Does anyone actually do the Ferber method with their babies?

[sha_lyn]

Why be snarky and sarcastic instead of just explaining what worked for you.
BTW just because something worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

As the mom of 4 kids, I've tried various things with different children. We tried a modified Ferber method with one of our kids, but I couldn't do the full-fledged method. More of a leave them in there for 5 minutes and see if their crying escalates or if they calm down. I always checked fora dirty diaper, sickness, etc. In general, though, I couldn't listen to the crying for long and knew that it was a passing stage...this, too, shall pass became my mantra. The interesting thing is that my baby who slept with us the longest and nursed twice as long as my other babies has ended up being the most independent of my children (and has been the "easiest" of my children). I don't think it's because we did the co-sleeping longer or that I nursed him for so long, but it sure didn't create a child who was clingy or "spoiled".

 

[Minnesota!]

Didn't watch the video you posted. I didn't follow the Ferber method per se. But yes I let my kids "cry it out". It's my firm belief that if you rock your kids to sleep or some other hands on method, you are doing your child a disservice. Children need to learn to fall asleep on their own--from birth. Believe me, my kids got plenty of love and attention when they were awake. But when it came to sleeping, they needed to do it on their own. You know what our sleep time routine is? Brushing teeth, putting on pjs, read a story, kiss goodnight, turn off light, close the door, child falls asleep. They may have fussed a little at first (when they were very little), but I would swaddle them and leave them. After a few minutes they were fine. And after a few weeks, they stopped crying altogether. Both of my kids were like this every night until maybe around age 3 when they wanted a night light.

I always feel bad for the parents who ask for advice when their kids won't sleep. I truly believe it's something that you need to work on from birth. So I am one of those people who say that yes you can hold a baby too much. You can call me a bad parent if you want. But my kids go to sleep on their own every night.

I am not getting in a debate here, but my kids routine (well, the 3 year old) is the same as your kids and I rocked/patted/co-slept with him until DS#2 was born in March. My parents did the same for me - I co slept with them for 6 years or so. I have no issues going to sleep alone. Never had...never will.

I just think if a kid wants its parents - be there for them. They are only little for so long. One day you will wish they still wanted you around.

 

[vettechick99]

I am not going to subscribe to this thread because I have a certain opinion about this all and I don't want to get into a debate.

But all mothers should learn about the different methods of parenting and do what they think is best. If you don't want to employ CIO, don't. If you want to co-sleep, do it. It's very hard to screw up a kid - after all, we seemed to have turned out pretty ok.

 

[sha_lyn]

Dr. Ferber does not say to leave the child in a room to cry and cry and cry. Instead, he recommends returning at intervals to check on them and comfort them, but to leave the room. The key is to teach the children to learn to fall asleep on their own.

He recomends increasing the intervals, not picking the child up, and I believe not talking to them. Doesn't he also limit the "soothing time" to 3 minutes even if the are still crying?
Yes I read his book, checked it out from the library before talking to the Ped.

 

[sha_lyn]

I just think if a kid wants its parents - be there for them. They are only little for so long. One day you will wish they still wanted you around.

BRAVO

 

[Chloe'sMom]

Why be snarky and sarcastic instead of just explaining what worked for you.
BTW just because something worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone.

Did you catch the part where I said - do what works best for you and MYOB on what other people choose to do.

The OP is being highly judgemental.

~Amanda

 

[Beth76]

I am not getting in a debate here, but my kids routine (well, the 3 year old) is the same as your kids and I rocked/patted/co-slept with him until DS#2 was born in March. My parents did the same for me - I co slept with them for 6 years or so. I have no issues going to sleep alone. Never had...never will.

I just think if a kid wants its parents - be there for them. They are only little for so long. One day you will wish they still wanted you around.

Due respect, but your method is not the same as mine. I never rocked, patted or slept with my kids to get them to sleep. It was never work for me because I taught them to sleep from the get go.

And I don't think I will look back one day and think "hmmm, I really wish I had spent more time rocking my kids to sleep."

 

[Chloe'sMom]

Due respect, but your method is not the same as mine. I never rocked, patted or slept with my kids to get them to sleep. It was never work for me because I taught them to sleep from the get go.

And I don't think I will look back one day and think "hmmm, I really wish I had spent more time rocking my kids to sleep."

I agree.

~Amanda

PS - Girl we should get together and get some coffee!

