Can you all stand another vent.........

[ilisao]

I always arrive 15 - 30 minutes early to an event just in case there is a problem.

You bear some of the blame for her missing out on the event.

I agree with this. The OP said she didn't want to be early because she didn't like the leaders. As the adult in this situation, it was her responsibility to rise above that and make sure her daughter was there on time. And that generally means be there a bit early.

Should the troop have waited a few minutes? Probably. But they aren't entirely to blame.

 

[clh2]

Sorry OP if I confused you with someone else.

I wonder who that was then. They were going somewhere and somehow the daughter got excluded and the mom called the GS offices or something and they called back and talked with the daughter and apologized and then the second in charge leader mom called too saying that everyone was afraid to stand up to the leader. Does this ring a bell to anyone? Who was that?

Yep, I remember that story. Couldn't for the life of me remember who that was though.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Try to remember that the leaders are all volunteers. They are leading out of the goodness of their hearts. And, you may have cut it too close and everyone already left. That's almost happened to me with boy scouts.

 

[KariC]

Sorry OP if I confused you with someone else.

I wonder who that was then. They were going somewhere and somehow the daughter got excluded and the mom called the GS offices or something and they called back and talked with the daughter and apologized and then the second in charge leader mom called too saying that everyone was afraid to stand up to the leader. Does this ring a bell to anyone? Who was that?

I remember! But, I can't remember who it was either.....

 

[bfeller]

When my daughter was younger I also experienced a bad leader and ended up going to counsel about her so I know your pain.

I have been a leader for GS also and if I knew that someone was suppose to go on a trip and for some reason they were not there at the time that was told to be there I think that the common sense thing to do is to make a phone call to the parent and check on that child. There could have been a very good reason why a person was not there on time. There are a lot of reasons why someone could be late. I don't think I need to give examples. Anyway, I don't think that there is an excuse for any leader to leave a child without trying to communicate with them. We live in an age of cell phones afterall. The adult leader is not responsible and she certainly is not a good example of a leader. I mean what was a 5 minute wait if you knew that the child was so close(of course you wouldn't know unless you tried to call or if you or whoever the emergency contact person would answer their phone)....it wasn't like they were catching a plane that has a schedule. They were going to a YMCA.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

My DD cried every week last year because her friends were going to GS and she couldn't. GS didn't allow her to join because of her heart condition, none of the leaders wanted to take on the responsibility. I was told there wasn't enough girls to start another troop, I offered.

So the GS aren't on my favorite list. But I understand its a volunteer organization and not everyone is willing to accomodate.

I'm sorry your DD is having a rough time.

That's terrible! I don't know what heart condition your daughter has, but as a leader, I would not have thought that would be a legitimate reason to deny membership to a girl. All my training has stressed diversity and accomodation. Not only for the girl who may have a health condition or disability, but for the others, who learn to be compassionate and accomodate others.

If I were you, I'd check with Council about that. If you are able to attend outings or events where her heart condition might be an issue, IMO there is no reason why she shouldn't be able to participate. Or could you become a co-leader of the troop, joining with her and relieving the leader of any "responsibility" for her health? I wish you were in my area, I'd be glad to have your dd in my troop.

And to the OP and your dd, too. I always allow a little extra time to make sure everyone has arrived before leaving on field trip. If someone who said she was going isn't there, I call her to see if she's still coming. I guess I'm lucky in that our girls are almost always on time, and I can see getting strict with someone who is habitually late, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.

I'm sorry this happened to both of your daughters.

 

[Chim Chiminy]

Sorry OP if I confused you with someone else.

I wonder who that was then. They were going somewhere and somehow the daughter got excluded and the mom called the GS offices or something and they called back and talked with the daughter and apologized and then the second in charge leader mom called too saying that everyone was afraid to stand up to the leader. Does this ring a bell to anyone? Who was that?

I remember that situation, but not who the poster was.

Sorry OP. I agree that you cut it too close with the time...........but will say that as a troop leader, I put a time on the forms, but always wait an extra 5-10 minutes for stragglers.
And I also keep my cell phone ON and answer it if someone calls.
I feel for your daughter.
Are there other troops in the area? Perhaps if she is unhappy with the troop she is in, or you are unhappy with the leadership, you could ask council to place her with another troop.

