Harnesses for Kids

[EMom]

i am not trying to be rude but i am going to honestly tell u like i think it is. i hate them i think it is horrible to do that to your child. my brother is so bad and loves running and he is now six he has been like that since he was four, and we have taken him to disney at least six times since he was four and we bring a stroller and if he wants to walk, he does. We hold his hand and keep a good eye on him but we would never put him on a leash. they way i look at it, no matter how old your child is you should trust them at least a little bit. i am not saying you are a bad parents, but if you have to buy a leash for your child because you cant look after them than maybe there is a problem here. i understand that you are doing this because you love your child and want to keep them safe but i am against it..

this is just my opnion doesnt mean you have to like it or read it i am just sharing

TRUST a toddler, who is a known "runner?" That's a good one. Bless your heart, you CAN'T trust them because they AREN'T trustworthy. As I have said before, my DD was happy to hold my hand, ride in a stroller or walk alongside me. She was not a runner and I was sooooooo lucky. Never once had to use a harness. But my nephew was the Roadrunner in human form. How he made it through early childhood without being lost, hit by a car, etc. is a sheer miracle. He was just one of "those kids." I'm not saying he was a bad kid, but if there was danger to be found, he found it. If I'd ever taken him or a kid like him to WDW, they'd have been on THREE harnesses just to be safe.

My brother bolted and ran from my mother (as a toddler) downtown while they were in a store. He made it to the door, with her just behind him, but not close enough to grab him. By the time he went through the door and was on the sidewalk, the traffic was just feet away. Some grabbed him right before he ran in the path of a passing car. My mother wasn't negligent. He just let go of her hand and ran. She chased, but he was faster. One to two seconds made the difference between life and death, and thank goodness there was a person handy to grab him since my mother would have been 1-2 seconds too late and otherwise, planning a funeral. The brother went on a leash after that. None of the rest of us had to, but then we stayed with her.

For that matter, last year I saved a child in almost the exact same situation. It scared the crap out of me. I was checking out at a store where the cash registers are at the front by the doors, and those doors open up right to the parking lot. Cars pass right by the front door, which open automatically. Just as I was putting my receipt away, I saw a toddler run by me and realized the doors were open. He was heading to the parking lot at full speed. I told DD to stay put as I ran after him and managed to grab him just before he went in front of a car driving by. His mother was running after him, but she had on a sari and simply couldn't move quickly. To tell the truth, I had no idea I could move that quickly, but instinct kicked in. If I hadn't been by the front door, he would have been hit by that car and at a minimum, seriously injured.

I, for one, will not look down on those who harness their "runners." They don't do it until they're 18, for crying out loud. They just want to get them though a few short, but hazardous years, in one piece. That strikes me as being responsible.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

TRUST a toddler, who is a known "runner?" That's a good one. Bless your heart, you CAN'T trust them because they AREN'T trustworthy.

I beg to differ.

I don't fault anyone who uses a harness. My nephew was a real runner, with a true disability, yet he is now a remarkable 17 year old, and he never wore a harness. Yes, my sister was in good shape , but she also worked with him very carefully. Most kids with his condition never succeed as he has. He just graduated with full honors and an IB degree! Most kids with his level of disability don't even grauate. I hate to say it, but some parents DON'T make the effort to communicate with their kids or work on trust. Trust starts in infancy. One thing my sister did was co-sleep with him to calm him down at night. Most parents- most pediatricians strongly advise to put kids in a crib and let them cry it out. UGH! What does that teach them? It teaches them to not trust you. (Yet for some folks it a safer choice than co-sleeping.)

But that comes to one of my most common points about kids - no ONE thing works with all kids. Please remember this when your school district wants to impose a strict policy on all it's teachers! Maybe for some kids a harness does save their life. Maybe for others, the parents aren't trying to build trust because they assume it can't be done.

I'm sorry, but trust starts in infancy and continues through adulthood. Communication also starts from day one. (or maybe even before day one...) This is one of a very few things that is true for ALL CHILDREN!

 

[mjkacmom]

I beg to differ.

