Honest dining opinion please.

[princessmom29]

My family is Quiet and polite.
And we quite enjoy the FAMILY cruise concept. We don't mind sharing space.
My kids use their inside voice at the table (although, in these dining rooms it is not always loud enough)
They sit up, no crawling around on the floors, slouching.
They keep their hands and feet to themselves.
They keep their napkin to themselves.
They chew with their mouths closed.(usually)
They do not throw things across the table.
They do not bother other folks at other tables.
They do not play with toys,games,movies or crayons while we EAT.

These are the manners we enforce in the Dining rooms, these are the things that make us neighborly.

that is not what you said in the post that was being responded to. You essentially said that if you paid for the vacation you are entitiled to act however you saw fit. This post is the complete opposite.

 

[princessmom29]

I don't see the correlation here at all. I have a child with a diary allergy. Whether or not people at the next table are drinking milk is irrelevant to her, so my meal wouldn't be more relaxed at all. If people at the next table are watching a DVD, and therefore their kids are quiet, my meal is that much more enjoyable than if the kids at that table were screaming. That is IF I even notice anything about people at the next table, which would be very, very rare for me.

I can't figure out why on earth this would bother anyone. If you don't want your kids watching DVDs, don't bring one to the table. Simple as that. How does it affect you if anyone else has a portable DVD player? Like I said, I have never brought my own to a meal, BUT, have been given some at restaurants before. If the restaurant management felt they were appropriate, at an upscale restaurant, then surely they must not feel that they are ruining other people's meals. Just don't look at that table! Focus on your own family and your own meal and life will go on.

That is a problem if you are sitting with at a table with another family. What you do effects them. My DH and DD are contact allergic to shelfish. I am considering asking for a private table because if a child with shrimp on thier hands touches DD, we could be in seriuos trouble. I could see a DVD player at the table being a problem when a child is distracted to the point that they won't eat. It really is a moot point however, because they are prohibited on DCL.

 

[5lilfish]

What I am confused about is why some people are so anti DVD players, but don't care about coloring books, toys, regular books, etc. Those kids aren't interacting anymore than the kids with the DVD players. My daughter often brings books to restaurants with us and sits there reading the whole meal. How is that any better than if she were watching a movie?

I will add, I am not a huge fan of her reading through meals honestly, and we don't allow it at home, but in a restaurant we do. With 3 kids, having 1 reading cuts way, way back on noise. If my oldest is reading, our 2nd is generally much better behaved and will sit nicely and color, and that frees us up to entertain the miniature grouch who likes to screech her way through meals if not constantly amused and fed.

There are a few differences. #1) Unless your daughter is reading outloud, nobody is going to hear her read. #2) My kids do interact while coloring the children's menu. There are Disney based games and puzzles on the menu (word seach, word scramble, etc). We can do the puzzles together. Even with my 3 yr old twins, we often sit there and color the sheets together...although the kids often keep each other entertained.

I'm not offended by the idea of using an electronic device. My spectrum child usually has something with him..but he must put it down, and look at the server to place his order and he is supposed to put it down when the food comes. My 4 'typical' kids do not use electronic devices when we eat. I would not love to sit next to someone watching TV through the meal, but that is not likely to be a problem. My family has 7 people and we often travel with others. We fill our own table. As a personal opinion (which I believe was what the OP asked for), I would not start off using a DVD player to entertain a child. I might have one as an absolute last resort, but it definitely would not be something I would want to start encouraging.

Jess

 

[JACH1976]

One point- I thought someone in a previous thread had clarified that portable DVD players (which use batteries) are fine, but that full-sized DVD players (which would be plugged into the TVs in the room) were prohibited. I understand this is because the connections on the room TVs are incompatible with your average DVD player. (Doesn't effect us, we prefer the iPod/iPad- more compact!)

I could be wrong, but I guess the thing to do would be to clarify with DCL.

 

[lexlaw69]

Talk about snobery! I could really care less what anyone "thinks" of what I choose to do as a parent. If I choose to bring an ipad, dvd player, coloring book, etc. to the table to entertain my kids then so be it (of course it should not be noisy). If you get all hot and bothered by this (on a cruise that is geared to children - i.e.- the giant mouse) then maybe you belong on a different cruise line that caters to people of your "breeding" and "societal place".

