Disgusting situation at the grocery store today

[RealMickeysGirl]

Is there a difference in the EBT cards and Debit/Mastercards? My child support card has the state written on it and it says Debit and has the Mastercard logo on it. When I use it, I run it through the machine just like a regular debit card. Are other states different that someone would mistake it for a Food Stamp card?

States get contracts with companies to support their ebt systems. Your child support card is exactly like a debit card on a bank account - your child support payments are put into an account and each time you use your debit card the amount is subtracted.

Some states have cards that are more recognizable as ebt than others - some look just like a regular debit card and you wouldn't know the difference unless you read the print on the front/back of the card. Depending on what company your state has contracted through, it could have a mastercard logo or some other logo on it.

I used to do programming for a state wic agency and during that time they were talking about joining in with other state agencies to do ebt cards - this was in the late 90's - 97 or 98. That is the only reason I know about the requirements for issuing and accepting the cards/checks.

 

[JennyMominRI]

You're right about that. But when a person is standing in line at the grocery store, how do you know which is which? All the comments in this thread remind me of my own humiliation. Nobody at that time knew whether I was a third generation welfare recipient or that I was going through a temporary rough spot.

When I first started getting my retirement pay from the Marines years ago,I got those yellow paper checks from the governement. They looked just like welfare checks at the time,unless you got up close and saw retired pay written on them. I got so many nasty comments from people especially older people when I would cash it in an by groceries with it. I can sympathize. I've also dealth with people who think I'm *living off the government* by getting my VA disability pay,and think they should have say over how it is spent

 

[chobie]

The thing is in this case we know the woman complained that she had nothing to feed her child, yet bought all the soda. Sure we don't know how long/why they were receiving assistance, but I think we call safely assume her priorities are messed up if she bought soda when she couldn't feed her child. I don't buy the speculation that she was probably buying it for someone else.

Right. We can all fell smugly self-righteous in assuming things about this horrible woman.

 

[Nancy]

The thing is in this case we know the woman complained that she had nothing to feed her child, yet bought all the soda. Sure we don't know how long/why they were receiving assistance, but I think we call safely assume her priorities are messed up if she bought soda when she couldn't feed her child. I don't buy the speculation that she was probably buying it for someone else.

I personally feel that she was complaining like that hoping the cashier would feel sorry for her and let the checks slip through..that way she wouldn't have to go home, get her current checks and come back again. Unfortunately in my store we have to enter the dates into the register and if they are expired it will not allow the transaction, we don't have a choice. She probably had food at home, we are all just assuming she didn't. Do you really all think she would have bought pop over milk for her child? Maybe I am naive but I don't. She just wanted to use those checks and tried to get away with it...didn't work.

BTW...our EBT cards are white, they say BENEFITS across the top in blue letters and have the persons picture on it. The cash benefits part works like a bank debit card does. So a person can have both their foodstamps and a cash account on it.

 

[DMRick]

But when she starts with the comments then I think, "You knew they were not good and you were trying to beat the system." No extra help from me. .

How on earth can you know that she knew they were no good? Just as I can't know what her true thoughts/reasons were, neither can you. So, you wouldn't help buy the food for the child that was with her, (but you would if the mother had grovelled) because the mother might in your opinion, have been cheating the system. I guess I see things differently.

I can list a list of things I've done good/and or donated to also..but none of those have to do with judging one person in a grocery store. A lot of our help goes anonomously, and I really have no idea how people are chosen to get the help we have provided. While some may cheat the system, I sure hope the benefit of the doubt is there, and if someone asks for help, it's given. If 9 needy people are helped, and that 10th sneaks in under the radar, so it is.

Nope, this just isn't something you and I would see eye to eye on. Maybe it's the training we get to serve at the mission. We are not to ever make the people we serve feel like they are begging, they'd rather we didn't show up to serve, if we didn't do it with a glad heart...and I don't think some of the people here, would be happy serving some of the people we serve. Heck, some of them are smoking (and drinking) on the way in to get their free food (and most of them do not have employment)..that some of you may have paid for with donations. However a great many have changed their lives after a long time coming to the mission..and I like to think those of us who interact can have a small part of that, because of how we treat them.

Maybe we should all have to be on the other side for just a little while, to see how it feels to be judged. It can happen in a flash, even with large savings. The story's some have to tell are heartbreaking.

