Gave something to someone for free, now they are selling it?

[Mom of three]

Im a little ill feeling right now. Before Christmas, I saw a co-worker looking at ads on Craigslist. He said he was looking for a TV for his 4 year old daughter for a Christmas present.

We had just replaced our dd TV and had a really cute Disney Princess TV as a spare, hanging out in the closet. Remote was lost but it was in perfect condition.

I figured PERFECT! I offered it to him for free, thinking at least another little girl would put it to use.

Fast forward to 20 minutes ago, when I was perusing Craigslist, and did a search for "Disney". Guess what came up?

The TV. They were asking $60 for it.

Im 99% sure its the same TV for several reasons. One being the missing remote. It was advertised as "lost". Reason #2 is the location, reason #3 is the verbage that was used in the listing and finally...he and I had just discussed a situation where I had given my sister some baby items and she sold them on Ebay. I told him how upset I was about it and he claimed it was "funny" and actually laughed.

Im pretty disheartened by this. What would you do?

 

[luvmickey5374]

I can see how that would be upsetting! If you can't be 100% sure that it is him selling it, I would let it go. There really isn't anything you can do about it and the only thing that can come of it is ill feelings. I would ask him if his daughter is enjoying her princess tv! All in all, let it go...there are far more worse things to worry about now a days. It was awfully nice of you to give it him so be proud that you're such a great person

 

[kgle]

I think its pretty crappy...so much for paying to forward eh?

 

[Mom of three]

I think its pretty crappy...so much for paying to forward eh?

I know, right? The TV was a gift from Nana and Papa, who bought them a new one this year for Christmas. I wouldnt THINK of trying to sell it, as I didnt pay for it in the first place. It wouldnt be right.

Theres a part of me that wants to confront him about it, just so I can get it off my chest and be 100% sure about everything.

 

[dreamin_disney]

sounds like my sister uugh! Some might not see anything wrong with it as you gave it away and they can do as they please with it, BUT you sound like me-its the princple of it. If i give something from the heart to someone that i think needs it then they turn around and sell it its like a slap in the face.
I think its wrong, if they didnt want a used one then they should have said Thanks for the kind thought but no thank you.

My sis does the same thing "poor me i need this and that" then she gets stuff , turns around and sells it at her yard sales. Shes always asking me for stuff and i told her no i plan on sell it and using the money on dd. She no longer ask

Well like my would would say God will pay you back ten times more

 

[d1gitman]

While it sounds like your coworker, one can never be sure without proof.

My mom sold her old minivan to a friend of mine a yr. ago. They were going through bankruptcy, have two small kids, etc... She originally wanted $3k for it and settled for $1500 and put $500 into it, thus she really only got $1000. Fast forward 13mo. later. My friend has decided that he wants something different. There is nothing mechanically wrong with the van and it is in very good appearance. He just sold it for $3000. Kinda seems ethically wrong to me, but I am not letting it bug me. I mentioned it to my mom and she has enough years of wisdom to know that sometimes people just take advantage. I told her, well maybe now it will be in more deserving hands.

So, with your TV, if it is being sold, think of it as going to a better, more deserving place.

Also, (assuming it is your old TV for sale) maybe the tv is being sold because the coworker found out that a tv for a young kid wasn't working out like they had thought.

 

[Liann]

I'd contact him via craigslist with an unknown email acct and show up askin how much he wanted for it. My Mom n Bro are infamous for this. I'd show up at garage sales and just grab my stuff then leave.

Now it's friggin tupperware (we call all plastic containers tupperware)

We send food back n forth. My parents and Bro seem to think ALL tupperware belongs to them if it's in their house but BOY do they sure come looking for stuff they sent it here. (even if it was ours to begin with)

It's kinda funny now. My Dad and I laugh about it at least. I've gone to buying Gladware.

years n years ago we gave my Mom this HUGE smokey topaz ring set in yellow gold with little diamonds she had wanted forever. Not 2 months after Christmas she sold it at a flea mkt for half what we paid for it. We were SO pissed.

Mom was addicted to playing bingo. She is MUCH better now but we don't give her jewelry anymore.

Oh and has anyone ever gone to a garage sale where a gift from you was up for sale? How much does THAT suck?

 

[rparmfamily]

I would just tell myself that perhaps he needs the money more than me. I have had this happen...I gave a very good friend of mine lots and lots of baby clothes on up to age 4. All nice, Gymboree, Gap,etc.

She always Ebayed when she was done with it, never mentioned it to me. It was ODD and a little upsetting to see my baby girl's clothes on Ebay! I just told myself she needs the money (the truth in their case, they are very hardworking but don't make much money.) I let it go honestly.

 

[Imzadi]

...he and I had just discussed a situation where I had given my sister some baby items and she sold them on Ebay. I told him how upset I was about it and he claimed it was "funny" and actually laughed.

Im pretty disheartened by this. What would you do?

Unless you have excess money to burn, stop giving away items that you could be selling yourself on eBay or Craigslist. You've been burnt twice already.

If you really have a need to give, sell the stuff, take the money and donate it to a reputable charity which actually uses the money for good. There are also battered women's shelters where women arrive with children and have absolutely nothing except the clothes on their backs.