As far as my kid having something and it being a potential distraction to your kid that is your problem. You could say the same thing about a toy, shirt, piece of jewelery-- it is endless and part of life. If my kid wants the barbie doll your kid brings to the table should I get up in a huff and leave or be offended - NO???

By the way - on our last DCL cruise a great deal of the dining room had players, ipads, coloring books, etc. It is a great way to be able to enjoy dinner for myself and those seated around me. I have been dismayed at those parents of special needs kids making excuses as to why these devices are life savers. You don't need to tell these buffoons why you are using an ipad or DVD player. There isn't a need to draw a distinction between a special needs child and any other child.

Also, drawing a distinction between a coloring book and a player of some kind is nonsense - it is just technologies from different eras. By saying one is OK and the other is not you are showing your technological obsolesence and illiteracy.

Last, I respect your right to make a decision to leave the table because you don't like my ipad. If you do it like an ***** though we'll have words.

 

[ccgirl]

Talk about snobery! I could really care less what anyone "thinks" of what I choose to do as a parent. If I choose to bring an ipad, dvd player, coloring book, etc. to the table to entertain my kids then so be it (of course it should not be noisy). If you get all hot and bothered by this (on a cruise that is geared to children - i.e.- the giant mouse) then maybe you belong on a different cruise line that caters to people of your "breeding" and "societal place".

As far as my kid having something and it being a potential distraction to your kid that is your problem. You could say the same thing about a toy, shirt, piece of jewelery-- it is endless and part of life. If my kid wants the barbie doll your kid brings to the table should I get up in a huff and leave or be offended - NO???

By the way - on our last DCL cruise a great deal of the dining room had players, ipads, coloring books, etc. It is a great way to be able to enjoy dinner for myself and those seated around me. I have been dismayed at those parents of special needs kids making excuses as to why these devices are life savers. You don't need to tell these buffoons why you are using an ipad or DVD player. There isn't a need to draw a distinction between a special needs child and any other child.

Also, drawing a distinction between a coloring book and a player of some kind is nonsense - it is just technologies from different eras. By saying one is OK and the other is not you are showing your technological obsolesence and illiteracy.

Last, I respect your right to make a decision to leave the table because you don't like my ipad. If you do it like an ***** though we'll have words.

Hi..pot..kettle...black. I believe you were the one using words like breeding, societal place, buffoons, a hole. During dinner, my children are to actually converse with us. They may color, we actually color together, while waiting for food. They cannot read to themselves. They cannot color once the food arrives. We use this as family time. I am not showing my technological obsolesence or illiteracy, I am simply insisting on social interaction and table manners but I guess that makes me a buffoon.

BTW, I was not judging others that made other choices, I simply said if it was a distraction to my family I would request a table move. Never said anything about having words with anyone. I realize this is everyone's vacation.

 

[Queen of Oakville]

Wow, I had a feeling yesterday that this thread would get out of hand, and quite honestly, i'm surprised already that it hasn't been locked down.

I'm so surprised by many of these posts, and what people consider to be acceptable social behaviour.

My children know how to behave in a restaurant because I've taught them how. That is not meant as a judgement call on anyone.

Yes, its hard being a parent, and some parents have harder struggles than others. Still, I'm just amazed at those who have the my money, my vacation, my rules view on this.

You all have me questioning what mayhem we'll encounter in the MDR. Perhaps DCL isn't the cruiseline for us.

 

[Mrsjvb]

Wow, that's quite the opinion. Our son has autism, and having his iPod (with headphones) at the table is what enables us to take him out to restaurants. He doesn't use it at home, but in a busy, crowded, loud dining room it lets him keep his sanity. We would far prefer to sit by ourselves (and have requested it), but I would also prefer that others sitting around us not be so quick to judge without understanding the situation.

