Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[tjmj9801]

Heather, just wanted to send you hugs. I'm so sorry that this has happened. I'm sure if your kids were upset by this trip that the trip with you will be more fun for them. In the future, I'd make sure to tell them not to tell their dad about plans y'all have made. It's a step worth taking so that he doesn't feel the need to trump your plans with the kids.

 

[BigMommaMouse]

OP - my warmest wishes to you and your children. I can think of no other better way to start a new family chapter then at Disney.

Your ex is a butt, most of them are. My ex did the same getting married and moving without telling me or our daughter. After his wedding he was involved with our daughter in the very beginning..... then he settled with his new family and never bothered with her again. Until I got married, then he asked if my DH would adopt her so he would not have to pay anymore child support.

Time heals and so will you trip!

 

[KELLY]

Just go. Don't worry about it. You will have a diffrent type of fun with your kids. Mine is a totally diffrent situation but my parents are bringing my oldest in 4 weeks on the disney dream then to disney for a 2 week vacation. Then she gets back is home for 2 weeks and we go again. I'm sure the trip with my parents will be something I cannot compare to. They are doing a cruise and then they are going to POFQ . While we stay at pop during FD. I'm not worried about it.

We have PL scheduled,T-rex (she is doing this with my parents also),hairwraps and other things I plan on doing. So our trip will be diffrent but I'm sure your kids will be upset if you cancle since vacation is about spending time with family.

 

[JoshuaShaw]

Ok reading all the replies and the Disney snob in me is coming out but: ha ha ha, not ON property? Seriously can you even call that a Disney vacation?

I'm sure you don't mean to sound like an elitist, but that's a pretty awful attitude to have.

Having never stayed on Disney property (but hope to someday), I still consider all of my trips to Disney "real" and I wouldn't change anything about them simply to stay on property.

 

[goofyredraider]

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I say go, enjoy your babies, and the fruits of your hard work together. Make memories together, and do not let *this* ruin your time with your kiddos. These are YOUR memories to make with them, and they will remember the fun time they had with their mom planning this trip.

 

[agame2323]

Okay, I might get flamed for this but…I don’t care and everyone knows it. lol. I’m sorry to hear your ex is such a loser that he would undercut you by taking the kids somewhere HE KNOW you where planning to take them. However, I think this works in your favor. TAKE THEM TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS to check out Harry Potter world!

Introduce them to something completely new. Stay onsite and get front of the line access to all the new rides. Forget Disney. He beat you to it but it doesn’t mean you can’t create all new memories for your kids. I honestly believe they’ll enjoy Universal a whole lot. Not to mention it will be a cheaper trip than Disney. Think about it.

 

[dudelydude]

Well after 52,000 responses, you probably aren't even reading replies anymore. And, you've already read responses that cover all bases. I just wanted to say that (in a very small way) I can relate. I have a very similar setup to yours, however, the mom with kids in this case is my DGF who moved to Illinois from Texas with her 4 girls and they all live with me now. She has hardly any money, but announced to me a few months back that we are going to Disneyworld this summer (which I love) and we are surprising the girls. Some time passed and it occurred to me to tell her to make sure she does NOT tell her vindictive ex what we are doing. He seems to be as big a jerk as your ex. and may attempt to do this while the girls are visiting him over a spring, summer or christmas break in TX. So she didn't tell him, but did write something to a Texas friend on facebook and I told her to delete it as this person may mention it to the girls or the her ex. She deleted it and we are being SO careful now. They leave in a couple of weeks for a 3 week stay in Texas, come home and then off to WDW we go. I'm still slightly worried that he can mess this up for us, but I'm he hasn't given any indication. As for you, just go on the trip....your kids are SO torn up right now being there with him, that maybe even he will see what an awful thing he did (not to you) but to them as they were a big part of your planning.

Good luck
J

 

[dudelydude]

Okay, I might get flamed for this but…I don’t care and everyone knows it. lol. I’m sorry to hear your ex is such a loser that he would undercut you by taking the kids somewhere HE KNOW you where planning to take them. However, I think this works in your favor. TAKE THEM TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS........

And although I wanted to flame this person, OP, this is not such a bad idea, but I'd only do this for a day as a change of pace to WDW and not make my entire vaca at Universal.

 

[Poohbug]

My parents divorced when I was a teenager, so this is the viewpoint of a child going though a divorce.

1) A trip to Disney with my Father would be totally different that a trip with my Mother. There really is no comparing the two. (not as though my Father would ever take me to Disney)

2) A big reason that WDW is so special to me is because my Mom took my sister and I there after the divorce. My Mom was very dependent on my Dad-she had to learn to do so many things for herself, vacations were one of them. When we planned and went on that trip by ourselves it was a huge accomplishment. It made me realize that my Mom would be OK and life would be OK.

Your kids want YOU to be OK and move on with your life. They want you to be happy. Please make a conscious decision to not let your ex's actions effect what you do. He wants to make you mad, sad and diminish your self esteem-don't let him. You can't control what he does, only how you react. You can't let what he does bother you so much that it distracts you from living your life and parenting your kids the way you want.

You NEED to go on that trip. Go, have fun as a family and make your own memories.

Oh, and I would never complain about having to go to WDW twice in one year or even one month.

 

[tjmj9801]

I'm sure you don't mean to sound like an elitist, but that's a pretty awful attitude to have.

