Chivalry is not dead!

[disneyjunkie]

I only give my seat up to the elderly.

When leaving the parks after spending the whole day walking around, I want to sit down. I won't get on the bus if I have to stand. I'd rather wait the extra minutes for the next bus and get a seat.

If I'm willing to wait for the next bus, why should I have to give my seat to a person that decided not to wait? In most cases they knew the bus was standing room only before getting on.
(All of this goes out the window if the person is elderly.)

I think that those people who give their seats to others are very considerate. I think those that get on a bus and expect others to give them a seat are inconsiderate.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

I guess it's just the way a person is brought up. I will stand to offer my seat and hold doors for men and women. It's been my experiences on Disney busses that most of the men will stand to offer seats, also.

 

[kilee]

I could see more Southern men giving up a seat -they tend to have "manners" like opening doors, giving a lady a seat, holding a door, etc.. I am from NY though and forget getting a seat on the subway if you are a woman or pregnant People will knock you down for one.

Being from NY too, I tend to be in shock that you would pigeon hole an entire state of men into 1 category!! I just returned from a long weekend trip out of state w/ DH & DS last night. I made the comment numerous times to DH about how incredibly rude the people of the area seemed to be. I won't name where we went because I realize that not every person from that area deserves that "title". It just so happens that the person's we encountered pretty much all weekend were rude.

Like you, I'm amazed at how many men just turn the other way.

Without knowing them you don't know for sure they don't have a true medical condition. They make actually be embarassed and ashamed that they need that seat too and can't offer it to you. These would obviously be people who might of waited 2 or 3 busses to get a seat as well. It's so hard to put everyone into 1 category.

 

[TwingleMum]

Just wanted to say "Thank You" to all those out there that give up their seats for elder persons, pregnant woman and people with small children. As they said in Steel Magnolias "Your Mother raised you right". I do not think that people with children are better than people without. I think the OP missed the point. Its difficult to balance on a bus with a small child in your arms. I work in a male dominated profession. I'm no one's doormat. But I am also secure enough in my own abilities and ego to not be threatened or insulted if anyone offered me a seat if I was pregnant or holding my small child. I would gratefuly accept the gesture in the spirit it was intended and thank the person. I try to instill in my 4 yr old son good manners. To shake someone's hand and say pleased to meet you. Please, thank you ,etc etc. If there was an elder person,pregnant woman or someone with a small child standing. I would have him sit on my lap and offer the seat to the person explaining to him how its the polite considerate thing to do. This is how he learns what is expected of him. How its nice to do small acts of kindness. Yes dear OP giving up your seat for someone more needy isn't a show of weakness its a show of kindness. As for the NYC comment I have lived here my whole life and people here can be in a hurry and sometimes rude. But I think the world also found out that NY'ers can also be capable of incredible acts of heroism and kindness. Its out there you just have to look. So dear Dis'ers Pay it Forward.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

Originally posted by TwingleMum
As for the NYC comment I have lived here my whole life and people here can be in a hurry and sometimes rude. But I think the world also found out that NY'ers can also be capable of incredible acts of heroism and kindness. Its out there you just have to look. So dear Dis'ers Pay it Forward.

I grew up in the Tri-State area and worked in New York for many years before I moved to Florida. Being in a hurry is no excuse for being rude. It only takes a second to hold the door for someone or to say "excuse me" if you bump into someone. I'm not directing this at you, TwingleMum, just an observation.

It would be great if New Yorkers and others would take that kindness and good will from 9/11 and carry it over to their everyday lives, every day.

 

[plutospup]

I'm always surprised (and appreciative!) of the many women (as well as men) who offer this "sleeping DD carrying Daddy" their seat. It never fails, DD is the Everready Bunny until we get to the bus stop. That's when DD is ready for Daddy to carry her, and fall asleep. Thanx to all!

 

[PatriciaH]

Originally posted by kilee
Being from NY too, I tend to be in shock that you would pigeon hole an entire state of men into 1 category!!

