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Stacie -- I do identify with you -- I'm you with a 10 yr.old ds, trust me! I've told my dh I get so frustrated because every three months or so I initiate this talk about how I'm going to finally get it together and lose the weight. I lose a little, and then I sabotage myself. I've often said if I could figure out why I'm afraid to lose the weight, I could do it. For me, it really is mental. I need the Biggest Loser camp at my house -- if I stopped allowing foods upstairs (we also have a kitchen in our basement, so we could theoretically keep ds's goodies down there), and really exercised nearly every day, I could do it. Here is my gentle advice (I am not a doctor and do not play one on tv), I think you need to see a physician. You need to get answers to your medical questions, because *thinking* you have X when it could be Y is not helping -- you also need to find out if you do have X or Y, so you can begin the treatment that will make you feel better.
Work is tough. I often feel like it's not worth getting out of bed in the morning. But try to remember what you loved, and get back to the joy of those aspects. And it may be that it's time for you to grow into a new position -- but right now I think the physical things you have going on are affecting your world view. I know that when I think about how much I weigh and how old I'm going to be in a few days, I want to cry. Oops, a tear leaked out. This makes everything in my life less happy. All we can do is pick ourselves up where we are, make a plan for a better future, and do our best to carry it out. Along the way we may find different goals and things that make us happy.
Venting is good. So is taking a deep breath and a little time for yourself. Take a sick day, tell dh you are taking a Saturday or Sunday just for you (yes, you can miss church once, unless it helps you to go at this time), and spend time with yourself, thinking, writing, walking, whatever will help you feel centered.
I suspect like me, the root of the weight loss issue is about you mentally rather than physically. I had a system that was working, and I just stopped when it got hard. If I answer why, I think the weight would fall off...
You can do this, and you can vent to us anytime. We all have the ups and downs, ok, some of us have more ups than downs...but I digress. It's ok to have an out of sorts day. I think it's good if we stop and have to pull it altogether every once in awhile. It makes me take stock of my priorities and decide what's important, and think about what I want the most.
I'm so glad you posted what you did today. It's a good wake-up call for me, too. I know if we try to make small changes every day, we will get there. I'm right beside you, and we can all pull each other up on that wagon!
Ok, longer post (is that possible!) with chat later. Right now everybody take a moment and think of one thing they can do today, right now, to be healthier -- and then do it! I brought way too many packaged snacks to work today. Right now, I'm committing to eat within my points range for the day.
Sending
and
to all the Lean Meaners who might be having a difficult day...
Maria
There are now alot more low sugar alternatives now though, but it takes some getting used to the extra time shopping! I know exactly what you are going through, but it does get easier! 
I wish I could afford ToT this year, but I'll have to stick with the Disneyland Half with my family in Sept -- It's one of those "we've waited a lifetime to do this" trips for us, even though it will be only one long weekend. When I do see you though, we'll have a blast, I'm sure! 
so I guess my money was well spent!!
). 
Have a good day!
) than ahead. 