Having never stayed on Disney property (but hope to someday), I still consider all of my trips to Disney "real" and I wouldn't change anything about them simply to stay on property.

She's just trying to make OP feel better. Lighten up. Until our last trip, we'd never stayed on property either. Trust me when I say that the first trip you make where you do stay on property, it's amazing. So much that we've sworn off trips until we are able to stay on property again.

 

[tjmj9801]

Okay, I might get flamed for this but…I don’t care and everyone knows it. lol. I’m sorry to hear your ex is such a loser that he would undercut you by taking the kids somewhere HE KNOW you where planning to take them. However, I think this works in your favor. TAKE THEM TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS to check out Harry Potter world!

Introduce them to something completely new. Stay onsite and get front of the line access to all the new rides. Forget Disney. He beat you to it but it doesn’t mean you can’t create all new memories for your kids. I honestly believe they’ll enjoy Universal a whole lot. Not to mention it will be a cheaper trip than Disney. Think about it.

And although I wanted to flame this person, OP, this is not such a bad idea, but I'd only do this for a day as a change of pace to WDW and not make my entire vaca at Universal.

I don't think suggesting another park is flame-worthy. However, OP did say that she already has tickets for Disney. Someone gave them to her and I'm sure it would be a struggle to afford a new set of tickets at this point.

 

[dislaney]

Sorry your ex did this, but you just need to go on with your plans and enjoy your trip with your kids. Trust me the trip with you will be totally different then the one with their Dad.

 

[hebbynan]

Talk to your kids about it. Maybe they didn't do certain things with their dad that they WANT to do with you. If your DD texted you that she was sorry, she obviously knows how important your trip was going to be to you. Your kids may surprise you - they may still be looking forward to going with YOU.

I wish you luck in your decision and whatever may happen. I've seen this type of divorice with friends of ours. It's never good for anyone involved. But it sounds like you're showing your children that you can over come it. Best wishes to you and your children.

 

[Disney Fool]

And for those of you who haven't read the previous posts, it is not an option to change her plans now. She has passed the 30 day mark to cancel the DVC she rented at AKV. Money is tight--she can't change her plans. but, we can all help her change her outlook! Let's all think positively, and suggest some really cool things she can do with her children while at Disney.

 

[southbarringtonjen]

Something doesn't add up here...

The divorce was final June 3rd, a Friday. You stated he was married that Friday in an elaborate church wedding followed by Mexico honeymoon. How does one plan an elaborate wedding and honeymoon when they don't know the day they will even be legally allowed to marry? So the entire guest list was given a few hours notice to show up once the divorce became final? Unlikely. A honeymoon planned at the last second? Doubtful.

The children aren't allowed to the wedding, and how could they with only a few hours notice in another state, and now have their cell phones turned off. Seems like extra drama for the sake of drama.

Then, after being gone on a honeymoon, he turns around and is gone another 2 weeks in Disney? This person has no job? Is very wealthy? To be able to afford a wedding, honeymoon, and 2 weeks in Disney in the same month he must be able to afford it and child support (possibly spousal support) payments would be quite large. Yet you seem to be struggling financially... You also claimed your DVC was foreclosed on, so is his new bride the source of all this suddenly found money?

Something doesn't add up.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Okay, I might get flamed for this but…I don’t care and everyone knows it. lol. I’m sorry to hear your ex is such a loser that he would undercut you by taking the kids somewhere HE KNOW you where planning to take them. However, I think this works in your favor. TAKE THEM TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS to check out Harry Potter world!

Introduce them to something completely new. Stay onsite and get front of the line access to all the new rides. Forget Disney. He beat you to it but it doesn’t mean you can’t create all new memories for your kids. I honestly believe they’ll enjoy Universal a whole lot. Not to mention it will be a cheaper trip than Disney. Think about it.

All I can say is: AWESOME IDEA!!!
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (WWOHP) IS AMAZING The Hulk is still one of the best coasters out there! It is cheaper too. Not sure how your rented point would work. Could you calla nd see if you can reschedule or sell them back? If you explained what happened you might get a sympathetic DVCer

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

This thread just reminded me that people can love one another so much that they decide to marry and have children and at the drop of a hat completely hate that same person...

Always makes me wonder how that seems to happen so often and so easily...

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I'm sure you don't mean to sound like an elitist, but that's a pretty awful attitude to have.

Having never stayed on Disney property (but hope to someday), I still consider all of my trips to Disney "real" and I wouldn't change anything about them simply to stay on property.

Sorry, I have to agree with the other poster. FOR ME it is not a real Disney vacation unless I'm on property. I can't even imagine going and not being on property.

 

[torinsmom]

Sorry, I have to agree with the other poster. FOR ME it is not a real Disney vacation unless I'm on property. I can't even imagine going and not being on property.

I think there are equal numbers of people who feel the same way about staying offsite. I can't imagine sharing one room and one bathroom with just my son for a week. We really like spreading out. To each their own.....

 

[torinsmom]

This thread just reminded me that people can love one another so much that they decide to marry and have children and at the drop of a hat completely hate that same person...

Always makes me wonder how that seems to happen so often and so easily...

I don't know anything about the OP's situation, but it takes two people who are willing to work out their problems to keep things together when things get rough. My ex was not willing to do that. When the going gets tough, some people just give up. There was nothing I could do to make him have the strength to work on the marriage. FWIW, I don't hate my ex. I hate his behavior sometimes, but I could never hate someone who is a part of my son.