Honest dining opinion please.

[MouseMomx2]

Personal opinion here...

I think it is important to acclimate children to social situations, and the required behavior, at a young age. My kids are now grown, but they were always made to behave at the table when they were young. We did bring some small toys, crayons, etc. with us, but we also actively engaged them. We believed that we, as their parents, had the obligation to see to their needs above our own. That meant that we might not get all of the adult time that we wanted or might have to leave the dining room for a bit with a cranky toddler, but it was all part of the journey. We regularly had people stop at our table to tell us how well behaved our kids were. Were they any better than any other kids? Of course not! It's just that we put the time into it and made them understand, on their level, what was expected and appropriate.

That said, I am sure you know where I come down on the DVD player issue. There is absolutely no way I would ever allow my kids to use them in a restaurant. I do understand why those who have children with disabilities or other conditions that limit attentiveness choose to use unconventional methods, however when we are talking about average kids with no medical needs I am strongly against it. Am I offended by it? No. But I do feel that it is a mistake made in the name of ease.

Each time you use a DVD player to placate your child in a social situation you move a step in the wrong direction, IMO. Not only do you teach them that it is acceptable, you have also missed out on the next lesson on what is expected. With small toys and/or crayons the child is still conversing with you and part of the family dynamic. With a DVD player that child is shut off from the social situation and in a world of his/her own. If you take the time to actively engage your child it will get easier and easier as time goes on.

Just my $.02.

 

[MrsMinease]

Ds is a high energy little guys, and DH and I were having the same discussion last night. We talked about whether we should load a few shows onto DHs iPhone for dining while on the cruise. We've decided against it, or a DVD player. We've found Disney dining to be a great opportunity to teach DS about proper behaviour in a restaurant... in an environment where kids are welcomed and accepted to begin with. I find Disney dining so much more accomodating to getting up and removing DS from a situation, without all the usual judgemental looks coming from other tables. We'll be packing things to help him manage through the meal, but they'll be interactive things that we'll be doing with him, rather than just letting him zone out to a show.

We've also booked nursery time for one of our dinners so we can have a nice dinner together without the distractions of DS.

 

[babystar]

Take it with you, see how your kiddie goes, if you feel that it is going to make your vacation better then give it to them!!

My dd will take her nintendo DS and maybe her DVD player. It makes no difference to me if she has any special needs. It is the one time of year that my husband and I get time to enjoy dinners together and as long as it doesnt impact others i.e volume to loud then I really dont care what others think.

We dont allow her to use electrical items at any other meals when at home or just eating out in our home town - it is a holiday treat, she is not made to sit and play it and we will try and have a conversation she can join in with.

To finish off, do what you think is right, then you will have no regrets!

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

Personal opinion here...

I think it is important to acclimate children to social situations, and the required behavior, at a young age. My kids are now grown, but they were always made to behave at the table when they were young. We did bring some small toys, crayons, etc. with us, but we also actively engaged them. We believed that we, as their parents, had the obligation to see to their needs above our own. That meant that we might not get all of the adult time that we wanted or might have to leave the dining room for a bit with a cranky toddler, but it was all part of the journey. We regularly had people stop at our table to tell us how well behaved our kids were. Were they any better than any other kids? Of course not! It's just that we put the time into it and made them understand, on their level, what was expected and appropriate.

That said, I am sure you know where I come down on the DVD player issue. There is absolutely no way I would ever allow my kids to use them in a restaurant. I do understand why those who have children with disabilities or other conditions that limit attentiveness choose to use unconventional methods, however when we are talking about average kids with no medical needs I am strongly against it. Am I offended by it? No. But I do feel that it is a mistake made in the name of ease.

Each time you use a DVD player to placate your child in a social situation you move a step in the wrong direction, IMO. Not only do you teach them that it is acceptable, you have also missed out on the next lesson on what is expected. With small toys and/or crayons the child is still conversing with you and part of the family dynamic. With a DVD player that child is shut off from the social situation and in a world of his/her own. If you take the time to actively engage your child it will get easier and easier as time goes on.