I don't fault anyone who uses a harness. My nephew was a real runner, with a true disability, yet he is now a remarkable 17 year old, and he never wore a harness. Yes, my sister was in good shape , but she also worked with him very carefully. Most kids with his condition never succeed as he has. He just graduated with full honors and an IB degree! Most kids with his level of disability don't even grauate. I hate to say it, but some parents DON'T make the effort to communicate with their kids or work on trust. Trust starts in infancy. One thing my sister did was co-sleep with him to calm him down at night. Most parents- most pediatricians strongly advise to put kids in a crib and let them cry it out. UGH! What does that teach them? It teaches them to not trust you. (Yet for some folks it a safer choice than co-sleeping.)

But that comes to one of my most common points about kids - no ONE thing works with all kids. Please remember this when your school district wants to impose a strict policy on all it's teachers! Maybe for some kids a harness does save their life. Maybe for others, the parents aren't trying to build trust because they assume it can't be done.

I'm sorry, but trust starts in infancy and continues through adulthood. Communication also starts from day one. (or maybe even before day one...) This is one of a very few things that is true for ALL CHILDREN!

Do you have children? I've never had a pediatrician who was against CIO, and my kids who went through it 2 - 3 nights seemed to have turned out pretty trusting of me (and they are AWESOME sleepers!). Most parents don't use harnesses all of the time. I only used them for walks when I was alone with my toddler twins (try to walk with two eighteen month olds without having one run into the street!), and in crowded outdoor areas (night time street concerts and fairs, parades, etc.). They're for parents who want to give their children freedom from the stroller, without risking them wandering off (and not every family has one or two children - some of us are on zone defense, yet don't want our children trapped in a seat).

 

[2shortpeopleruleme]

I haven't read the whole thread, nor do I intend to... It is the same argument every single time on here...

OP.... We have one that we DO use on our DD (22 months). We have a light weight vinyl backpack that we picked up from toys R us. She LOVES her backpack. She gets to walk just like her big sister. We used two Saturday's ago at our Aquarium. Ours does not allow for strollers. She did great with it, this was the most time she had ever had to wear it.

On another note, for our ODD we never had to use one of these. She would always stay near and I don't think she ever ran from us. YDD she is a pistol and runs like a wide receiver!! For us it is a saftey issue for her nothing more.

Bottom line... this is your child, you know him best. Take it and see. This is one of those things that it is better to have and not need, then to need and not have. IMO

Have a great safe trip!!

 

[2shortpeopleruleme]

Do you have children? I've never had a pediatrician who was against CIO, and my kids who went through it 2 - 3 nights seemed to have turned out pretty trusting of me (and they are AWESOME sleepers!). Most parents don't use harnesses all of the time. I only used them for walks when I was alone with my toddler twins (try to walk with two eighteen month olds without having one run into the street!), and in crowded outdoor areas (night time street concerts and fairs, parades, etc.). They're for parents who want to give their children freedom from the stroller, without risking them wandering off (and not every family has one or two children - some of us are on zone defense, yet don't want our children trapped in a seat).

VERY WELL SAID!

 

[kidneygirl]

I have one and use it occasionally and don't care what others think about it. I use it to keep my very quick runner from getting away from me. I even found a Mickey Mouse backpack/leash at Walmart!

 

[nosanity03]

I used one for 2 0f my 3 children when they were young. My older DS is now 22, my DD is 18 and my younger DS is 14. My 14 year old was the only one who was not a runner. All 3 are very intelligent, well adjusted and have no trust issues. I really don't see where using a harness has had any negative impacts on the way the older 2 have turned out.

 

[Dopey's twin Dippy]

im sorry i did not read all of this. i probably would take one if we were going with my daughter and family. they were here for 2 weeks, just left, grandson is almost 3 1/2 and i am still tired.......hah. he loves to go,go,go. so if we had to use his monkey one we would. it would not bother me if some one else uses them either. you do what ever keeps safe and happy.

