Crazy Over Protective Mom Question

[famofsix]

I refuse to enable my kids to live in fear so I have taught them what to do if a strange car approaches them and to trust their gut instincts.

Bad things happen. The chance of bad things happening to a child waiting for the bus is slim to none. If parents took that approach on everything, we would never allow our children to ride the bus because kids die in school bus accidents.

I know people who don't want to send their child to school because of what happened at Columbine. It was horrible what happened there, but I don't see that as a reason not to send a child to school.

HOWEVER, if you need the peace of mind of seeing her off on the bus and she wants you there, it's no big deal

 

[ilovejack02]

I requested sitting in the car with my mom when it got cold, not sure where you live but a heated car is a great bargaining tool

With a 105 heat index at 9 am here this morning and school starting tomorrow, an air conditioned car can be a bargaining tool too. Humidity does bad things to hair LOL. Im not sure OP I could let my kiddo wait alone in that situation, two kiddos yes, one no. I let my 8 year old meet the bus alone, has been since mid kinder. But we live down the street and around corner from school so all traffic on street is school traffic, I can see the bus coming when looking out window. I plan on letting him ride bike to school this year if he wants to.

 

[njmom47]

I would agree that driving her and sitting in the car together would work for me. When dds were in middle school, we lived between 2 bus stops. Some days, I would sit in the car and when the bus was at the first stop, honk the horn, they would run out, jump in the car and we would follow the bus to the 2nd stop. They were not easy to get up and out of the house in the AM! (We live in a townhome development so I could see the other court from my parking spot). But when the weather was bad, I would drive them to the bus stop, either 1st or 2nd depending on how early they were ready. I was not the only parent sitting there.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Well, the year I started middle school I biked 3/4 of a mile to my best friends house then walked the rest of the way to school with her every day until it started snowing, and then I took the bus which arrived at our house a good 30 minutes after both my parents had left for work.

Sitting with my dad in the car to wait for the bus was old about the time I learned to read. Your daughter will be fine.

 

[daisax]

If you're going to drive her down the driveway and sit with the car running, you might as well drive her to school.

Can't we learn anything from Jaycee Dugard's story?

Elizabeth Smart was taken from her own bedroom with her sister in it. Do you let your child sleep alone in her bedroom?

 

[NikitaZee]

Last week in my town we got a phone call and e-mail notice of a guy following a teenage jogger (on my street) and attempting to accost her. We're on the lookout for the truck now, but nothing yet. Since I've lived in this town (4 years) that's the 3rd such call/e-mail we've gotten. So, although it's a statistically low chance of happening, 3x in 4 years is enough to keep me on my guard. Are those statistics even part of the official numbers? Scenarios like the one I described above?
As for watching your daughter OP, I'd stay close by and not up at the top of the driveway. How much of a deterrent are you if you can't be seen, and can't get there within a few seconds? Could you busy yourself - garden nearby, bring the dog down for a walk - so it looks like you're multitasking while you wait, and not necessarily just standing there?

 

[ZephyrHawk]

If you're going to drive her down the driveway and sit with the car running, you might as well drive her to school.

Just want to point out that this is the most dangerous suggestion made yet. The OP's daughter is much more likely to be injured in an accident while her mom drives her to school then ever coming into contact with a dangerous predator.

 

[cornflake]

ITA!!!! I am reading her book now~ I really don't care how embarrassed my kid is or would be. There are sicko's everywhere

As noted above, this isn't really a thing. Stranger abduction is incredibly, incredibly rare - and always has been btw, though the rates of violent crimes have declined significantly over the past few decades, that particular crime has always been very, very rare.

As for all the stories about kids being 'approached' by a strange vehicle, spoken to by someone, etc., a lot of them are fearful kids, some may be true but actually doing anything is really, really rare. Obviously one is too many but as someone upthread said - your child is in far more danger from just driving with you, or from being molested by someone you know and possibly from being hit by lightening than they are from being abducted by a stranger.

 

[aprilgail2]

We live a block from the school. When dd starts first grade, maybe even kindergarten, I plan on walking her a few times but then letting her do it on her own. Its about growing up and kids have been walking to school for hundreds of years.

