Hats in Restaurants

[lmhall2000]

I believe Disney has guests from all over the world, I do not know hat customs in other countries but on It's a Small World, I see hats...just adds to the diversity

 

[DJWMom]

PS- I show my respect by having good manners, not having children ( if I had any) screech and climb under other people's tables, and tipping properly.

Do all you hat people behave the same? Just wondering.

THIS. I am a server and have worked in the restaurant industry for years. I dont really care if a guest takes their hat off or not, as long as they're polite and well-behaved. I could have a table with one guest wearing a hat and another that treats me like I'm beneath them or just flat out ignores the fact that I'm at the table, and its not the guest with the hat I'd be judging as rude.

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

THIS. I am a server and have worked in the restaurant industry for years. I dont really care if a guest takes their hat off or not, as long as they're polite and well-behaved. I could have a table with one guest wearing a hat and another that treats me like I'm beneath them or just flat out ignores the fact that I'm at the table, and its not the guest with the hat I'd be judging as rude.

Nice to know thanks. Btw I have seen many posters use 'This' at the start of their post. What does this mean please? Sorry to be stupid but I have been wondering.

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

Nice to know thanks. Btw I have seen many posters use 'This' at the start of their post. What does this mean please? Sorry to be stupid but I have been wondering.

Btw I know what this means lol. But when uses in that context what is it highlighting?

 

[DJWMom]

Nice to know thanks. Btw I have seen many posters use 'This' at the start of their post. What does this mean please? Sorry to be stupid but I have been wondering.

Basically that we agree with the post we quoted

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

Basically that we agree with the post we quoted

I see thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I have been wondering for ages

 

[bumbershoot]

I see thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I have been wondering for ages

It makes the most sense if you hear it spoken. Like an excited "yes, this, exactly!" utterance.

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

It makes the most sense if you hear it spoken. Like an excited "yes, this, exactly!" utterance.

I like that! Thanks

 

[MolonLabe]

I don't know about you, but I don't want to return to eating with my hands by a fire and burying the bones nearby.

I apologize, I didn't realize you came from a 3rd (or possibly 4th) world country.

I haven't seen anyone in America doing that in my lifetime. Tell us where you hail from?

You've certainly come a long way, being able to use the interwebs and all. You must be very proud of your accomplishments.

 

[aubriee]

Give us a break.
Evolving means moving forward, not backwards. I don't know about you, but I don't want to return to eating with my hands by a fire and burying the bones nearby. So watch what you consider evolution. Not everyone is going to interpret your definition of evolving the same way.

I apologize, I didn't realize you came from a 3rd (or possibly 4th) world country.

I haven't seen anyone in America doing that in my lifetime. Tell us where you hail from?

You've certainly come a long way, being able to use the interwebs and all. You must be very proud of your accomplishments.

Totally off topic, but these two posts reminded me of an incident that happened at 50's Prime Time a few years ago. My mom and I were eating lunch at one of those small tables for two in the back room and right next to us at another small table for two were an English lady and her young son. The kid was about six or seven years old. We were sitting so close we were almost in each other's laps. The reason we noticed them though were their cute accents (just love the English accents). Anyway, suddenly this mom raised her voice and in that very prim and proper English voice screeched, "James, no! Use your fork and knife. Just because we are in America doesn't give you an excuse to eat like them." We glanced over and the kid had picked up a chicken leg. His elbows were not on the table, he was sitting perfectly straight up in his chair, and he was holding the fried chicken leg on each end with his first two fingers and thumb, with his pinkies and third fingers up. His mom had a horrified look on her face, like us American's had contaminated him with our bad manners. She saw us glance at them, got embarrassed and said, "Oh I'm sorry. I know not all American's have bad manners, but so many do and I don't want him to pick up any bad habits while we are over here". lol I was so glad my mom and I were dressed properly, sitting upright in our chairs, elbows off table, feet crossed neatly at the ankles, had our napkins in our laps, and were eating neatly with our forks. lol I would have hated for her to consider us a pair of rude American cavewomen with no manners, who might contaminate her little boy with our backward ways. lol

 

[1000HappyWishes]

My dad would kill me and my brother is we wore hats anywhere inside, especially a restaurant. If I'm watching children and I'm taking them out, I expect their hats off.

For me, it's just a common courtesy thing

 

[BeerMe]

For me, it's just a common courtesy thing

Why is it common courtesy? How in the world does my wearing a hat or not wearing a hat affect you in ANY way?

This is a custom, not manners. This ritual, like some other gestures such as a salute, developed as a sign of peace by knights. Also, people used to throw garbage out of windows onto the street and hats got dirty so taking them off inside developed out of a sense of cleanliness. None of those situations exist anymore.

It is a custom and that's all.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

Why is it common courtesy? How in the world does my wearing a hat or not wearing a hat affect you in ANY way?

This is a custom, not manners. This ritual, like some other gestures such as a salute, developed as a sign of peace by knights. Also, people used to throw garbage out of windows onto the street and hats got dirty so taking them off inside developed out of a sense of cleanliness. None of those situations exist anymore.

It is a custom and that's all.

Sorry but it's not just a custom. It is defined by any etiquette book as showing a mark of respect and considered rude to remove it. You don't have to agree with the books but you do need to accept that other people do. Does it effect me directly? No. Will I think you're being rude by leaving it on, yes. Do I really care what you do? No. But if someone asks me (like in this thread) if I think leaving a hat on inside is rude, the answer is yes, it is

 

[Chad819]

I say take it off when you are eating, no matter where, if its inside. Im always surprised how many men/kids don't do this. Some people are just raised right and some are not. Says a lot about todays society.

