!

 

[wdwbride2005]

I am sorry you have had to deal with some of those comments.

It is hard to hear, but I would do what others said. Gauge the person and if you think they're going to be rude about it, just say destination wedding in Florida.

For all the rude comments you hear, there are so many others who know that a Disney wedding is amazing. And YOU will know after your wedding that you made the best choice for you and your husband. Our guests still rave about it and say how it was the best wedding ever, and that was from people who made fun of it beforehand.

 

[TiffJ]

I agree that it would cost us as much or more to have a "ho hum" wedding locally that I have no interest in planning. Disney is my special happy place and every time I think about walking down the aisle there I get teary eyed. Everyone who knows me, knows how much I loved it there & most were not surprised. And yes, some of our friends can't come but we are having it video taped so they will be able to see it. In the end it is what is right for us.

 

[2010_Bride]

I'm sorry to hear that you have so many negative comments that you had to start a post

I found it VERY helpful to tell people about my Disney wedding, and basically in the same sentence mention that it's not right in the park with the rides but outside the park where all the beautiful hotels are. That semed to shut some people up. I still got some comments about the characters - but as I'm not having any I was able to laugh it off with them (but if I was having a larger wedding I would totally have Mickey/Minnie at the reception!).

 

[ChocoKat]

I am sorry about the comments you received Carly, but it comes from stereotyping and not knowing what they are talking about.

There are a lot of Disney haters out there too that think liking anything Disney makes them look childish or uncool.

I am inviting several of my design colleagues to our Disney VR and we have had get togethers there before, we all live in Florida and have attended conferences in Disney so we know that Disney can pull very professional incredibly well put events without a hint of the Mouse if need be.

Most of us love going to Disney world because the design elements in the place itself are to die for, it is great for inspiration, plus a ton of fun, we follow what their marketing and design teams do because normally they are someone to keep an eye on because they are so good at what they do.

When I started letting everybody know about our VR in Disney World most people came back with: "YAY!!!" because they have seen the photos I bring back and I have told them of my trips. I had some say:

"Is Mickey Mouse gonna be there?" I just answered: "Why? You want him to?"


The other question is:
"Are you getting married in the castle?" My answer: "Oh my no no, that would mean waking up at the crack of dawn and lord knows not everybody is a morning person, plus the whole turning the mice into horses and the pumpkin into a carriage seems a lot of hassle to me at that hour, don't you think?"

They normally just stare at me and start laughing. But some people do ask about the castle because they think it would be cool, in which case I just tell them it just wouldn't fit our style nor budget.

Then I explain to them it will be a very formal affair with a ceremony in a beautiful wedding pavilion and that we will have a very elegant reception with great food and dancing, plus we can all hang out at the parks and have tons of fun together before it all.

So far so good, but I have it very easy, all my in-laws live in or have been to FL and have been to Disney, most of my friends have been to Disney at least 2 times... some go every weekend , my family has ALWAYS wanted to go, and if a stranger has something to say, really they can come to me after it is all said and done and I have beautiful photos to show and this will be their expression:

Just take it in stride and remember the amazing memories you have of that day, if they don't get it, you just tell them.

"It is one of those things... you just had to be there "

 

[JandJ]

We didn't get too many nay-sayers. When we talk about it now (4+ years later) we sometimes get a raised eyebrow or two, but when we tell them how intimate and elegant our wedding was, and/or show them pictures, they get it and are in awe.

I don't know, I guess it's just me, but if people don't get it, I don't really care