LOL--good luck with that -- if you had your kindergarten child walking to and from school the school would have an issue with that. In fact they won't release your "walker" child unless a parent is there to get them in those grades and if you are not at the bus stop to meet your child they take that child right back to the school-call you and if they can't get in touch with you before the school closes the police are called. Expect many visits from CPS if you plan on going that route LOL.

Elizabeth Smart was taken from her own bedroom with her sister in it. Do you let your child sleep alone in her bedroom?

Yes but I sure as heck make sure every window is shut tight and locked! Would never have an open window!

 

[golfgal]

If you're going to drive her down the driveway and sit with the car running, you might as well drive her to school.

I agree--there is a mom not far from here that DROVE her kids 2 HOUSES to the bus stop, sat in the car with the car running while her kids were out playing with the 20+ other kids at the bus stop. She was there for at least 15 minutes each morning (used to pass her on the way to work-saw when the bus picked them up). It would have taken no more than 7 minutes to drive her kids to school and get back home. What a waste of gas .

OP, is there enough line of sight that you can wait with her NEAR the bus stop, still back on your driveway and make a quick "escape" so her friends don't see you when the bus gets closer?

For all of you that are afraid of a stranger snatching your child--you do realize that your child is safer in a park among hundreds of strangers then she/he is in their own home as 99% of all "abductions" is by someone known to that child, right???

 

[Magpie]

LOL--good luck with that -- if you had your kindergarten child walking to and from school the school would have an issue with that. In fact they won't release your "walker" child unless a parent is there to get them in those grades and if you are not at the bus stop to meet your child they take that child right back to the school-call you and if they can't get in touch with you before the school closes the police are called. Expect many visits from CPS if you plan on going that route LOL.

Yes but I sure as heck make sure every window is shut tight and locked! Would never have an open window!

Depends on where you live. In my town, many first graders walk to school. NO one calls Children's Aid, just because they see a child unaccompanied in public.

Heck, in the past I've had a 4yo knocking on my window after dark, looking to see if my kids can come out and play. The 6yo I tutor sometimes walks over to my house with her toddler brother in tow, just to say hi. I've had neighbours ring my doorbell, wondering if their children are in my house because it's dinner time and they don't know where they are.

I honestly thought it was a bit weird when my then-11yo son's day camp wanted me to sign a waiver so he could take public transit home, instead of having to sit on his tuckus waiting for me to pick him up every day. But I understand it's a legal liability thing.

When bad things happen to kids in our neck of the woods, it's almost always their parents who hurt them - not strangers.

P.S. I do hope your children can open their own windows, in the event of a fire!

 

[golfgal]

LOL--good luck with that -- if you had your kindergarten child walking to and from school the school would have an issue with that. In fact they won't release your "walker" child unless a parent is there to get them in those grades and if you are not at the bus stop to meet your child they take that child right back to the school-call you and if they can't get in touch with you before the school closes the police are called. Expect many visits from CPS if you plan on going that route LOL.



Yes but I sure as heck make sure every window is shut tight and locked! Would never have an open window!

YOUR school may have an issue with that but not ALL schools do. Our kids walked to and from school in kindergarten. We just had to fill out a form at the beginning of the year so the school knew what mode of transportation the kids were taking home. If that change (taking a bus to a friend's house, etc.) we just sent a note in to the teacher that day. Some schools do use common sense

 

[krcit]

I've been thinking about this thread. When I was in school, I walked around the corner, completely out of sight of my mom all by myself starting in 2cnd grade(my brother was 6 years older so he went to a different school) My mom didn't even get up to see me leave after probably 4th grade. I also walked everywhere alone when I was in middle school. Now, as a parent with teenage girls, I try to give them some independence but it is hard. My mom was a good mom but I was the 3rd child and she had mellowed out. I also think in this age of instant information, we hear every little thing that happens and it heightens our fears.

