Chivalry is not dead!

[DizBelle]

Originally posted by Hollymom1229
My DH is the sort to give up his seat to just about anyone, I'll give up my seat for the elderly, pregnant, or people with a small child. I have only once gotten angry on a WDW bus. We got on a bus knowing we would stand. There was a teenager laying across 3 seats, and there was an elderly couple standing. I said excuse me to the kid and his mom responded for me to leave him alone, he was tired. I couldn't believe the selfish nerve.

That is so wrong. If you're going to occupy a seat on a bus where people are standing, it should be only ONE seat!!!!

 

[PatriciaH]

Originally posted by Hollymom1229
My DH is the sort to give up his seat to just about anyone, I'll give up my seat for the elderly, pregnant, or people with a small child. I have only once gotten angry on a WDW bus. We got on a bus knowing we would stand. There was a teenager laying across 3 seats, and there was an elderly couple standing. I said excuse me to the kid and his mom responded for me to leave him alone, he was tired. I couldn't believe the selfish nerve.

 

[PatriciaH]

Originally posted by skiwee1
I think it is even more rude and shows a lack of manners to expect someone to get up a seat for you.

Hehehe. We were on a Disney bus once after the MK closed. It was one of those packed, smelly busses mentioned. There is probably no way anyone sitting could get up even if they wanted to! The driver kept saying "come on, move to the back we can fit 72 on here.." This younger lady (30-ish) got on and started saying VERY loudly "It would be nice if one of these MEN got up to give some ladies a seat." I was thinking lady sureeeee.......

 

[skeletor40]

There was a teenager laying across 3 seats, and there was an elderly couple standing. I said excuse me to the kid and his mom responded for me to leave him alone, he was tired. I couldn't believe the selfish nerve. [/B][/QUOTE]

I can think of a quite a few words to describe that kid and his mother too; none of which I can write on this board

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by lfontaine
I don't expect ANYONE to give up their seat to me just because I'm female.

Me neither - but it's a nice gesture if they offer.

How would you define the conditions under which you should give up your seat?

No hard and fast rules - it's totally subjective.

One thing that really frustrates me is when I'm on a full elevator and standing at the back and when the doors open all of the men squish to the sides of the car (like the parting of the red sea) to let me get out first. All of us are just trying to get out of the elevator, just get out. It will work better for everyone.

Another small bit of chivalrous behavior that scores points with me. Again, I certainly don't get upset when it doesn't happen, but gold stars are passed out when it does.

Men that know how to handle door opening (push - you go first, pull - she goes first; revolving - you go first, but not so fast that she gets clipped by the door, Mr. Speedy) are real gems as well.

 

[NMAmy]

My DH is one of those gems and I love it! He gives up his seat willingly, opens doors for me, won't let me carry a thing except my purse when he's with me, pulls out my chair for me to sit at the table (even at home!). It's not that he thinks I'm helpless, it's the way he was raised and I make sure to thank his mother (who raised 4 boys with the same manners) every time I see her. It's a wonderful thing.

Now here's the weird thing that happened to us at WDW in March. DD is 13 and there was a little girl standing on the bus in front of her. DD offered the little girl her seat and said she'd sit on my lap (Thanks, kid, you're as big as I am but I'm glad you've got a good heart) The little girl started to sit down and her mother grabbed her arm and said, "No thank you" very snottily. Then I heard her say to her child in a low voice, "You do NOT sit with strangers." Umm...excuse me, you're standing right in front of your child and I've got 120 lbs of kid on my own lap--I'm really not going to bother your little girl. DD was a little freaked and asked me later, "Sheesh, Mom, what did she think we were going to do to that girl?" Kind of difficult to explain that one.

 

[Cinderella37]

MHopkins2 - I totally agree with you and thank my lucky stars that my fiance is that kind of guy!

