Do you think it's tacky for teens to ask for money for Christmas?

[rie'smom]

While it would annoy to be asked for money, I give money to my kids (33,24,14) as part of their Christmas. I give gift certificates to those godchildren who don't believe in Santa anymore and to those that do, I have a gift + a gift card. They all like to shop the sales after Christmas.

 

[Northstar]

If you don't want to give money, then pick out a gift that you think they'd like and surprise them. If you don't know them well enough to feel that you can do that.... well, why not send money? Especially if they faithfully write you a thank-you note telling you about the awesome gift they bought with your money and how much they enjoyed shopping for it.

I understand the feeling that money does not feel like a gift, but I remember being a teen and being asked what I wanted for Christmas and thinking "Oh no! I want a sweater but Aunt Babs will pick out something I would never wear in a million years... I want a camera but that's too big a present to ask for... I want that great necklace I saw downtown in the jewelry store but not a generic necklace that Aunt Babs picks out..." I never knew what to say when I was grilled for ideas for my Christmas list. It worked out better to get either money, which I would earmark for something I wanted (and write that thank-you so Aunt Babs would know what gift she gave me!), or to get a total surprise gift that sometimes turned out to be exactly what I didn't know I'd been looking for all my life!

Or you could give them a gift card from World Vision or one of the other charities that has a catalogue of gifts to help out others. Then at least you know your money will buy something worthwhile and send a message that you think it's kind of crass to ask for money.
Here's the catalogue for World Vision: http://donate.worldvision.org/OA_HTML/xxwvibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?go=gift&&section=10024

 

[ckay87]

I use to not like it when my nieces and nephews wanted cash for Christmas. I also wanted them to have a gift to open.

That's a good point - we have a holiday gathering and all the little ones are opening gifts and it's nice to include the big boys in that chaos also, even if they are "just" getting money. Know what you all can do? Just a suggestion....get a box, throw in some candy to weigh it down, and add the money/gift card in an envelope. Then, they have something fabulous to open also!

 

[KikiFan]

I don't think it's rude to ask for money, depending on how it's handled. If one of my nieces or nephews said, "Auntie I'm saving up money for X, would you be willing to contribute to that instead of buying me a present?" I'd be totally cool with that. I'd much rather contribute to something they really want.

If I request a list, and they asked for cash, I'd still be okay. I think I just resent the ones that ask for cash because they don't think you can pick out anything "cool enough" for them.

Plus if its an issue of "opening a present" why not wrap up the money? My dad used to do that to me. One year he taped the money to a brick, put it and a bunch of lose stuff, like screws rocks etc, in a box and wrap it. I shook that box for weeks trying to figure out what it was. Another year, he put the money in a tiny box and wrapped it. He put that box inside 6 larger boxes - all wrapped. By the time I got to the inside box I was going crazy! It was a pretty easy way to make money "fun" to open.

 

[twinklebug]

I think it is tacky to send "lists".

agreed.

I only appreciate lists when they're lists of sizes for my nieces & nephews ... and a few birth dates tossed in would be nice too as I'm the person who's PDA keeps getting wiped out and cant seem to find my address book when it does When I ask others for gift ideas I make mental notes on what to/not to get - If I get close to something they want I feel like I hit the jackpot .

Outright announcing that they want cash is rude of anyone regardless of age or occasion.

If a teen wants cash might I suggest they mention to the person asking that they're really trying to save up for ____ and would love help doing so... or that they just aren't sure of what they'd like or need, but know they do love shopping at ____ store, and allow the person to interpret as a potential gift card idea.

 

[DISUNC]

I dont think its tacky at all....IN FACT THATS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

 

[MushyMushy]

I don't think it's tacky if you asked what they wanted or needed.

I do have to say this, though. It would dive me nuts every year at Christmas, we'd do a gift exchange between my parents and my sister. We'd all pick a name out of a hat. THEN, to defeat the purpose, my sister would do a process of elimination and figure out who had who. Then we'd all have to sit down and write lists of what we wanted or needed. UGH! My sister's list would always have gift cards from different stores. Pretty soon every year everyone was just handing gift cards around. I'm glad I can laugh about it now because this year is going to be rough with it being the first year without my mother at Christmas. We're going to try to make it nice for my dad, so we'll focus on getting him things he wants or needs.

 

[TKERBELL]

I have all boys (14, 12 & 7) so it's pretty reasonable to say that they do not want for dolls or diaries or hair accessories - they want the big ticket items like Video games for Wii or PS2 or Game boys and those can be quite pricey (not saying that girls don't ask for such items as well but I clearly do not have ANY idea about that) - so my kids started asking for gift cards from thier favorite stores, i.e. gamestop, Aeropostle (for the 14 year old) and Kohls. I would NEVER ask anyone in my family to spend $50 for a gift for one of my kids so I think it's ok for my kids to ask for money and gift cards - it's what they want and in the end everyone is happier.

Now having said all that MY grandmother is a very practical women, ALL of us kids get socks and underwear for Christmas, it's a very Nana thing to do.