 

[golfgal]

I've been thinking about this thread. When I was in school, I walked around the corner, completely out of sight of my mom all by myself starting in 2cnd grade(my brother was 6 years older so he went to a different school) My mom didn't even get up to see me leave after probably 4th grade. I also walked everywhere alone when I was in middle school. Now, as a parent with teenage girls, I try to give them some independence but it is hard. My mom was a good mom but I was the 3rd child and she had mellowed out. I also think in this age of instant information, we hear every little thing that happens and it heightens our fears.

I walked 8 blocks to kindergarten (well HOME from Kindergarten) by myself, every day. It was along one of the busiest streets in town (sidewalk but I still had to cross that street by myself). It was up hill-both ways too--really--we lived on one hill and the school was up another hill . No one even thought twice about doing that when we were kids. In the morning I walked with my sister, who was in 2nd grade but kindergarten was only 1/2 day so I came home on my own.

 

[deegack]

LOL--good luck with that -- if you had your kindergarten child walking to and from school the school would have an issue with that. In fact they won't release your "walker" child unless a parent is there to get them in those grades and if you are not at the bus stop to meet your child they take that child right back to the school-call you and if they can't get in touch with you before the school closes the police are called. Expect many visits from CPS if you plan on going that route LOL.



Yes but I sure as heck make sure every window is shut tight and locked! Would never have an open window!

Yeah I think CPS has a hell of a lot more to deal with than me allowing my child to walk home one block from school. The kids here all do and we wave to them as they go home. Our town is small and we don't bus kids unless they are special needs. It teaches them independence. Heck some even walk home for lunch. Although I do wonder what kind of town you live in that an unaccompanied child would cause a reaction from CPS. From what I understand its no illegal for a child to walk home a block from school.

oh we occasionally sleep with the windows open.

 

[pperfectmom]

Our driveway is about 1/4 mile long and my kids are still young enough that I don't want them waiting for the bus on a very busy state road where people drive way faster than they should. When they are 11 I would have absolutely no problem with it at all but they do not have the sense to stay out of the road at this point. Since I would have to either walk and wait with them or drive them down(it's also VERY steep)I just go ahead and drive them the 2 miles to school. I don't ever worry much about predators, but do worry about them being flattened in the middle of Highway 60. I always have my doors and windows wide open as well. I can't stand to be in a stuffy, locked up house.

 

[1girln3boys]

Yeah I think CPS has a hell of a lot more to deal with than me allowing my child to walk home one block from school. The kids here all do and we wave to them as they go home. Our town is small and we don't bus kids unless they are special needs. It teaches them independence. Heck some even walk home for lunch. Although I do wonder what kind of town you live in that an unaccompanied child would cause a reaction from CPS. From what I understand its no illegal for a child to walk home a block from school.

oh we occasionally sleep with the windows open.

Same here. If the school took every child back to school when there wasn't a parent there waiting at home then almost every child would be going back to school. When my son was in K we lived in a different house and I was the only parent waiting at the bus stop before and after school. Some days I would loose track of time and the bus would still let my child off the bus without me there. No big deal we lived across the street from the bus stop.
Plus once years ago a bus driver dropped my kids off at the wrong stop without anyone there. They were in 2nd and 4th grade and their first time riding a bus since we had just moved there.
Here now a lot of parents wait at the bus stop but there are lots of kids that get off the bus with no parents there waiting.
Also some kids to walk. No matter what grade you just have to say they are walkers and they can walk home.

 

[daisyduck123]

Elizabeth Smart was taken from her own bedroom with her sister in it. Do you let your child sleep alone in her bedroom?

Yes.

We have an ADT monitored security system & it's on all the time (all doors & windows wired). No one is getting into our house.

 

[disney1990]

First off, no have not read all the responses, so I don't know if this has been suggested yet. Is there another child, not too far away from your home that you could drop your daughter off and the two of them could wait together for the school bus.

 

[castleview]

If you're going to drive her down the driveway and sit with the car running, you might as well drive her to school.



?

Regionalized school system. She will be a town over and the drive is about 15-20 minutes one way - and I have younger ones at home. If the school were in town, this wouldn't be an issue.