"He ONLY wants to be an auto mechanic..."

[overlyspoiled4sure]

I wouldn't put a kid down for what they said they wanted to do either. However, I did suggest to my DGD age 18 that she choose classes in college that will enable her to earn a living when she's out of school. Her dad has a degree but it didn't lead to a job in the field.

this is for buckalew11----you mention not going to college & are a hairdresser. IMO you DID go to college..college of cosmetology! There's a lot to being a hairdresser us regular folks don't know about, such as knowing something about chemistry when mixing up dyes for hair?? Or am I wrong there...

 

[bigbabyblues]

Does anyone else know a parent like that that would look down on their kid if they made that sort of choice?

My DH has never had a job good enough to suit his dad. When he was a manufacturing engineer (he was great at it but was miserable the entire time), he should have been the plant manager. When he left that to be a paramedic, I though FIL was going to croak. He is now a full time medic (which he loves), and a part time flight medic (which was his dream job), FIL is insistent he should go on to be a doctor, or at least a PA.

He just can't understand that DH is doing what he WANTS to do, and is happy. FIL has never supported us in any way or given us any money (unlike his other 3 children who are out of college and still depend on his checks every month to make their bills), but DH's job will never be good enough.

 

[scrapquitler]

Have you ever heard a parent say something like that about their child? Once I was having a conversation with a mom who talked about her son and his dreams. She said something that frankly took me aback. She said, "He ONLY wants to be an auto mechanic..." with a tone of disgust and dissappointment. Granted, I live in an upper middle class area where most parents work in white collar jobs. However, I was still amazed at her tone. It was as if she felt that being a mechanic would be beneath her son.

I asked her what was wrong with being a mechanic and she said she just expected so much more for her son. I asked if she and her husband did any work on their cars and she said no. So I asked who would work on her car if their were no mechanics? I guess she just looked down on that profession and would not want her son doing that.

I said well you son is only eight and will probably change his mind several times, but why not encourage him to do what he loves. If he chooses a lifestyle that is different, who cares if he makes less income in his chosen career. For awhile, all my daughter could talk about was being a cheerleader and I never thought to shoot her dreams down.

Would it bother you for your child to pursue a career that made less money or where they worked physically harder than you if it is what they loved?

As long as what they do makes them happy, I am good with it.

I keep telling my son he should be an electrician or a plumber because they make a TON of money!!

 

[Buckalew11]

.

this is for buckalew11----you mention not going to college & are a hairdresser. IMO you DID go to college..college of cosmetology! There's a lot to being a hairdresser us regular folks don't know about, such as knowing something about chemistry when mixing up dyes for hair?? Or am I wrong there...

I appreciate this, I really do. I think at the age of 46, I look back and wish I had the "college experience". I'm on campus a lot at a local college and it makes me think I missed something pretty special.
You do learn some chemistry for haircolor and there is a lot that goes into doing a good haircut too. I take a lot of pride in my work and do every head of hair like I'm cutting the most famous & seen person's hair no matter what style they choose.
And how important is a hairdresser? Just ask someone on a bad hair day or after a bad haircut!

 

[E-P-C-O-T]

My mom best friend's husband is "only" a mechanic who put 3 kids thru Harvard, lives in a mansion and travels around the world for, at least, 30 days each year... Of course, his specialty is european cars

 

[Planogirl]

I keep reminding DS that a profession in the trades could be good too. I mention auto mechanic, plumber, electrician and so on. These jobs are nice because you can make good money and enjoy what you do if you have the right mindset plus these people will likely always be in demand.

 

[tw1nsmom]

One more thing. The people that I know who make the most money do so not because of the degrees they have, but because they have entrepreneurial skills and a willingness to work exceedingly hard. My DB is an electrician. He could have made a good living being an electrician in the Union. He worked really hard, is constantly learning, has taken risks and owns one of the biggest electrical contracting firms in our state. A boy who barely graduated high school became the richest person I know.

 

[Uncle Remus]

I keep reminding DS that a profession in the trades could be good too. I mention auto mechanic, plumber, electrician and so on. These jobs are nice because you can make good money and enjoy what you do if you have the right mindset plus these people will likely always be in demand.

Yep 'n it's not likely to be outsourced either.

 

[Feralpeg]

My daughter is currently working on her masters in Medieval History. Obviously, practicality is not a big thing in in this family.

Seriously, I think the attitude that all children must go to college to be a success is something that needs to change. The price of college classes keeps rising. So many kids are putting themselves into incredible debt to go to college. They graduate and cannot find a job in the career field, or, decide they don't like that field and end up doing something else.

While going to college is a great thing for some, it isn't the end all be all. I know many successful people who never attended college. Companies that will only consider college grads for jobs that really don't require a college degree need to get over themselves. Things are about to change!

 

[Tink888]

Actually that is an up an coming career. There was some survey done earlier this year and that was one of the top 10 careers to get into. There are only a handful of schools around that offer this major though. There are new rules for many of the professional sports leagues that people that manage athletes have to have a degree in this to be able to negotiate contracts, etc.

