Do I have a right to be upset? Pre-school question

[Gabes_mommy]

This is my first there here in the community section so please be nice to me.

I went back to work full-time 4 months ago and we enrolled my DS (2.5) in a local pre-school. Tuition is $175 a week.

My father is retiring and wanted something to do with his days and still make a little $$$ so we had the idea that he could start watching DS for us. His first day taking care of DS will be the Monday after July 4th so next week is DS's last week at his school. We gave his school the appropriate notice that DS was leaving so they know.

In DS's classroom there are 2 teachers and about 16 students and the class is split into two groups with each teacher having a table of kids. On the tables each child has a spot with their name on it.

Today I dropped DS off and as I was putting his lunchbox in his classroom I noticed that DS no longer has a spot at either table with his name on it. All of the spots were taken at the tables too with no empty spots. So where is my DS supposed to sit?

I am upset. I feel like DS is being treated like a 2nd class student because he is leaving, but he doesn't understand that. He is just going to wonder why his spot is gone today. We paid our $175 for next week. I expect my child to have a spot.

Am I wrong to be upset? Should I call the preschool director about this?

 

[golfgal]

No, you should not be upset nor should you call anyone. It sounds like someone had time before you were gone to rearrange things.

 

[Hoodie]

If he's paid for that week, he should have a spot.

 

[janey99]

IMO, totally inappropriate! If you are paid up and he is till enrolled, he should get all the benefits of being a student, including a chair!

I would speak to the teacher/director and make sure they treat him properly until his last day.

Good luck -

Jane

 

[Iott Family]

If he's paid for that week, he should have a spot.

I agree. Call the school and ask them why. I would!

 

[boltfans]

Was it that there was no spot, or just that the name was already changed? What I mean is, maybe they started rearranging the classroom in anticipation of your son's departure and new child's arrival. Unless the new kid is already there and has taken over your son's physical spot, then I wouldn't worry about it. It might just be labeled in advance but your son still has his space. I doubt the school would make him stand or whatever.

 

[Cindy B]

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure either the teachers were given wrong info on the end date (this happens) and such.

This is something fairly easy to fix in a classroom. If you are that concerned, I would call and verify your end date with the director... I wouldn't even go into the "2nd class citizen" stuff because that will just have the director rolling his/her eyes.

 

[RadioNate]

If he's paid for that week, he should have a spot.

He will have a spot. It may not be the same exact labeled but do you really think they just aren't going to let him sit at the table with the other kids?

Let it go OP. In your child's life this will be small potatoes. He is leaving in 5 days. Is the removing of a label on a table REALLY worth getting worked up over?

Your child is 2.5. He really isn't going to notice. The teacher will most likely say "you are going to sit here today" and direct him to another chair. He'll be fine.

Now, if you find out he was excluded from the table all together and forced to sit in a corner on the floor...then complain but not over them getting the room together and removing his name tag 'early.'

 

[Gabes_mommy]

Also I wanted to add that there is a little girl in DS's class that he adores - the 2 of them are such buddies and they sit next to each other at the table. That's why I noticed his spot was missing. I went to his usual place next to this little girl's place and noticed another child's name was there. Then I looked at both tables and his name wasn't anywhere. He still has 5 days there - he's not gone yet.

 

[Cindy B]

He will have a chair.. please. At 2.5 he may not even notice or just be happy doing what needs to be done.


In the whole realm of things, a removal of a tag is so minor compared to what you will experience in elementary, middle or high school. Save it for the important stuff.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

Is the removing of a label on a table REALLY worth getting worked up over?

No where did I say that I was worked up. I was a little surprised so I left without saying anything because I wanted to mull it over before I said or did anything. I am not impulsive and I don't get "worked up".

I just wasn't sure if this was worth a call or not. To be clear DS's teacher definitely knows his last day is next week because we discussed it yesterday when I dropped him off.

 

[npmommie]

Also I wanted to add that there is a little girl in DS's class that he adores - the 2 of them are such buddies and they sit next to each other at the table. That's why I noticed his spot was missing. I went to his usual place next to this little girl's place and noticed another child's name was there. Then I looked at both tables and his name wasn't anywhere. He still has 5 days there - he's not gone yet.

I bet it is just as the others have said and they are getting ready early. since its a holiday weekend and all next weekend maybe they anticipate someone has time off or something.
I would have just asked then and there, " i noticed my ds's nametag is gone where should he be sitting?"