I have a non verbal autistic nephew. I am fully aware of the special needs/constraints and issues such children entail. doesn't mean I am willing to be subjected to having to endure close proximity not by choice.

and yes my SiL and her husband and 3 non special needs kids have missed out on a LOT because Billy is autisitic. they've never been able to go to Disney, or take anything vaguely resembling a family vacation outside of visiting family. Because Billy can't handle it and they are not willing or comfortable with subjecting others to Billy's Meltdowns rare though they are.

I am not saying anyone in your situation doesn't desreve the opportunity. but I AM saying that those of us who do not choose to be subjected to such circumstances are entitled to not only feel uncomfortable but are allwoed to do something about that without it becoming a personal insult to your sensabilities.

I say again, if I were subjected to the scenario as originally described, I personally would leave, period. I have just as much a right to enjoy my dinner experience in a matter that I wish as you do to enjoy it your way.

 

[lexlaw69]

the point is that this is a cruise geared to children and families - if you are expecting something different then maybe a different cruise line is for you. Some kids get blankets, others crayons and still other ipads and dvd players to entertain and comfort. If that's not part of your family culture then by all means find a different table or cruiseline.

I'm really happy that you have rules for your kids and that they sit up straight and don't speak unless spoken to but that is not how all families operate nor is it a guarantee for success. I also have rules for my kids that vary from authoritarian to hippie but its not your place to tell me whether or not to bring an ipad to dinner and it especially is not your place to judge whether it is good parenting - you have no idea (just look at how your judgments have negatively effected the parents of special needs kids on this post - shame!)

Again, to all you parents out there with special needs kids you don't need to explain "why" to these folks. The ipad has been a revolutionary tool for autistics and many other kids.

Last, tell me again what the difference would be if my kid is using the ipad to draw pictures instead of using crayons? But crayons OK and ipad not OK?

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

the point is that this is a cruise geared to children and families - if you are expecting something different then maybe a different cruise line is for you. Some kids get blankets, others crayons and still other ipads and dvd players to entertain and comfort. If that's not part of your family culture then by all means find a different table or cruiseline.

I'm really happy that you have rules for your kids and that they sit up straight and don't speak unless spoken to but that is not how all families operate nor is it a guarantee for success. I also have rules for my kids that vary from authoritarian to hippie but its not your place to tell me whether or not to bring an ipad to dinner and it especially is not your place to judge whether it is good parenting - you have no idea (just look at how your judgments have negatively effected the parents of special needs kids on this post - shame!)

Again, to all you parents out there with special needs kids you don't need to explain "why" to these folks. The ipad has been a revolutionary tool for autistics and many other kids.

Last, tell me again what the difference would be if my kid is using the ipad to draw pictures instead of using crayons? But crayons OK and ipad not OK?

I am also surprised this thread has not been shut down yet. It obviously is a touchy subject. The poster I quoted says "it is not your place to tell me whether or not to bring an ipad to dinner." No one is telling YOU anything. We are all answering the OP. She asked if it was rude and some said yes and others said no. The OP did not indicate that her child had special needs, so why is that even brought up here? That is clearly a completely different situation. Why can't posters simply answer the OP without stooping to insults and crass language? Have a nice day...DVD or not!!!!!

 

[ccgirl]

the point is that this is a cruise geared to children and families - if you are expecting something different then maybe a different cruise line is for you. Some kids get blankets, others crayons and still other ipads and dvd players to entertain and comfort. If that's not part of your family culture then by all means find a different table or cruiseline.

I'm really happy that you have rules for your kids and that they sit up straight and don't speak unless spoken to but that is not how all families operate nor is it a guarantee for success. I also have rules for my kids that vary from authoritarian to hippie but its not your place to tell me whether or not to bring an ipad to dinner and it especially is not your place to judge whether it is good parenting - you have no idea (just look at how your judgments have negatively effected the parents of special needs kids on this post - shame!)

Again, to all you parents out there with special needs kids you don't need to explain "why" to these folks. The ipad has been a revolutionary tool for autistics and many other kids.

Last, tell me again what the difference would be if my kid is using the ipad to draw pictures instead of using crayons? But crayons OK and ipad not OK?

