Does anyone else feel like this... For Women Only

[ericafny]

DH says nothing basically, but I know he doesn't exactly like how I look, which makes me feel like crap because I had his 2 children. He probably would be looking at the 25 yr. olds when I"m not looking...wish my DH felt that way , he thinks I should look like I live in Laguna Beach. Even if I want to focus on my little kids and have fun he will stare at my belly pouch and make me want to cry!

Please tell me you are exaggerating here about your DH. No man should make you feel that way because you don't have a perfect body like the girls on tv.

You should try to ignore him and focus on your children and how proud you are to be a mother. How dare he treat you that way.

 

[Tinkerbelle32]

Well, I'm 33 with two kids. Never have been a size 3 and never will be. For the last umpteen years I've been a size 10. My problem is my inner thighs too! I look better in a two piece ( bra type top and skirted bottom) but am still self-conscious when going to a pool. I've batteled my weight my whole life and I am getting sick to death of doing it. I swear I've been on a diet for the last 10 years of my life. No more! Swim, have fun, and who cares what anyone else thinks!! Tink

 

[BabyFu18]

I have to say I'm 22 and I am self conscience going to the pools and water parks on vacation, because unlike people who are married and to busy with their children and families to sit and judge others, people my age judge each other all the time. I just try to tell myself I'm there to have fun and I'm not going to let being self conscience ruin my trip. Anyone can come in and tell you not to worry what other people think, but believe me I'm sure we all know it's much easier said than done.

 

[formernyer]

I am going to get flamed for this I'm sure, but I'm going to add to the comment I made on the first page.

My body is far from perfect, but I worked hard to stay a size 2, even though I'm 36 and had two kids. I prefer to wear bikinis (tasteful) and even though I am self-conscious about the way I look I know I'm not drawing any negative stares or attention because of the way I am dressed.

That being said, I have SERIOUS problems with overweight people wearing two piece bathing suits in public. I think you should all feel comfortable wearing swimsuits in public, swimming in public, and enjoying yourselves just the same as the slender people; however, I find that MOST overweight people wear bathing suits that are highly inappropriate. Not only do very few overweight people choose suits with skirts, but a HUGE percentage of them wear bikinis. How can you expect to NOT get stared at when you're wearing suits that show off a lot more of the fat than needs to be shown? I don't stare at overweight people just because they are wearing swimsuits, but I do stare at the ones in bikinis and wonder how/why they would choose to make us all look at that.

I also noticed a lot of people in this thread claiming that they were size 12s and 14s, but not fat. Sorry, but unless you are over 6 feet tall a size 12 is way too big to be wearing a two-piece suit or a skimpy one-piece suit.

I guess my point is this...
Most overweight people aren't stared at because they are overweight...they are stared at because they are overweight and dressing like they're a size 4.

 

[Grace&Carolinesmom]

I agree with everyone here...wear your bathing suit and have a good time. I, too am overweight at a size 18. Yes, I hate my belly and thighs and cellulite and double chin and blah blah blah. I realized a few years ago that I care about my weight alot more than anyone else does and anyone who is superficial enough to be judging my weight has their own insecurities and I actually feel sorry for them. On a similar note, not only do I plan to go into the pool in my tasteful bathing suit but since I am on vacation I will not be wearing make-up in the parks either! If my splotchy skin and pimples horrify others..so be it. Its a vacation and I am going to have fun and spend priceless time with my children and husband. Anyone who wants to judge will take their opinions home with them and I will take home beautiful memories of my daughters laughing and smiling and happy that mommy and daddy were happy too

Life is too short. Someday on your deathbed you will NOT be thinking of other people's opinions but only of the time you shared with your loved ones.

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

That being said, I have SERIOUS problems with overweight people wearing two piece bathing suits in public.

