How old would you consider to be too old for siblings (opposite sex) to share a bed?

[JennaDeeDooDah]

To be honest, even at their ages I wouldn't see an issue with them sharing a bed. In a normal brother and sister relationship there wouldn't be anything going on other than sleeping. There aren't really many examples as to why they could be sharing a bed, but I'm sure there are some innocent ones out there. You know they had a party at their house, and they both just passed out. Or they are on vacation and they cant afford an extra room. Or they have a house full of guests and grandma needs her bed, and all the other beds and couches are being used. I would think its a little odd, but I wouldn't think of it as gross.
However since the sister said its because she is scared and lonely I find their situation downright disturbing.

To clear up, I don't know what happens during parties and such, but they will do this on a regular day. Some random Tuesday, the daughter will go to the brother's room to have him sleep in her room, or she will just climb into bed with him. I first found out about this because they were on vacation. The family owns a house up at a lake. It is a 5 bedroom house. They will share a bed up at this house while 1 or 2 bedrooms sits empty. There was also a time that the girl decided to get a hotel while on this vacation (sometimes she has issues with the family and says she wants to be able to get away) but stayed one night in a bed at the house with her brother (there was a spare bed) and another night that she had her brother go to her hotel. I mentioned that I had never heard of adult siblings doing this and was told that it happens all the time between them, that other siblings (meaning siblings in other families) do it, and that if I thought it was all that odd, I was being a prude.

Is that family from another country or culture? I know a couple Spanish/Hispanic families where there of about 6 - 8 people in each family that all live in one room/studio apartments.

I can't imagine it. I have problems needing space from my cat sometimes. But, for them it's normal. I don't think there are 6 beds in one room. There'd be no place to walk. Unless they got triple bunk beds. So I figure many of them share the same bed(s).

The family is very much American.

 

[luvmy3]

To clear up, I don't know what happens during parties and such, but they will do this on a regular day. Some random Tuesday, the daughter will go to the brother's room to have him sleep in her room, or she will just climb into bed with him. I first found out about this because they were on vacation. The family owns a house up at a lake. It is a 5 bedroom house. They will share a bed up at this house while 1 or 2 bedrooms sits empty. There was also a time that the girl decided to get a hotel while on this vacation (sometimes she has issues with the family and says she wants to be able to get away) but stayed one night in a bed at the house with her brother (there was a spare bed) and another night that she had her brother go to her hotel. I mentioned that I had never heard of adult siblings doing this and was told that it happens all the time between them, that other siblings (meaning siblings in other families) do it, and that if I thought it was all that odd, I was being a prude.

I used those situations as a way to point out that maybe on some occasions it wouldn't be unusual (or weird, or or gross, etc). I don't think that adult siblings do this kind of thing very often, but I'm sure under certain circumstances it does happen.
It sounds like the siblings you are talking about do this all the time, and that just doesn't seem right or normal (in the sense that everyone is doing it).

 

[DeniseinNS]

When we vacation my almost 11 year old daughter shares a bed with me and my 7 year old son with my husband. However, for years we have had sleepover night for the kids on fridays where they sleep on a huge airmattress in our bedroom and they share. I only see this lasting maybe another year though.

 

[Mkrop]

Vaction with limited space...not that strange.

Holidays where you have visitors and not enough beds...not that strange although I think I would have grabbed a sleeping bag and the floor first.

Other times when there are other beds available...very strange!!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

To clear up, I don't know what happens during parties and such, but they will do this on a regular day. Some random Tuesday, the daughter will go to the brother's room to have him sleep in her room, or she will just climb into bed with him. I first found out about this because they were on vacation. The family owns a house up at a lake. It is a 5 bedroom house. They will share a bed up at this house while 1 or 2 bedrooms sits empty. There was also a time that the girl decided to get a hotel while on this vacation (sometimes she has issues with the family and says she wants to be able to get away) but stayed one night in a bed at the house with her brother (there was a spare bed) and another night that she had her brother go to her hotel. I mentioned that I had never heard of adult siblings doing this and was told that it happens all the time between them, that other siblings (meaning siblings in other families) do it, and that if I thought it was all that odd, I was being a prude.