What category? I just made a comment that most men and/or woman do not give up their seats on the subway or busses in NY. I noticed this after riding the subways for years. And it is not just the "native" New Yorkers that fight for seats. Maybe it is just a fast pased rush rush rush, I am tired thing. Who knows. Do some NY-ers get up for older people or people that look like they need a seat-yes. Do a lot of people in NY have manners-yes-I was one of them I was just making an observation.

Originally posted by kilee
Without knowing them you don't know for sure they don't have a true medical condition. They make actually be embarassed and ashamed that they need that seat too and can't offer it to you. These would obviously be people who might of waited 2 or 3 busses to get a seat as well. It's so hard to put everyone into 1 category.

That was the point I was trying to make as well.

 

[GlennandAnn]

My DH always gives his seat up for either a woman or a senior citizen. I plan to teach our DS's the same thing. Another thing that really irks me is when there is a child who is small enough to sit on a parent's lap sitting in a seat on a crowded bus, boat or monorail. When I was a kid (not too long ago) my parents would have killed me if I was sitting when an adult was standing. I always put my son (sometimes both sons) on my lap on WDW transportation.


Ann

 

[Coggy]

A lot of this can be laid at the feet of Disney! If they would just run more busses during peak times, then they would not have to ruin people's magic day by shoehorning them into a tin can on wheels. They should limit how many people can get on one bus. It's rediculous how packed they let the busses get. After a full day of sweating in the hot parks, it's not fun sitting down, smelling everyone else's rearends. That is reason enough to let someone have your seat, male or female, young or old. Let them sniff your butt, instead of the other way around.

Let's take this manners thing a little further. Would you give up your place in line at a ride to an elderly or woman with a sleeping child in her arms? I think I know the answer to that.

 

[jbthi]

I'm a 62 year old woman with some health problems and foot problems but when someone offers me their seat I politely thank them but say no thank you. If I do not feel like standing I will wait for the next bus.

My husband looks younger and healthy, but he has severe back problems and I am not happy when he offers someone his seat.

I do think parents could hold small children rather than let them have a seat to themselves.

 

[MelessaG]

I will never forget how grateful I was to the woman who gave her seat to my DH while he carried one of our sleeping children onto the monorail. I was so nervous he might lose his balance with her when it started moving. I believe the rest of us were standing for the trip, but as long as he was seated-I was happy. I must have thanked her about 5 times.
Now, at 9 mos. pregnant and extremely uncomfortable, I would love a seat, BUT I would never go to WDW this far along in my pregnancy either.

 

[Cinderella37]

"Let's take this manners thing a little further. Would you give up your place in line at a ride to an elderly or woman with a sleeping child in her arms? I think I know the answer to that."

Actually, we have let people go ahead of us lines, especially character greeting lines. As an adult, I love getting my picture taken with the characters (my fiance grudgingly goes along and has fun with it), but if the character only has time for one more family and the kids behind me are going to be devestated, we step aside and invite the other families to meet the character rather than go in front of a small child.

I'm proud that my parents raised me with manners, as did my fiance's parents. When we have children, we plan to bring them up in the same way.

"When I was a kid (not too long ago) my parents would have killed me if I was sitting when an adult was standing."

LOL!!! At 27, my parents would still kill me if I was - I've never had a chair while opening presents at my Great Aunt's or Aunt's house on Christmas Eve yet! And I don't think I sat on furniture at my grandmother's house until I was at least 16 (we had a large family).

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by Goofster57
We had a little different experience once. We got on the bus very late after a long day at the park. The bus was crowded, standing room only. A twenty something man got up and offered his seat to my mother, the women he was with that we found out later was his wife was furious with him. You could see her burning a hole through him with her eyes and then when the poor guy got off the bus she started in with the verbal berating. We all got off at Wilderness Lodge and my Mother made a point to thank the gentleman again and inform the wife how lucky she was to be married to a man that showed caring and compassion to others.

????? Oy. PSA to all the ladies: don't do that! Chivalry should be encouraged, not punished!

