Do you think it's tacky for teens to ask for money for Christmas?

[DVCLiz]

I think the list vs. no list depends upon the culture of the family. My family does a gift exchange, and we do lists. In our family, I think it would be more polite to provide a list because it's 1. what we do and 2. a way to make gift choice making easier. We don't always stick to the lists, but hey, it's nice to know what people are into. I don't think asking for money is tacky at all, especially for teens, provided the family does lists or someone asked for a list.

We are a list family, too. We have an uncle who is generous with gifts, but likes to have suggestions that are a)easy for him to shop for, and b)fun for him to give. He gives me a dollar amount he would like to spend as well. So every year I ask my daughters and we come up with some suggestions for Uncle J.

We also have Mom's house/Dad's house, so if my daughters gave their Christmas list to each parent they would probably receive duplicates of some things and not any of others. We coordinate and I give Dad and stepmom a list so they will be free to buy some fun things but not duplicate anything I have bought (or really want to come from me!)

I'm also fine with teens asking for/getting money. Heck, that old parental standby "If you want that you'll have to use your Christmas/birthday money!" has to be funded somehow!!!!

 

[MELSMICE]

I should have clarified that we have always exchanged lists for the kids on both sides of the family. Actually, they're more like ideas, not "must have" items.

I have no problem getting a list, I just think "money" on it is tacky, but that's just my opinion. I have not been told they are saving for something specific, so to me it says what someone else posted, "nothing you can get me is what I would want, so don't bother".

I'm not sure I'd send that sentence in an email. It sounds kind of rude right back.

I wouldn't send that response back, but it certainly is tempting!!!

I'm really interested in this because I have teenagers.

Here's my thing....did you (OP) ask what the neice and nephew want? If you asked and you got an honest answer, it's not rude of them at all. If you want to do a meaningful gift that comes from your heart, that is based on what you know and love about these kids, that is your own idea....then don't ask. If you want to be told what to give them and you receive an honest answer, then be grateful. Now, if you had some nice gift ideas in mind and you got a notice that the kids only want money, I'd be a little put out too.

I guess you're right, I guess it's not something I personally like to give for Christmas. That being said, we receive money from my in-laws & so do the older grandchildren now (my kids are 19, 16 & 16). We are all appreciative - ours goes in our Disney fund & my girls always send a note after they have made a purchase with their money.

However..................I do feel that cash says we can't be bothered thinking of anything else you might like so we took the easy way out. Maybe I'll feel much differently as I age!

A gift is something that is given, hopefully from the heart, and not asked for. For people close to you, you should have a decent idea what they might need or like. Beyond that, I think Christmas gifts have gotten a bit out of hand.

This is kind of the way I am beginning to feel. I really try to think of something people might like & enjoy. I really take the time to think about things they like.

In fact, I have already gotten my 2 middle school nieces each a Vera Bradley tote. My teens told me that "all the girls" have them now so I thought they might like them. I saw one of my nieces a few weeks & "was fishing" for ideas. We mentioned Vera Bradley & her response was, "those are so cool, I love those". I got home & immediately ordered her one for Christmas. To me, that is something she probably would never purchase herself & will be nice to receive as a gift.

Everyone has different ideas about gifts, etc. (BTW - I do give gift cards for birthdays - I know warped sense of thinking, but for birthdays it seems more acceptable to me! )

 

[roses~red]

I don't give cash to my nephew18 since he uses it for cigarettes and his bar tab both things he can buy on his own but I don't consider it a Christmas gift .

Honestly I wish he was not on the "list" since he is an adult now

I think asking for money is tacky and if I ask for a gift idea I would appreciate just a list of things he enjoys (or my other neices and nephews) not huge ticket items or a gift card to a store that you can't buy anything under 50 bucks.

I do think it is OK to ask for money if asked by the giver by saying something on the lines of "I am saving for a XXXX if you want to give money toward that item."

 

[SDFgirl]

I don't think it's tacky. Maybe they're saving up for something big that they really want!

I like to get people something they really want or need for Christmas. If money's what will make them happy, I'd just give them the monetary equivalent of what I would have spent on them.

 

[RitaE]

If you have inquired as to what they want, and money is what they want, then I don't think it is tacky for them to tell you so.

In our family, lists are just a suggestion, not a mandate. If you don't want to give money, then give something else.

 

[aprilgail2]

Every teenager I know would rather receive money than anything else. If the thought is to give them something they want, why not?
Just send them the same that you were thinking of spending.

I agree! I wish I would have gotten cash or even gift cards when I was a teenager. I can still remember opening gifts form the aunts- trying to conceal my shock of opening a box with a "pretty pink shirt with flowers on it"- OMG- I wore black, blue jeans etc- I would not have been caught dead in something like that- or the pocketbook made out of blue jeans that another aunt made for me --- oh man, thinking bad I don't know how I even hid how much I hated those gifts.

I use to not like it when my nieces and nephews wanted cash for Christmas. I also wanted them to have a gift to open. Now however I am the one with 2teens and guess what they would like for Christmas? Money. They would never tell anyone that. Their standard response if someone asks them what they would like is that they would like anything. But if I am asked what the kids would like- money. They are usually saving up for something and I will explain that to my mother, sister, etc.

My daughter just had a birthday and all she wants is wii games- most of them are 50.00 each so I could not possibly tell people to get her a wii game- luckly every kid that came to her party got her a gift card either to target or game stop so she was able to pool them all together and get what she wanted. Her grandmother and aunts and uncles all sent her check which she is stashing away in her bank account. I don't see anything wrong with wanting money- though I don't htink I would come out and say "hey just give me cash" but for a teenager its the perfect gift. Why give them a sweater or other hideious gift that they really don't want.

 

[ICF]

Would you send a gift card? If so, why not cash??

