Honest dining opinion please.

[HowdyHeidi]

"If you think that your child could be keep entertained at the table for that long go for it. If you think she would be unhappy then I would either use the nursery/Oceaneer during dinner or eat as a family somewhere else. It is your family vacation so you wouldn't want to partake in things that would stress you out or make your child unhappy !"[/QUOTE]

Just a foot note: Some children with special needs are not accommodated in the kids' clubs for various reasons.

Personally, I don't like DVD players and I have a "no devices" at the dinner table rule in my house, but I think that to each their own. It wouldn't bother me if someone used one for their child. Most kids aren't big conversationalists anyhow...

 

[AmandaRG]

My hat is off to those parents with differently-abled children. I have some very close friends that have had to be creative with their children and you do what you have to do.

Many people use television to babysit their children. That is your choice, but it can make things uncomfortable for others.

The OP mentioned that friends spoke of it on their cruise, is it something others have seen? It seems that most of the posters thus far see it as uncommon.

Our 3 and 4 year old dds willl be participating in dinner. There were periods of time that they could not control themselves in a restaurant. We simply didn't go out. After a few months, we would try it again. Luckily there haven't been meltdowns in quite some time.

 

[mammacaryn]

Aye, Aye, Aye!! What a way to emphasize the "It's all about me" attitude that is a huge part about with what's wrong in the world these days.... I think you've got it backwards. I'd rather my children commit a dining room ‘no no' while in the privacy of our home, NOT in public, and at the expense of other diner's experience....

Not teaching your children to be 'neighborly' will make them bad neighbors....

MY vacation IS all all about ME (and MY family) We spend OUR money on it. Now if you want to pay for my vacation, I will act however you see fit.

Judgemental/rude folks like you are the ones that make these threads just painful to read sometimes.

These are NOT regular dining rooms people. They are HUGE, and LOUD, and BUSY.(They are NOT lilke any dining room I have every exposed my children too). It gets hard for me to sit still after awhile as well, it is very easy to get impatient-it is just part of life. If my quiet well behaved child offends you because he/she is looking at a video game or movie then WE are not the ones with the issues, and just be an adult and TELL US. Because they have one thing to focus on my kids are good while waiting for their food in an already OVERLY stimulated situation(no, they are not disabled, but they are kids, and kids can get overwhelmed)...They are not missing out any any fantastical Disney or other learning experiences by playing a game or watching a little video-no more than they would be if they where coloring (which they do as well at the table)Not everyone asks to sit with others. I do not go on cruises to spend time with other families, or impress them with my parenting skills. I am there to enjoy time with MY family, apparently so folks like you can pass judgement on those of us that are not perfect.

Enjoy your next cruise.

 

[mammacaryn]

I see what you're saying...to some extent. I mean, i let my kids drink a lot of soda, stay up late, and eat pizza on a cruise. But...What if allowing your children to enjoy themselves, keeps someone else from being able to relax and enjoy themself?

Jess

These are not "relaxing" dining rooms. Like I said above, they are busy and loud---
The screaming kid and the mom and dad loudly, but politely telling the child to be patient, or calm down, or be quiet, would drive me NUTS quicker than a kid I didn't know and didn't hear because they were focused on something else.

 

[KingRichard]

They brought my 3 year old daughters food out very fast and we had plenty of time to drop her off at the clubs if needed. They are very close together and only took 5 minutes.

 

[5forDis]

MY vacation IS all all about ME (and MY family) We spend OUR money on it. Now if you want to pay for my vacation, I will act however you see fit.

The original poster asked opinions, and received them. I'm not sure why that is considered rude. Ranting about me, my money, my vacation...that is rude. If you want it to be only about YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, then perhaps you should charter a private cruise.

I have 3 young children (10, 9, and 5) & would never think it is appropriate to give them an electronic device at a meal. My children behave. There were a few times we had to cut our meal short or step out with one of the children during a long meal...if you have a toddler, you should expect that. Sorry, but that is parenting. I also don't want to listen to kids screaming/tantruming..or worse...parents yelling at their children, which is why parents need to get up with their child and take a break during the meal if the child is melting down. If that is not enough, then perhaps the meal should be eaten elsewhere. Why subject yourself, your kids, and other patrons to the behavior?

I do understand children with sensory issues needing earphones, music to tolerate the dining room, but I still disagree that they NEED to watch a movie during dinner OR PLAY A VIDEO GAME. The original poster was not asking about a child with sensory issues, so you are comparing apples to oranges. A typical toddler will become impatient with a 2 hour meal (if that is truly how long the Dream dinners are taking)...so parents need to anticipate this and make alternative plans.

I have a child with severe food allergies. For all of you who are saying it should be OK if your child sits at the table watching tv (therefore impacting others), would it be OK if the entire dining room stopped serving nuts/peanuts, & some fruits, so that my family could enjoy a more relaxed meal? I doubt there are many that would be willing to make that accommodation in the dining room...or even at our table. I wouldn't call you rude.