 

[SnowandMittens]

i am not trying to be rude but i am going to honestly tell u like i think it is. i hate them i think it is horrible to do that to your child. my brother is so bad and loves running and he is now six he has been like that since he was four, and we have taken him to disney at least six times since he was four and we bring a stroller and if he wants to walk, he does. We hold his hand and keep a good eye on him but we would never put him on a leash. they way i look at it, no matter how old your child is you should trust them at least a little bit. i am not saying you are a bad parents, but if you have to buy a leash for your child because you cant look after them than maybe there is a problem here. i understand that you are doing this because you love your child and want to keep them safe but i am against it..

this is just my opnion doesnt mean you have to like it or read it i am just sharing

I'd like you to justify your opinion to one of my co-workers who's child's hand was in her grasp, he bolted as they were crossing the street and was killed by a car.

I don't care if it looks stupid, you think it's demeaning, or you don't agree with it. If it saves a kid from dying or a kidnapping and you want to use it, go for it.

 

[mickey&me]

i'd like you to justify your opinion to one of my co-workers who's child's hand was in her grasp, he bolted as they were crossing the street and was killed by a car.

I don't care if it looks stupid, you think it's demeaning, or you don't agree with it. If it saves a kid from dying or a kidnapping and you want to use it, go for it.

e x a c t l y!!!!

 

[EMom]

I beg to differ.

I don't fault anyone who uses a harness. My nephew was a real runner, with a true disability, yet he is now a remarkable 17 year old, and he never wore a harness. Yes, my sister was in good shape , but she also worked with him very carefully. Most kids with his condition never succeed as he has. He just graduated with full honors and an IB degree! Most kids with his level of disability don't even grauate. I hate to say it, but some parents DON'T make the effort to communicate with their kids or work on trust. Trust starts in infancy. One thing my sister did was co-sleep with him to calm him down at night. Most parents- most pediatricians strongly advise to put kids in a crib and let them cry it out. UGH! What does that teach them? It teaches them to not trust you. (Yet for some folks it a safer choice than co-sleeping.)

But that comes to one of my most common points about kids - no ONE thing works with all kids. Please remember this when your school district wants to impose a strict policy on all it's teachers! Maybe for some kids a harness does save their life. Maybe for others, the parents aren't trying to build trust because they assume it can't be done.

I'm sorry, but trust starts in infancy and continues through adulthood. Communication also starts from day one. (or maybe even before day one...) This is one of a very few things that is true for ALL CHILDREN!

A parent should certainly communicate to a child that the parent can be trusted. But I stick by what I said earlier. It is foolish to TRUST a toddler who is a known "runner." Some children that age simply do not have the impulse control required to stop themselves if the notion to RUN strikes them. They're not bad....They are just children who fall within the spectrum of "normal," only toward the impulsive end of normal. They will (with rare expections) eventually learn to control their impulses, but for a period of time, it is not within their ability to do so, any more than they can fly. So if you trust them to do what they are incapable of doing, you are being unrealistic, and IMHO, unfair.

I could trust my DD not to bolt and run, but that was HER. Take the next mom and child and the situation might have been entirely different. To trust that child not to run off might just be lunacy. And if you're a mom with more than one child, it is impossible to always keep an eye on both children unless you are a gecko and your eyes can move independently. What if you're a mom holding hands with two kids and the runner takes off? By the time you grab the second child and dash after the runner (or I guess you could just drag him...) the runner already has a lead. If kid #2 weighs much at all, you are never going to move as fast as the runner. And lord help you if #2 decides to hunker down and refuses to move or worse yet, decides to run the other way. I guess you could just stay holed up inside your house and get groceries delivered until they're both 4-5, but let's be realistic.

Besides all that, I thought someone made a very good point way earlier about holding hands. (I'm short, so my hand is low and this doesn't really apply to me.) They mentioned that it probably isn't that comfortable for toddlers to walk around for long periods of time with their hand up in the air, clutching an adult's hand. I thought about walking around with my arm extended upward for a long time, and I admit, it didn't seem appealing. For some toddlers, the "freedom" of a harness may be heaven compared to holding their hand up all day.

Sadly, SnowandMittens' coworker probably wishes she had trusted her child a little bit less and restrained him just a little bit more. I cannot imagine how horrible that poor mother feels. But the child was just behaving as children will and look what happened..... So what if he'd had a monkey backpack/harness on and someone thought he looked a little silly? I say big freaking deal.

