Dysfunctional Families

[Wishing on a star]

Excellent post here!!! I totally agree.

So to add to the understanding how this would be considered "toxic"....
Your parent is being hostile toward you (refusal to buckle) and the innocent is the child. Hostility is toxic.
The fact that you pretend this is a "philosophic disagreement" could be fear of becoming an adult with the parent, taking charge, or putting down your lines in the sand.

The above example is not simply 'dysfunctional'. I have many disfunctional relatives whom I am happy to see, and for my DS to spend time with.

Toxic and dysfunctional are two VERY different things.

The hostility and the control issues are indeed VERY toxic.

Being dysfunctional and not seeing the need for seatbelts is 'dysfunctional', being hostile and disrepectful to the parents regarding the use of seatbelts with the innocent child, THAT is 'toxic'.

While I have no problem with many other disfunctional relatives, I have completely pulled away from FIL, and have refused to spend time with he and MIL, and have refused to let DS be left alone with them (without me).

PS: The whole 'philosophical argument' and 'moral obligation' to put up the toxicity is the biggest crock of crap that I have ever heard. there is NEVER a phillosophical disagreement with parenting issues, because the only opinion that should even be considered is the parents!. Nobody, not even relatives have the right to make demands and cause disagreement in your parenting decisions, and your marriage decisions. Just because good old Grammie, or FIL, happen to be family does not obligate me to accept their behavior and meet their demands.