 

[mammacaryn]

The original poster asked opinions, and received them. I'm not sure why that is considered rude. Ranting about me, my money, my vacation...that is rude. If you want it to be only about YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, then perhaps you should charter a private cruise.

.

My quote was NOT directed at the OP. It was directed at the person I quoted, hence the reason I quoted him.

HONESTLY, you do not spend YOUR money for YOUR enjoyment? That is just weird.
Chartering a private cruise....really, that is ONE of the DUMBEST things I have read on this board.
Ranting....whatever, I wrote one sentence about enjoying our own vacation that we spend our own money on.

 

[princessmom29]

My quote was NOT directed at the OP. It was directed at the person I quoted, hence the reason I quoted him.
Ranting....whatever.

Sorry, but that is the way I saw it as well. I agree that if your vacation is supposed to be all aout you and your families comfort, to the exclusion of all else then perhaps a private vacation is best. On a cruise ship, in close quarters, I would think consideration for others would be a given.

 

[mammacaryn]

Sorry, but that is the way I saw it as well. I agree that if your vacation is supposed to be all aout you and your families comfort, to the exclusion of all else then perhaps a private vacation is best. On a cruise ship, in close quarters, I would think consideration for others would be a given.

My family is Quiet and polite.
And we quite enjoy the FAMILY cruise concept. We don't mind sharing space.
My kids use their inside voice at the table (although, in these dining rooms it is not always loud enough)
They sit up, no crawling around on the floors, slouching.
They keep their hands and feet to themselves.
They keep their napkin to themselves.
They chew with their mouths closed.(usually)
They do not throw things across the table.
They do not bother other folks at other tables.
They do not play with toys,games,movies or crayons while we EAT.

These are the manners we enforce in the Dining rooms, these are the things that make us neighborly.

 

[5forDis]

My quote was NOT directed at the OP. It was directed at the person I quoted, hence the reason I quoted him.

HONESTLY, you do not spend YOUR money for YOUR enjoyment? That is just weird.
Chartering a private cruise....really, that is ONE of the DUMBEST things I have read on this board.
Ranting....whatever, I wrote one sentence about enjoying our own vacation that we spend our own money on.

Weird & dumb---I can see how it is ALL ABOUT YOU...no, not rude at all.

 

[mammacaryn]

.

 

[GoofTroop]

As a parent of 3 boys ages 17, 10, and 5 all on the spectrum (moderate to high functioning autism), this thread saddens me, and I haven't even read all of the responses.

First, I want to say that I have not used a DVD player for any of my boys in a public dining room. But what if I wanted to? It would definitely keep them calm(er). You'd probably not notice them if I did use one because they'd be so quiet. However, expect to possibly hear a scream or a shreak coming from our table. My older 2 do fairly well, but DS5 still has routine meltdowns due to anxiety and sensory related issues. He may have a rough time our first night in the dining room, but our second time back in same dining room could be a wonderful experience. Should we just resume to not exposing him to cruising or eating in the dining room? Autism is not "seen" by the naked eye. My kids all look "normal". For the most part, you'd probably think my 5 year old is just a brat whose not getting his way. So, how will you know if my kid is special needs or not just by looking at him? Who are you to determine if he's "worthy" of the DVD player or not?

Next time you see a child 'misbehaving' or hear a child screaming please stop and think 'could that child have special needs or sensory issues?'. Please spare a thought for the child who struggles to stay calm and regulated and for the parents who are constantly stared at, judged, and criticized.

It would mean a lot to me and every other parent of a child that is difficult, sensitive, non-compliant, odd, hyper, aggressive, or has some sort of diagnosis for these spirited traits, if you would be slow to judge. What we, as parents of special needs children, need is understanding because we judge ourselves enough for all of you.

To the OP, do what is best for YOU and YOUR child, YOUR family. You know what is best for your kids, and what you need to do to keep them and those around you happy.

I do my best as a parent to keep things in "order" as much as possible. Not only for my family, but those around us. I will do my best to make things enjoyable for those sitting around us, but please...If it means me resorting to methods you may not choose (such as a DVD, ipad, etc), don't judge me. Being the parent of 3 special needs boys, and a neuro-typical teen daughter, I'm just trying to keep my head above water most days as it is. So, if it means dinner with a DVD player so us and you can enjoy your dinner......Let it be. )

Elizabeth

 

[Stinkerbe11]

It was considerate of the OP to even ask the question, most people would do what ever they want, like it or not. If you are sitting at a table by yourselves, I wouldn't worry about it and if you are seated with others, I would ask them if it would bother them or be distracting. I think people have a problem when others act like their family is the only one onboard and do whatever they want without consideration for others.

 

[justhat]

While I have never brought a DVD player to dinner, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, we ate at a few different Ruth's Chris Steak Houses and at each one they brought out their own DVD players for my kids to watch during the meals. Not every location does this, but the Philly, Hawaii, and one of the DC locations provided these. So if they think it's acceptable (and without headphones, we just kept the volume low), then I would think it is totally fine on a Disney cruise.