All cruises are geared toward adults and families unless it is an adults only cruise. Only one poster resorted to name calling. Why you are assuming that others don't have special needs kids is an assumption as well. As others have said, the OP asked for an opinion and opinions were given. To attack others people's opinions is wrong. People have as much right to be moved from a table as others that bring their electronic devices. I think the difference between coloring and Toy Story 3 (or whateve the movie is) is that movies are a lot more distracting than a child coloring silently. There is also a big difference between watching a movie etc. with headphones and without. My niece is autistic and cannot use headphones. My SiL has had to leave many restaurants when my niece has a meltdown because she refuses to bring the DVD and have other people hear that too. It's all personal preference. A person has as much right to watch a DVD player as I do in asking to move seats if there is something that makes me feel uncomfortable. If someone were continually using inappropriate language I would be asked to be moved. If parents want to let their children use that kind of language that is their right but it is also my right not to subject my family to things that I object to. Everyone has a right to their own opinions and to stoop to namecalling is not nice.

 

[5forDis]

I don't see the correlation here at all. I have a child with a diary allergy. Whether or not people at the next table are drinking milk is irrelevant to her, so my meal wouldn't be more relaxed at all.

Well, since my child's peanut/nut allergies are aerosol & contact reactive (i.e. airborne and touch) it is completely relevant to how relaxed my meal is. Absolutely. If a child is eating a PB&J right near her, then we have to move her. It is what it is & I don't think others are 'rude' for going about their 'normal lives'. If you don't live with this on a daily basis then you don't quite understand the vigilance required. Also, we would be much more relaxed if the entire ship was free of peanuts/tree nuts, but clearly we don't expect it. I was asking a pointed question since ADA law was mentioned...life threatening food allergies are also considered a disability. My child looks 'normal' and you wouldn't know there is anything wrong with her...it doesn't give us the right to impact the rest of the diners. We adjust or we choose another vacation experience. There are many vacations we have opted not to do because of my daughter's allergies. We're still not sure about a Disney Cruise given what we've read here about some dining confusion, wait staff mistakes.

I think everyone here has stated our opinions. There is no 'right' or 'wrong'...I happen to choose not to allow my children to use electronic devices during meals, but that pertains only to my family. I wouldn't leave a table if someone had an IPad or DVD player. I do know I'd have to answer my kids' questions about why someone would bring such a thing to dinner. That is the benefit of leaving one's house: you get to experience different ways of doing things.

It is unfortunate that someone labeled many of the people in this thread as not having compassion. It didn't sound that way to me. Most people answered the question about a typical toddler (OP) at dinner in the dining room. Nothing more.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

MY vacation IS all all about ME (and MY family) We spend OUR money on it. Now if you want to pay for my vacation, I will act however you see fit.

Judgemental/rude folks like you are the ones that make these threads just painful to read sometimes.

These are NOT regular dining rooms people. They are HUGE, and LOUD, and BUSY.(They are NOT lilke any dining room I have every exposed my children too). It gets hard for me to sit still after awhile as well, it is very easy to get impatient-it is just part of life. If my quiet well behaved child offends you because he/she is looking at a video game or movie then WE are not the ones with the issues, and just be an adult and TELL US. Because they have one thing to focus on my kids are good while waiting for their food in an already OVERLY stimulated situation(no, they are not disabled, but they are kids, and kids can get overwhelmed)...They are not missing out any any fantastical Disney or other learning experiences by playing a game or watching a little video-no more than they would be if they where coloring (which they do as well at the table)Not everyone asks to sit with others. I do not go on cruises to spend time with other families, or impress them with my parenting skills. I am there to enjoy time with MY family, apparently so folks like you can pass judgement on those of us that are not perfect.

Enjoy your next cruise.

 

[MommaMouse411]

oh geez I'm scared of some of ya'll...

OP, It wouldn't bother me one bit...I think its a great idea...I'm pretty sure though that the dvd player will be taken out as a last resort? not like right when you sit a dinner? My kids slept during dinner (except the first night)...and I put them in the nursery one time during dinner....I've been taking my kids out to dinner since I was allowed to take them out the house after birth lol..but I think dining with your children is so wonderful and I do it alone with them all the time..so I am always engaging my kids during dinner...however there has been many times were my kid just doesn't want to behave. THat's just how the cookie crumbles...for me toys and coloring books only work for a few minutes...so I end up letting him take pictures with my camera since he always sees me taking pictures of everything..