 

[VSL]

Maybe we should all have to be on the other side for just a little while, to see how it feels to be judged. It can happen in a flash, even with large savings. The story's some have to tell are heartbreaking.

We all judge eachother - every day - and in both good and bad ways. Anyone who says otherwise is, IMO, lying. It's human nature.

But, I think that her behaviour is what says it all.

Most people (who are not absuing the system) would have probably been a little embarassed about having expired (or whatever) stamp things (or whatever they are) - just like I've been a bit embarassed if I've gone to use a coupon or something and it's expired. You just feel a little silly for not noticing. Or others will laugh it off and say, 'How could I have not noticed that?!'.

But when you start complaining loudly while buying junk food/drink - regardless of whether it's for you or someone else - it comes off as looking like you are trying to work the system.

That is my experience from working in two very different supermarkets who have a different class of customers during my 1st and 2nd years in Uni.

 

[mickeyfan2]

We will have to agree to disagree. I see it one way and you see it another. I actually have worked at our mission and took the training classes too. I have a right to my own opinion as you do yours. So you can really tell me you have never seen somebody do something and then not made a judgement or is it only this issue that judgement is not allowed on?

I would have fed her kid, but not under those conditions. I would have bought milk, opened it, put it in her bottle and gave it to her but this is not what the women wanted IMHO, so I would not have bought her groceries. I do not want her to grovel, I wanted to see that this was an accident or a real situation not an entitlement attitude. Now if you really want me to feed her kid, I would be happy to take her home as my own.

How on earth can you know that she knew they were no good? Just as I can't know what her true thoughts/reasons were, neither can you. So, you wouldn't help buy the food for the child that was with her, (but you would if the mother had grovelled) because the mother might in your opinion, have been cheating the system. I guess I see things differently.

I can list a list of things I've done good/and or donated to also..but none of those have to do with judging one person in a grocery store. A lot of our help goes anonomously, and I really have no idea how people are chosen to get the help we have provided. While some may cheat the system, I sure hope the benefit of the doubt is there, and if someone asks for help, it's given. If 9 needy people are helped, and that 10th sneaks in under the radar, so it is.

Nope, this just isn't something you and I would see eye to eye on. Maybe it's the training we get to serve at the mission. We are not to ever make the people we serve feel like they are begging, they'd rather we didn't show up to serve, if we didn't do it with a glad heart...and I don't think some of the people here, would be happy serving some of the people we serve. Heck, some of them are smoking (and drinking) on the way in to get their free food (and most of them do not have employment)..that some of you may have paid for with donations. However a great many have changed their lives after a long time coming to the mission..and I like to think those of us who interact can have a small part of that, because of how we treat them.

Maybe we should all have to be on the other side for just a little while, to see how it feels to be judged. It can happen in a flash, even with large savings. The story's some have to tell are heartbreaking.

 

[sha_lyn]

Do you really all think she would have bought pop over milk for her child? Maybe I am naive but I don't.

As I posted earlier, I've know 2 families that would. One would sell their WIC formula to buy beer, wine coolers cigarettes and pot. The other would go to churches begging for grocery $$ then spend it all on beer, cigarettes and pot. Yes you are very naive if you don't believe there are people out there that put their wants above their children's needs.

 

[DMRick]

I don't know that I have not judged..I like to think I have not, but I am human, so no, I can't say for sure. I hope I've not hurt anyone if I have. I do know that I have learned the hard way how much it can hurt to be the person being judged. I know there are people here who have not had it as good as others..that have been on welfare, and that found feeding their kids was harder than they thought when they had them. I hope I've never been responsible for hurting them.

I will tell you, that our local mission will not keep on volunteers who do judge their clients. It's a Christian mission, and the goal is to bring them in, feed their spirits and tummy's...no judging allowed..period. Some people here would definately have a problem with some of the people who come in.

I'm pretty sure, just so you would feed her child, she wasn't willing to give her to you.

I have no idea why the wic coupons didn't work, if it was an accident or what.

Yep, on this one, we'll agree to disagree about the judging and posting.

We will have to agree to disagree. I see it one way and you see it another. I actually have worked at our mission and took the training classes too. I have a right to my own opinion as you do yours. So you can really tell me you have never seen somebody do something and then not made a judgement or is it only this issue that judgement is not allowed on?