I am all for anything that keeps kids happy and quiet during dinner, whatever that is.

 

[kplatt]

The tables in the dining rooms are much closer together than on the Magic and Wonder.

Makes it all the more important to be "good neighbors." (And I'll leave that interpretation up to you!)

 

[justhat]

I have a child with severe food allergies. For all of you who are saying it should be OK if your child sits at the table watching tv (therefore impacting others), would it be OK if the entire dining room stopped serving nuts/peanuts, & some fruits, so that my family could enjoy a more relaxed meal? I doubt there are many that would be willing to make that accommodation in the dining room...or even at our table. I wouldn't call you rude.

I don't see the correlation here at all. I have a child with a diary allergy. Whether or not people at the next table are drinking milk is irrelevant to her, so my meal wouldn't be more relaxed at all. If people at the next table are watching a DVD, and therefore their kids are quiet, my meal is that much more enjoyable than if the kids at that table were screaming. That is IF I even notice anything about people at the next table, which would be very, very rare for me.

I can't figure out why on earth this would bother anyone. If you don't want your kids watching DVDs, don't bring one to the table. Simple as that. How does it affect you if anyone else has a portable DVD player? Like I said, I have never brought my own to a meal, BUT, have been given some at restaurants before. If the restaurant management felt they were appropriate, at an upscale restaurant, then surely they must not feel that they are ruining other people's meals. Just don't look at that table! Focus on your own family and your own meal and life will go on.

 

[hardybuz]

As a parent of 3 boys ages 17, 10, and 5 all on the spectrum (moderate to high functioning autism), this thread saddens me, and I haven't even read all of the responses.
...........
I will do my best to make things enjoyable for those sitting around us, but please...If it means me resorting to methods you may not choose (such as a DVD, ipad, etc), don't judge me. Being the parent of 3 special needs boys, and a neuro-typical teen daughter, I'm just trying to keep my head above water most days as it is. So, if it means dinner with a DVD player so us and you can enjoy your dinner......Let it be. )

Elizabeth

Bravo. I'm usually resigned towards the ignorance from people who don't "get it", but some of the posts on this thread have appalled me. Thinking of how hard we special-needs parents work to be sensitive to the comfort of those around us (such as bringing a distraction device so our kids won't stim or yell at the table and upset fellow diners), and then finding that that all we will get for our trouble are nasty looks and being told that we should take our kids away from "the normal people" has made me want to roll a 42 inch television into the dining room, along with a pair of speakers and REALLY hope I get seated next to one of these people.

But.... I'd rather just thank the all the awesome posters who said they wouldn't judge any family who did what they needed to for their child, especially knowing that you can't always recognize a special-needs kid!

To those posters, I have a feeling that YOUR children are the TRULY well-behaved, because they are learning compassion and kindness for their fellow human beings from you, rather than that all-important skill of how to hold out their pinky while sipping tea!

 

[justhat]

What I am confused about is why some people are so anti DVD players, but don't care about coloring books, toys, regular books, etc. Those kids aren't interacting anymore than the kids with the DVD players. My daughter often brings books to restaurants with us and sits there reading the whole meal. How is that any better than if she were watching a movie?

I will add, I am not a huge fan of her reading through meals honestly, and we don't allow it at home, but in a restaurant we do. With 3 kids, having 1 reading cuts way, way back on noise. If my oldest is reading, our 2nd is generally much better behaved and will sit nicely and color, and that frees us up to entertain the miniature grouch who likes to screech her way through meals if not constantly amused and fed.

 

[5lilfish]

These are not "relaxing" dining rooms. Like I said above, they are busy and loud---
The screaming kid and the mom and dad loudly, but politely telling the child to be patient, or calm down, or be quiet, would drive me NUTS quicker than a kid I didn't know and didn't hear because they were focused on something else.

I have 5 kids. My oldest, 13 yrs old, is on the spectrum (very high functioning, but still affected) and my youngest are 3 yr old twins. Believe me, I know chaos...but I still am able to relax in the dining rooms (been on many cruises with my kids).

Jess

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

I don't see the correlation here at all. I have a child with a diary allergy. Whether or not people at the next table are drinking milk is irrelevant to her, so my meal wouldn't be more relaxed at all. If people at the next table are watching a DVD, and therefore their kids are quiet, my meal is that much more enjoyable than if the kids at that table were screaming. That is IF I even notice anything about people at the next table, which would be very, very rare for me.

I can't figure out why on earth this would bother anyone. If you don't want your kids watching DVDs, don't bring one to the table. Simple as that. How does it affect you if anyone else has a portable DVD player? Like I said, I have never brought my own to a meal, BUT, have been given some at restaurants before. If the restaurant management felt they were appropriate, at an upscale restaurant, then surely they must not feel that they are ruining other people's meals. Just don't look at that table! Focus on your own family and your own meal and life will go on.

I think you are missing what the OP is saying. She has requested to be seated with another family with children. Therefore it does impact others at the table. If it didn't, then it would be her own decision, right?