Can you all stand another vent.........

[N&B'smom]

I am with the OP-the leader was mean and petty. She wasn't late-she was on time. There is a history between them and apparently the leader saw an opportunity to be the lesser person. It never fails to amaze me how mean women can be to each other.

I agree 100% . I think the leader used this as an opportunity to be cruel to the girl and her mom.

If the leader wanted to be on the road by 6:15 exactly than she should have told everyone to please arrive 15 minutes early.

Shelby

 

[BettyCv]

I agree 100% . I think the leader used this as an opportunity to be cruel to the girl and her mom.

If the leader wanted to be on the road by 6:15 exactly than she should have told everyone to please arrive 15 minutes early.

Shelby

The leader sent out a note saying they were leaving at 6:15 sharp and not to be late. If I got a note like that, you can be sure that I'd get there more than a few minutes ahead of time.

 

[BettyCv]

I don't find me waiting incredibly rude at all. It is all about the girls. The parents don't have to wait around for us to actually leave. You never know if watches are off, maybe someone had to stop and get gas, forgot something at the house.... If they haven't shown up within 10 minutes of the agreed upon time I start calling to make sure they are still coming.

Okay, I can see your point that the parents do not have to wait around, and I'm sure the girls probably don't really mind waiting. I didn't think about that.

I still think it is the responsibility of the LATE party to call YOU and let you know. It shouldn't be your responsibility to hunt them down.

 

[BettyCv]

I find this disturbing and a shame that not one person; leader or girl scout said "we need to wait for (your DD)".........

And how do you know this is the case?

 

[SydneyBristow]

We had nothing but bad experiences with Girl Scouts, 2 different troops and states and both times it was a disorganized mess. We've given up on scouting.

 

[momrek06]

OP, I am curious, did you sign a permission slip for this overnight? Was it expected that your DD was attending the overnight? Did you pay a fee (if any) for your DD to attend the overnight? Was there the usual Girl Scout meeting earlier in the week confirming DD's attendance at the overnight?

If you answered YES to any or all of these questions; then I fully believe these Leaders were totally out of line in leaving.

And if you arrived at 6:12pm and they were planning on leaving at 6:15pm...going on a limb here, is there a chance all the scouts (except your DD) was called to arrive EARLIER than the 6:15pm arrival time? I cannot imagine a scout troop with a departure time of 6:15pm had everything packed up in driver's cars to head out BEFORE 6:12pm hence my thinking they left way before the 6:15pm scheduled time!

 

[Mickeyluver37]

We had nothing but bad experiences with Girl Scouts, 2 different troops and states and both times it was a disorganized mess. We've given up on scouting.

You could always take it on yourself......

 

[momrek06]

And how do you know this is the case?

I do not know this is the case but having children and having them attend many events school or scouts or church-related....if the group is leaving and there is someone missing, you can almost bet for sure, someone (adult or child) will say..."Hey, wait, Johnny has not arrived yet".........

 

[sha_lyn]

OP....did your DD miss school while she was sick?
I can really understand the leaders POV if she was told your DD had been out of school sick
Yes I also feel you cut your time too close. The note said they were leaving at 6:15, it did not say for the girls to arrive at 6:15. I usually takes a good 10-15 min for bathroom break, gathering up permission slips (and $$ if not already collected) loading up the cars etc.
You also said you had to go home to call the contact numbers.
Did you not have a phone with you, or did you not have the contact numbers with you?

Yes If I had been the leader I would have tried to call you before taking off, but IMHO the leader is not the only one at fault here.

As for the OP's phone call not being returned..... Many seem to think the call hasn't been returned out of "spite". Did anyone consider that the leader/chaperones are with the girls right now on the overnight fieldtrip?
Do we know they even have cell phone reception where they are?
Our troop went on a day trip yesterday about 1 1/2 hrs away. The weather caused the trip to be a bit over 2 hrs each way. We ended up gong 2 different ways (2 went through Atlanta, I took the 285 loop per the instructions we had discussed earlier). 1 car didn't have a cell phone in it. That mom doesn't have one and we all assumed that the one cadette that has one brought hers. However she forgot it. Anyway the other leader and I msut have played phone tag for 30 min because of poor reception. Funny thing is when I finally got her on the phone I was right behind her but couldn't tell because of the fog. Also there was no reception at the camp we were at.
I also know from a previous trip, that I have a really had time hearing my phone with a car full of scouts. I have to pull it out of my purse and clip it close by.

 

[maxiesmom]

Since when does 2 minutes early equal late? If the leader's watch was indeed 7 minutes off, then it's still the leader's fault for not keeping the correct time.

I'm sure not everyone's watch shows the exact same time. Maybe the Op's watch was off? Who knows?

Think of it like you would a ME pick up time. They want to be leaving at that time, and you are to show up 15 minutes early, to load and what not. You should not be arriving at the time you are to leave.

The troop said they were leaving at a specific time, and the by the wording the OP new they would be leaving at exactly that time. Assuming everyone's watches were not exactly the same, arriving by your watch 2 minutes prior to departure is not good.

 

[BettyCv]

I do not know this is the case but having children and having them attend many events school or scouts or church-related....if the group is leaving and there is someone missing, you can almost bet for sure, someone (adult or child) will say..."Hey, wait, Johnny has not arrived yet".........

Okay, but I'm still not sure I understand what your point is. Maybe someone DID say "so-and-so is not here yet." And maybe the leader said "well, they knew from my note that we were leaving at 6:15 SHARP and they haven't called to say they're running late, so apparently they changed their mind about coming."

 

[N&B'smom]

The leader sent out a note saying they were leaving at 6:15 sharp and not to be late. If I got a note like that, you can be sure that I'd get there more than a few minutes ahead of time.

