He's trying to take away my son.

[Tinkbell]

Sounds like his playing mind games and throwing scare tactics at you. Definitely consult an attorney. He won't bother you when he sees you can't be bullied.

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} I'm praying that everything will work out. I know this has to be incredibly hard as it is, and you don't need the extra stress of your ex treating you this way.

 

[TigerBear]

It sounds to me like he is really hurt you are calling it quits. He likely wants you to feel his level of pain - and thus is using your son to get to you. I truly hope he wakes up and realizes that he needs to do what is in the best interest of your child. (((HUGS))) to you. Please follow the advice of others here and seek an attorney.

 

[Serena]

Meagan, I don't mean to be a pain, but could it be possible that your ex feels the same way about his baby as you do?

I'm not there, so I don't know what has gone on. I wish you all the best though. It's hard I know.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I can't even imagine the level of fear and pain you must be feeling. I agree with what everyone says, even tigerbear and Serena. It is probably a mix of all of it.
{{{HUGS}}} and PD to you for things to become better for all of you.

 

[aahmom1]

Let's all realize that he's the soon to be ex's son too. There is nothing that says that he can't have the same rights as she has. You BOTH have to come up with an equal agreement for time with your (both of your) son. It sounds to me like he's making a preemptive strike. He's not 'trying to take your son', he's trying to 'keep his son'.

 

[RUDisney]

Gosh, this stinks. I agree with most of what has been said already, but, hmm... does he want you to have him on the weekends so you never have any time to have a social life and he does? Life during the week is hard and hectic with work and homework and getting things ready for tomorrow. At least on the weekends you can kick back and relax. Seems to me this could be his power trip to keep his weekend calendar free.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Was he in agreement? I know you have tried marriage counseling. Possibly there is a type of post-marriage counseling where you could attempt to work this out with a mediator present before it really gets ugly. I do agree with the others, of course you need a good lawyer right away.

 

[JAP]

{{HUGS}} Preshi. I hope all turns out ok in the end.

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by aahmom1
Let's all realize that he's the soon to be ex's son too. There is nothing that says that he can't have the same rights as she has. You BOTH have to come up with an equal agreement for time with your (both of your) son. It sounds to me like he's making a preemptive strike. He's not 'trying to take your son', he's trying to 'keep his son'.

I agree with Serena and Aahmom1 that while it sounds mean to you and you want all the time you can have with your son, your ex is still the dad, and has the same rights to want to have custody of his son that you do. You both should get lawyers and let the court determine what the custody arrangement should be since you won't agree.

My brother just went through this and I won't even get into how the court treated him as a father. Let's just say it was an uphill battle.

Good luck

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

been there, done that.

1. tell him you won't discuss personal matters like this at work. set boundaries. if he tries to upset you at work, tell him you'll speak with him another time and hang up. be firm. don't let him manipulate you.

2. as others have said, it's time to hire an attorney. you may want to interview more than one to see who you are comfortable with. do you need a shark or someone who will suggest compromises? I wouldn't give up on a negotiated agreement between two amicable adults just yet. if he's starting to get crazy, you may be able to pull him back. but be prepared -- sane, rational adults can turn into raving lunatics in a divorce.

3. recognize that ds has two parents. I disagree with aahmom about shared parenting -- it works sometimes, not at other times. it may work for you, it may not. but you do need to work out a custody and visitation arrangement that gives both of you time with your son.

4. find a real-life and/or on line support group for people going through a divorce.

{hugs}

 

[olena]

I'm sorry....*HUGS*