Feeling a little Frustrated

[lvs_eeyore]

My four year old will be starting K next year. Here they expect that the child will have some rudimentary reading skills. We have been trying to teach him to read but he has NO interest in it. We've tried books, computer programs, showing him letters in a store etc... and trying to get him to sound out. Nothing seems to be working. I know its early and he is young but its frustrating.

My eldest read by the age of three. Now I dont expect my youngest to mirror his brother but it concerns me that he has no interest in it at all. He seems to be on target with other things like being able to count to ten, identify numbers not in order, Identify letters not in order, can tell you the sounds of most all the letters, but reading and learning to read he has no interest.

We've even tried telling him how cool big school is and that he needs to learn to do this to go to the big school his brother goes to. He's excited about going to the big school but refuses to work on reading. He cant seem to sit still long enough to do anything with the programs or gets distracted when we are reading together.

Im rather concerned since his brother is ADHD that he may be dealing with the same thing only affecting him differently.

 

[RoqueC]

Wow, I feel bad for you and your son. I know my sister had the same problem when she was younger, and she eventually got over it. She doesn't read very often now, but atleast she knows how.

 

[EROS]

I can't speak for Florida, but our 5 year old just started Kindergarten in an excellent school system which has NO expectation that the kids can read. Each parent is different, but we're of a mind that kids should have time to be.............kids . I'm sure that your little guy will show interest in time.......

 

[lvs_eeyore]

EROS I totally agree with you. They grow up too fast. I hate it that I have work with him on this. When I went to school K was all coloring and nap time. Not so anymore. Here they start to read and are expected to have some rudimentary understanding by the time they get to K. We do make it fun for him though. We make a game out of it and when he gets frustrated we stop. We did this also with our eldest. I in NO WAY want to push him. That only leads to a very maladjusted, sad little person. I want him to be a kid first and foremost.

 

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by lvs_eeyore
My four year old will be starting K next year. Here they expect that the child will have some rudimentary reading skills. We have been trying to teach him to read but he has NO interest in it. We've tried books, computer programs, showing him letters in a store etc... and trying to get him to sound out. Nothing seems to be working. I know its early and he is young but its frustrating.

I am a teacher and IMHO, that is an unrealistic expectation.

The best thing that you can do, to instill a love of reading and create a desire to learn on his own, is to find books that HE in interested in - self-selection - and read with him. Even if it gets to the point where he has memorized the book and can "read" some of it with you, he is learning that the words on the page have meaning. Perhaps at that point he could "read" it to you.


I am sorry, but I am just streaming that they expect this. Kids will learn to read in their own time. PUSHING and FORCING only retards the process.

I had a verrrrrrrrrrrrrry good friend here recommend The Giggler Treatment by Roddy Doyle. I don't think that you'll regret it.

Best of luck to you.

 

[JohnTBap]

And when he "reads' to you - PRAISE, PRAISE, and PRAISE some more!! Don't worry if he doesn't get every word exactly right.


Remember the key is "self-selected" - make a special trip to a bookstore.

 

[mrsv98]

First off, don't worry! I have two degrees in education and my Master's is in the development of intellegence so I do speak from some experience. School today are rushing children to perform academically before they are ready. Think about it, when we were young, very few children entered Kindergarten reading, by the end of the year about half of the children could read and by the middle of 1st grade, just about everyone could read. Now, there is a tremendous amount of pressure to get children to read early. Many, many children are not mature enough to read until they are 5 or even 6 and this is developmentally appropriate.

Here is a quick test. Without your child seeing. Draw a rectangle and then draw a line from corner to corner on both sides, crossing in the middle. Show this figure to your child, let him get a good look and then take it away. Now ask him to replicate it. The ability to draw this figure has been linked reading readiness. It seems to have something to do with the eyes' ability to track words. If your son can't recreate the drawing, then he may also not be ready to read.

I would suggest that you read to your son as much as possible, using your finger to track the flow of the words. I would not mention that he should read or put any pressure on him at all. Even if he will only sit for five minutes, then read to him for five minutes. Don't worry and don't beat yourself up. Any good educational psychologist will tell you that ADHD testing shouldn't be done before 1st grade (7 yrs old) especially for boys because many times it is just a matter of maturity. Let your son develop at his own pace and you will both be a lot happier.

 

[RoqueC]

Originally posted by JohnTBap
And when he "reads' to you - PRAISE, PRAISE, and PRAISE some more!! Don't worry if he doesn't get every word exactly right.


Remember the key is "self-selected" - make a special trip to a bookstore.

I completely agree. My parents never forced me to read, and I love to read. I have a whole shelf full of books on almost every subject.