The family is very much American.

This is very odd behavior.

 

[FireDancer]

I am not following.......

The situation in the OP is all kinds of wrong on a whole lot of levels but the jump to the assumption that there is an incestual relationship going on is just odd. It is kind of creepy that anyone would make that leap unless there was some sort of supporting information which so far hasn't been provided.

I assume it was in relation to Minkydog's post wondering about when the girl would become pregnant.

Yes, that is the post I found strange and quite a leap.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I dont have a brother, only a sister, so I dont cant relate to a brother-sister relationship, but I honestly dont find that creepy at all. I guess im the only one on these boards with that point of view? Lol.

I can see why others find it odd. But I wouldnt think twice about it. They must be very close, and they comfort eachother when theyre going thru a hard time. Thats all.

 

[Princess Dolly]

To clear up, I don't know what happens during parties and such, but they will do this on a regular day. Some random Tuesday, the daughter will go to the brother's room to have him sleep in her room, or she will just climb into bed with him. I first found out about this because they were on vacation. The family owns a house up at a lake. It is a 5 bedroom house. They will share a bed up at this house while 1 or 2 bedrooms sits empty. There was also a time that the girl decided to get a hotel while on this vacation (sometimes she has issues with the family and says she wants to be able to get away) but stayed one night in a bed at the house with her brother (there was a spare bed) and another night that she had her brother go to her hotel. I mentioned that I had never heard of adult siblings doing this and was told that it happens all the time between them, that other siblings (meaning siblings in other families) do it, and that if I thought it was all that odd, I was being a prude.

The family is very much American.

I dont have a brother, only a sister, so I dont cant relate to a brother-sister relationship, but I honestly dont find that creepy at all. I guess im the only one on these boards with that point of view? Lol.

I can see why others find it odd. But I wouldnt think twice about it. They must be very close, and they comfort eachother when theyre going thru a hard time. Thats all.

You don't find the above bolded odd at all? The fact that she is seeking this kind of comfort from her brother is also strange. Siblings can be close and be supporting of each other, but they don't need to sleep in the same bed for this.

 

[goofyintoronto]

You don't find the above bolded odd at all? The fact that she is seeking this kind of comfort from her brother is also strange. Siblings can be close and be supporting of each other, but they don't need to sleep in the same bed for this.

Nope. Dont find it the least bit weird. Theyre siblings! Some siblings are closer than others. MAYBE if I had a brother, i'd be creeped out. LOL! But I dont.

 

[JoyaDelMar]

I agree that the situation the OP presented is a bit of a red flag (especially the part about neglecting the open bed on vacation and inviting her brother to her hotel room - which I also find slightly odd that they pay for a hotel considering their age and presumed income).

That being said, I'm very close with my brother (I'm 26, he's 23) and I don't think we'd hesitate to share a bed if needed on a trip. Now we usually figure out separate arrangements or grab a pull out bed or something but it wouldn't be weird if we had to.

We also would occasionally have pow-wows or watch Christmas movies together in our beds when I used to come home for Christmas. But that was just the two of us sitting on the bed, maybe with a blanket each or something chatting. And we were only in one of our bedrooms because it was the only space we could chat privately without my parents being around (things like their gifts or our anxieties about school - nothing creepy or inappropriate).

I guess I don't see anything wrong with having a close friendship with a sibling of the opposite sex. But there's always a line.

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[punkin]

Nope. Dont find it the least bit weird. Theyre siblings! Some siblings are closer than others. MAYBE if I had a brother, i'd be creeped out. LOL! But I dont.

I agree with this. I have no brothers and shared a bed with my sister on many occasions as an adult. I think it is weird to immediately sexualize this.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I agree with this. I have no brothers and shared a bed with my sister on many occasions as an adult. I think it is weird to immediately sexualize this.