JMHO

 

[TKERBELL]

My dad used to do that to me. One year he taped the money to a brick, put it and a bunch of lose stuff, like screws rocks etc, in a box and wrap it. I shook that box for weeks trying to figure out what it was. Another year, he put the money in a tiny box and wrapped it. He put that box inside 6 larger boxes - all wrapped. By the time I got to the inside box I was going crazy! It was a pretty easy way to make money "fun" to open.

I LOVE THESE IDEAS - THANKS!!!

 

[PatsMom]

If someone asks me what DD (17) wants for Christmas or her birthday I have no problem telling them gift cards to iTunes, Walmart, Irving (gas station), Borders, TJ Maxx, Hot Topic, or a few other favorite stores. I have no problem with her telling people that she would prefer cash or a gift card if someone asks what she wants. Especially if there is nothing on her "wish list" that is apt to be in the giver's price range. DD has expensive taste! But I wouldn't send an unsolicited "wish list" to relatives whether it included cash or not!

 

[jamesmommy]

My great nephew is 10 (almost 11) this year, and knows that he will get the same gift he has gotten for the last 3 years from me. A Visa giftcard. He loves it, and I enjoy the ease of shopping.

It has gotten to the point that he only really WANTS a few things, and once his parents and grandparents have gotten those, there is really nothing on the list. By giving him cash or giftcard, he can get a Video game, buy cell phone minutes, or save it for something he decides he wants later. Let's face it, he gets so much stuff from everyone else (divorced parents = 2 Christmases , then factor in Grandparents), it isn't like he doesn't have stuff to open.

I do think it is rude to put "money" on an unsolicited list though. If you asked, it is possible that your sister was thinking that it might be easier for you.

 

[JayhawkMomma]

It doesn't bother me. All of our teenage nephews are constantly saving up for the latest, greatest video game. We don't spend $50 per kid so we just give them $20 and they are almost halfway there.

Last year we gave the 4 teenage nephews $20 each but I went to the bank and got them each 2 rolls of quarters and wrapped them up. It drove them CRAZY trying to figure out what that present was and they were estatic when they opened them up. That was a fun thing to watch.

 

[GeorgeG]

Other than small children who ask Santa, I think it's tacky for anyone to ask for anything for Christmas. A gift is something that is given, hopefully from the heart, and not asked for. For people close to you, you should have a decent idea what they might need or like. Beyond that, I think Christmas gifts have gotten a bit out of hand. When my wife's younger brothers were in their teens or younger, they would actually demand, not ask for what they wanted for Christmas, birthdays, Fridays, etc..

For so many of us, Christmas has become the same as elections... can't wait until it's over.

 

[dismom2]

I think it is tacky to send "lists".

I totally agree. Unless you specifically ask someone what they would like, I do not think it is right to send a list. I also do not think it's right to ask for money.

 

[mickeyfan9194]

When I give a gift, it's not about what I want...it's about what I think the receiver would like. That said, I'd much rather give my teen nephews money or gift cards if that's what they'd want/use, rather than something they'd just toss aside after saying, "thank you".

Of course, they'd never just ask straight out for money. But if I ask them for ideas, I expect them to be thruthful and tell me what they'd really like most.

 

[tasha99]

I think the list vs. no list depends upon the culture of the family. My family does a gift exchange, and we do lists. In our family, I think it would be more polite to provide a list because it's 1. what we do and 2. a way to make gift choice making easier. We don't always stick to the lists, but hey, it's nice to know what people are into. I don't think asking for money is tacky at all, especially for teens, provided the family does lists or someone asked for a list.

 

[Mom2Nick]

I think it's fine. Maybe they're saving up for something big that they know nobody will be able to buy them.

 

[Castlebound]

In my family the kids have always made out lists for Christmas for other family members. My grandparents go one even further and just give the parents of the grandkids and great grandkids money. The parents then get gifts that their kids will like. We even wrap and tag them for my grandparents. Yes my teenage cousins get money or gift cards. Three are in college and two will be next year. They have hobbies that are not cheap. Nobody wants to get them stuff that they won't like. I usually get each of them a DVD when they are on sale for $5-$7 plus a gift card. That way they have something to unwrap. My DS is 11 this year and isn't really into toys anymore so I see gift cards in his future. For his birthday get got money from several people and he was very happy!

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I'm a teen. I've asked for money a few times. It's really no big deal for me, but if you have a problem with it, find out what stores they like and get them giftcards. Giftcards also work very well.

 

[Missy1961]

Doesn't bother me, in fact I prefer it. As the aunt of 14, it's hard for me to figure out what they all want. It's easy when they're little, but once they hit 9 or 10 they get fussy. And the teens/pre teens want things like computers, Ipods, cell phones...so if I give them money, they can save & get what they want. If I want them to open something, I'll buy them something small, or wrap the cash!

I used to be the gift card person--wanted to receive & give them. but not this Christmas--too many stores having problems, that gift card could be worth nothing in 2 months.