WOW!
Some of these "punishments" are quite overboard for the situation(s) at hand especially because we lack a lot of information.
Issue #1:
- 17 Years Old
- High school senior
- Laze and Unmotivated
- Skipped School
Are people really surprised at this? I graduated high school in 2004, skipping, especially as a senior, was not uncommon. I skipped a handful of days my senior year, graduated with good grades, have two college degrees, and got a respectful career after college.My fiance, who I started dating my senior year in high school, graduated in the top of her class in high school, the top 5 at a well known Boston School, and now has an amazing career working at a Boston Hospital. SHE skipped school during her senior skip day. This is not an uncommon practice. Teachers at both my and my fiance's high school (different schools) PLANNED around senior skip day (no tests, assignments due etc). I know, GOD FORBID this happens, public school systems are horrible yada-yada.
I can't count how many times I was told I was "lazy" and "unmotivated" during my childhood. Its true, I admit it. I did the bare minimum needed, at the last minute possible. I've been punished, reprimanded, grounded, written papers, had my most loved items taken from me etc... you name it, my parents tried it. Did this motivate or stop me from being lazy... NO! What stopped me was when I realized it was in my best interest to change. That I was doing it for myself, and no one else, because I wanted to.
Issue #2:
- Skipped School
- At home alone w/ gf
Been there, done that. He's 17 years old, at this age, hes going to make the decisions he makes regardless of the potential consequences from mom. The only lesson he learned from this was not to trust his little brother. I assure you he's going to sneak off somewhere else with her, unsupervised and you'll never know, understand this. A punishment at this stage in his life will simply deteriorate your relationship with your son; he's going to choose "love" over you. You're responsibility is to be there when "love sucks" and to let him know it will be alright when she dumps him, that there are other fish in the sea. Now if you haven't (hopefully you have) make sure you have the "talk".
Issue #3:
- Doesn't have own car
- Uses family car when THEY need something done
Given we don't know your family and your son, you need to ask yourself what privileges your son DOES have. With what little information we have it sounds like you're still treating him like a young child.
- How does he go on dates?
- Does he have any time where he can be with just his gf? (movies, bowling, etc)
- Say he want's to go to the movies with his gf, do you drive them?! REALLY?
- Does he have a job?
- How does he earn money if not? (an allowance!?!?)
- Where is his responsibility? His independence?
TLDR;
He's 17, sit back, let auto-pilot take over, and be his crutch when he falls down.