I think you said child was 3..you could also feed them and then take them to the Oceaneers club...

on our first DCL Cruise, on the first night my son was standing on his chair the whole time during dinner, and so excited (2 1/2 yr old) and he grabbed my camera and took pictures of everything.

but I also requested a table by ourselves. and that waas granted.

 

[AC & Savy's Mom]

To the OP:

My DS went on his first cruise when he was 14 months, and my DD went when she was 2y3m, so I have experience cruising with toddlers. We didn't bring the DVD player to the dining room, mainly because it wasn't something we wanted them to get used to during meal time or in restaurants. I understand that vacations can be considered a special time to do things out of the ordinary, but try to consider whether or not it's something you'd want them expecting even when you aren't on vacation. Kids at that age can get used to things quickly, and you might end up with a fight about it when you get home.

I'd say to try it the first night or two without the DVD player, and see how it goes. You might be surprised to know that your child doesn't need or want it, and is able to enjoy socializing and meeting new people enough to keep his interest and attention. If that doesn't work, then you can always bring it out with headphones after that.

My advice is how I would do it, if I was in your shoes. Totally my opinion, so do with it what you will. Have fun on your cruise!

 

[liberty6201]

Bravo. I'm usually resigned towards the ignorance from people who don't "get it", but some of the posts on this thread have appalled me. Thinking of how hard we special-needs parents work to be sensitive to the comfort of those around us (such as bringing a distraction device so our kids won't stim or yell at the table and upset fellow diners), and then finding that that all we will get for our trouble are nasty looks and being told that we should take our kids away from "the normal people" has made me want to roll a 42 inch television into the dining room, along with a pair of speakers and REALLY hope I get seated next to one of these people.

But.... I'd rather just thank the all the awesome posters who said they wouldn't judge any family who did what they needed to for their child, especially knowing that you can't always recognize a special-needs kid!

To those posters, I have a feeling that YOUR children are the TRULY well-behaved, because they are learning compassion and kindness for their fellow human beings from you, rather than that all-important skill of how to hold out their pinky while sipping tea!

As a teacher of autistic kids i'd rather we were in a situation where it wouldn't matter if your kids did stim, shriek etc. and you didn't feel the need to bring a DVD player to the table and that people accepted your kids for what they are. By that i don't mean that you shouldn't bring an DVD player or Ipod, etc.) - I know that that is sometimes / often necessary but what i mean is that i wish that this didn't have to be done for other people. i know it is easier and makes life nicer for your child but if that wasn't the case there would still be people that think you should bring it because it makes life easier for THEM. I hate that - this is not directed at people on here or people on cruises in general but the world we live in does make people uncomfortable if others don't react the same way as them. the people with the truly great kids are the ones who teach them that yes other kids might yell and shriek, they might stim, they might not look at you and respond if you talk to them but they are human beings too and deserve to be treated as such - i know that is off topic i am just so humbled by the kids who treat 'my' kids (as in the kids i teach) with respect and kindness, regardless of how they are acting and am totally in awe of the parenting they are receiving
Reading thsi back it didn't really come across as i meant it too - i'm certainly not having a go at anyone, i do think that your vacation is your time and you need to do what you need to do but i also think you need to think about the other people on the boat and know that it is their vacation too and they have paid just as much money to be on there - it doesn't make either party better than the other, FWIW my kids don't bring electronic devices to the table but we do have a bag of stuff we take so they are not distracting others, does that make us any better than anyone else? No, that's just what we choose to do. Sometimes the bag is not even opened we are way too busy chatting and sometimes everyone (parents included) are way too tired and cranky and the bag is a godsend - i love the person who buys the McDonalds type toys and brings one out each day - my kids would love that! Others may find that offensive If i was offending someone then i wouldn't mind if they asked to be moved - as i said it is their vacation too - and i wouldn't be offended by that. I hope that on a cruise i (and my family) are sensitive to other families but who knows what others find offensive? Whilst i don't like the idea of a DVD player at dinner that is my rules for my family - i would be far more upset by a family swearing at the table and this would be my number one reason to be asked to be moved.
Sorry for the long and garbled reply
xxx
Hope everyone has a great vacation