It also think people have the mistaken impression that being an auto mechanic is a low paying job--it's a dirty job, but around here auto mechanics make about $40/hour.

I hope you're right. I had a friend who majored in sports management back in the early 90's. Did absolutely nothing with it and works as a counselor now.

Have you ever heard a parent say something like that about their child? Once I was having a conversation with a mom who talked about her son and his dreams. She said something that frankly took me aback. She said, "He ONLY wants to be an auto mechanic..." with a tone of disgust and dissappointment. Granted, I live in an upper middle class area where most parents work in white collar jobs. However, I was still amazed at her tone. It was as if she felt that being a mechanic would be beneath her son.

I asked her what was wrong with being a mechanic and she said she just expected so much more for her son. I asked if she and her husband did any work on their cars and she said no. So I asked who would work on her car if their were no mechanics? I guess she just looked down on that profession and would not want her son doing that.

I said well you son is only eight and will probably change his mind several times, but why not encourage him to do what he loves. If he chooses a lifestyle that is different, who cares if he makes less income in his chosen career. For awhile, all my daughter could talk about was being a cheerleader and I never thought to shoot her dreams down.

Would it bother you for your child to pursue a career that made less money or where they worked physically harder than you if it is what they loved?

I think it has a lot to do with the mindset of most people, that in order to be successful you have to go to a 4 year college and get a degree. This is drilled into kid's/parent's heads from the time they start school until the time they graduate. (And I'm not saying I agree, college doesn't guarantee anyone a job, but I do think it helps in that a person has more options)

Also I think many parent's dream for their kids is that they will be more successful, financially set and live a better life with less struggle than they did. And because we are a money & appearance driven society we tend to think of success only in terms of money and things and not necessarily a happy & fulfilled life.

As long as my kids are able to support themselves in a lifestyle that brings them contentment, I am fine with what they choose to do. It's their life to live.

 

[Scrap4me]

For those who think that mechanics don't make much money, let me tell you-- my husband has been a Diesel Mechanic for almost 20 years! Currently he grosses about $95,000 a year plus quarterly bonuses...not chump change.... true, he comes home with that lovely aroma of "Grease Monkey" and he always rides home with disposable seat covers on the truck, but--it is a job, a good job. He is very skilled and in high demand in this area. He has yet to meet an engine that he can't fix, be it truck, car, mower, boat, atv...etc....
Our oldest son is following in his footsteps also. He is 21 and currently making $ 33,000 a year. As his experience and certifications expand, so will his income.
Most people look down on mechanics, but they do so much for us. They are not just people who turn a wrench and gather grease under their nails. Every few months, there are changes in the automotive industry that necessitate new skills..thus, more classes and certifications.
My mechanics (my husband and son) are worth their weight in gold. They are comfortable working in a fully equipped shop, their own driveway or on the side of a road.
And for those who think a mechanic makes too much money. Ask any reputable mechanic about his tools....expensive!!! A good wrench (yes, just 1) can cost upwards of $100--not to mention the computer software for onboard computers, the air guns, and oh so much more.......
I fell in love with a grease monkey and I still love my grease monkey--and for those who like to look down their noses at him--we don't care..we will laugh as we go by on our beautiful --paid for boat--while they sit on the beach only dreaming of a boat......

 

[luvsJack]

My kids went to high school with a boy that had a really hard time in school. He has never been able to learn to read past a certain grade level. But, he did learn how to work on cars. And now he works for the Toyota place in town and makes more than most of his peers that did go to college, very successful.

DS went to college but started working offshore and is now moving steadily up through the company and makes great money and has great benefits. Younger ds, also went to college but has found something he loves in working for a chain of small stores and is also working his way up. Both my sons recently got a promotion.

As long as my kids are happy in what they do, I would never think any of them are "just a. . " anything.

 

[clh2]

For those who think that mechanics don't make much money, let me tell you-- my husband has been a Diesel Mechanic for almost 20 years! Currently he grosses about $95,000 a year plus quarterly bonuses...not chump change.... true, he comes home with that lovely aroma of "Grease Monkey" and he always rides home with disposable seat covers on the truck, but--it is a job, a good job. He is very skilled and in high demand in this area. He has yet to meet an engine that he can't fix, be it truck, car, mower, boat, atv...etc....
Our oldest son is following in his footsteps also. He is 21 and currently making $ 33,000 a year. As his experience and certifications expand, so will his income.
Most people look down on mechanics, but they do so much for us. They are not just people who turn a wrench and gather grease under their nails. Every few months, there are changes in the automotive industry that necessitate new skills..thus, more classes and certifications.
My mechanics (my husband and son) are worth their weight in gold. They are comfortable working in a fully equipped shop, their own driveway or on the side of a road.
And for those who think a mechanic makes too much money. Ask any reputable mechanic about his tools....expensive!!! A good wrench (yes, just 1) can cost upwards of $100--not to mention the computer software for onboard computers, the air guns, and oh so much more.......
I fell in love with a grease monkey and I still love my grease monkey--and for those who like to look down their noses at him--we don't care..we will laugh as we go by on our beautiful --paid for boat--while they sit on the beach only dreaming of a boat......