 

[Briarmom]

I have a great idea that no one ever listens to on the DIS:
How about if, as women, we support each others' choices and stop judging other women for not making the exact same 'perfect' choices that we made? Seriously, why are women such pieces of crap to each other?


With ds I rocked him. I loved it. He was my first child and I knew that I would never have the chance to dote on a baby like that again. I rocked him and then at around 8 months he started going to bed without being rocked (most nights). I am thrilled I rocked him. I do not think everyone on God's earth needs to follow my example.

With dd, she didn't want to be rocked. Even when I had the time (which I did because my kids are 4 years apart) she just didn't enjoy it. She went to her crib from the first week she was home. This is HER personality.

Again, I do not think everyone on God's earth needs to follow my example.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You are so right, Briarmom. The wonderful thing about parenting is that there's no one right way to do it, but instead many wonderful ways. It's fine to explain what did and didn't work for us, but everyone finds their own way.

 

[Beth76]

Did you catch the part where I said - do what works best for you and MYOB on what other people choose to do.

The OP is being highly judgemental.

~Amanda

Absolutely!! Amanda I completely agree with your above post---snarkiness and all!!!

It's my belief that everyone should get their children to sleep the best way possible. Every child is different so of course no one method will work for everyone. I certainly don't put down anyone who chooses to rock their baby to sleep. I just wouldn't do it myself.

 

[Iluvthemouse]

I only have 1 child and we did the CIO method. She was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks. She is now almost 9 and the best sleeper.


My sister felt her baby didnt need to cry to get to sleep. She would hold him every night to fall asleep. Now he is almost 4 and still hasnt slept a full night completely through. She had another son and guess what method she used for him to fall asleep. He sleeps better now than anyone in her family. LOL

 

[sha_lyn]

Did you catch the part where I said - do what works best for you and MYOB on what other people choose to do.

The OP is being highly judgemental.

The OP is being judegmental of the people in the video. Is it your video?
Have you watched it?

 

[Briarmom]

You are so right, Briarmom. The wonderful thing about parenting is that there's no one right way to do it, but instead many wonderful ways. It's fine to explain what did and didn't work for us, but everyone finds their own way.

Ugh, can you imagine if there WERE only one way to parent? All of the people in the world would be the same. BO-RING!

 

[Kathi OD]

I have a great idea that no one ever listens to on the DIS:
How about if, as women, we support each others' choices and stop judging other women for not making the exact same 'perfect' choices that we made? Seriously, why are women such pieces of crap to each other?

ITA

 

[mommasita]

There are many choices to make, and NONE are wrong IMHO..

Different babies, different parents, different situations..

I don't know ANYONE who regrets what they did. In the sleep deprivation moments, we do what works at the time...I have ZERO regrets in that time. Whatever felt right happened...

There is no perfect Parenting book for me. It is a learn as you go, trial and error situation. My kids are 8 and 11, and it is still that way for me. I don't care what Johnny's Mom does or allows, I parent my children the way I see fit. I love them, and don't judge Johnny's mother.

 

[flipflop]

The OP is being judegmental of the people in the video. Is it your video?
Have you watched it?

Actually, it appears the OP is being judgemental about those who chose to use the ferber method - the "physically sick" " dark/cold" comment kind of cemments that.


ETA: I think if you read OP's post below about being "better informed" you'll see that OP is going far beyond just criticizing the people in the video.

 

[Deb in IA]

He recomends increasing the intervals, not picking the child up, and I believe not talking to them. Doesn't he also limit the "soothing time" to 3 minutes even if the are still crying?
Yes I read his book, checked it out from the library before talking to the Ped.

Good for you!

No, he does not say to not talk to them.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

***WARNING: SNARKY POST IN PROCESS***

OH THE DRAMA!!!
These parents are abusing their children - letting them cry it out - those heartless SOB's they must not love their child as much as I do because I never let my baby cry. They even turned the heat off in the room to make it "cold" and the poor baby is in the DARK. Obviously they should crank up the heat and leave 100watt lightbulbs on as that would be the ideal sleeping environment. Someone call Child Protective Services!



~Amanda

No, I just always thought the parents should put the comfort of the child before their own comfort.
And yes, I think it is cruel to leave a child in a dark room by themselves. The dark can be very disorienting and frightening, even for adults sometimes.
I don't think I love my children anymore than other parents that choose to let their children cry it out, I just think I'm a little better informed on some things because I choose to be.