Do you approve of kids coed sleepovers (inspired by all the sleepover threads)

[disney4us2002]

Hey, whatever floats your boat. I have no problem whatsoever making a blanket statement. It will never happen. Period. My dh and I have no problem going to pick up one of our kids at any hour.

 

[MickiMouth]

I have two DD's 14 and 5 and the answer is NO WAY!!!!!

 

[DisneyMomx7]

When I first heard of them I said - no way would I let mine go. When dd was a teenager they really weren't popular. My ds (now 20) was a model teenager. His group really just were good kids having safe fun. When he first asked I spoke to the mom of the girl (I knew them well) and I knew it would be completely chaperoned and that this group really was just good friends. The boys slept in sweats and so did the girls. Not only were the girls parents there but the grandparents lived there too. It went fine. Although I wouldn't allow it in every case I really think it depends on the kids. None of these kids were into drinking or God forbid drugs, they were all peer leaders, all honor students, involved in sports or theatre and NEVER got in trouble. DS never even had detention. I knew I could trust him.

Now I suspect it won't be the same with my 7 year old dd. I'm afraid she's going to cause more problems than he did. She's been rolling her eyes at me since she was 2! Ds never even talked back to me.

 

[G00fyDad]

Um, I voted no. I'm not ready to be a Grandpa at 32. Nope. Aint happenin!

 

[Christine]

Here's my take on them, as uneducated as it is and non-fact based.

First off, I voted no. Now, I am thinking of the age group of my DD who is 13 and is just now trying to "find her way" with boys. I may have a VERY different opinion when she is a senior in high school.

My problem with this is the "familiarity" concept. I think there are some good things with boys and girls being "together" so much these days. They learn to relate better between male and females and I also think it is healthy for males and females to truly have a friendly relationship. I don't think this really existed in the 70's/80's when I growing up--although it was starting.

I think, though, that the familiarity has made it easier for the "casual sex" explosion that seems to be going on with middle and high-schoolers. You know, the whole friends-with-benefits thing. It is really sad to see that the majority of kids don't truly "date" or "romance" each other anymore. They just meet somewhere and hook up. I realize this is a generalization and I know there are exceptions to everything. But, I think that the co-ed sleepovers are just another way to take the "mystery" out of the male/female relationship.

I honestly do NOT think any sex is going on at most of these parties and that is not my reason for saying no.

 

[DisDuck]

OK, related to this thread. My first question is Would you allow your child/teen to room in a co-ed dorm at college? next, What do you think goes on in co-ed dorms? finally, what do you think goes on at high school parties, sleep-overs or not?

Now, my youngest is 20. She had mostly 'guy' friends in HS. Sleep-overs for her pretty much involved B-day celebration. If no sleep over than out late/coming home late/less supervision. Even now she will sleep over at her very good friend's house (guy) when home on school break if out late like 2-4am rather than drive home tired.

Sometimes I think parents are more obsessed with 'sex' then their children are. If your son/daughter is dating (couple or group) are you around them 24/7 to ensure that nothing is going on behind your back.

I agree with someone here who posted about times changing in regards to girl/guy friendships. When I was in HS you rarely had just friends of the opposite sex. Now from my experience (2 boys/2 girls) cross-gender friendships seem more the norm. I think that is good has one learns to treat the other as an equal not some object of conquest.

 

[caitycaity]

Sometimes I think parents are more obsessed with 'sex' then their children are.

 

[Mom2Ashli]

Nope - No WAY!

 

[4greatboys]

Im not hosting one and wouldnt let my boys attend one. Its just putting to much temptation out there. I know many teens would ohhh not me. But there has got to be that "first time" for everyone.

 

[maci]

Depends on the age.

I remember when I was in 3rd grade, my BEST friend was a boy. The thought of a boyfriend would not have even crossed my mind. I asked many times for him to be able to sleep over and the answer was always no. I really did not get that in the 3rd grade.

That being said I have no clue how would handle that with my kids. It would depend on the circumstances I guess.

 

[DisDuck]

hey come no co-ed sleepovers because of 'temptation' then make sure your children do not stay in co-ed dorms when off to college. Way too much temptation. These dorms are just one big orgie

 

[caitycaity]

hey come no co-ed sleepovers because of 'temptation' then make sure your children do not stay in co-ed dorms when off to college. Way too much temptation. These dorms are just one big orgie

my alma mater doesn't even have non co-ed housing for boys. and the women only dorm is usually really hard to get into because it is so small.

that's the thing i don't get. people won't let their kids have group sleepovers when they are seniors in high school, and they would be sleeping in a house with (i would assume) parents around. in college, there are no parents around, and believe me, neither of my ra's cared if anyone was having sex with someone else on the floor.

 

[HunnyPots]

Now if you are talking about a regular, planned, "send-out-the-invitations" slumber party with a mixed group from school, I'd say no. Too much potential for all kinds of problems. BUT, my 17 year old daughter has four best friends that are all boys and if they wanted to watch movies and crash at my house I wouldn't think a thing about it except, maybe, how in the world would I feed them all!

 

[grinningghost]

No way. When they're very young, boys and girls generally don't get along, so there's no need. When they become teenagers, they get along WAY too well, so there's no need.

 

[cats7494]

No way would I allow that - in my home or another parent's home.
I do, however think that a lock in that is supervised at school or at our church would be ok.

 

[peachgirl]

I guess my parents were more progressive than I thought!

It hasn't been all that long ago that I was in high school and we had co-ed sleepovers all the time.

Since my parents didn't treat it like a big deal, it wasn't. And honestly we behaved better than most of the kids I knew that went to regular parties. I can't tell you the number of times we'd get calls during the evening from kids hanging out at a party where half the crowd was drunk or high. Yet, at my house, where ***gasp*** boys and girls were going to be there all night...there was no drinking, no drugs and no sex.

The idea that letting girls and boys spend the night in the same house puts pressure on them to have sex is really silly. Besides, it would've been pretty hard to actually do anything with 2 parents and 10 other teens in the house.

I think a lot of people have a mental picture of girls and boys all splitting off to head into bedrooms to do God-knows-what all night long. It's really not like that at all and if it's still a popular thing to do when I have kids and they get old enough, I'll be more than happy to let my kids do the same thing.

 

[tidoublegger]

Are you kidding?!?!? When he** freezes over!

 

[luvmydogs]

Are you kidding?!?!? When he** freezes over!

My thoughts exactly.

 

[mom2rb]

I voted other. I have had 5 boys from our street sleep-over so that their parents could have a night out. If some of the girls on our street ( or their parents) had asked, I would have let them come too. Everyone sleeps in the living room anyway.

Now it is easy for me because my boys are six. I don't know what I will allow when they are older. Everything else I ever thought about parenting has completely changed so I just stopped thinking about what I will do and now just worry about what I am doing.

 

[totalia]

I don't have kids but I'd have to say no, not a chance in H***. Theres no reason for a coed sleepover, ever. Kids are having sex at younger and younger ages and a coed sleepover would only help encourage that behavior.

If my sister ever allows my nephew to do that, we will be having words.