Just my $.02.

I could not agree more! On a long car ride or plane ride...maybe. At dinner...not necessary.

 

[chudson98]

I wouldn't have any problem as long as you use headphones and aren't disturbing others. I see no difference between bringing a DVD player and iPod, cell phone, etc and many more adults have those. I think those around you would rather a small DVD player then a screaming child. Just my opinion.

 

[hardybuz]

Simple answer:

Whatever will make your vacation easier, more relaxing and enjoyable....do it.

I would rather children enjoy themselves (its their vacation too) and have enjoyable noises come from them(or no noise at all)....rather than hearing screaming and crying and moms and dads raising their voices (yes it happens on DCL).

Fabulous answer! I do wish people could remember that not every child (like my autistic DS) can handle loud, noisy dining rooms without a little assistance. Kids like mine have a hard enough time every day of their lives- they shouldn't be sniffed at when they're on a vacation when their biggest crime is sitting still and eating quietly with their parents.

I feel that as long as your child uses headphones, it's no one else's business what you're doing at your own table. In fact, I'd say that staring haughtily at other people who are quietly enjoying their dinner isn't the best display of manners, either.

My take: do what's best for your child, and enjoy yourselves! You're on vacation!

 

[Zandy595]

DH and I have been on four Disney cruises but this April on MR will be our 1st with a toddler. What is your honest option about DVD players at dinner? Quite a few people recommend we bring ours to dinner since they take a long time. We also requested to sit with another family with small children. Is it ok with you so our kid sits quietly or is it rude?

I would bring toys and things to distract your toddler, but it that didn't work and he/she was still cranky I would pull out the DVD player with headphones. My DS is 15, but I still remember what he was like when he was little and whiney in a restaurant . As a tablemate or someone sitting nearby I would appreciate your effort in keeping him/her happy and would definitely not look down on you for it. It's a vacation, everyone should be happy - little ones, parents and tablemates.

 

[Dallas_Lady]

In my opinion, I would say it's in bad form. I have two small children (2 and 4) so I understand where you are coming from. But I think something like that would be a distraction to others. And, personally, if I were seated with you I would ask to be moved. Your kid's DVD player would totally distract my kids and all I'd hear was them asking why they can't watch movies at dinner too.

We will have crayons, coloring books and things like that for our kids. We are also doing late dining so that the kids can eat quickly and head to the kids club while we enjoy a leisurely paced meal.

Personal opinion here...

I think it is important to acclimate children to social situations, and the required behavior, at a young age. My kids are now grown, but they were always made to behave at the table when they were young. We did bring some small toys, crayons, etc. with us, but we also actively engaged them. We believed that we, as their parents, had the obligation to see to their needs above our own. That meant that we might not get all of the adult time that we wanted or might have to leave the dining room for a bit with a cranky toddler, but it was all part of the journey. We regularly had people stop at our table to tell us how well behaved our kids were. Were they any better than any other kids? Of course not! It's just that we put the time into it and made them understand, on their level, what was expected and appropriate.

That said, I am sure you know where I come down on the DVD player issue. There is absolutely no way I would ever allow my kids to use them in a restaurant. I do understand why those who have children with disabilities or other conditions that limit attentiveness choose to use unconventional methods, however when we are talking about average kids with no medical needs I am strongly against it. Am I offended by it? No. But I do feel that it is a mistake made in the name of ease.

Each time you use a DVD player to placate your child in a social situation you move a step in the wrong direction, IMO. Not only do you teach them that it is acceptable, you have also missed out on the next lesson on what is expected. With small toys and/or crayons the child is still conversing with you and part of the family dynamic. With a DVD player that child is shut off from the social situation and in a world of his/her own. If you take the time to actively engage your child it will get easier and easier as time goes on.

Just my $.02.

Very nicely put.