I would have fed her kid, but not under those conditions. I would have bought milk, opened it, put it in her bottle and gave it to her but this is not what the women wanted IMHO, so I would not have bought her groceries. I do not want her to grovel, I wanted to see that this was an accident or a real situation not an entitlement attitude. Now if you really want me to feed her kid, I would be happy to take her home as my own.

 

[DMRick]

We all judge eachother - every day - and in both good and bad ways. Anyone who says otherwise is, IMO, lying. It's human nature..

I guess I'm a liar then..I really hope I don't do this.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I will tell you, that our local mission will not keep on volunteers who do judge their clients. It's a Christian mission, and the goal is to bring them in, feed their spirits and tummy's...no judging allowed..period. Some people here would definately have a problem with some of the people who come in.

I thought all missions were Christian missions. The one I volunteered at was. I worked there one day every week for 6 months, then went back to work. I got to work mostly with the kids from 3-7 years old, since they needed a daytime person to help with the kids, so the parents could work. The full time employees told me stuff about each kid's background, so that some of their behavior was better explained. Some of what they told me could have been considered judgemental, but it really did help to know how to interact with the kids. The things I did with the kids was feed them snacks, do arts and crafts, organized gym time, playtime and some early learning stuff. Many of the older kids should have been in Kindergarten, but were not ready to go. I still have fond memories of a little boy named Philip. I spent a great deal of the day one on one with him. He was deemed a bad kid by the staff (and they told me to keep an eye on him - One of the staff members did seem to understand him better and came to the same conclusion that I did), but was actually just a kid who needed a little more attention. He had loving and caring parents (who I met) that did their best, but his disabled sister took most of the family time and money.

My point is that all people make judgements from what they see and their own instincts. That does not make them a bad person. How they use the information they have may make them less than angels, but we are all only human.

I'm pretty sure, just so you would feed her child, she wasn't willing to give her to you.

I was being sarcastic about taking her kid home.

 

[DMRick]

The full time employees told me stuff about each kid's background, so that some of their behavior was better explained. Some of what they told me could have been considered judgemental, but it really did help to know how to interact with the kids.

No, that was not what I was talking about here. Learning about why the kids are like they are (like knowing a child behaves a certain way, because of Fetal Alcohol Syndrom, or because his father had beat him) is not in the same scope as being Judgemental. I mean that word just like a dictionary meaning "characterized by a tendency to judge harshly". I don't think the teacher was telling you about the kids for you to judge them harshly, but to help them. For instance, one of our clients has serious medical problems, which we know about, and that helps us to excuse certain behavior. Just because we are told about him, it doesn't mean we are being judgemental about him, but that we may have to make a judgement about if the behavior is because of the medical problem. In speaking about this post, I think many are judging harshly. Do you see the difference?

 

[Minniespal]

Very sad.

 

[mickeyfan2]

No, that was not what I was talking about here. Learning about why the kids are like they are (like knowing a child behaves a certain way, because of Fetal Alcohol Syndrom, or because his father had beat him) is not in the same scope as being Judgemental. I mean that word just like a dictionary meaning "characterized by a tendency to judge harshly". I don't think the teacher was telling you about the kids for you to judge them harshly, but to help them. For instance, one of our clients has serious medical problems, which we know about, and that helps us to excuse certain behavior. Just because we are told about him, it doesn't mean we are judging him, but that we may have to make a judgement about if the behavior is because of the medical problem. In speaking about this post, I think many are judging harshly. Do you see the difference?

I know what you are saying, but to tell me Philip was a bad kid was being judgemental (and she was the head of the childrens center). I found out that the other kids took advantage of Philip (to get his toy for example) because everybody knew he was a bad kid. Only myself (after working with Philip) and one of the staff knew it was a lack of attention problem that he really had. Once I spent a few weeks (1 day per week) with him, they stopped calling him a bad kid and the other kids wanted to play with him. When I started the other kids treated him as an outcase. The time when I met his Mom and Dad, the Mom told me that Philip told her all about me and she thank me for giving him the attention he needed from an adult.

 

[DMRick]

So she wasn't telling you about him, to help him? I guess I'm confused. In any case, I'm sure she wasn't telling you about him, because she looked down on him, but to help him. I'm pretty sure you guys didn't think he was behaving like that to cheat the system LOL. If she was just trying to help him, and not just gossip about him, I don't see that as the same as what has been talked about here.