If they were leaving at 6:15 sharp than they should have still been there at 6:12.

Shelby

 

[OceanAnnie]

If they were leaving at 6:15 sharp than they should have still been there at 6:12.

Shelby

Yeah. That's just strange. They sure got out of dodge quick! Didn't even wait until 6:15, the assigned time? That is strange.

 

[momrek06]

Okay, but I'm still not sure I understand what your point is. Maybe someone DID say "so-and-so is not here yet." And maybe the leader said "well, they knew from my note that we were leaving at 6:15 SHARP and they haven't called to say they're running late, so apparently they changed their mind about coming."

So basically what you are saying is this; if someone is not RIGHT THERE at the exact minute that the Troop is pulling out of the parking lot than TOO BAD...OUT OF LUCK!!!

Having been a parent of 100's of scout field trips and 100's of music related h.s. field trips...there can always be circumstances such as traffic, car breaking down, going back for something the DD forgot or just heck simply running late....but to ASSUME that because the OP's DD was not there at the EXACT minute they are leaving that the Leaders just ASSUME she is not attending.... I feel it is the Leaders mistake because of the simple reason the Leaders DID NOT receive a call that OP's DD was NOT attending...to just assume she wasn't attending; I feel is wrong. JMHO.

Remember we are talking MINUTES here...

 

[weregoingtodw]

You're very nice.

I really do understand that not everyone is comfortable with it though. I'm sad for my DD but we move on and look for other things to do.

I sent you a PM. I'm a GS Leader & may be able to help.

 

[bfeller]

You know I have been reading this thread and of course I put in my 2 cents but I don't understand what all the nitpicking is about. They were to leave at 6:15. She arrived at 6:12. That is not late.

AND...if their watches/clocks were a little different we are talking minutes and we are also talking about adults who have had to have some training in Girl Scouting. As a reasonable adult I don't think that it is asking too much for the leader or other adults to look around (she said that troop had only 5 girls) and see that someone is missing and that a call should be made to check on the child.

ANd...if there was no reception for a cell phone then that should have been a really big alarm of what they should do. ANd....that was wait for at least 10 minutes to see if the child arrived because if they didn't have reception then neither would the parent who was bring the child.

As I mentioned earlier, I have had this experience with a leader in GS and she was also like this in the PTA. She didn't stay a leader long but believe me there are people out there who are not nice. I think we would all like to believe that the clique behavior stops after high school but it doesn't. In my case I fought the leader. I was the new parent in town and yes, I rocked the boat. But guess what, there were others who started rocking it when they saw that someone else was going to stand up to the bully.

As for my daughter, she was in the third grade and desparately wanted to stay in the troop. So I let her but I was there all the time making sure that she and the other "outside" girls were treated right. We moved 1 year later and found another GS troop that was great. By the way, my GS experience was through 3 states with my child and this was the only time that I had a bad experience.


So OP, if this is a battle that you want to take on, then stand up for your child and call the council. Of course be assured that the leader may call you and try to defend herself or pick a fight. AND....think of what example you want your daughter to see.....the leader, a bully, who is unfair and mean or you, the mother, who will stand up for what is right even if it is a little uncomfortable for a while.

Now I am getting off my soap box.......thank you for listening.

 

[weregoingtodw]

I read through the entire thread and since I don't know the entire situation from both perspectives, I'll stay out of the issues at hand.

However, I did want to ask re: the conjunctivitis. If I'm not mistaken, conjunctivitis is pinkeye and is highly contagious. When during the week was your daughter out sick? Has she been back to school since? If not, did you touch base with the troop to assure them that she was still going on the trip? As a parent, it's easy to assume that the troop leaders will check with you if they have questions about your child. As a troop leader, however, I can tell you that it's a true feat to keep up with everything. As others have mentioned in this thread, troop leaders are (often unappreciated) volunteers. I am extremely fortunate to have a wonderfully involved, caring group of parents involved with our troop this year. That's not always the case, though, so I would give the leaders the benefit of doubt if possible.

Now, having said all that, if you truly believe that the leaders deliberately left your daughter, chalk it up as a lesson learned and be thankful that you did not leave your precious child in the hands of irresponsible adults. If they really would do such a thing as deliberately leaving your daughter, would you really want her under their supervision? I certainly wouldn't.

I'm very sorry that your daughter was disappointed. The children should be what it's about anyway.

 

[budbeerlady]

Isn't that incredibly rude to the people who DID show up on time?

I cannot see not waiting 5 min. Where we live it is not uncommon to be stuck behind a tractor and end up late by a few moments no matter how early you left. Even the best intentions and leaving early can make you late. Life happens and I am so sorry for the OPs daughter. I would be upset and I hope you get a satisfactory resolution for what happened. I know my DD would be devestated if that happened to her!

I hope your DD is feeling better. DD hates getting pink eye and gets it about 2x a year. I know they are NOT contagious after getting the eye drops started, so DD usually has to just wait out the one day. But she has been upset over missing school things over it, a trip would be even worse.

 

[momrek06]

Isn't that incredibly rude to the people who DID show up on time?

No, kids are not upset when someone is 5 minutes late or even 10 minutes late....come on, you make it sound like everyone else in this Troop (be it Leader or Girl Scout) was never ever late or never will be late....

The girls were probably all excited about heading out on this adventure that they were all laughing and giggling and excited about being away from Mom and Dad for the night and just being with their friends....I am so sure not one girl was standing there tapping their watch and all disgusted because one girl scout had not arrived yet for the overnight.

Remember we are talking about minutes........

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Is it possible that the leader was told that your dd was out of school sick and when everyone was there except your dd she assumed she wasn't coming because of it? That would explain why they had already left?