Does anyone actually do the Ferber method with their babies?

[becka]

Honestly, waht does that mean? Are you saying that those that don't follow "your" method are only mom's between the hours of 6am and 9pm?

I wonder if I can use this the next time one of my kids throws up in the middle of the night? I sure would be willing to take off my "mommy hat" for the clean up part. I didn't realize since I let my kids sleep by themselves that was one of the perks.

 

[missypie]

I hate to even call what we did "CRY it out" because there was almost never any real crying. There was usually a few second of little fussiness....that was all. All of my kids LIKED their cribs....the crib was a place of relief and comfort.

As for being afraid of the dark.....fortunately, a baby does not yet know all of the evils that can lurk in the dark.

 

[Chloe'sMom]

Well I guess I can take off "mommy hat" because my kids are asleep at night.

I'm worse - I take my mommy hat off at night, then for the 8.5 hours I work through the day. I'm just not as good as a mommy as some. I'm thinking of changing my tag to "I don't wear my Mommy hat 24/7"

~Amanda

 

[Mickeyluver37]

No, but some young, uninformed moms might take that kind of advice as fact without knowing there are other ways to comfort your baby. For example, I knew someone that was actually guilty that they cuddled their baby to sleep because her MIL was telling her that was not the right way to do it.

Now, continue with the snarkiness...

This is so true. Just like with most parenting decisions, you are going to get a lot of unsolicited advice from LOTS of people if you don't follow the majority. I am confident enough to deal with it now- but wasn't always as a young, first-time mom. I have never projected parenting advice on others IRL, I just explain what works for us. And most people I've encountered are admittedly uninformed- they will state that they do things because it's what their parents did.

 

[AllyandJack]

I'm sorry to be crude....but, when it's nighttime and I'm in bed, I most certainly take my "mommy hat" off! Unless DD is sick, there are times when that hat NEEDS to come off.

I am also a wife. I am also an individual. Most of the time, when she's fussy and crying, there isn't a reason and it passes quickly.

You really don't know every baby in the world. Not every baby needs to be rocked or held to soothe themselves. My DD never took a pacifier. She never used her swing. She was done with the swaddling at 10 weeks.

She's great at soothing herself. Sometimes, she gets up and realizes we're not there and she cries. Within minutes, she's back asleep because she's tired and it's bedtime.

Sometimes, she gets hungry in the middle of the night and she'll cry a different cry and cry longer. So, we give her 2oz while sitting in the rocking chair in her room and, snap, she's back asleep.

Unless someone can claim to know every single baby and their particular nuances, nobody can say what method is right or wrong.

 

[becka]

Letting them cry when they want a cookie or a toy in a store is much different than letting them cry when they want to be comforted and loved.

I don't think so. In my 2 year old DD's heart and mind I am not loving her when I deny her the cookie she wants. Why would this be any less "traumatic" or terrible than a baby not getting held as long as they would like to be at bedtime?

 

[Bob Slydell]

I'm so glad to be a Dad during Mommy Wars.

 

[Beth76]

No, but some young, uninformed moms might take that kind of advice as fact without knowing there are other ways to comfort your baby.

Well that goes both ways. We don't want young, uninformed, "stupid" moms thinking they should pick their child up every time he cries either.

Where are all these "young and uninformed" moms coming from anyway? Why do you assume such things of people? I wonder if maybe they were "unschooled"

 

[missypie]

I'm also a mom who never missed a shower because I had an infant. I can't believe those new moms who say they never have a chance to shower or get dressed because of the baby. If baby is fed and changed, why not put baby in the crib and take a shower? My bath room is large and carpeted; I'd put (non crawling or turining) infant on a blanket on the floor and then shower. If baby cries, so what? I knew they were totally safe. They can cry for another minute or two until I can rinse off.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Then that person was an idiot. You automatically assume anyone who does use the method is uninformed.

Would it be okay with you if I said "People who do not vacinate their children and home school are uninfomred?"

~Amanda

Actually I was LESS informed when I used to blindly vaccinate. When I actually started researched, I learned things that would make your hair curl.
I consider myself MORE informed this time around.
But, that's a whole different debate. Start a thread on that if you want and I'll give tons of links.

 

[meandtheguys2]

No, I just always thought the parents should put the comfort of the child before their own comfort.
And yes, I think it is cruel to leave a child in a dark room by themselves. The dark can be very disorienting and frightening, even for adults sometimes.
I don't think I love my children anymore than other parents that choose to let their children cry it out, I just think I'm a little better informed on some things because I choose to be.

OMGosh. You really believe you are better than other people.

How incredibly pathetic.

 

[becka]

Actually I was LESS informed when I used to blindly vaccinate. When I actually started researched, I learned things that would make your hair curl.

Could you forward some of this research on to me? I have done some research but my hair is just stubbornly staying as straight as a board. I must be looking in the wrong place. I really would love to add some curl and volume to my hair for the holidays.

