Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[Hixski]

OMG, what a dumb reason to have a kid! First of all there's Photoshop and such where you can graphically "see" what a kid of yours would look like. You don't need to actually procreate to see your features and your partner's features melded together! Second of all, what an egotistical reason to have a child. It's like when that Austin Powers villian character had Mini Me!

It's nice you found partners that don't want children. I admit to being a little jealous. Finding a decent person that is childfree has been like looking for a needle in a haystack!

Too bad you are in PA. We have a single, never married, childfree friend. We have known him for 25 yrs. Owns his own home, has a good managerial job, lots of fun. Nothing wrong with him, not a mommas boy or anything. He just never found that special someone. We are going to Vegas with him and a few more friends for his 50th birthday this month. (Ok, it was in September, we are just slow) They are out there, just spread out all over the country I guess.

 

[calypso726]

Hi, count me and DH as another CF couple by choice, thanks to one of the dogs I have never had the maternal instinct. I like kids, I'm an ex-teacher but babies make me uncomfortable We were on the fence when we were first married 10 years ago. DH wanted kids and I didn't care if we did or didn't have any. After spending time with friends that have kids I became increasingly aware that this might not be such a good idea and could possibly be hazzardous to our marriage and my sanity DH still thought we should have kids despite my pointing out the disadvantages

Fortunately, he was singing a different tune before it was too late. I went away out of town for a dog show circuit and DH was left home with the dogs that weren't going to the show. Lo and behold when I get back he casually mentions that it is a good thing we are not having kids Stunned, I asked him what changed his mind and he said that taking care of the dogs while I was gone did it. Apparently, one of the girls wouldn't go potty as fast as he needed her to in the morning and that threw off his whole schedule and made him late for work He said that if one of the dogs could get him so frustrated over something so trivial then we had no business having kids and besides he likes uninterrupted sleep

 

[blue_eyes5212]

Do I feel guilty about not working? No. But I was VERY confused at the beginning about my "identity" if you know what I mean. I guess I seemed to always define myself by my job. I've always been a work-a-holic, so this feeling of staying home was sooooo foreign to me. But I can say, I think I've adjusted nicely.


And goofygirl, what do I DO all day? Well, when I was new at "this" stay at home job, I had to ask others the same question. I don't watch tv much at all really. I try to catch the noon news, then I will watch Who Wants to Be A Millionaire after that. I keep the house, make meals, taken on any chores DH used to do on weekends, grocery shop & errands, handle all finances, calls, mail. I've cleaned out the house of junk. Redecorated 3 rooms. Planted a flower garden. (OK, DH helped with the rooms & the garden on weekends.)

But basically, I've tried to do everything I can, so he won't have to do anything on weekends. DH works a 4 day week. He has Sat, Sun, Mon off. I try to limit my work to the days he works. No, I'm not busy all day.

I picked up a tiny part time job doing demos in stores -- handing out samples. I work MAYBE 4-7 days a MONTH. Gets me out of the house. I like it. No office politics. No bosses because I don't work for the store. Pick what jobs when I want & where I want, IF I want to work. Pays $14/hr. Not doing it for the $ though.

I worked VERY hard since high school. Held multiple part time jobs while commuting to college full time. We've always had stressful jobs. And I REALLY didn't know how to relax. We were at a point financially, that my income was really only being used for paying mortgage down REALLY fast. Well, since the mortgage is almost gone & DH's salary covers mtg, savings, retirement & living nicely, we can have me stay home with no problems.

Now quitting wasn't planned.....but it sure was NICE to just walk out & not worry about it. (I had been there 12 yrs, and boss kept saying "if you don't like it, there's the door". bye bye )

I grew up thinking I would be married & work & be successfull. "Women can have it all" generation. OK, no one told me I would go crazy trying to do it. I learned I just can't handle ALL that. That was part of the decision not to have children also. I just get overwhelmed very easy. This is the most relaxed & calmest I have ever been in my life.

I'm jealous! I get tired of going to work everyday!! Sick of the office politics too! But if I didn't go to work there would be no more Disney for us!! (And we can't have that now can we?? )

 

[blue_eyes5212]

Me and DH are childless by choice so far!! We plan to have them someday, but haven't made that choice yet! One of these days though! People can be so nosy though, asking personal questions about your reproduction choices!! Makes me so mad!! Those kinds of questions can be very hurtful!!

 

[goofygirl]

*bump* I've missed this thread!!

 

[goofygirl]

Too bad you are in PA. We have a single, never married, childfree friend. We have known him for 25 yrs. Owns his own home, has a good managerial job, lots of fun. Nothing wrong with him, not a mommas boy or anything. He just never found that special someone. We are going to Vegas with him and a few more friends for his 50th birthday this month. (Ok, it was in September, we are just slow) They are out there, just spread out all over the country I guess.