Wow... I'm glad you started this post with the assumption you would get flamed, because you deserve to be flamed for the comments you made here. You aimed to hurt. Why? I go between a size 2 and 4 and have a BMI of 19. I would not be considered heavy by any stretch of the imagination. I must say, the fact that you have "SERIOUS problems" with overweight people wearing something identical to what you are wearing in public raises the question: "What difference should it make to YOU???" You are a 36-year-old, middle aged mom, still wearing bikinis, claiming you know you are not getting any negative stares. Frankly, if you pranced around the pool and acted like the Queen of Sheba in person like you just did in this thread, you'd get at least four negative stares, from my entire family. Will you still be wearing a bikini at 40? At 45? At 50? If you have this attitude that everyone's appearance is yours to judge, and take it as a personal affront if it doesn't meet your approval, I truly feel sorry for your daughter... growing up with an example of criticism, and possibly the competitive, exhibitionist type of mom (afterall, you ARE wearing a bikini in middle age... ***GASP!!!***). ~Ev

 

[Babs50]

I'm 50 and no where near the size I was on my honeymoon at the Poly pool and visiting River Country! I love buying suits from a Lands End catalog. The selection is great and you don't have to try the suits on. I will still enjoy my hotel pool at the CSR this July and enjoy the attractions at the water parks!

 

[msteddom]

I am going to get flamed for this I'm sure, but I'm going to add to the comment I made on the first page.

My body is far from perfect, but I worked hard to stay a size 2, even though I'm 36 and had two kids. I prefer to wear bikinis (tasteful) and even though I am self-conscious about the way I look I know I'm not drawing any negative stares or attention because of the way I am dressed.

That being said, I have SERIOUS problems with overweight people wearing two piece bathing suits in public. I think you should all feel comfortable wearing swimsuits in public, swimming in public, and enjoying yourselves just the same as the slender people; however, I find that MOST overweight people wear bathing suits that are highly inappropriate. Not only do very few overweight people choose suits with skirts, but a HUGE percentage of them wear bikinis. How can you expect to NOT get stared at when you're wearing suits that show off a lot more of the fat than needs to be shown? I don't stare at overweight people just because they are wearing swimsuits, but I do stare at the ones in bikinis and wonder how/why they would choose to make us all look at that.

I also noticed a lot of people in this thread claiming that they were size 12s and 14s, but not fat. Sorry, but unless you are over 6 feet tall a size 12 is way too big to be wearing a two-piece suit or a skimpy one-piece suit.

I guess my point is this...
Most overweight people aren't stared at because they are overweight...they are stared at because they are overweight and dressing like they're a size 4.

Thanks for perpetuating the "skinny people are mean" stereotype. You obviously fit the bill. The tone of this thread was friendly and supportive untill you chimed it.

Melissa

 

[Tinkerbelle32]

Formernyer- You are way wrong on this one!!! A body type or size also depends on how much muscle or in shape a person is. My friend is a size 12 but very physically fit and muscular. She looks AWESOME in her two piece. I'm a size 10 sometimes even a 12 depends on the brand name of jeans and I'm 5 ft 9. I'm not anywhere near fat! Don't understand why you would purposely try to make people feel bad! Tink

 

[snowwite]

I read this post right before I headed out w/DD to buy bathing suits for our trip in April.I am a size 18 and she is a 14. Before I had kids and medical problems I wore a size 7 but that was a long time ago.There may be some people who still look the same at 40 as they did at 20 but not as many as there are who look thier age. Would I like to look younger , sure but not if it meant trading a minute of being a mom.Buy a suit that fits,polish your toes and go to the pool. When we went to Bahamas the welcome lady said This is Bahamas Mon, No one knows you here ,so relax! I think of that every time we are on vacation.When we go to the pool at AKL I think this is Disney,No one knows you here and it helps me relax.I disagree with formernyers post. The average woman wears a size 10-14 not a size 2. Even Marilyn Monroe was not a toothpick and she is still considered the sexiest woman ever.I think most people that tiny are that way genetically.If it is because of your diet and exercize then I have one word for you...FOOD. Try some. I am kidding, of course, but the tone of your post was pretty mean.Perhaps you didnt mean it to be but it is offensive to a lot of people.Most women try to dress appropriately. There are some in all different sizes that make poor fashion choices. It does not matter if you are a 2 or a 20 no one wants or needs to see your butt cheeks or worse hanging out (IMHO) it is just not a good look for anybody. I also buy suits that cover me in a flattering way.We saw binkinis today in my size and I just kept thinking.Just because they make it in my size does not mean it is a good idea to buy one but I found one that covers my belly so yes,I got a tankini with a long top.It is cool and I will go to the pool and to Typhoon lagoon and the OP who wants to go should too. We are all so much more than a few digits on a scale! The beutiful people we are inside matters so much more than the handful of dust we reside in.