 

[carmie3377]

There was a table next to us on the PC cruise with a toddler approx 2 YO. It was just her family of 3. They brought a DVD player in a few nights and it did distract my kids a little "Oh, look there, it's Spongebob!" That sort of thing. Anyway, we just told our kids to not pay attention and they went back to their coloring or conversations with us. Therefore, we didn't think too much of it. However, had it been a big distraction to our kids, I'm sure I would have been disappointed.

 

[justhat]

Well, since my child's peanut/nut allergies are aerosol & contact reactive (i.e. airborne and touch) it is completely relevant to how relaxed my meal is. Absolutely. If a child is eating a PB&J right near her, then we have to move her. It is what it is & I don't think others are 'rude' for going about their 'normal lives'. If you don't live with this on a daily basis then you don't quite understand the vigilance required. Also, we would be much more relaxed if the entire ship was free of peanuts/tree nuts, but clearly we don't expect it. I was asking a pointed question since ADA law was mentioned...life threatening food allergies are also considered a disability. My child looks 'normal' and you wouldn't know there is anything wrong with her...it doesn't give us the right to impact the rest of the diners. We adjust or we choose another vacation experience. There are many vacations we have opted not to do because of my daughter's allergies. We're still not sure about a Disney Cruise given what we've read here about some dining confusion, wait staff mistakes.

I think everyone here has stated our opinions. There is no 'right' or 'wrong'...I happen to choose not to allow my children to use electronic devices during meals, but that pertains only to my family. I wouldn't leave a table if someone had an IPad or DVD player. I do know I'd have to answer my kids' questions about why someone would bring such a thing to dinner. That is the benefit of leaving one's house: you get to experience different ways of doing things.

It is unfortunate that someone labeled many of the people in this thread as not having compassion. It didn't sound that way to me. Most people answered the question about a typical toddler (OP) at dinner in the dining room. Nothing more.

Fine, so it's an airborne allergy. The difference is you would be asking everyone else to give up something they enjoy. A kid with a DVD player isn't making anyone else give anything up. Nothing. You can choose to look away if you don't like the DVD player.

Regarding DCL and allergies, they were very, very attentive to the dairy allergy. Almost too much in some respects. Everything was super plain so as not to risk the dairy. And that's fine, better safe than sorry, but it was bland!

 

[justhat]

That is a problem if you are sitting with at a table with another family. What you do effects them. My DH and DD are contact allergic to shelfish. I am considering asking for a private table because if a child with shrimp on thier hands touches DD, we could be in seriuos trouble. I could see a DVD player at the table being a problem when a child is distracted to the point that they won't eat. It really is a moot point however, because they are prohibited on DCL.

Touching you with fish is quite a bit different than someone watching a DVD.

There are a few differences. #1) Unless your daughter is reading outloud, nobody is going to hear her read. #2) My kids do interact while coloring the children's menu. There are Disney based games and puzzles on the menu (word seach, word scramble, etc). We can do the puzzles together. Even with my 3 yr old twins, we often sit there and color the sheets together...although the kids often keep each other entertained.

No, nobody will hear her reading, but that may very well be the case with the DVD too. Though honestly, even if my kid reads aloud, is that any different than if she were just talking to someone at my table? Same with the DVD, unless it's so loud that neighboring tables can clearly hear it, what's the problem?

My kids do not interact while doing the coloring sheets. They typically keep to themselves other than to say "Look, I'm finished!"

 

[Kj55]

Just went on Disney Magic with 15month old and 31/2 year old in December. We brought the iPad once to dinning room. It's fine no one can hear it at all over noise in room. No one can see it from next table unless you hold it up. If you are seated with others just ask if they mind. I agree it's great to have well socialized kids with great table manners but my kids are active boys. If I can buy 10 minutes so I can shove some food down I will do what it takes. Trust me if it helps you enjoy your cruise do it. Your children won't be damaged by rare table side movie use.