 

[freepixie]

I totally agree with using a harness

 

[Mamise 62]

For those who use them, when you're in a restaurant, do you disconnect it or simply tie it to something (the table, a chair, or some other object that can't be easily moved), especially if you're worried about your youngster getting out of his or her seat and running off? Thanks.

 

[marymac123]

FYI--I just found Minnie or Mickey Backpack harnesses at Kohls dot com.
$28.00 with B1G1 1/2 off & I have a Kohls coupon of 30% off entire purchase with free shipping after $75. Not too bad-then if it's not what you thought you can return at any store. I love that place!

 

[squirrlygirl]

For those who use them, when you're in a restaurant, do you disconnect it or simply tie it to something (the table, a chair, or some other object that can't be easily moved), especially if you're worried about your youngster getting out of his or her seat and running off? Thanks.

Ours has a pocket in the back that the "tail" can be tucked in to, or it can be disconnected. As for restaurants, we don't use the harness-we still get dd a high chair and then strap her in.

 

[SnowandMittens]

For those who use them, when you're in a restaurant, do you disconnect it or simply tie it to something (the table, a chair, or some other object that can't be easily moved), especially if you're worried about your youngster getting out of his or her seat and running off? Thanks.

The parents I have seen with the harnesses only use them on children who are too young to know any better, approx. 3 or younger, and therefore at dinner, most of these children happen to be strapped into a highchair, so the harness is off.

Eating food with them in a restaurant isn't as big of a security issue, IMO, because it is a contained space. But like I said, most of the children who use harnesses would be in highchairs anyway.

 

[Mamise 62]

Just wondered what people did when their kids are a bit past the high chair stage.

We did see some people at the beach who had a longer "tether" for their harness, and they were able to tie it to the handle of their cooler so their child couldn't wander off. Presumably the cooler had drinks and ice in it, so it was heavy enough that it couldn't be moved. And the increased length meant that the child had some room to roam around a little and not be confined to one small area.

 

[vcgirl925]

We've been fortunate that our kids have not needed one, but if they I wouldn't hesitate to use it. I'd rather deal with a few stares or judgements than have a lost child.

 

[trickiwoo]

I don't have kids, so I've never used these. BUT, my parents did use them on me when I was a child! Especially at Disneyland.

I was so young, I have no memory of this at all! But according to them, I'd get so excited at Disneyland and would just run off in the crowds. They said they couldn't see me at all, and were just hoping I was on the other end of the line! (I always was!)

They've told me that they were very grateful for my "leash" and if they hadn't had it, they would have definitely lost me at Disneyland!


They never had to use one with my little brother as he would cling onto my mother and not let go!

I on the other hand was a "runner"! In fact, one time, my mom was in a changing room at a department store with me, and I slipped under the door and ran off while she was changing! She had to run out after me in her underwear!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Some of these kids can run FAST! Go ahead and add another step to your protection of him! Better safe than sorry.

And they're short and skinny. They can run under things that I can't, and squeeze through spaces that I can't.

The impetus behind our buying the harness with dd was when she was about 14 months old. We were in the airport, entering the line for security, let go of her hand for a second, and off she went straight towards security. Since she could run right under the ropes that snake the line back and forth, and obviously, we had a lot of ducking to do, there was no way we could catch up with her. Luckily, the area was pretty empty, so the security agents saw the whole thing and caught her for us.

For those who use them, when you're in a restaurant, do you disconnect it or simply tie it to something (the table, a chair, or some other object that can't be easily moved), especially if you're worried about your youngster getting out of his or her seat and running off? Thanks.

We only used the harness in crowded areas or where strollers are either too cumbersome or too confining for the child for long periods of time. So I don't really recall our dd wearing one in a restaurant. But I'm sure she must have, when stopping for a meal in a theme park at some point. I imagine we just unhooked the tether. There aren't usually the same stimuli in a restaurant that would cause a child to bolt from a seat the way there are when you're walking around a zoo or theme park, nor are they as crowded, so not as hard to give chase.

Our dd hated high chairs as much as she hated her stroller, and could wiggle out of those straps in nothing flat, too, so she was out of restaurant high chairs pretty young, as well. We usually requested booths just so she wouldn't fall off the chair, and if she tried to leave the table, we sat her on the inside, with one of us next to her so she couldn't get out.