I bet you've saved tons of house repair expenses throughout the years too! Handy"man" skills usually transfer to household things like plumbing, electrical etc.

I've always been a little jealous of a neighbor. Her husband can fix ANYTHING. Mine - not so much...

 

[cornflake]

I don't think it's about not making enough money, but about not pursuing the education or options or a career that may be more engaged in the academic types of pursuits, if the parents in question are people who place value on those.

I'd wager the 'he only wants to be a mechanic' person would feel better about it if her son went to college, got an MBA and then became a mechanic - because he'd have a basic, liberal arts education and the foundational education to allow him to, say, open his own shop if he chose (yes, I know plenty of people without MBAs open their own shops and are very successful, but it can't hurt to have a business education background) or what have you. And, as a person above me noted, the degrees give you choices forever.

If a person comes from a family that values education for education's sake, and has invested considerable time and money in ensuring generations of children are educated, and those educated children have pursued careers that make use of their educations, and etc, and one kid decides they don't necessarily see the value in that? I don't think it's necessarily a parental failing if they don't just embrace that choice because the child will make enough to live on.

Yes, they want their kids to be happy, but happiness isn't always found with the pursuit of one's first desire - plenty of people regret they didn't go to school, and sure, plenty regret they didn't ditch the philosophy degree and become a plumbing apprentice.

I don't see that the parent's position is so strange, I guess. My parents would have laaaaughed, and then said whatever I did after college was up to me.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I'd be thrilled if my DDs brought home an auto mechanic, eletrician or a plumber! College isn't for everyone and there's no guaranty of a job after spending all that money for a degree that might mean nothing.

 

[Art 1]

I know 2 plumbers who are millionaires. One goes between Ocala and Ireland with his race horses.

I am having serious trouble finding young people to work in my trade. They don't want to work hard and spend the years to get proficient. They seem to want to sit behind a computer. They days of easy money sitting behind a computer are gone.

 

[my3sonsagn]

I read an article not long ago that suggests a skilled trade is one of the best routes today's youth can take. With so many states having HOPE/lottery funded education there has been a dramatic increase in the number of college educated (mainly bachelor's degrees) people in the last decade or so and it's causing their educations to be less valuable in the job market - not because of any lack on their part but because the market is simply flooded with people with similar skills and education. Because so many people who otherwise might have chosen to apprentice in a field or attend vocational school because of finances have instead utilized state programs to pursue higher education there is a shortage of young people in the skilled trades.

Given that, I've strongly encouraged my sons to look among the skilled trades and/or vocational school options - like a mechanic. Whatever they decide to do I will support them so long as their choice isn't illegal. My middle son told me for years that he wanted to be Macgyver when he grows up - I'd smile and nod thinking, "Oh, he'll learn...", but it's me who keeps learning not to underestimate him as he continues to make "weapons" and other useful items out of random crap he finds laying around (his current achievement is a working crossbow made from a ruler, twine, plastic clothes hanger, and duct tape - complete with a laser sight scavenged from a cat toy). Free children to follow their dreams, and they will astonish you with what they can accomplish... though I'm still not sure exactly where his skills will lead him as far as a career goes. lol

 

[englishteacha]

Our nephew at age 3 wanted to be a firefighting monkey when he grew up. Yes, a firefighting monkey. A monkey who fights fires. Seems like a noble profession to me. For Halloween that year, he was a monkey firefighter. His parents made him a monkey suit to wear with a fireman's jacket, boots, and hat. When they're little, support their dreams. By the time they're older, they'll have changed their minds so many times. And we need more good auto mechanics, plumbers, electricians, builders, and drivers of all things!

 

[ZachnElli]

Well, I might be one of those parents. My ds16 wants to be a musician. but he doesn't play any instruments and has yet to make varsity choir ( he's a junior this year). He's never tried out for any musicals or solos. So, I'm not terribly supportive. I have bought him 2 guitars, signed him up for lessons and he never practices. If he came home tomorrow and said he wanted to be an auto mechanic, I'd be thrilled! Right now, unless they come up with a course in flirting with girls, he's going to a community college to get the basic courses and hopefully figure out a real career!

 

[Aisling]

I don't think it's about not making enough money, but about not pursuing the education or options or a career that may be more engaged in the academic types of pursuits, if the parents in question are people who place value on those.

My father was/is like this. Five kids and he wanted every one of us to be a doctor or at least have a PhD in something. Anything less was an embarrassment for him. Now he has the same expectations for his grandchildren. It's a cultural thing, him being from a country where people are taught you're either a super-educated professional or you're eh.

I'd be thrilled if my DDs brought home an auto mechanic, eletrician or a plumber! College isn't for everyone and there's guaranty of a job after spending all that money for a degree that might mean nothing.

I totally agree! Add a computer repair technician and those would be my dream professions for my kids! Those people make a ton of money around here! And I'd SAVE a lot of money from having free service!