 

[rosiep]

Personally, I don't think I would have used one...(my kids are adults now), however I wouldn't think twice if you do. I think it's ok to ease up on strictness for vacation.

 

[scrapbookmomma74]

DH and I have been on four Disney cruises but this April on MR will be our 1st with a toddler. What is your honest option about DVD players at dinner? Quite a few people recommend we bring ours to dinner since they take a long time. We also requested to sit with another family with small children. Is it ok with you so our kid sits quietly or is it rude?

If you requested to sit with another family, isn't it for interaction? What are you teaching your child if you sit talking with the other parents while your child is staring at a screen? You should be encouraging activities that will involve the other family's children so that the kids have positive social interactions.

If your child must have distractions, I think non-technological ones are more appropriate.

 

[MinnesotaMouseketeers]

IMHO - I feel that bringing a portable DVD player to the dining rooms is inappropriate.

If you are sitting alone with just you family, it might be alright, but I still feel that to anyone sitting at a table nearby, it would be disruptive.

Also, if you're seated with another family, it could even be worse. Then you'd have multiple children trying to view it.

I would suggest that you either dine elsewhere or leave the DVD player in the room

I agree it could be a big problem if you are seated with a family with children. My DS is now 18, but when we first cruised he was seven and I would be very upset if our table mates brought one for their child/ren and it became a big distraction for my DS. We wanted dinner to be family time. Not taking time trying to keep him from running around to the other side of the table to watch what's on the DVD player. I would also have a problem if the speakers are on at a nearby table.

If you are seated by yourself and you have ear buds for him than I see no problem with bring one to dinner.

We had a family at our church bring one in for their son during the service. They sat in the last pew and he did have ear buds in. But when something funny came up during the movie; he would burst out loud with laughter So they spent most of the service trying to shush him up They didn't turn it off or take him out of the sanctuary.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

Personal opinion here...

I think it is important to acclimate children to social situations, and the required behavior, at a young age. My kids are now grown, but they were always made to behave at the table when they were young. We did bring some small toys, crayons, etc. with us, but we also actively engaged them. We believed that we, as their parents, had the obligation to see to their needs above our own. That meant that we might not get all of the adult time that we wanted or might have to leave the dining room for a bit with a cranky toddler, but it was all part of the journey. We regularly had people stop at our table to tell us how well behaved our kids were. Were they any better than any other kids? Of course not! It's just that we put the time into it and made them understand, on their level, what was expected and appropriate.

That said, I am sure you know where I come down on the DVD player issue. There is absolutely no way I would ever allow my kids to use them in a restaurant. I do understand why those who have children with disabilities or other conditions that limit attentiveness choose to use unconventional methods, however when we are talking about average kids with no medical needs I am strongly against it. Am I offended by it? No. But I do feel that it is a mistake made in the name of ease.

Each time you use a DVD player to placate your child in a social situation you move a step in the wrong direction, IMO. Not only do you teach them that it is acceptable, you have also missed out on the next lesson on what is expected. With small toys and/or crayons the child is still conversing with you and part of the family dynamic. With a DVD player that child is shut off from the social situation and in a world of his/her own. If you take the time to actively engage your child it will get easier and easier as time goes on.

Just my $.02.

I totally agree with you.

Even if you think you aren't disturbing others around you, you may very well be. Perhaps they just aren't confronting you about it.

 

[chrisrunty]

Wow. Thank you everyone for all the opinions! People we know just got back from a Disney cruise saying they used a DVD for dining with their kid and saw lots of other ones. It wasn't something we decided to do, (hence posting a question) but rather curious if it was common. On our cruises with just DH and I (before kid) we never noticed them. We have always enjoyed our dining experiences meeting people, we still keep in contact with some. I am sure my toddler will enjoy it as well. It will be his first cruise. Sorry if an inquiring mind caused a stir.