 

[d1gitman]

Besides, we have matured. We stopped going extravagant once we had kids

that's not called maturing,that's called necessity

we cut way back on gifts to family and friends once we had little ones.

the thing that drives me batty now is all the damn birthday parties. i don't know what age your kids are, but i can't wait to break this cycle of 15 parties a year to go to!

 

[dpaddy]

Once you give something to someone it becomes theirs to do what they wish with it. I had a similar experience when I gave a table to sister in law. We rented a trunk at a cost of $80 to drive an hour away to give her diningroom table and chairs. She sold them a month later for $500. WE could have sold it but felt that she needed it more then we needed the money. Lesson learned. We now say.......Would you like this? But if you decide to get rid of it would you mind returning to us?

I wouldnt THINK of trying to sell it, as I didnt pay for it in the first place.
Why not???? I often sell things after we have used them even if they were a gift. I sell outgrown clothes and toys my DS no longer plays with and some of them were gifts. I'd prefer that someone sell my gift and use the money to buy something they really wanted then just donate it. At least they are getting something from the gift.

 

[dahrjo]

[Oh and has anyone ever gone to a garage sale where a gift from you was up for sale? How much does THAT suck?[/QUOTE]

Yes, I went to my SIL garage sale and there was the Hi-Ho Cherrie-o game I got the kids. It was never even opened! Oh, well. I should have bought a dinosaur. I know they like those!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Op I understand why you feel the way you do. I too would be a bit miffed about it. However, you gave it to the person. It was a gift if you will. You can't give a gift with strings attatched. Once you give it it is theirs to do as they please with. Yes, it makes you feel badly sometimes but you have to remember why you gave the gift. You wanted them to have it. For whatever reason they no longer want/need it. I wouldn't take it personally.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

We gave neighbors who were struggling an old computer. We were not using it so we gave it to them for their kids to have for school. We soon saw it in their garage sale, it was annoying but what can you do. We were really upset when we found out that the mom had a drug problem and we had to assume that is what our computer went for.

 

[java]

Well that's why I stopped freecycling. I had a "disney" stuffed item that I was getting rid of- larger decorative pony. I got a "Oh doing my daughter's room over in snow white theme would be perfect."
Met her - she was older than I would have thought. And late.
Sure enough 3 days later it was on ebay. EXACT one as there was a way to tell.
Now I figure she went through the trouble of selling it- so whatever. But I just didn't like being lied to.

Another time I was in an online message board and there was someone going through hard times. They were in the military. She didn't solicite anything. Someone decided to help her have a Christmas. We all sent something for her 2 young boys.
I still hear from her now. That was a wonderful experience and I got more out of that than I gave.

 

[the Fidge]

Sorry to hear someone else feeling similar to me. I was told about a struggling family that lost everything in a fire without insurance. I had lots of stuff I had planned putting on ebay or craigs list. Honestly there was a ton of furniture, baby furniture, lamps kitchen appliances and the list goes on.

Well a friend asked me if I had anything for this family and did not speak to dh about and decided to do a good deed. They had trucks come and clear out my garage.

All of which appeared at auction and yes a nice penny was taken in for the stuff it was over a 1000. I am not a wealthy woman and honestly it did sting. The family was so thankful and I was under the impression from them that they would be using all the things they picked up.

Well I thought to myself it did help them and the money would help. My actions were to help what they did on the other hand well that not on me. DH was livid with me and I ate some crow.

My heart was in the right place and I do believe thats all that matters now.

 

[McKelly]

My SIL did this to us. She was having a really tough time making ends meet with her four kids, divorce, etc. But we had an extra car which we didn't really use much so we gave it to her. It wasn't the greatest of cars but my DH is a mechanic so it worked and everything. She sold it two weeks later for $2000.00, I was so !! And THEN, a short time after that, I found it she received $500.00 from some government program to purchase a vehicle.....we never saw that either!! She still had no car after all was said and done!!

Ten years later..............whenever I look at her, this is all I think of!!

 

[Teacher03]

I would be a little miffed too, but just remember that it was a kind gesture on your part and forget that it wasn't appreciated.

 

[jwann]

Perhaps you could say to your co-worker -- "How does you daughter like the TV? If you didn't find a use for it, we could find another good home for it."

 

[kaytieeldr]

While it sounds like your coworker, one can never be sure without proof.

Simple proof - attempt to buy it. Then, if/when proven, remind self NEVER to offer anything free to this coworker.

My mom sold her old minivan to a friend of mine a yr. ago. They were going through bankruptcy, have two small kids, etc... She originally wanted $3k for it and settled for $1500 and put $500 into it, thus she really only got $1000. Fast forward 13mo. later. My friend has decided that he wants something different. There is nothing mechanically wrong with the van and it is in very good appearance. He just sold it for $3000. Kinda seems ethically wrong to me,

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe the friend put additional work into it. Even if not, the friend DID pay for the van. Yes, it was extremely generous of the quoted poster's mom to drop her price so drastically based on the buyer's financial situation.

I wouldnt THINK of trying to sell it, as I didnt pay for it in the first place.
Why not???? I often sell things after we have used them even if they were a gift.

Understandable BUT given the time span - 'before Christmas' (November/December) to the end of February - it seems unlikely that the coworker was done with the tv after only three months.

My opinion only but the right thing to do, if the coworker had no need for the tv for whatever reason, would have been to FIRST offer to return it to the OP.