Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[TDC Nala]

I'd still go, but I might think about rescheduling to a different date, just because that would be two trips so close together. That was so spiteful of your ex though, and I can't believe he didn't have his children at his wedding!

She can't really reschedule, as she is renting DVC points. Depending on the contract it is possible she will lose something for the room, as if she cancels now those points go into holding and are more difficult for the member to dispose of. She could ask the member about a cancellation or rescheduling if she really does not want to make the trip.

 

[Bunnyfeather]

Everything was good until your last line. This is the type of passive-aggressive comment that is all to common on these threads that make it seem like the dad is evil.

Huh? There are very good reasons why my ex is my ex, and he is not evil at all. There are, conversely, very good reasons that I am my ex's ex, and I am not evil. People can be horribly suited to one another, drive each other insane, have no capacity for peace in each other's presence...and still both be perfectly lovely individuals.

 

[declansdad]

I think the other quote I included was more of a lie than what you posted. (Implying that maybe the mom knew about the wedding ahead of time and just wouldn't allow the kids to be there)

Sorry about that.

But I STILL don't see a scenario where the dad in good faith would plan a trip for 2 weeks before their long-awaited and planned trip where he did it for anything less than a spiteful reason. Maybe you could explain away why he might not TELL her in advance (if we go with your assumption that she's a "bitter" ex. Your word, not mine.)

BUT........... I can still think of NO scenario where he would plan his own trip 2weeks before hers for ANY good reason (whether he told her in advance or not).

I didn't say she lied, I stated there may be other reasons for the dad doing what he did. Why is is such a crime to point out that there could be more to the story?

 

[declansdad]

Now see, I was not being passive-aggressive nor do I think the dad is automatically evil. I was simply reminding the OP that there was a reason why she and this man were no longer together, and judging by her comments, she is happy to be rid of him. Maybe it was all his fault, maybe it was hers. I don’t know and I don’t need to know. What I do know is that something between them didn’t work. It’s over, it’s done (both the marriage and the surprise trip to Disney) so to do anything other than happy that her kids had a great trip would be pointless. The only way she stands to gain anything is by putting on her big girl panties and learning to deal civilly with the man who for the rest of, oh, EVER will be the father of her children.

My apologizes then, it is hard to read tone and given the context of the discussion, I read it the other way.

 

[Rip]

I think the other quote I included was more of a lie than what you posted. (Implying that maybe the mom knew about the wedding ahead of time and just wouldn't allow the kids to be there)

Sorry about that.

But I STILL don't see a scenario where the dad in good faith would plan a trip for 2 weeks before their long-awaited and planned trip where he did it for anything less than a spiteful reason. Maybe you could explain away why he might not TELL her in advance (if we go with your assumption that she's a "bitter" ex. Your word, not mine.)

I said bitter because it's pretty obvious that she is bitter towards him. She may very well have good reason to be, so it wasn't meant as a slight against her.

BUT........... I can still think of NO scenario where he would plan his own trip 2weeks before hers for ANY good reason (whether he told her in advance or not).

I can, it's possible that this is the only time he was going to have them for this long before school starts back. It could be that this was the only time during their summer vacation that he could take off of work. There are plenty of plausable reasons for the timing that don't require him being a dick, and then again maybe he's just a dick.

 

[guzzy]

All of u should be ashamed of yourselves. I came on this board to get advice like everyone on here. Instead I see individuals passing judgement on a women who was obviously upset and obviously cares for her children. There is no wrong or right answer to her questions and we need to respectful of others opinions and feelings. No need to be rude or get into arguements or be accusatory to each other. Afterall we are here because we all love the happiest place on earth aren't we?

 

[mom2rtk]

I said bitter because it's pretty obvious that she is bitter towards him. She may very well have good reason to be, so it wasn't meant as a slight against her.





I can, it's possible that this is the only time he was going to have them for this long before school starts back. It could be that this was the only time during their summer vacation that he could take off of work. There are plenty of plausable reasons for the timing that don't require him being a dick, and then again maybe he's just a dick.

I don't really see "bitter" as a neutral term. It comes across as fairly negative.

And even if that were his only time to go, if she already had that trip in the works and he made the decision to still go 2 weeks ahead of her, I'm sorry, but it's a rotten thing to do.

I didn't say she lied, I stated there may be other reasons for the dad doing what he did. Why is is such a crime to point out that there could be more to the story?

Sorry, but when she said the kids weren't invited to the wedding and you imply they WERE but she wouldn't let them go, that's accusing her of more than "leaving out some facts". That's pretty much accusing her of lying.

 

[chimo2u]

All of u should be ashamed of yourselves. I came on this board to get advice like everyone on here. Instead I see individuals passing judgement on a women who was obviously upset and obviously cares for her children. There is no wrong or right answer to her questions and we need to respectful of others opinions and feelings. No need to be rude or get into arguements or be accusatory to each other. Afterall we are here because we all love the happiest place on earth aren't we?

ITA~ This thread has derailed fast, 24 pages later and the whole initial tone of the post has been lost along the way.
not surprising though...

OP: I hope you can salvage your trip and make new memories with your beautiful children....make the trip about new beginnings, you had it right in the beginning, that's all that truly matters.
I wish you much happiness!

 

[excited4dis]

After going back to read the op's first post, I realized she has said their children have been there 12 times before. Therefore, she has experienced Disney World with the kids before.

I am not taking either side, but it is quite possible that since they have been so many times before, the father didn't see a big deal about taking them before her. No one really knows if he was being vindictive or just didn't give it much thought. The only person here that knows him better than us is the original poster. The rest of us can only assume.