 

[MHopkins2]

Now here's the weird thing that happened to us at WDW in March. DD is 13 and there was a little girl standing on the bus in front of her. DD offered the little girl her seat and said she'd sit on my lap (Thanks, kid, you're as big as I am but I'm glad you've got a good heart) The little girl started to sit down and her mother grabbed her arm and said, "No thank you" very snottily. Then I heard her say to her child in a low voice, "You do NOT sit with strangers." Umm...excuse me, you're standing right in front of your child and I've got 120 lbs of kid on my own lap--I'm really not going to bother your little girl. DD was a little freaked and asked me later, "Sheesh, Mom, what did she think we were going to do to that girl?" Kind of difficult to explain that one.

What a case of paranoia that was! Sheesh.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

My DH, DS 11 or I will give up our seat to anyone who apears to need it worse than we do. Elderly, pregnant , little children or male or females holding little children. SOMETIMES DH will give up his seat to any female. However, he has back issues and while he looks like a healthy strong 40 some man, some days after a full day in the park, he can NOT stand any longer. If it is full, I still put my 100lb DS on my lap and expect that other parents would do the same ,though many times this does not happen.

As far as waiting for another bus, I can see both ways. I prefer to just stand and get on the first bus. DH would rather wait so not to have to stand. I do have a hard time with waiting for a bus so as not to have to stand and someone crowd on it at the last minute and give up my seat BUT, we have done this before too.
I would never expect a man to give up his seat to me a healty "young" , woman and have never been offered to do so. I would politly refuse but agree that it is such a nice offer. DH would NEVER sit and have me stand. It's all about respect.


Jordans' mom

 

[momtotwinglesx4]

Two years ago, when I was about 6-7 mos. pregnant w/ my 5th child (and looked obviously very pregnant) we got on the monorail and it was quite crowded. My elderly mother was with me and I insisted that she sit in the small space left on the bench seat. My then-5 yr. old twins stood by me and also I had to hold my stroller containing my then-2 yr. old son. My teen daughter also stood. There were some other elderly people sitting on the bench, but sitting right in front of me was a seemingly healthy 40-something couple. My 77 y/o mother kept asking me to sit in her place, and I declined, preferring to stand myself rather than have her stand. I couldn't help looking at the man in front of me as he and his wife whispered to each other. The other elderly people in our car glared at them, but it was quite obvious that this guy wasn't about to give his seat up for a pregnant woman.

I did not ask him to do so, either, but it amazed me how inconsiderate this man and his wife were. I actually stood there embarrassed by his rudeness. It was an awkward and uncomfortable ride. My husband (and most other men I know) wouldn't *dream* of sitting while a pregnant woman stood. It's just common courtesy, for pete's sake!

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I was on the subway recently. We made a stop and the car cleared out, so I grabbed a seat for dd3 and I. Well, this little old lady hobbled onto the car and I offered her my seat. She said, "Oh, no, dear, that's alright." I practically had to shove her into the seat, because I wasn't going to sit there while she stood next to me, lol. Anyway, she took the seat and thanked me profusely. It's amazing how that one little act of kindness totally made my day.

 

[kilee]

I did not ask him to do so, either, but it amazed me how inconsiderate this man and his wife were. I actually stood there embarrassed by his rudeness. It was an awkward and uncomfortable ride.

But how did you know he was healthy??? How do you know he didn't have knee surgery 6 weeks ago? A severly broken leg a few years ago? Or a terrible back? He may of felt just as awkward that he would of had a hard time trying to maintain his balance as he was suffering as well. He may of not of gotten on if he couldn't of gotten a seat, and felt awful that he was sitting while you were standing.

We don't actually use WDW busses anymore. One of the reasons is DH. He will look like a very healthy 29 yr old man to you and everyone else. He was a pedestrian hit by a car a few years ago. His left leg was shattered and required multiple surgeries and 10 months on crutches to repair. Needless to say, the leg is in terrible shape. After doing as much walking as he can stand at WDW, his knee is usually beginning to buckle. He's gotten those looks, and he feels terrible, but his leg is in worse shape than most 80 yr olds. The point is, if you don't actually look down and see the scars (if he's even wearing shorts) then you'd think he was fine!

