Do you think it's tacky for teens to ask for money for Christmas?

[troobabiee7]

I think the part that I bolded is what is beginning to bother me at Christmas time. You're right, it seems as though so many gifts are given out of obligation.

That's a completely different perspective on the whole "gift" thing, and it's interesting to think about. A lot of people DO give gifts out of obligation, and while a gift is a nice thought regardless, isn't it nicer to actually get someone something they want? I just don't get the whole "I'm buying my relative whatever I want, and if they don't like it they're unappreciative" mindset. Again, any gift is nice on the part of the buyer, but when you're talking about family and friends, and people you care about, shouldn't you put some thought into it, too? Why would you purposely get someone you care about something they're not at all interested in just for the sake of being stubborn? Isn't the whole point of gift-giving getting someone you care about something they'll like, for the sake of making people happy?

I don't know, I just don't get why some people are so intent on not getting someone something they want, and instead doing their own thing just for the hell of it. I've had relatives who refused to ask my brother and I what we wanted in the past, and they gave us store-specific gift cards to stores we don't shop in. Yes they were appreciated, but they pretty much threw their money away because there was nothing in the stores that my brother or I would buy. It's pretty much a waste.

 

[MELSMICE]

Again, any gift is nice on the part of the buyer, but when you're talking about family and friends, and people you care about, shouldn't you put some thought into it, too?

Why would you purposely get someone you care about something they're not at all interested in just for the sake of being stubborn? Isn't the whole point of gift-giving getting someone you care about something they'll like, for the sake of making people happy?

I, personally, do put quite a bit of thought in to a gift.

Since my OP I have gotten other ideas for my niece & nephew so I will get something off of that list & opt out of cash.

 

[crz4mm2]

I think it is tacky to ask for money, BUT, I think it is reasonable to give teens money......
They are sooo hard to buy for.
I used to give my nieces and nephew money for xmas.

 

[rie'smom]

I think the part that I bolded is what is beginning to bother me at Christmas time. You're right, it seems as though so many gifts are given out of obligation.

I honestly think about what is wanted by someone I am giving a gift to. Throughout the year when talking to the person I make mental notes of things they have mentioned that they like.

A few years ago my SIL was always talking about how dry her hands were so I bought her this great hand cream that I was given as a gift previously & loved. This year she said, "if you get my name for Christmas could you get me more of that hand cream, I loved it."

Last year my niece had a friend over. She had to get her hair done for a cheer competition. Her mom used these neat rollers & my niece said, "Those are so cool. I would love those." I found out where the friend got them & it was one of her small Christmas gifts. She was so excited (or at least acted like she was)

I honestly put some time, thought & effort in to it, so maybe that is why I prefer not to give money.

BTW - I also always enclose a gift receipt with the purchase in case they want to take it back. This way, they don't have to ask if they really don't like the gift.

I'm this way too. Most of the fun for me is personalizing the gift. This year for my SIL's I'm making creams, lotions, milk baths, bath fizzies and sugar scrubs for their gift baskets. One likes spicy scents, so she I'm scenting her products with patchouli, another like florals, so I'm adding jasmine scent to her products, etc.

If it ever got to the point with me that I couldn't be happy or excited to find just the right thing, then it would be time for me to take that person off of my list.

 

[troobabiee7]

I, personally, do put quite a bit of thought in to a gift.

Since my OP I have gotten other ideas for my niece & nephew so I will get something off of that list & opt out of cash.

I'm sure you do put a lot of thought into a gift, I was saying in general.

 

[DVCLiz]

A gift is that - a gift. It is not something that should be expected. My MIL buys us Waterford ornaments every year for Christmas. I honestly could care less whether I get these or not. Give me a cute little Hallmark or Disney ornament that fits more of the way my tree is decorated. However, she loves giving these every year & gets so excited when we open them.

Save those babies and when she dies you can sell them on Ebay for a mint. I got the first in a series and eventually collected the rest of them - now the first one is going for about 500 dollars and the whole set is worth a couple of thousand. Someday I know my daughters will have a big yard sale of my stuff but I hope they will sell those to a collector!!!

 

[MELSMICE]

I'm sure you do put a lot of thought into a gift, I was saying in general.

I figured you were saying in general - I should have somehow mentioned that. I didn't think you were just referring to me!