However, that wasn't really what the op came here for. It seemed she really wanted to know how to make her trip special so the kids don't seem tired out.

I think it's a good idea to ask the kids what they would like to do on their next trip to Disney. No need to compete, just try to make it different so it's not repetitive.

I hope the kids enjoy both of their vacations with both of their parents.

Now, can we just get back to some Disney fun?

 

[Invisable89]

Wow, this thread has gotten completely out of control. Some of the posts on here are just plain out horrible! We don't know her ex & i think she knows him a darn sight better than us! I personally can't think of a good reason why on earth somebody would do this but at the same time i'm not going to think about it too much as it's none of my buisness. All the OP wanted was some help & advice on what to do, she doesn't deserve a lecture or people picking holes into her personal life, we have no right. If she wants to share some of her personal life though, that is up to her.

Criiiiiiikey.

 

[declansdad]

Sorry, but when she said the kids weren't invited to the wedding and you imply they WERE but she wouldn't let them go, that's accusing her of more than "leaving out some facts". That's pretty much accusing her of lying.

I didn't imply anything.

 

[Sammie]

Obviously many of you do not realize when you rent DVC points, you "can't" cancel without losing all of your money and more than likely at this late of date you can not even reschedule.

So those are not options for the OP.

As I stated early on, Go, do not make it into a competition to see how one can up the other, no one wins, especially the kids.

Put it behind you and go on as planned. Ask the kids what they would like to do.

And to everyone that has their feelings on their sleeves. This is a public forum, this is not your lunch with your best friends. If you can't take all opinions then best to forget about posting on public forums.

 

[DisneyChristmas]

You go girl! Go to WDW as planned. Your children will appreciate the trip that they worked for much more than the one that was given them as a token gotch-ya at you.

Nobody knows another person's lilfe or why this man did this to you and your kids. You can't control it.

But you have every opportunity and every right to control your reaction to it. Go to WDW. Do everything that you'd planned. Show your children how to be loving, and fearless, and how to be the winner that you are!

 

[1971DBday]

Oh, look I see Mickey!!!!

There distraction...now back to the OP topic.....

 

[hereyago]

Take your kids. So your ex wanted to be a blank-i'm sure to rattle your cage perhaps or maybe look "good" in the eyes of his new wife, 2 birds with 1 stone sort of thing.

but here's the thing: the vacation you planned is with YOU and your kids, why reschedule? for what? because he took them on a vacation to the same place? there is a lot to do at WDW is he going to do everything thing you had planned? doubt it. big whoop. if he is the jerk, trust me your kids will figure it out for themselves, you don't need to reschedule or anything like that.

you know what the best revenge is? living well. your ex is nothing to you, why let him affect you? I agree with another poster who said let your kids know you are happy that they were able to go on a trip with him. never let him see you sweat.

Also another poster suggested other parks. maybe mix it up, 1 day at Sea World-do a behind the scenes tour pet a penguin,etc.

 

[hereyago]

My parents divorced when I was a teenager, so this is the viewpoint of a child going though a divorce.

1) A trip to Disney with my Father would be totally different that a trip with my Mother. There really is no comparing the two. (not as though my Father would ever take me to Disney)

2) A big reason that WDW is so special to me is because my Mom took my sister and I there after the divorce. My Mom was very dependent on my Dad-she had to learn to do so many things for herself, vacations were one of them. When we planned and went on that trip by ourselves it was a huge accomplishment. It made me realize that my Mom would be OK and life would be OK.

Your kids want YOU to be OK and move on with your life. They want you to be happy. Please make a conscious decision to not let your ex's actions effect what you do. He wants to make you mad, sad and diminish your self esteem-don't let him. You can't control what he does, only how you react. You can't let what he does bother you so much that it distracts you from living your life and parenting your kids the way you want.

You NEED to go on that trip. Go, have fun as a family and make your own memories.

Oh, and I would never complain about having to go to WDW twice in one year or even one month.

I just wanted to say this was so well written and sums it up.

 

[Elcheetah]

I´m so mad about what he did!!!! Anyway, don´t let that in the way of your vacation, your kids will have more fun with you.

 

[Mickey1Fan]

Heather - Have a magical trip with your kids. You always remember the most recent as the best time ever! Your little family has worked hard and deserves to celebrate new beginnings.

Blessings
Lynda

 

[Chipndalenut]

I'm so sorry to hear what happened The vacation that YOU and your CHILDREN have been working on TOGETHER for MONTHS is the one they have been waiting for and working towards All of the excitement with the special count down, the money box and EVERYONE'S IDEAS WILL BE FAR MORE SPECIAL because you made THEM a part of it !!!

I would bet that even as adults, they will NEVER forget the time that Mom worked SO HARD to save EVERY penny in a special box, made an exciting count down and let them help plan one of the best trips to WDW they ever had

Have a WONDERFUL time...you sound like an AWESOME Mom

 

[kikiq]

I'm so sorry to hear what happened The vacation that YOU and your CHILDREN have been working on TOGETHER for MONTHS is the one they have been waiting for and working towards All of the excitement with the special count down, the money box and EVERYONE'S IDEAS WILL BE FAR MORE SPECIAL because you made THEM a part of it !!!

I would bet that even as adults, they will NEVER forget the time that Mom worked SO HARD to save EVERY penny in a special box, made an exciting count down and let them help plan one of the best trips to WDW they ever had

Have a WONDERFUL time...you sound like an AWESOME Mom

All this and more!

Remember OP, you planned this with your children to get a new start for yourselves. Let it be just that. Maybe you might have to change a few ADRs because the kids want to try something else. But in the end, it's you and your children making NEW memories together.