I got cash as a teen from my aunts / uncles and always enjoyed it. It's better than a gift that won't be used and just money wasted for the giver.

 

[Serena]

I don't get the problem. If you don't know them well enough to buy a gift without asking, why complain about what's on the list you receive?

 

[PatsMom]

Would you send a gift card? If so, why not cash??

I got cash as a teen from my aunts / uncles and always enjoyed it. It's better than a gift that won't be used and just money wasted for the giver.

Gift cards can be used on-line, cash can't. We live quite a ways from most stores so DD likes to order from web sites. A gift card means that she doesn't have to give me cash and then get my credit card info to order.

I do give my nieces gift cards. I also buy them a small gift - sometimes just a fancy soap that smells nice or something like that so they have a package to open.

 

[malibuconlee]

I think it is tacky to send "lists".

Really? I LOVED making out my Christmas Wish List as a kid. Mostly for my step-mom. But it was different back then. We would sit down with the JC Penney Christmas Catalog and pour over it. You know find something on EVERY page we would like to have.

We still do lists sometimes for DH's parents. A couple of funny family traditions came of them actually. In college everything DH wanted/needed was expensive, you know nicer car (he did have over a 3 hour drive each way and he HAD to come back at least once a month for National Guard drill), a computer, etc. So he put a "wooden duck" on his list. We have a whole collection of them now, plus a few other random duck things like a framed picture of a duck his sister took, a Daffy Duck beanie baby, even a couple of glass ducks.

For me when we moved in together I wanted a dog, but we really couldn't get one at the time, so every Christmas until we got our pug my MIL would get me something with a dog on it, usually a stuffed animal, but once it was a Hallmark Disney Christmas ornament with 101 Dalmations on it.

 

[lillygator]

cash is always what I wanted....my mom was hung up on the not opening a present issue....

 

[eliza61]

I'm going to agree with many others. I think it's tacky to send a list. I've even stop asking. I would let it go and give what you think is best. I think gift giving has gotten way out of hand.
I give savings bonds to my nieces & nephews.

 

[SpecialK]

I used to dislike giving cash for Christmas because I wanted my nieces and nephew to have something to open. When I finally realized how many of the gifts I chose were exchanged for something they really wanted, I started giving cash. I'll usually buy a little something (crazy socks, gloves, make up) to go along with it so I have a "gift" to give them.

One year I got creative and gave my nephew a pair of gloves with bills rolled up in each of the fingers. He never tried them on and was very appreciative of these goofy knit gloves.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I don't think it's tacky if you started by asking what the teens wanted. I don't think that cash or a gift card is tacky. Teens love to receive it, why wouldn't you want to give them exactly what they wanted? Absolutely no hassles, I don't know why you would want to take the chance of buying something they didn't like. And with teenagers, that would be just about anything you bought. I also don't see why they would have to specify WHY they wanted it or WHAT they were saving for. Teens just like to go out and spend money..

The only thing I would see as tacky is if the parents/teens asked for money without being asked. But if you asked what they wanted, they told you.

When I was a teen, my mom would always wrap up a little box with $50 and stick it on the tree somewhere from my dad. I LOVED that!!

If you are worried about the teen not having something to open, why not wrap the money in a small box? You could even make it a fun thing. Start with a small box and nest them in progressively bigger boxes..maybe about 10 or so. That would a great way to give cash for someone who wants to give something to be opened..

 

[troobabiee7]

I don't get the problem Granted, my family's really close and we'd rather know the truth then get each other things no one has nay use for. My cousins and I are all around the same age, and my parents, aunts and uncles would always ask each other what their kids wanted. If it was money, it was money. Now that my cousins and I are all in our 20's all we really want is money, and no one was offended. What's so offensive about that? Teens are hard enough to shop for as it is, so why run around looking for something they might like instead of just giving them what they want? I don't know, I just don't get why someone would be offended by their niece or nephew asking for cash for the holidays. It's the same thing as a gift.

 

[luvmy3]

This past weekend I asked my 16 year old niece what she wanted and she said "just money". I have no problem giving a teen cash as a gift. I would rather her use it to buy something she really wants or is saving up for then give her something she really doesn't want or even like. Heck I'm not too old where I don't remember being 16 and I always wanted money more than anything at that age too.
I also like to give a little something with it, even if its a bunch of her favorite candy or lotion etc. Its not that I feel bad about her not having something to open, its just that I like to give things to unwrap.

 

[twinklebug]

Teens are hard enough to shop for as it is, so why run around looking for something they might like instead of just giving them what they want? I don't know, I just don't get why someone would be offended by their niece or nephew asking for cash for the holidays. It's the same thing as a gift.

I don't have a problem with a teen responding to me that cash is the best gift to them, it's how they do so and I've had the unfortunate experience of having a niece pull me aside to tell me that the $20 I gave her was just not enough.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I don't have a problem with a teen responding to me that cash is the best gift to them, it's how they do so and I've had the unfortunate experience of having a niece pull me aside to tell me that the $20 I gave her was just not enough.

I saw this once on a TV show. You take the $20 and look it over-say to her..you don't like this $20? I like it..so I'll just keep it..

It would be mean, and you would probably give it back, but it would certainly ring in her mind the next time she had that kind of nerve!

 

[familyS]

I let my pre-teen and teen ask close realtives for cash instead of gifts, but they must explain what item they intend to purchase when they save enough cash.

 

[troobabiee7]

I don't have a problem with a teen responding to me that cash is the best gift to them, it's how they do so and I've had the unfortunate experience of having a niece pull me aside to tell me that the $20 I gave her was just not enough.

Well then that's different If I said that to any of my aunt's and uncles they would have cracked up and been like, "Get outta here! " None of my cousins or I would have ever said that, but no one would have taken any of us seriously anyway.