Crazy Over Protective Mom Question

[castleview]

So my DD11 is starting sixth grade. We received the letter with the bus routes today and she will be picked up at the bottom of our driveway. Our driveway is about three hundred feet, down the hill, and the bottom is not visible from our house. Obviously, she'll be the only one at the bus stop. We live on a state road that can be both very busy and very quiet at times. I know I can't stand with her because it is middle school, but I'm not comfortable with her being by herself down there either. So thinking back to my own days as a middle schooler, I remember that while waiting with Mom is absolutely unacceptable, for some reason waiting with Mom in the car was fine. Is that still the case? Thoughts appreciated.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

You could always hide behind a bush when the bus is coming down the street.

I would be afraid to let her go down there by herself too. After seeing the story of Jaycee Dugard who was snatched on her way to the bus stop.

I think sitting in the car wouldn't be too embarrassing to her. Ask her what she thinks about it.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't wait at my dd's bus stop but I do conveniently walk the dog when she's down there There are kids who live up the hill and around the corner from the stop, and some of their parents do wait in the car.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My 11 yo son would happily wait in the car with us. It is cold and nasty here most of the school year.

My 14 yo son would probably ask us to just go ahead and kill him now before he agreed to it.

 

[Pigeon]

I took my kid to the bus stop in the car at that age. She only found it moderately embarrassing, but since she's embarrassed by my very existence, I didn't worry about it too much.

 

[monkeyboy]

It's not the waiting in the car....it's the jamming to your music that bugs them

 

[morethananyonex]

I requested sitting in the car with my mom when it got cold, not sure where you live but a heated car is a great bargaining tool

 

[3smithboys]

I just asked DS(12) who will be going into 7th grade what he thought... he agrees to no standing at the bus stop, but sitting in the car is fine. DH did the same thing when it was raining or very cold/snowing but still had school. She needs to be safe - end of story.

 

[krcit]

If there were other kids at the stop I would be ok with not seeing her but you have to do what you're comfortable with. She is getting older though and you need to foster independence. This might be a good first step. It's so hard though I know.


oops, just reread the original post. I had misread it that there would be other kids with her. I'd probably have her in the car also!

 

[castleview]

I live in New England. It will be hot for September, lovely for most of October, miserable until early May…by then she'll be too lazy to even walk down the hill.

Great, hysterical answers by the way.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

We also have a very long drive way and back when I let the kids ride the bus my DH would sit down at the end of the drive way with the car running to keep them safe & warm, then he would go on to work. Now I just drive them to and from school because we had bus issues.

 

[C.Ann]

Since the day my DGD started school, her grandfather has come over every single morning to wake her up, make her breakfast, and stand at the bus stop with her.. It's always been their special bonding time - "one-on-one chats" - something they both love and look forward to.. (She's an only grandchild on that side..)

Well - last year she started 7th grade and the bus no longer stops in front of the house.. It's down the road a bit, around a bend that can't really be seen from the house.. Her grandpa asked her if she still wanted him to come over every morning and she said, "Absolutely!! That's our time to talk!!" Then came the bus stop question.. It was hard for her - because she's very sensitive to others feelings - so she simply suggested that he could sit in his car at the end of the driveway - facing out towards the road (where the bus passes by on the way out of the neighborhood) and it seemed like a good compromise.. He's not standing "at" the bus stop with her - but she still enjoys being able to wave goodbye as the bus is leaving the area.. No one has ever given her a hard time about it.. If anything, several kids have mentioned that they're jealous..

I would ask your DD what she would feel most comfortable with - and if you're in agreement, take it from there..

 

[CozumelDisneyFan]

http://www2.wjbf.com/news/2011/jun/09/dad-embarasses-teen-son-every-day-school-year-ar-1950846/

 

[Magpie]

You're the only one who can make this call, based on where you live and what you know of your child.

Me? I've been letting my children stand alone at the bus stop for years, just as I've been letting them ride public transit and go to the grocery store alone. I certainly wouldn't stand with one of them in Middle School! But I live in a very safe neighbourhood, in a very safe city, and there's always pedestrians around. So it's a different situation.

I don't think this is an issue of good parenting or bad parenting - just a matter doing what you've got to do.

 

[famofsix]

I would let her choose what to do...she is old enough to know not to go up to strange cars and only get on the busshe will likely want a warm car in the winter or when it is raining

 

[aprilgail2]

I would let her choose what to do...she is old enough to know not to go up to strange cars and only get on the busshe will likely want a warm car in the winter or when it is raining

Its not even so much them going up to strange cars--its the cars pulling up and just grabbing the dang kids now. I let my daughter go most places- she is 11 and walks a mile with friends to the local pizza place and ice cream place....but I don't let her stand alone at a bus stop- thats just inviting some car to pull up and snatch them! I solved it pretty easy though since my daughter hates taking the bus I just drop her off at school on my way to work and she takes the bus home- the afternoon bus driver is nice and will drop her up the block from the house (not a bus stop!).

 

[golfgal]

http://www2.wjbf.com/news/2011/jun/09/dad-embarasses-teen-son-every-day-school-year-ar-1950846/

Do NOT show that to my DH or he would be trying to compete with this guy

OP, I don't know what to say, she should be fine in most areas waiting for the bus at the end of your driveway, even if it is long. Are there other neighbors along the road that will be out too?

 

[castleview]

Do NOT show that to my DH or he would be trying to compete with this guy

OP, I don't know what to say, she should be fine in most areas waiting for the bus at the end of your driveway, even if it is long. Are there other neighbors along the road that will be out too?

No - it's the kind of road where people open their garages and leave for work, come home and shut the garage. They're all nice people - just doing their own thing. Plus the houses are about an acre apart or are set back lots like ours. If this makes any sense…it's a busy road, but the homes have a lot of privacy.

 

[hereyago]

I do not consider myself over protective, but this thread struck a memory for me:

When DD12 was going to her middle school orientation for 6th grade, the bus stop for it was in front of apartments that kind of look "seedy". She hadn't been on a bus since pre school, her elementary school was within walking distance.

But her and her friend( who had gone to private school with no busing) were about to embark on a new world.

The apartments are behind our houses, but the front of apartments I can't see to. So, the great grandmother of the other girl and myself found ourselves walking together a couple minutes after the girls started walking and we "watched" them from behind a bush.

The dang bus was late, well they saw us and called us of course they could hear our ringers because we didn't shut them off. we were acting like we weren't there and they walked up behind the big shrubbery. It was hysterical. they were not amused, but we almost had to take them and the bus FINALLY showed up.

Now of course after that her bus stop was at the end of our street, but both girls are smart, but sometimes they will have moments of the light is on but nobodys home and we could imagine if a bus came by they might not ask if it was going to such and such school,since that day was both elementary and middle school orientation.

 

[cassiez76]

i'd probably wait with her.

i was in 5th grade and that was the only year i rode the bus. we were the first stop on the route. it was 2 blocks from my house. there were about 5 of us that caught the bus.

i can't tell you how many times the bus decided to leave us. the next stop was 4 blocks over and there was never a way for us to run and catch it.

my mom finally just drove me down to the bus stop and waited until they picked us up to make sure we actually had a ride to school. if not, she'd take us all in our station wagon to school.

mom was a teacher and was so glad when that year was up because it meant me going to a school on her way to school.