I btw have an 11 yr old son, who will stand on the monorail even if we are the only ones in the car-- he thinks this is the biggest thrill.

 

[momtotwinglesx4]

Originally posted by kilee
But how did you know he was healthy??? How do you know he didn't have knee surgery 6 weeks ago? A severly broken leg a few years ago? Or a terrible back? He may of felt just as awkward that he would of had a hard time trying to maintain his balance as he was suffering as well. He may of not of gotten on if he couldn't of gotten a seat, and felt awful that he was sitting while you were standing.

I don't know for sure that he was healthy. But the way he and his wife were whispering and acting, and the looks on their faces led me to believe that he was acting more defiant (as in "too bad, I was here 1st") than embarrassed or feeling bad. I guess you had to be there. Even so, it's pretty unlikely that *both* he and his wife were unhealthy--neither had any sort of cane or anything. Whatever.

 

[garydeb]

Hello,

I agree with kilee on this one. How do you know that they both where healthy?? My husband and I both looked healthy on our last trip to WDW I had just had emergency female surgery and he unfortunately messed up this back. We both tried to make the best of the situation because we couldn't get our money back if we cancelled. Yes, we did get the "looks" and were uncomfortable by it all but we were also in pain and discomfort. So we did as much as we could and went back to our room. I hate it when people always assume if they can't see something then you are healthy. So don't always judge a book by the cover. Sorry this is a sore subject with me because I have some friends that you can't tell by looking at them that they have major health problems. ( heart, spine and MS)

-Debbie

 

[pjlla]

Well..... I can tell you one thing for sure..... we are NOT using Disney transportation on our next trip!! Who wants to deal with all this junk? I'll stick to my rental car!.....................P

 

[MikeNBec]

Originally posted by Goofster57
We had a little different experience once. We got on the bus very late after a long day at the park. The bus was crowded, standing room only. A twenty something man got up and offered his seat to my mother, the women he was with that we found out later was his wife was furious with him. You could see her burning a hole through him with her eyes and then when the poor guy got off the bus she started in with the verbal berating. .

that answers your question as to why men dont' do it more. And don't forget holding a door for a woman and she says, "No thank you, I can do it myself."
Blame it on your fellow women, my friends. Or just refuse to believe thats true.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by MikeNBec
that answers your question as to why men dont' do it more. And don't forget holding a door for a woman and she says, "No thank you, I can do it myself."
Blame it on your fellow women, my friends. Or just refuse to believe thats true.

Actually, I totally believe it - I know that's at least partially to blame. *sigh* So one more time, ladies, please don't do that! Encourage random acts of chivalry!

 

[MizlurksaLot]

Just yesterday, I was telling a friend about my bad experiences with the Disney transportation system. I a 21 year old female, sat down and then got right back up again on those buses when I saw a woman with young children get on, several times only to have a young man take the seat before she could And of course, plenty of young men just sat there comfortably and watched my friend and I stand (not that I expected them to give up their seats for us simply because we are female, but some how I was offended that it didn't even occur to them to offer). Perhaps it is old fashioned, but to me chivalry is still important. For heaven's sake, even my grandfather opened doors for me when I was as young as 10, because I was after all a young woman. It truly warms my heart to know that there are still courteous people out there .

 

[mc97]

Originally posted by MikeNBec
And don't forget holding a door for a woman and she says, "No thank you, I can do it myself."

You know what would probably keep chivalry (if that's what you want to call it) alive longer than anything else - a simple "thank you" from the receipient: female, elderly, male, or whoever! Now my mother taught me that you should never expect a thank you when you give someone a gift, but I've lost track of the number of times I've held doors open, given up my seat, etc. and the beneficiary of my kindness acts like it was my job/purpose in life to serve them! So maybe just a simple "Thank You!" because we really do know you can do it yourself

 

[Ever_After]

Originally posted by pjlla
Well..... I can tell you one thing for sure..... we are NOT using Disney transportation on our next trip!! Who wants to deal with all this junk? I'll stick to my rental car!.....................P