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I bet it is just as the others have said and they are getting ready early. since its a holiday weekend and all next weekend maybe they anticipate someone has time off or something.
I would have just asked then and there, " i noticed my ds's nametag is gone where should he be sitting?"

I probably would have asked then and there but his class was at the bathroom doing their potty-training so I was alone in the room.

I decided not to call or say anything. Honestly, it offends me what they did. I am a former elementary and middle school teacher and current college professor so I know how things work. It's not something I would have done as a teacher but I see others' perspective that it's not a huge deal.

 

[RadioNate]

No where did I say that I was worked up. I was a little surprised so I left without saying anything because I wanted to mull it over before I said or did anything. I am not impulsive and I don't get "worked up".

I just wasn't sure if this was worth a call or not. To be clear DS's teacher definitely knows his last day is next week because we discussed it yesterday when I dropped him off.

IMO calling the school about a missing name tag is in the 'worked up' category. This would not even be a fleeting concern in my world. Sorry.

Who knows if child new name is even there yet??? Does your DS even know that is his name on the paper?

I'm sorry if you feel I'm being harsh but I can't even believe a name tag change when you know your DS is leaving in 5 days is at all 'upsetting' to you. It seems obvious that, with available space, they'd fill it with a new student if possible.

When my DS was in pre-school (day care) they moved kids around all the time. No one was worse for wear.

If you actually think that the school wouldn't let your child sit in a chair during his last week then I'm glad that you are removing him from the school because that isn't a place I'd allow to care for my child. BUT assuming these are good caring people who you've allowed to care for your child...I'd bet they'll give him a place to sit.

To answer your question - your DS will sit where ever they tell him too. Does he really need a labeled spot? So no, I wouldn't call.

And I did add the caveat that if you find out today that they forced him to sit on the floor or otherwise excluded him. THEN I'd be upset but until then all you know it that they changed the name tags.

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP, At 2 1/2 I'm sure your DS will not notice unless you make a big deal about it.

As a seasoned parent, I've learned you have to chose your battles. I'd let this one go.



TC

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I would have just asked then and there, " i noticed my ds's nametag is gone where should he be sitting?"

I know you responded to this that you were alone and the kids were off potty training, but didn't you have ANY contact with someone while dropping your child off? If it appeared to me that my child had no place to sit, I don't think I would have left without asking...not a big deal kind of asking, but I'd want to know.

OP, At 2 1/2 I'm sure your DS will not notice unless you make a big deal about it.

At 2 1/2, my oldest DD noticed EVERYTHING. She also had super human hearing and could hear us quietly discussing something in another room when we thought she was napping. Our other two...they'd probably know something was different, but what? LOL

 

[mickeyboat]

I tend to base my response to things like this by my child's response.

I would definitely not call the school at this point, and wait to see how my child felt about it tonight. If he doesn't say anything about it, even after some vague questioning, I would leave it alone. I would also make sure I had all the correct information, obtained in a neutral manner, before I started making accusations.

My DD8 is doing a summer track program through our town rec department. The other night uniforms were handed out for an upcoming meet, but I was not at that practice, and my DD did not bring one home. One of the other mothers mentioned at a later practice that her daughter was pretty upset because they only gave uniforms to select kids. The mother wanted to talk to the coach because her daughter was pretty uspet that she didn't get a uniform, and thought that only the "good" kids got one.

I asked DD about it that night, and she told me that they did not order enough uniforms and didn't expect so many smaller kids, so they only had larger sizes. They gave the uniforms to the bigger kids, and ordered more. It didn't phase my DD in the least.

 

[lillygator]

I wouldn't worry about it. I am sure they are not going to have him off in the corner for his last week with no where to sit.

 

[4nana]

Altho I agree with chosing your battles wisely and in the grand scheme of raising our babies there will be much larger battles to fight.

However, IMO it's very inconsiderate for the daycare to take away a child's name place until his last paid day. Of course he noticed! Hello, you've paid your $175., so at this point your child is still enrolled and they should've paid you the courtesy of an explanation w/o you even asking. Sorry, I don't know of a better way for making a child and parent feel like they're nothing but a number!!!

 

[sms]

I don't think you are getting worked up! I would feel the same way. Thats your baby.

I would probably not call the director, but I would ask the teacher about it. You paid for that week. They should have left his name there until he was gone. Its not like it took a long time to redo it!

Good luck with everything! I hope all goes well! I would have loved for my father to be able to spend that kind of time with my DS!