 

[trip]

I'm sorry your DD is so unhappy tonight.

I don't want to "pile on" but I'm afraid you are partly to blame. Years ago I was a GS leader for 4 years with 15 scouts in the troop. We would state a departure time and would stick to it. We expected the girls to gather at least 15 minutes before hand - time to gather permission slips/ give out car assignments.

I can see the troop wanting to leave on time, especially if they had an hour drive ahead of them.

I hope everything works out with the troop. Perhaps you could volunteer to help with the troop. I know I always appreciated extra help.

Again, I'm sorry your DD is hurting.

 

[gate_pourri]

Sorry OP if I confused you with someone else.

I wonder who that was then. They were going somewhere and somehow the daughter got excluded and the mom called the GS offices or something and they called back and talked with the daughter and apologized and then the second in charge leader mom called too saying that everyone was afraid to stand up to the leader. Does this ring a bell to anyone? Who was that?

I recall reading that, but I have no idea who it was...

As for the op, I can sort of see how, if every other girl was there and your daughter, being ill earlier in the week wasn't, they assumed that she wasn’t coming. I would hope they would have waited a bit longer and/or tried to call you to check in. I know I would!

I hope that your daughter isn't too upset with this situation. Perhaps the two of you can do something 'girly' tomorrow to make up for it.

 

[horseshowmom]

I'm sorry your DD is so unhappy tonight.

I don't want to "pile on" but I'm afraid you are partly to blame. Years ago I was a GS leader for 4 years with 15 scouts in the troop. We would state a departure time and would stick to it. We expected the girls to gather at least 15 minutes before hand - time to gather permission slips/ give out car assignments.

I can see the troop wanting to leave on time, especially if they had an hour drive ahead of them.

I hope everything works out with the troop. Perhaps you could volunteer to help with the troop. I know I always appreciated extra help.

Again, I'm sorry your DD is hurting.

I agree with this post. I also agree with the other poster who said that they arrive 10-15 minutes ahead of schedule to allow for differences in watches.

I hope your DD feels better soon.

 

[charabby]

I am shocked that they would leave without her. I can't believe they wouldn't give a call to any of the girls who were not there to make sure they weren't lost, waiting at the wrong spot, etc. B/c in girl scouts, they would have had to fill out a permission slip with emergency contact info and probably pay at least a small fee. so I would be concerned if they didn't show up then (as a leader).

It might just be our troop, but they really emphasize showing concern for others and that would include checking on someone if they weren't where you expected to make sure everything is OK.

And I think the pile on to the OP is uncalled for. The departure time was 6:15 - unless they were instructed to be there early, that doesn't mean it's wrong not to arrive early. Actually, as an organizer of an event, you should allow some cushion for others clocks to be a little off from yours. These GS leader just up and broke a little girls' heart over what couldn't be more than five minutes. It's not like the OP said that they arrrived at 6:32 or soemthing and had expected them to wait. And now they are not calling the mom back? What mean women.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I am shocked that they would leave without her. I can't believe they wouldn't give a call to any of the girls who were not there to make sure they weren't lost, waiting at the wrong spot, etc. B/c in girl scouts, they would have had to fill out a permission slip with emergency contact info and probably pay at least a small fee. so I would be concerned if they didn't show up then (as a leader).

It might just be our troop, but they really emphasize showing concern for others and that would include checking on someone if they weren't where you expected to make sure everything is OK.

And I think the pile on to the OP is uncalled for. The departure time was 6:15 - unless they were instructed to be there early, that doesn't mean it's wrong not to arrive early. Actually, as an organizer of an event, you should allow some cushion for others clocks to be a little off from yours. These GS leader just up and broke a little girls' heart over what couldn't be more than five minutes. It's not like the OP said that they arrrived at 6:32 or soemthing and had expected them to wait. And now they are not calling the mom back? What mean women.

I don't understand the circumstances being what they are either. It looks like a few things went awry and not on the part of the OP.

 

[Iott Family]

Anyway, I don't think that there is an excuse for any leader to leave a child without trying to communicate with them. We live in an age of cell phones afterall. .