No kidding!! Totally agree.

 

[JessicaR]

Nope. Dont find it the least bit weird. Theyre siblings! Some siblings are closer than others. MAYBE if I had a brother, i'd be creeped out. LOL! But I dont.

I agree with this. I have no brothers and shared a bed with my sister on many occasions as an adult. I think it is weird to immediately sexualize this.

I only have sisters and feel the same way you both do. I guess if we had a brother we may feel differently. My sisters and I shared a bed on and off when we were little. As adults we have too when doing sister trips.

However, the whole needy, lonely, scared mentality makes it obvious the sister has issues. I just don't assume it is sexual.

 

[luvmy3]

You don't find the above bolded odd at all? The fact that she is seeking this kind of comfort from her brother is also strange. Siblings can be close and be supporting of each other, but they don't need to sleep in the same bed for this.

That is what strikes me as strange. I get that siblings can be close, and from time to time need eachother. I could even see a sister needing her brother because she is scared and lonely after a particular event (break-up with long term boyfriend, break in at her house, etc) but from what the OP says this is something that happens alot. I don't think its healthy for any adult to need their sibling that way often. It wouldn't matter if it was 2 sisters either. I'm not sexualizing their relationship but I find the level of dependency disturbing.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I never had a brother, so it is fair to say that I don't really understand the relationship between a brother and a sister. I know a family who has a son and a daughter. She is 22 and he is 19. They still share a bed quite often. By quite often, I mean anytime that they are on vacation together and occasionally at home if she is feeling in her words "scared or lonely". Now personally, I thought that was a little odd, but they said that it is perfectly normal, that I don't understand the relationship between a brother and sister, and that I am being prudish by thinking it is inappropriate. Now, I know that parents often have their son and daughter share a bed on vacation when they are kids, but is it common for adults to do this, as well?

If I am paying and cannot afford seperate sleeping areas, yea.

I think the odd part of the story is the "scared and lonely" at home when someone is 22. Something is up there.

My dd's are 21 and 16 and only share if they have to, like there is no other option.

 

[punkin]

I only have sisters and feel the same way you both do. I guess if we had a brother we may feel differently. My sisters and I shared a bed on and off when we were little. As adults we have too when doing sister trips.

However, the whole needy, lonely, scared mentality makes it obvious the sister has issues. I just don't assume it is sexual.

If I am paying and cannot afford seperate sleeping areas, yea.

I think the odd part of the story is the "scared and lonely" at home when someone is 22. Something is up there.

My dd's are 21 and 16 and only share if they have to, like there is no other option.

Yes, I would agree with this. I do feel like there may be something unsettling going on in that household if this is a normal everyday occurrence. I would see no issues whatsoever if she only climbs into his bed on the rare occasions when she happens to be "scared and lonely" (and we all feel that way sometimes).

 

[BlovesC]

The 'sister' in the OP's scenario just makes me think of Carrie Mulligan's character in Shame.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes, I would agree with this. I do feel like there may be something unsettling going on in that household if this is a normal everyday occurrence. I would see no issues whatsoever if she only climbs into his bed on the rare occasions when she happens to be "scared and lonely" (and we all feel that way sometimes).

Agree.

 

[sam_gordon]

I cannot find the right words to post how creepy this is- gives me the shivers and not in a good way.

There's a good way to get the shivers?

 

[Disney Doll]

I have an older brother.
We have a good sibling relationship.
In an unusual, rare circumstance (see others' examples) would sharing a bed be "weird"...probably not.

For siblings that age to choose to share a bed when there are other sleeping arrangements available is odd. I'm not talking about sitting on a bed chatting, I'm not talking about laying on a bed watching TV for a couple of hours. I am talking about choosing to spend the night in the same bed with yor opposite-sex sibling when it is not necessary because she is "afraid".

Frankly a 20-something year old woman who is so afraid on what sounds like a fairly regular basis that she needs to sleep with her brother is an issue in and of itself.