 

[Vijoge]

I don't think too many people are all that concerned about how someone else looks. I think it's a shame that we're so self-concious about our appearance that we miss out on doing things we really love because we're afraid of what a complete stranger might think.

 

[kaysmommie]

Please tell me you are exaggerating here about your DH. No man should make you feel that way because you don't have a perfect body like the girls on tv.

You should try to ignore him and focus on your children and how proud you are to be a mother. How dare he treat you that way.

No exxageration he makes me feel like crap because I"m chunky now and not sixe 2 anymore. I try not to let it bother me though. It's funny becuase we got married everyone laughed becuase they say he married up so to speak and I never felt I was better than anyone so I thought they were shallow saying I married a not so good looking guy. I've always cared more about inner beauty and he turned out to be "SHALLOW HAL" who would've thought! My children are most important to me not 20 extra lbs.

 

[TDC Nala]

Wander on over to Typhoon Lagoon sometime. The size threes make up maybe .0008% of the population.

I've been a size 12 since I WAS 12 and have always been self conscious because I wasn't a size 3, but then what size is a 5 foot 8 woman expected to wear? I am within the normal weight range for my height, but underweight is what's aesthetically preferred now, so I think I ought to lose weight. Somewhere along the line we all started thinking it was best to be a stick figure.

And BDG is right about the men..when you go to Typhoon Lagoon, count how many of them are actually in shape.

 

[Vijoge]

Thanks for perpetuating the "skinny people are mean" stereotype. You obviously fit the bill. The tone of this thread was friendly and supportive untill you chimed it.

Melissa

She ain't mean-she's hungry. Toss that dog a carrot, somebody.

 

[formernyer]

No, I'm not mean...I'm honest. I agree that people of every size should be able to swim and be seen in public in bathing suits and they shouldn't feel self-conscious or out of place. My problem is with people who don't dress appropriately for their size. I have a decent body, but I don't wear short skirts, low-cut shirts, or tight clothing. The point is to not draw any attention to oneself. I wear two-piece suits (and NOT skimpy ones) because I appear very flat in a one-piece. The suits I wear are fine for my age and I don't look like a teeny-bopper wannabe. I don't wear slutty clothing because it isn't appropriate or flattering...and overweight people shouldn't wear bikinis because it isn't flattering. That's my only point. If you are overweight and don't want to be stared at, then dress appropriately for your size. It's as simple as that.

 

[ihearttink]

I want to thank everyone (well 99% of you) for your posts, men included. I knew 1 of 2 of you would have to peek LOL. I was brought to tears by most of the posts here.

I never really worried about what men thought of how I looked, just the women. At first I thought that was funny, but than formernyer posted and, well women are more "unforgiving" about other women look. Some can be down right catty. Also, even when I was a size 3 I never wore a bikini. Never really liked showing to much skin even when I had less of it to show.

I had cervical disk surgery in 1996 that didn't turn out to well. Like a few other's here I too live with pain on a daily basis. I take 6 different meds daily and it controls the pain, never really gone totally, so I do get to do things. I also get tired very fast.

when I get to Disney and it's time to go to the pool I will say to my self "Remember the disboards". With all this support how can I not have fun!

Again THANK YOU SO MUCH!