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by georgina
Of course, I dated someone once who insisted I sit in the car while he ran around and opened the car door for me, that was even sillier.

OMG, are you serious? I *love* that sort of behavior!

 

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by disneyjunkie
I only give my seat up to the elderly.

When leaving the parks after spending the whole day walking around, I want to sit down. I won't get on the bus if I have to stand. I'd rather wait the extra minutes for the next bus and get a seat.

If I'm willing to wait for the next bus, why should I have to give my seat to a person that decided not to wait? In most cases they knew the bus was standing room only before getting on.
(All of this goes out the window if the person is elderly.)

I think that those people who give their seats to others are very considerate. I think those that get on a bus and expect others to give them a seat are inconsiderate.

ITA. I was the person that the other poster was speaking that said wiat for another bus. My mom cannot balance herself and really has bad knees. I have bad feet! So instead of taking a bus where we know we have to stand, we wait for an empty bus. That way we know we get a seat. I was berated that I still would not give up my seat for the elderly, a pregnant lady, or someone holding a baby. I am not giving up a seat that I waited another bus for. I remarked that if a person really feels they need a seat enough to look down on those that won't give up their seats then wait for another bus. Such a simple concept. I think it is even more rude and shows a lack of manners to expect someone to get up a seat for you. I too traveled with little ones on the bus. If I didn't feel like attempting to balance holding a baby then I waited for another bus. It is amazing how some assume that the person sitting is in great shape. I may look healthy but my feet tell me otherwise. Now when we go to WDW we avoid the buses. It is like a cattle call! We either take our own vehicle of a cab which is wonderful!

 

[MHopkins2]

FTR, I don't ever blame or think badly of someone who doesn't give up their seat. I just give mental "bonus points" to those who do. I will personally give up mine for the elderly, pregnant women in that huge and miserable stage, parents carrying small children, and anyone who looks ill beyond the general "ack, I've been at a theme park for 12 hours!" look. I do not, however, offer to give up my seat for a standing child, unless s/he fits the ill category. Grown ups get just as tired and footsore (if not more so) than kids.

 

[skeletor40]

Wow this thread is really generating some debate

 

[angey77]

Originally posted by Coggy
It's rediculous how packed they let the busses get. After a full day of sweating in the hot parks, it's not fun sitting down, smelling everyone else's rearends. That is reason enough to let someone have your seat, male or female, young or old. Let them sniff your butt, instead of the other way around.

Coggy, don't give up your seat to me next week.

 

[Hollymom1229]

My DH is the sort to give up his seat to just about anyone, I'll give up my seat for the elderly, pregnant, or people with a small child. I have only once gotten angry on a WDW bus. We got on a bus knowing we would stand. There was a teenager laying across 3 seats, and there was an elderly couple standing. I said excuse me to the kid and his mom responded for me to leave him alone, he was tired. I couldn't believe the selfish nerve.

 

[DizBelle]

I just LOVE the spirited discussions we get into on these boards.....

I don't expect ANYONE to give up their seat to me just because I'm female.

How would you define the conditions under which you should give up your seat?

Pregnant - how pregnant? 3 months, 6 months, etc.? What if they look pregnant but you don't know?

Elderly - how old? Some people at age 40 consider themselves "elderly." What criteria do you use to determine if someone is elderly and should get your seat.

Parents holding children - how young should the child be? What if the child is old enough to stand on their own? What if the child is not sleeping?

When I choose to ride the bus I accept that it may be standing room only and accept the consequences of my choice to ride the bus. I've been standing all day, I can wait the extra time to get back to my hotel before sitting. If I have a special need, I'm not going to inconvenience other people to accomodate me. I would consider arranging for alternate transportation and probably not ride the bus. Everyone is at WDW for a magical time and I don't want to detract from anyone's experience.


One thing that really frustrates me is when I'm on a full elevator and standing at the back and when the doors open all of the men squish to the sides of the car (like the parting of the red sea) to let me get out first. All of us are just trying to get out of the elevator, just get out. It will work better for everyone.