Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[JunieJay]

Your post has to be one of the nastiest, rudest, and uncalled for posts I have ever seen! What gives you the right to critize anyone? Do you think you have that right just because you can have children or you do have children?

I wonder...do you consider yourself a nice person? If you do, then you must be on some wonderful drugs and you need to share! But then again, your "name" is 'bfrosty' - that should explain a lot!

And you know, even if you have children it doesn't mean you won't find yourself dying all alone in a nursing home one day. Having children doesn't necessarily mean they will "be there" for you in your old age!

I may not be "cheerfully child-free" but I am trying to accept that I won't have any children. And I'm trying to live a happy life.

I guess your parents never taught you "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all" - huh? Here's a piece of advice you might want to take to heart - THINK BEFORE YOU CRITIZE!


Oh - didn't know it was an old post...didn't pay attention to the date. But I got that off my chest and feel better.

Hopefully my kids will be there for me when I'm in a nursing home.....I also hope they are there for their cheerfully child-free uncle, who has loved them and cared for them since they were babies, even though he is not their parent. You don't have to be a parent to love and care for a child and have that child love and care for you in return. I'd venture to guess besides my husband and I, my kids love their uncle more than they love anyone else in this world. I doubt they would let him linger in a nursing home.......

 

[Fitswimmer]

Hopefully my kids will be there for me when I'm in a nursing home.....I also hope they are there for their cheerfully child-free uncle, who has loved them and cared for them since they were babies, even though he is not their parent. You don't have to be a parent to love and care for a child and have that child love and care for you in return. I'd venture to guess besides my husband and I, my kids love their uncle more than they love anyone else in this world. I doubt they would let him linger in a nursing home.......

I'm a cheerfully child-free aunt who stepped in when Mommy Dearest took a powder to live with her drug dealer BF. I hope DN will at least come visit me! Joking-I know she will. I'm the one she calls when she gets an A on a test, when she gets a new BF, when she needs to rant about her friends. I'm the one she has always gone on vacation with, and that she shares her love of reading with. I know that we'll always be close.

 

[JunieJay]

I'm a cheerfully child-free aunt who stepped in when Mommy Dearest took a powder to live with her drug dealer BF. I hope DN will at least come visit me! Joking-I know she will. I'm the one she calls when she gets an A on a test, when she gets a new BF, when she needs to rant about her friends. I'm the one she has always gone on vacation with, and that she shares her love of reading with. I know that we'll always be close.

Thats great. You sound like a wonderful Aunt.

That said, kids don't have to come from wrecked homes in order to have adult role models who aren't their parents. My kids have many adults they know they can count on besides DH and myself - from relatives to teachers to coaches to family friends. My parents raised me the same way. My parents are now dead but I'm still in touch with the adults who impacted me over the course of my life. They have become parental figures to me now that my own parents are dead. I thank God I have them, to be honest. I hope my kids form that same sort of bond well into adulthood if God forbid their father and I are no longer around.

 

[goofygirl]

I'm a cheerfully child-free aunt who stepped in when Mommy Dearest took a powder to live with her drug dealer BF. I hope DN will at least come visit me! Joking-I know she will. I'm the one she calls when she gets an A on a test, when she gets a new BF, when she needs to rant about her friends. I'm the one she has always gone on vacation with, and that she shares her love of reading with. I know that we'll always be close.

Good for you.

As far as getting visitors in a nursing home- I can't see this as a good reason to have children. That's an awfully selfish reason.

If people visit me in the home, fine. If I have no visitors, fine. It's not something I really think about since I have no real control over it. I live life for today. I could die even well before I get to the "nursing home stage" so why worry about it?

 

[Tarheel Tink]

bfrosty's post is an old post, it's from August of last year. Hopefully she/he/it has long since been banned. It was fun playing bingo with the post though.

The "bingo" game I am referring to is this:

http://7deadlysinners.typepad.com/sinners/2006/04/breeder_bingo_c.html

Well, bfrosty just posted a trip report on the DVC mousecellaneous board after going to VWL- amazing that someone so mean-spirited is still around. Even if he believed what he wrote on this thread did he not think that some people's decision to not have children was not their own but due to health issues? I love VWL but so glad I wasn't "home" when this "person" was there.

 

[RC Fan]

Hello!

It's amazing that this thread was started back in August of 2006 and it is still going! I guess we have had a couple of rude posters, but all in all, it has gone very well. Thanks to all of you for participating and continuing to participate.

 

[Rozzie]

Nursing home visitors? They won't find me in my room anyway, I plan on taking th casino bus every tues and thurs, Fridays I'll be at the shopping center. Mondays are my leave me alone I'm reading a good book and drinking all the wine I want.

Visitors? You know I get this all the time, why I need to have kids so I can have "visitors" at a later age. I've never depended on other people in my life to bring me happiness, why start in old age?