 

[kaysmommie]

Wow... I'm glad you started this post with the assumption you would get flamed, because you deserve to be flamed for the comments you made here. You aimed to hurt. Why? I go between a size 2 and 4 and have a BMI of 19. I would not be considered heavy by any stretch of the imagination. I must say, the fact that you have "SERIOUS problems" with overweight people wearing something identical to what you are wearing in public raises the question: "What difference should it make to YOU???" You are a 36-year-old, middle aged mom, still wearing bikinis, claiming you know you are not getting any negative stares. Frankly, if you pranced around the pool and acted like the Queen of Sheba in person like you just did in this thread, you'd get at least four negative stares, from my entire family. Will you still be wearing a bikini at 40? At 45? At 50? If you have this attitude that everyone's appearance is yours to judge, and take it as a personal affront if it doesn't meet your approval, I truly feel sorry for your daughter... growing up with an example of criticism, and possibly the competitive, exhibitionist type of mom (afterall, you ARE wearing a bikini in middle age... ***GASP!!!***). ~Ev

I couldn't agree more.... This is Disney, everyone should be allowed to enjoy themselves without rude people hurting there feelings. Maybe she has all the time in the world to exercise and diet. Spend more time on being a good person because beauty fades eventually!

 

[kaysmommie]

I want to thank everyone (well 99% of you) for your posts, men included. I knew 1 of 2 of you would have to peek LOL. I was brought to tears by most of the posts here.

I never really worried about what men thought of how I looked, just the women. At first I thought that was funny, but than formernyer posted and, well women are more "unforgiving" about other women look. Some can be down right catty. Also, even when I was a size 3 I never wore a bikini. Never really liked showing to much skin even when I had less of it to show.

I had cervical disk surgery in 1996 that didn't turn out to well. Like a few other's here I too live with pain on a daily basis. I take 6 different meds daily and it controls the pain, never really gone totally, so I do get to do things. I also get tired very fast.

when I get to Disney and it's time to go to the pool I will say to my self "Remember the disboards". With all this support how can I not have fun!

Again THANK YOU SO MUCH!

That is just lousy that your in pain. Whenver you are going to Disney have a wonderful vacation!

 

[ihearttink]

I couldn't agree more.... This is Disney, everyone should be allowed to enjoy themselves without rude people hurting there feelings. Maybe she has all the time in the world to exercise and diet. Spend more time on being a good person because beauty fades eventually!

Your post made me think of Judge Judy. She has a book, Beauy Fades, Dumb is Forever. It cracked me up.

 

[sweetinmaine]

No, I'm not mean...I'm honest. I agree that people of every size should be able to swim and be seen in public in bathing suits and they shouldn't feel self-conscious or out of place. My problem is with people who don't dress appropriately for their size. I have a decent body, but I don't wear short skirts, low-cut shirts, or tight clothing. The point is to not draw any attention to oneself. I wear two-piece suits (and NOT skimpy ones) because I appear very flat in a one-piece. The suits I wear are fine for my age and I don't look like a teeny-bopper wannabe. I don't wear slutty clothing because it isn't appropriate or flattering...and overweight people shouldn't wear bikinis because it isn't flattering. That's my only point. If you are overweight and don't want to be stared at, then dress appropriately for your size. It's as simple as that.

Just had to chime in on this sensitive subject...I am much larger than any of you have mentioned yourselves to be. I started out married life 28 years ago as a size 10 - 12. Today, I could probably get half of me in that size I'm packing now for Disney (3 days to go ) and I'm packing a swimsuit. A one piece, skirt attached dark colored suit. I will wear it to the pools and Typhoon Lagoon should I choose to go there. I will enjoy myself with my family including my 2 little grandsons. I will make Disney memories that will last a lifetime. I will feel bad about my weight for the moment that I have to walk from my chair to the water and back. I believe that us Pooh sized people do need to wear comfortable clothes; ie: what makes us comfortable. I believe that formernyer was not being rude in any way. I think that she makes a valid point. Dress appropriately.