I could not have said it better! I am the asst. leader for my DD's troop and if we know a girl is going, she has paid, turned in her permission slip, or parent signed her up on the sheet we always call if at departure time they havent arrived and we always set departure time about 15-20 minutes before we truly need to leave just to have some "shimmy" room. This is where the leader dropped the ball but OP seems to be taking a passive/aggressive approach by arriving so close to the mark and passing total blame off on troop. Why not call before you leave home to let them know you are coming and might be pushing it on time? They wouldnt leave knowing you are on your way!

 

[luvmy3]

As a GS leader myself I don't understand how they could leave without your dd. Even if you were cutting it close time wise the leader should have waited a few extra minutes since she knew you would be coming. I would never leave if there were still girls not there. I would call their mothers to make sure they were still planning on showing up. As the leader on an overnight trip I would have the numbers on me so there would be no excuse not to. That is just unacceptable, I'm so sorry for your dd.

 

[pyrxtc]

I think this would ahve been her last year anyways. It is to the point that the troop is down to only 5 girls and I don't even drop my DD off to the meetings, she rides in wiht her best friend or my DH does it cuz I can't stand to be around these women but my DD likes to do this with her friends. My feelings are not going to get in the way of something my DD likes to do.

But tonight is another reason to not continue. She enjoys the outings and meetings but didn't sell cookies or was even asked to participate in the cookie booth sales event at all.

Oh, and still no call after 4 hrs. I hope the phone is on now for emergency calls!.....

 

[pyrxtc]

Oh, and I wouldn't be so sure that they wouldn't leave knowing I'm on my way. This is the same women that left me waiting at the end point of the NY weekend for 45 minutes while they all stopped to eat at McDonalds. No phone call and no answering the phone then either.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, OP, you have done NOTHING wrong.
(well, except for leaving an engry and negative message... This kind of thing should be handled in person, in a mature way.)

Sure you cut it close, but this was a social event, NOT an important business meeting... And, we are dealing with families and children here!!! I really do NOT get those who are pinning any blame at all on you. Not at all.

They said "we leave at 6:15", then they should not have pulled out of that parking lot before 6:15.

No way would I send my chlid on an overnight trip to be under the supervision of women who 1.) would not take the time to know which children were coming and to see that they were accounted for. and especially 2.) Would take off with children on an overnight trip and NOT have their cell phones on and ready. And, last. 3.) Who show such a blatant disregard for my child.

It truly does sound to me that these woman are selfish, uncommunicative, rude, and negligent.

I am sorry for your daughter!!!!

 

[agnes!]

As a former GS Troop Leader, Camp First Aider, volunteer for many years...
Let me be blunt. IMO? The Troop Leader left without your DD *because* it was your DD. Am I suspicious about what actually happened? *Yes*. I almost have to wonder what time they actually left, what time everyone else got there... Unfortunately, there are petty, vindictive people who run troops, it's not all sweetness and light. I ran into some...well, let's just say some "interesting" folks at all levels in my years of Scouting.
Did the OP cut it close? *Maybe*.
Was she late? *No*.
Does the TL have a cell? Yes.
Is she answering the OP's calls? No.
Would she answer a call from another phone? Probably...

agnes!

 

[themarquis]

The OP wasn't late. She was told 6:15 (I think it was 6:15), and she was there early. I don't understand why so many people are implying that it was the OP's fault. She wasn't a lot early, but she certainly was not late. If they wanted to leave before 6:15, they should have said so.

When I am told I need to be somewhere at x o'clock "sharp", then I am there at that time. If I happen to be early, that's just a nice bonus. It's certainly not required. If it were required, they would have simply wrote the time earlier, KWIM?

If they needed some "wiggle room" to collect permission forms, get the girls ready, etc, then it is their job to set the time so that they get that "wiggle room". It is not the job of the parent to read minds to figure out exactly how early they are "supposed" to be.

 

[allison443]

I am so sorry this happened to your daughter!

I have been a GS leader for (too many!) years...we would always have the girls meet at least 15-20 minutes before we actually have to leave. Just to allow for late arrivals. Also, if we knew that a girl was supposed to be coming, we would definitely make a phone call if she wasn't there at the meeting time. OP, did the leaders definitely know your daughter was coming? Did you pay the fee, or send in a permission slip?
I would hate to think that a GS leader would act like this towards a child in their troop

I hope your daughter feels better It sounds like you two can spend some time together tomorrow which is great.