I know what you are saying, but to tell me Philip was a bad kid was being judgemental (and she was the head of the childrens center). I found out that the other kids took advantage of Philip (to get his toy for example) because everybody knew he was a bad kid. Only myself (after working with Philip) and one of the staff knew it was a lack of attention problem that he really had. Once I spent a few weeks (1 day per week) with him, they stopped calling him a bad kid and the other kids wanted to play with him. When I started the other kids treated him as an outcase. The time when I met his Mom and Dad, the Mom told me that Philip told her all about me and she thank me for giving him the attention he needed from an adult.

 

[VSL]

In speaking about this post, I think many are judging harshly.

And so you are judging those of us in this thread who believe that the lady in the OP's post was behaving in a way that suggests that she was trying to 'work' the system.

If you make a judgement about someone (good/bad/neutral), you are being 'judgemental', as you are judging them in some way.

This is why it annoys me when people say 'oh, look at everyone judging', because they are doing exactly the same thing to the people who they are calling judgemental.

Like I said, it's human nature - you'd have to be positively angelic to not judge someone. We have bias as mere mortals.

 

[mickeyfan2]

So she wasn't telling you about him, to help him? I guess I'm confused. In any case, I'm sure she wasn't telling you about him, because she looked down on him, but to help him. I'm pretty sure you guys didn't think he was behaving like that to cheat the system LOL. If she was just trying to help him, and not just gossip about him, I don't see that as the same as what has been talked about here.

Of course he was not cheating the system. He was a 5 year old boy. He had the same right to be there as every other kid. No the head only told me to watch Philip because he was a bad kid. The other staff lady told me about the severly disabled sister, the father working many and odd hours to pay the bill and the mother using every waking hour caring for the sister. The second person was trying to help but the head just want to keep Philip from causing trouble. BTW I quickly learned that most of the trouble he "caused" was started by another kid who knew Philip would be blamed.

Also the head pointed him out but did not tell me anything about most of the other kids. There were 60 or so kids at the center. So yes SHE was judgemental.

 

[chobie]

And so you are judging those of us in this thread who believe that the lady in the OP's post was behaving in a way that suggests that she was trying to 'work' the system.

If you make a judgement about someone (good/bad/neutral), you are being 'judgemental', as you are judging them in some way.

This is why it annoys me when people say 'oh, look at everyone judging', because they are doing exactly the same thing to the people who they are calling judgemental.

Like I said, it's human nature - you'd have to be positively angelic to not judge someone. We have bias as mere mortals.

I beleive the key word in post was "harshly". Her concern was that people were judging harshly. It would be one thing to say "I don't think that woman should be buying soda when she could have bought something with nutritional value." It is quite another thing when people go in to diatribes assuming that anyone is public assistance is cheating the system, a lousy parent, a bad person etc. And all those harsh judgments are made any time anyone talks about people on public assistance.

 

[VSL]

Ah. Fair enough.

I was wondering myself when the posts started just talking about people on 'benefits' (as 'tis called here in the UK) - I didn't understand. I've known plenty of people to get some kind of assistance (anyone with kids in the UK gets tax credits, I think). Maybe because of the area I live in (neither well off nor really poor) I don't see it in the real world , although I can very well imagine people judging someone purely because they get assistance

Just like to point out:
While I do get the impression that the lady in the OP's OP was trying to 'work' the system, I don't think that everyone in public assistance is some kind of lowlife (my mother had some kind of assistance when I was little I believe - she was a young, single mother who worked as a cleaner and we lived with my nan and her younger brother).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

How on earth can you know that she knew they were no good?
.

Ignorance is not an excuse.

The dates are clearly printed.

Along the lines of people who "didn't know" their account balances either.


All the information for that check is printed plain as day on the front.

As far as the poster you quoted---if the check is not accepted and you happen to witness the transaction--then you do know that it was not good for whatever reason.

In my experience for the most part--they didn't realizen and they read it wrong....but that is not lack of knowledge--that is failure to read carefully.

(And most who read it wrong--were very apologetic and I didn't judge them for it. Big difference of---oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize AND I can't feed my child what do you mean you can't take it. One is nice and one is not--when one is not nice--one gets judged negatively).