Save those babies and when she dies you can sell them on Ebay for a mint. I got the first in a series and eventually collected the rest of them - now the first one is going for about 500 dollars and the whole set is worth a couple of thousand. Someday I know my daughters will have a big yard sale of my stuff but I hope they will sell those to a collector!!!

Wow - well, she's bought us one every year since we've been married & we just hit 21 years, so we'll be getting #21 this year.

Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful & I do look forward to getting them every year, but it would be OK also if we didn't get them. It's something my MIL enjoys doing & I'm sure one day when she is no longer with us I will miss getting my Waterford. I'm also sure that one of my DD's will take "gramma's" ornaments one day when I'm not here either!

 

[Tink888]

JMO - I don't think it's tacky. Teens are so picky with what they like. As the gift-giver, I want the recipient to be happy. If money will make them happy and be used, I'm happy to give it. Right color, right size and it will save me time.

 

[troobabiee7]

I figured you were saying in general - I should have somehow mentioned that. I didn't think you were just referring to me!

I know, don't worry!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Nope, not tacky. I'd rather give them something they want, than something they'll never use, play, look at, etc. It also saves me from having to wait on yet another line to buy a gift they won't want anyway.

When the holidays come, would you rather your boss give you cash or a gift? My boss gave me a Bloomingdales gift card once. If he had thought about it, he would have realized that I'm much more of a Target or Walmart kind of person than Bloomingdales. That card got spent on completely useless stuff like bath towels for $25 each.

 

[MELSMICE]

When the holidays come, would you rather your boss give you cash or a gift? My boss gave me a Bloomingdales gift card once. If he had thought about it, he would have realized that I'm much more of a Target or Walmart kind of person than Bloomingdales. That card got spent on completely useless stuff like bath towels for $25 each.

Last year I did give gift cards to my employees. I only have about 8 & it's a "family atmosphere" at my business.

Each employee got a gift card to somewhere that I know they shopped or frequented. One loves Bare Minerals/Escentuals make-up so she got a gift card to Sephora. One just moved into a house & was talking about how much she was spending at Bed, Bath & Beyond, so she got one there. Two others are Disney fans & both had trips planned - they got Disney $'s. Another is constantly on the go & eating out. She got a gift card to Panera. Another only shops at Target or Walmart so she got a Target gift card.

As far as employee gifts though, they used to get cash bonuses - even though they weren't large. However, a $50 bonus actually cost me $56, plus the payroll cost of printing & postage for the checks, plus there were taxes taken out, obviously, so their $50 bonus was not actually $50 in cash to them. I felt the gift card was a better option.

Like I said, my business is very small, some employees work one or 2 hours a week only. For a large corporation, I feel that a cash bonus is probably a better choice.

 

[NewCrew42]

I don't think it's tacky to put "cash" on the list. I have teens and would rather say they would love to get cash, than to say, please buy my son a PS3 game at $60, maybe buy him 2 or 3. If he got cash, he could put it with some of his own money to buy the game he wants.

Also, we went to a meeting at our church last night concerning summer camp/mission trips for youth. People were asking about scholorships for their kids to go to summer camp/mission trips, and the youth pastor recommended that if the kids want to go, that they ask for CASH for Christmas and Birthdays to support them to go to camp or mission trips. They also recommended that the kids get odd jobs babysitting, raking leaves or mowing lawns.

So, you just never know.

 

[Castlebound]

I think the part that I bolded is what is beginning to bother me at Christmas time. You're right, it seems as though so many gifts are given out of obligation.

I honestly think about what is wanted by someone I am giving a gift to. Throughout the year when talking to the person I make mental notes of things they have mentioned that they like.

A few years ago my SIL was always talking about how dry her hands were so I bought her this great hand cream that I was given as a gift previously & loved. This year she said, "if you get my name for Christmas could you get me more of that hand cream, I loved it."

Last year my niece had a friend over. She had to get her hair done for a cheer competition. Her mom used these neat rollers & my niece said, "Those are so cool. I would love those." I found out where the friend got them & it was one of her small Christmas gifts. She was so excited (or at least acted like she was)

I honestly put some time, thought & effort in to it, so maybe that is why I prefer not to give money.

BTW - I also always enclose a gift receipt with the purchase in case they want to take it back. This way, they don't have to ask if they really don't like the gift.