In other news, I am well on my way to getting my 35th bday wish. All my plumbing out. Having lots of female issues lately, and my doc wanted to wait till' I'm 35 "just to make sure". Might get my bday present early by a year or two.

 

[LoraJ]

The other day at work, some guy just couldn't let it go that we're not going to have children. I guess when you're newly married in your early 20's it just seems natural to him.

But I am 38. I wouldn't say that I am cheerfully child-free, but it would be tough for us to have kids. So I have come to accept that I won't. I don't need people giving me reasons for me to have kids and a comeback to all of my reasons not to. Just let it be. I can't even begin to tell you how irritated I was.

Having children does not mean automatic happiness and love. My cousin just committed suicide due to her depression dealing with her autistic child.

 

[PhotobearSam]

As for having visitors in the old age home...If I have enough money, my nieces will come to see me...He he...

DH's great aunt who had her only child die decades ago would get a ton of visitors from the entire family because she was nice but I also assume it's because she was loaded.

She passed and DH was so sad, he takes family very seriously and would have visited even if she was as poor as a church mouse.

I plan to live by my rules and if anyone wants to come see me in the "Home" great but if not, great too...

I am going to a baby shower today...I do not envy this person at all but I am happy for her...Different strokes for different folks...

Have a good day all..

 

[Mono~rail]

That bingo card is funny.

Not every "litter" is the result of fertility treatments.

 

[Barbossa]

I'm not child free, I have a DS4 and DD6 who I love more than anything in creation. Despite this, I sometimes long for the days when I was child-free (OK, maybe 1-2 times a day! ). Parenthood does a 180 degree turn on your entire life, my heart is hostage to my children and their welfare, a burden that is emotionally draining at times. I often say that I wouldn't go through the hassle of being a parent for anyone but my own kids. Looking back I think the pros and cons of being a parent or being childless are pretty balanced. It's certainly up to the individual. I actually admire folks who know that they don't want to become parents and remain childless. It's better than folks who don't want kids having kids.

 

[Jaclynfett]

I'd never seen that bingo card before. I feel for you if those are the comments you have to hear regularly.

 

[Rozzie]

The bingo card was great!

It amazes me how many comments I get, we have been together 12 years, married for 10. Our families have "given up" and no longer mention it. However, the coworker thing just drives me batty. I get so tired of people thinking there is something "wrong" with me for not wanting children.

 

[goofygirl]

Barbossa, thanks for the nice comment

LoraJ, sorry about your cousin. Very sad.

I haven't heard the "bingos" in awhile, thank goodness. They are starting to die out as I get older.

I feel for CF couples (and singles) who still get bingoed after many years.

Wow, I can't believe bfrosty is still around. If any of us posted something like that about children/parents, we'd never get away with it.

 

[goofygirl]

bump!! How was Thanksgiving?

 

[goofygirl]

Bump for the Xmas season!! Shout out your plans!!

 

[Fitswimmer]

Christmas at WDW-from 12/16 to 12/21, then off to the parentals for the actual holiday. We will be spending one day in St Augustine with all the cousins and the kids, which will be nice. I haven't seen most of them in 2 years.

Disney trip is now all adult-DN turned 21 last July!

 

[Mischa]

We're not only child-free but we're also family-free! I'm an only child and my parents have passed away (dad just this past summer) and DH's family have basically disappeared (they were strange anyways) so it'll be just DH & me and our fur-babies for Christmas.

We had planned on going to Disney, but DH just got a new job so we won't be able to go until next year. So...we'll probably stay home, open gifts, make a fabulous meal (DH is a fantastic cook) and pig out in front of the tree watching the lights.

Hope everyone will have a wonderful holiday!

 

[LisaZee]

Hi all!

Just dropping in to introduce myself. DH and I have been married for just over 6 years and are child-free. We do have our baby, Zoe, and she is all we need right now.

We have always maintained that kids are not for us - we just don't have the desire to have them. And I firmly believe that kids should be wanted. DH and I just don't feel like our lives are incomplete without a baby. The funny thing is, the older I get (I'm 34 now) and the more decision is getting taken out of my hands due to age, the more I am thinking about kids. I have always said that my biological clock was digital, but now I hear some ticking. Scares the hell out of me, let me tell ya! I don't want any, but to not be able to have them is a completely different story. Does that make sense?

Anywho, the spouse, the kitty and I spend Xmas eve with his family, and Xmas day with mine. We all spoil each other - even Zoe has gifts from my brother and parents - her uncle and grandmama and grandpapa. My mom says she's cheaper than grandkids!

I'm looking forward to discussions with like-minded people that won't judge me for my choices in life - and not automatically assume I'm a selfish, childish, cold, career-obsessed, daughter of a mother who never loved her! Hopefully we can support each other in a way that not too many others understant - happy holidays!

 

[goofygirl]

Nice to meet you LisaZee! Do you have any pics of Zoe?