Really??? You are going to make a judgment about how someone is raised based on if they are wearing a hat. That is ridiculous. Yea that does say something about society alright and it is not from the ones wearing a hat.

 

[gina2000]

I apologize, I didn't realize you came from a 3rd (or possibly 4th) world country.

I haven't seen anyone in America doing that in my lifetime. Tell us where you hail from?

You've certainly come a long way, being able to use the interwebs and all. You must be very proud of your accomplishments.

Nice try. Your racism examples show evolution not regression. So I applied your logic to regression in table manners. And yes, I get the whole point that we have moved forward with equality in America. We made lives better showing respect for those around us. But you suggest that abandoning table manners shows evolution. I see it as regression.

That's the point of etiquette...showing respect for others at the table and the waitstaff. And that goes for people in Burger King as well as California Grill.

Oh, and for the record....walk into any golf clubhouse after a hot, sweaty round, and you'll not see a hat. Golfers figure it out before walking into the dining room. It's just not that hard.

 

[SouthJersey]

Nice try. Your racism examples show evolution not regression. So I applied your logic to regression in table manners. And yes, I get the whole point that we have moved forward with equality in America. We made lives better showing respect for those around us. But you suggest that abandoning table manners show progress. I see it as regression.

That's the point of etiquette...showing respect for others at the table and the waitstaff. And that goes for people in Burger King as well as California Grill.

Oh, and for the record....walk into any golf clubhouse after a hot, sweaty round, and you'll not see a hat. Golfers figure it out before walking into the dining room. It's just not that hard.

Hmm...we're members at Oakmont and Merion here in Pennsylvania and Seminole golf club in Florida and I see hats in-doors all the time. The first two being two of the highest ranked clubs in North America and Seminole being one of the highest, if not most exclusive, in the world, having turned down several legendary golfers for membership.

I've seen regular members and pro-golfers wearing hats in doors, just not at the table during a banquet or dinner. Brunch and lunch? Yes. General in-doors? Yes.

I agree with one of the previous posters who chose to label it a custom more-so than etiquette. Our society views it as etiquette BECAUSE it's been a custom for so much time.

Care to tell me the difference between these two scenarios;
1.) I'm wearing khaki dockers, black casual shoes and a black polo, just comign in from 9 holes. I have a black callaway hat on and sit down to eat.

2.) At the same club, Ms. Rockefeller is wearing a dress and big, Kentucky derby hat/'dinner' hat.

It's a hat. Why is hers for fashion and acceptable at dinner, but mine is not? Both are for fashion, however historic customs show most men didn't wear hats for fashion, which the factual majority does today (of those who wear hats).

 

[cobright]

From the same group of people who decided these things were bad etiquette too....

and this was ok-



Excuse me if I don't give two cares about what those same people thought about wearing hats indoors.

Evolve.

Sorry, this is silly. The same generation that did all those things also went to the moon and cured small pox (give or take a decade). Judge each action on its own merit if you like and behave without manners, that's your prerogative. But painting people you choose to show respect with courtesy and etiquette as racists is childish.

 

[cobright]

Same people and same thought process that created one created the other.

It's about people wanting to control people and making them do what they think is "right".

I think I found your misunderstanding.

Etiquette, at a personal level, is only ever about showing control of yourself.

Varying degrees of etiquette can be a requirement for participation in some cultures and sub-cultures, but that participation is (in the civilized world anyway) voluntary.

The only thing society demands of you is that you follow the law, beyond that it's do as you wish.

But you can't say that a restaurant refusing to seat you without a jacket is controlling you, because they have no requirement to seat you at all.

You can't say that a group of people frowning at you as you sit through the national anthem wearing your 'Dale #3' cap is trying to control you because they have unless you believe that they have a requirement to be pleasant to you at all.

No one is suggesting laws be passed.

Edited to add:

2.) At the same club, Ms. Rockefeller is wearing a dress and big, Kentucky derby hat/'dinner' hat.

It's a hat. Why is hers for fashion and acceptable at dinner, but mine is not? Both are for fashion, however historic customs show most men didn't wear hats for fashion, which the factual majority does today (of those who wear hats).

Wide brimmed hats and other functional head coverings (like a winter pull-down hat) should not be worn to dinner and if having lunch indoors it should be removed and given to coat-check. A 'dinner hat' is, like a dinner jacket, intended for formal dining and is considered to be a part of the lady's outfit.

Historic customs actually show that men PRIMARILY wore hats for fashion for at least the last 200 years or so. Certainly this was the case during the Victorian era when so much of our image of etiquette was formed.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

2.) At the same club, Ms. Rockefeller is wearing a dress and big, Kentucky derby hat/'dinner' hat.

It's a hat. Why is hers for fashion and acceptable at dinner, but mine is not? Both are for fashion, however historic customs show most men didn't wear hats for fashion, which the factual majority does today (of those who wear hats).

Historically women weren't required to remove their hats simply because it would have been difficult given that most hats had hat pins and ribbons to hold them in place.

 

[gina2000]

Funny how all the golf clubs you listed clearly state that the removal of hats indoors is required of all guests. That's even more restrictive than the topic at hand.

Doesn't matter how you slice it, at many levels of society, be it cultural or mere custom, men remove their hats while dining.