 

[janette]

I have an 8yo DD with dyslexia/reading problems. There were many early signs, she at the same age as your son could not identify most letters or numbers. It took a long time for her to master those skills. Right now she's in 2nd grade but at a mid kindergarten reading level. She can identify letters & numbers but isn't very good at most sight words and needs to start working on 2 digit numbers. I agree with posters that say let them choose the books. Right now she loves Dr Suess (partly because she has them memorized enough to have a high confidence level in reading them).

Early intervention does help so I think you are right to be concerned but it is hard to identify the problems at a young age. Behavior problems were what we started getting help for, it's hard to tell why they aren't learning when they won't sit still long enough to learn. Once we established that there were no behavior / social issues effecting her ability to learn we looked into other things.

Does he attend a pre-school or story hour? They might help to make him more ready for kindergarten as they teach in a group setting. Even if you can get him to sit and learn for you it might not be a good indicator of how he'll do in a class with 20 other students.

 

[lvs_eeyore]

Thank you so much for all your ideas and help. We just sat down with a book that he had self selected at Preschool. I was actually surprised at how many of the words he did know or could figure out by what was going on in the pictures. He SAT through a book!!!! As I read I pointed to each word and spoke it, he started speaking the words after I did. That he did totally on his own.

You all hit on the key with SELF SELECTED books. The books I have been getting have all been recommended books for learning to read. I need to follow him. My eldest just devoured anything we brought in the house so this is new for us.

I praised him a lot both during the reading of the book and after. I gave him a little treat for sitting so nicely and reading with me. I need to get some little dollar store cars and use those also. I dont want him to equate food as a reward.

We wont even consider having him tested for ADHD until he is older. We are not sure how much of his tendencies are due to mimicking his brother. If it starts being a problem in school then we might consider it but Im not letting anyone push me into doing anything. With my eldest boy we knew from the time on he was VERY small that there was something amiss. With my youngest a lot of it could be mimic.

 

[lvs_eeyore]

janette he is in preschool and his teacher said he seems to be doing well with acedemics (sp) but he is having problems with listening and staying put. He is only an early four though. At this school they dont move them up when they turn an age so most of the kids are older than he is. They move them up when the new school year begins. My son will also be a VERY early five for K.

We are also working on tracing shapes and discovered that he is VERY much a lefty, we werent sure prior to this because he would switch hands to do things. We will NOT try to change this and everyone has been told he IS a lefty and work with him as a lefty. His teacher is very good with him in this respect.

ROFL I am totally giggling over here. He is reading with my dh at the moment and is wearing his READING HAT which is a suit of armour helmet of his brothers. Whatever makes him feel good. He looks way too cute ROFL

 

[kylara]

My niece had the same problem...she didn't seem to want to read. That worried my sister since we are a family of readers...we all love it (mom, sis, me, and also my b-i-l family is the same). It wasn't until she got into first grade that she really began to enjoy reading. It was like she had an epiphany that all those words strewn together made a STORY. Somehow she had never made the connection before. Now she loves to read and she is in third grade at the top of the reading scale for her class.

 

[disykat]

Early reading is not necessarily a marker of school success. Kids learn at different rates. If your school expects kids to have some reading skills coming into K, they are just plain wrong! Whether they expect it or not I can almost guarentee you that 1/2 of the kids will not have those skills. If you want to set your mind at ease, go volunteer in a K classroom at this time of year - you'll see that just because something is being taught doesn't mean all the kids are ready for it. For most skills that are taught the ones who are ready, get it. Those who aren't ready are hopefully gaining interest and will get it on the next go around.

 

[Talking Hands]

You may consider keeping him back a year if he will be a very young 5. Don't push and let reading be fun. If he recognizes his letters even if they aren't always in order then he doesn't have a problem. Let him dictate stories he wants to tell to you and make his own books. They don't have to be perfect.
Above all keep reading to him and let him lead the way in what to read. I remember my oldest couldn't get enough of dinosaurs.

 

[snoopy]

lvs_eeyore, my oldest son had virtually NO interest in reading until first grade. Couldn't STAND to be read to (unlike my youngest, who adores it).

The most amazing thing happened in first grade, he learned to read on his own (with help for the teacher, of course) and now is an avid reader. In fact, he is now in the 2nd grade and goes out every day to the 3rd grade to read.

I wouldn't worry just yet. Some kids are just very independent and like to learn things on their own terms.

 

[janette]

If he's doing okay in academics in pre-school that is a good sign there are no problems other than maturity. You might just wait and see how he does. If his birthday it pretty close to the cutoff you might want to consider having him start school later. Some schools also have a class for kids after kindergarten that aren't quite ready for 1st grade. A good option for kids on the border.

My 8yo DD makes the age cutoff for 3rd grade, because of her reading problems and maturity level we opted to go with a younger class. Because she is classified learning disabled she has modified requirements so the school would have placed her according to age regardless of her academic status.