 

[jinia]

Good question! Yall asked for honest opinions and you sure got them! If you use headphones I don't think it is rude just not ideal. I certainly wouldn't dream of blaming your kid having a DVD player for my kid behaving poorly-running around or whining! DS9 is what you might call high maintenance but we have always taken him out to dinner without electronics on purpose. On vacation he gets a new (to him) toy at dinner each night. We usually wait until McDonalds or Burger King has a cool something he would like and buy the set. That way each night he adds to it and loves it. Never spend more than $10 on them and it usually works out so well! Have fun!

 

[purplepuppy]

I see no problem with using a DVD player if it is quiet and not disrupting anyone. We just go off the Magic with our 21 month old and he was incredibly difficult during dinners. We brought along our ipod touch and that distracted him for short periods of time. I do not even think anyone around us noticed. What would have been more distracting is if he had been screaming at the top of his lungs (which he did do-but less often with the iPod). We tried distracting him with many things like toys and crayons and those just didn't work. He was also just too young to reason well with at his age. I did not think it was fair of us to expect such a young child to behave like an angel during a long meal and I personally don't think a vacation is the time to try and teach that (as that would have been much more disruptive to others around us). I think it's important to remember that all kids are different and just because yours are perfectly behaved from infancy on doesn't mean that all kids are like that (and it is not necessarily due to poor parenting!).

 

[JohnO]

portable DVD player = SO Inappropriate.

The dining rooms are something closer to fine dining, not MacDonald's Playland.

 

[JACH1976]

if I were seated at a table with a DVD player.. under any circumstances or jsuitfications or what have you..

I'd be sitting ELESEWHERE..Immediately. I wouldn't even ask the maitre D to find another table for us the next night.. we would get up immediately. I am not about to be subjected to such an uncomfortable situation.

I find it rude and distracting.

not even headphones would be an acceptable compromise.

if the child cannot sit still for that long, then either request a table all to yourselves or eat elsewhere.

Wow, that's quite the opinion. Our son has autism, and having his iPod (with headphones) at the table is what enables us to take him out to restaurants. He doesn't use it at home, but in a busy, crowded, loud dining room it lets him keep his sanity. We would far prefer to sit by ourselves (and have requested it), but I would also prefer that others sitting around us not be so quick to judge without understanding the situation.

 

[UK-Simon]

Would using an iPod or DVD player with headphone offend me?-No
Would ask the parents to stop, or else I'd switch tables?-No

Do I like the concept for normal healthy children?-No, I feel the social environment they are placed in will be very beneficial during later life, even at such a young age.

For the previous poster whose child has autism, if they feel it's necessary then all power to them.

 

[JohnO]

Simple answer:

Whatever will make your vacation easier, more relaxing and enjoyable....do it.

I would rather children enjoy themselves (its their vacation too) and have enjoyable noises come from them(or no noise at all)....rather than hearing screaming and crying and moms and dads raising their voices (yes it happens on DCL).

I go to PALO to practice my table manners.

Vacation is time to have fun, and if that means your table manners are a little off, so what.

Dinner time at the kitchen table is TOTALLY different.

Aye, Aye, Aye!! What a way to emphasize the "It's all about me" attitude that is a huge part about with what's wrong in the world these days.... I think you've got it backwards. I'd rather my children commit a dining room ‘no no' while in the privacy of our home, NOT in public, and at the expense of other diner's experience....

Not teaching your children to be 'neighborly' will make them bad neighbors....

 

[hardybuz]

Our son has autism, and having his iPod (with headphones) at the table is what enables us to take him out to restaurants. He doesn't use it at home, but in a busy, crowded, loud dining room it lets him keep his sanity. We would far prefer to sit by ourselves (and have requested it), but I would also prefer that others sitting around us not be so quick to judge without understanding the situation.

Yep. We look at this way: anyone who feels the need to leave immediately because our disabled child is silently watching a video at our private table is MORE than welcome to take their insensitivity issues to the other side of the restaurant. We have our standards for fellow diners, too.