We live 20 miles from most of the teens that I buy for. Four are in college and one is very active in high school. I see all of them maybe three times a year. So I am putting thought and effort into it when I give gift card for gas or restaurants that I know are near their schools. If they were saving for something expensive to buy I would probably give them money. I want them to be happy with the gift I give.

 

[Todd&Copper]

Melsmice, I think it is fair to say, given your reponses on this thread, that you are the exception rather than the rule for a lot of our relatives' gift-giving habits.

After receiving inflatable dinosaurs, plastic child earrings, and ugly, itchy pull-over sweaters when I only wore cardigans when I was an older teen, I would have jumped at the chance to request cash instead of gifts that end up in the charity box.

Now that I am older, I wish my grandma would just keep her money and stop sending gifts. But I have to give her a list of things I want or I'll end up with a QVC gift [please, Jesus, not Quacker Factory!] that is difficult and costly for her to return.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Tacky, maybe...but honest, and probably smart. They are teens, and they probably won't like what you buy them anyways...lol
If you are against the cash...buy them a gift card...
Blockbuster, ITunes, Target, Mall Gift Cards or VISA giftcards....

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Last year I did give gift cards to my employees. I only have about 8 & it's a "family atmosphere" at my business.

Each employee got a gift card to somewhere that I know they shopped or frequented. One loves Bare Minerals/Escentuals make-up so she got a gift card to Sephora. One just moved into a house & was talking about how much she was spending at Bed, Bath & Beyond, so she got one there. Two others are Disney fans & both had trips planned - they got Disney $'s. Another is constantly on the go & eating out. She got a gift card to Panera. Another only shops at Target or Walmart so she got a Target gift card.

As far as employee gifts though, they used to get cash bonuses - even though they weren't large. However, a $50 bonus actually cost me $56, plus the payroll cost of printing & postage for the checks, plus there were taxes taken out, obviously, so their $50 bonus was not actually $50 in cash to them. I felt the gift card was a better option.

Like I said, my business is very small, some employees work one or 2 hours a week only. For a large corporation, I feel that a cash bonus is probably a better choice.

Sounds like you put some thought into each person's gift. In my case, I got a Bloomingdales card because he realized, while passing Bloomingdales, that he forgot to get me an Administrative Professional's Day gift. APD is in April, he remembered in June! Again, it was very thoughtful of him to think of me, especially belatedly, but I've never been in Bloomingdales in my life. Credit for the thought maybe, but it was still done because it was convenient for him to buy it there. FWIW, I get a check every year for the holidays and I love that! Also, two years my attorneys chipped in and bought me tickets to see Bon Jovi! That was VERY much appreciated!

 

[Camicar]

I think the part that I bolded is what is beginning to bother me at Christmas time. You're right, it seems as though so many gifts are given out of obligation.

That is why I've kinda given up. And I admit on a purely selfish note, that I was tired of spending so much time, money and effort to find a great gift for someone who clearly bought mine at the checkout line at Walmart or a gift card at a restaurant at which he happened to be eating closest to the day of a gift exchange. Or I got tired of being told that my gift wasn't enough.

I think that in general, our society has become increasingly self-absorbed and self-indulgent and the gift giving is merely a potent symbol of that pathology.

 

[MELSMICE]

I think that in general, our society has become increasingly self-absorbed and self-indulgent and the gift giving is merely a potent symbol of that pathology.

I believe you hit the nail on the head!

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

My sister sent out an email to everyone in the family (close and extended) telling them to keep all the kids gifts to $25 and "hint hint my kids LOVE gift cards". Its no wonder her husbands family doesn't like her!
Personally, I don't appreciate being told how much I can spend (not that I want to be spending $$$$ on everyone, but....) on people, and also - not to sound selfish in anyway, but I have spent a lot of $$ on her kids over the years (They are 13 & 16 now) on Christmas and birthdays - and now its like my kids are getting jipped in a way, KWIM? There was never any cap on gifts before - only since other kids have been born (or married) into the family.
Of course I understand they have us, and the grandparents to get gifts from (They are onlu 2 & 3), but thats not the point - this email really just rubbed me the wrong way.

 

[rie'smom]

Just wanted to say with the economy if you buy gift cards, I'd reccommend those tied to credit cards like American Express, Visa, etc or Wal Mart. That's what I'm doing because I don't want my money to go to waste.