 

[Beth76]

Actually I was LESS informed when I used to blindly vaccinate. When I actually started researched, I learned things that would make your hair curl.
I consider myself MORE informed this time around.
But, that's a whole different debate. Start a thread on that if you want and I'll give tons of links.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean you know more than the FDA? Wow that is impressive. And you know I could tell you some things about car accidents that would curl your hair. I can't believe that anyone drives these car things anyway. Death machines, that's what they should be called.

 

[Chloe'sMom]

Actually I was LESS informed when I used to blindly vaccinate. When I actually started researched, I learned things that would make your hair curl.
I consider myself MORE informed this time around.
But, that's a whole different debate. Start a thread on that if you want and I'll give tons of links.

No thanks - I consider myself fairly well informed myself on BOTH topics. So unless you are a qualified child psychologist with scientific data in regards to sleep topics I think perhaps you should stop assuming everyone is so "uninformed"

~Amanda

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Ah - so anyone who chooses to let their babies CIO or use the Ferber method are stupid and uninformed? You are of obviously higher intelligence.

~Amanda

Your parents should have unschooled you. Then you would be highly intelligent as well.

 

[3jsmommy]

This is exactly why I don't say anything to my CIO friends when they try to tell me I'm crazy for not doing it!
The "mommy hat" came from a thread here or maybe it was the family board, one mom said just because I choose not to wear my mommy hat 24 hours a day doesn't make me a bad mom...I wouldn't say it did, just like I know that my cousin is the best mom she can be, I just don't agree w/ the practice of CIO!
Why do all of the moms who do agree w/ it get so "offended" when anyone questions it? I don't know you personally & there is NOTHING that you could say on here that could offend me about my mothering....I am not defensive because I have no doubt about my decisions being the right ones for my family.
Momof3~ you are touching a nerve that has probably bothered them before, some times when the defenses are up so high there is no way of taking advice, because you are to busy defending yourself to youself KWM?

 

[barrett7890]

i don't usually get involved in these threads, but wondered what on earth was so bad about the baby sleeping in a dark room?

we only ever had a night light in in my daughters room when we were still feeding her during the night, the minute she started sleeping through (about 8 weeks) we didn't bother with it anymore.

she has no problems with the dark, some nights we hear her awake in the middle of the night sitting in the dark chattering away to her toys, then she goes back off to sleep, no tears, no problems, she just wakes up plays for a wee bit and drops back off (if she shouts on us we go in give her a cuddle and lay her back down)

cami
x

 

[va32h]

This is exactly why I don't say anything to my CIO friends when they try to tell me I'm crazy for not doing it!
The "mommy hat" came from a thread here or maybe it was the family board, one mom said just because I choose not to wear my mommy hat 24 hours a day doesn't make me a bad mom...I wouldn't say it did, just like I know that my cousin is the best mom she can be, I just don't agree w/ the practice of CIO!
Why do all of the moms who do agree w/ it get so "offended" when anyone questions it? I don't know you personally & there is NOTHING that you could say on here that could offend me about my mothering....I am not defensive because I have no doubt about my decisions being the right ones for my family.
Momof3~ you are touching a nerve that has probably bothered them before, some times when the defenses are up so high there is no way of taking advice, because you are to busy defending yourself to youself KWM?

Gosh, I don't know. I guess because of all the language like "cruel", "uninformed" and the implications that we just don't love our children as much as you do.

I'm not so much offended as hacked off. You have a lot of nerve. If you don't approve of the way I parent you can go stuff it.

And I wouldn't take yours or Momof 3's advice because I think it's bad advice, not because I am too defensive to listen to it. My kids are way past the baby stage and I know damn well they have turned out beautifully.

 

[sha_lyn]

It's been 10 yrs since I read the book so could someone clear up a couple of things.
As I said before unless I'm misunderstanding the video, they took away both the pacifier and soothing music when they decided to use the Ferber method.
I don't remember it being that severe.

I think what is so disturbing to the OP and others is that the parents were very hands on/AP and then took what feels to AP parents as a very drastic change in one night.

 

[3jsmommy]

Gosh, I don't know. I guess because of all the language like "cruel", "uninformed" and the implications that we just don't love our children as much as you do.

I'm not so much offended as hacked off. You have a lot of nerve. If you don't approve of the way I parent you can go stuff it.

And I wouldn't take yours or Momof 3's advice because I think it's bad advice, not because I am too defensive to listen to it. My kids are way past the baby stage and I know damn well they have turned out beautifully.

Woooaa'.....
Actually I never said those words & the Op was referring to a video, not you!!!
I never said I didn't approve of your parenting, maybe of your reading skills though! When people get nasty & rude it is usually because they are defensive....or "hacked off" as you put it!
I didn't imply anything about how much people love their child, I was talking about sleep conditioning......you need to chill!!!
And I guess its OK to imply bad things about the OP & make snide comments just because you don't agree!!