Would he like a long distance friend? I'm up for that! Hey, you never know where it can lead!

 

[Fitswimmer]

I've missed this thread too! I was out shopping Friday and picked myself up a PS3. So, get this...this woman comes up to me and says "Oh, your kids are going to be so happy! You'll get the Best Mommy award!" So I said, "I don't have any kids, this is for ME. The reason I can afford this thing is because I DON'T have kids" I was laughing, making light of it, but she looked at me like I was from MARS.

 

[goofygirl]

Has anyone here read "Baby Proof" by Emily Giffin? It's a novel about a CF woman who spilts with her DH who wants a baby.

 

[plgrn]

I've missed this thread too! I was out shopping Friday and picked myself up a PS3. So, get this...this woman comes up to me and says "Oh, your kids are going to be so happy! You'll get the Best Mommy award!" So I said, "I don't have any kids, this is for ME. The reason I can afford this thing is because I DON'T have kids" I was laughing, making light of it, but she looked at me like I was from MARS.

You tell 'em! I was buying a Tinkerbell purse at Wal-mart a few months ago and the cashier said "Awwww. That's going to make some little girl very happy." I said "yep...me!"

 

[plgrn]

Has anyone here read "Baby Proof" by Emily Giffin? It's a novel about a CF woman who spilts with her DH who wants a baby.

No, but I'ver heard of it. Have you read it?

 

[goofygirl]

I am in the middle of reading it now. The main character is a CF woman married to an originally CF man, he then changes his mind and wants a baby. They divorce. She surrounded by women relatives and friends who all want babies and they don't really understand her.

She is constantly missing her exDH even though she resents him wanting a baby from her. Her constant pining for him is getting on my nerves!

I don't want to give too much away.

 

[Poppinsme]

Ladies and Gentlemen 32 years now we have been DINKS/THINKERS. And never been happier!!!!!! As the years go by it just gets better and better.
No regrets/no rugrats.

 

[goofygirl]

Time 2 bump!

 

[luvwinnie]

Hi, All! I wanted to bump this thread and I could't find it! We are off to Hilton Head and Savannah on Friday to RELAX. Just us and our furbaby.

 

[luvwinnie]

I am in the middle of reading it now. The main character is a CF woman married to an originally CF man, he then changes his mind and wants a baby. They divorce. She surrounded by women relatives and friends who all want babies and they don't really understand her.

She is constantly missing her exDH even though she resents him wanting a baby from her. Her constant pining for him is getting on my nerves!

I don't want to give too much away.

I was so angry at her dh! How do you walk away from someone you LOVE so much to MAYBE meet someone else who YOU MIGHT LOVE/might not to MAYBE have a kid with?

 

[PatriciaH]

We went to the west coast of FL this past weekend to vist some friends. It was georgous out-sunny and about 82. We went kayaking and then took a long bike ride to their town. We met these friends a few month ago and they are child-free too it is great. We have so many child-free friends in Florida I am thankful. I know it can be hard to meet people who share the same views on having no children!

 

[JuliaEeyore]

Hi, All! I wanted to bump this thread and I could't find it! We are off to Hilton Head and Savannah on Friday to RELAX. Just us and our furbaby.

Ooooh! You guys are going to have such a nice time! I just took off a couple days in June to go to Block Island to just RELAX... but Grover can't come with us. I think we need to get ourselves a camper!

"Baby Proof" sounds interesting... I'll have to pick it up. Though, I can envision myself getting really annoyed reading it and chucking it across the room.

I'm still here lurking.

 

[goofygirl]

luvwinnie- where are you staying in Savannah?

I was in Savannah last fall and I loved it! It's such an easy city to get around. What are your plans?


PS- if anyone here wants to ever find this thread just search "child-free" . Don't forget the hyphen.

 

[luvwinnie]

Ooooh! You guys are going to have such a nice time! I just took off a couple days in June to go to Block Island to just RELAX... but Grover can't come with us. I think we need to get ourselves a camper!

"Baby Proof" sounds interesting... I'll have to pick it up. Though, I can envision myself getting really annoyed reading it and chucking it across the room.

I'm still here lurking.

Yes, he definitely needs a camper!

 

[luvwinnie]

luvwinnie- where are you staying in Savannah?

I was in Savannah last fall and I loved it! It's such an easy city to get around. What are your plans?


PS- if anyone here wants to ever find this thread just search "child-free" . Don't forget the hyphen.

We are actually staying at an RV Resort on the water in Hilton Head and taking day trips into Savannah. I know for sure we are taking a private carriage tour (they allow Winnie, our bulldog).