Bathroom Question!! (bringing kids in)

[lynzi2004]

DH and I have always shared bathroom duties. Our DD4 and DS3 have gone with either one of us at any given time. The only times DH has refused to take DD is when he knows a men's room is going to NASTY! This has always been his biggest pet peeve with taking her somewhere. I would do what ever you feel most comfortable with. And if taking her in a family restroom/companion restroom would make you feel better than by all means you are free to use it. If there just happens to be a line to get in or someone has to wait a minute...that's life!

 

[SaintsManiac]

I love a good, healthy bathroom debate.

 

[ton80]

Yup, and sometimes the debate stinks!

 

[mjkacmom]

I am a single dad and this is the issue I am worrying about when we go to WDW in June. My daughter is 7 and will absolutely not go into the mens bathroom. I feel okay letting her go into the womens bathroom on her own with me waiting right outside. the problem I am having is when I need to use the restroom, what do I do with my daughter. Shes way too young to leave alone outside of the restroom

A 7 year old is capable of waiting a few minutes outside a restroom.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ok...last comment. The stall was being used by the Dad and DD. See post above. Have a good one.

So, there was only one stall?

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

A 7 year old is capable of waiting a few minutes outside a restroom.

Maybe some are, Maybe some aren't. You don't get to say. The parent does.

 

[Magpie]

I am a single dad and this is the issue I am worrying about when we go to WDW in June. My daughter is 7 and will absolutely not go into the mens bathroom. I feel okay letting her go into the womens bathroom on her own with me waiting right outside. the problem I am having is when I need to use the restroom, what do I do with my daughter. Shes way too young to leave alone outside of the restroom

She's only "way too young" if she's the kind of child who cannot be relied on to wait for you. Many, many seven year old girls would be perfectly capable of waiting outside a restroom for you. (Most even have places she can sit.)

As her father, however, you know her capabilities best. If she cannot be left unsupervised for the length of time it will take you to use the bathroom, then the two of you should use the companion restrooms, together.

 

[P'colaBeachBum]

It may be how he was raised, but it's not how everyone was raised. That makes it a "personal issue".

The way your husband was raised made him feel uncomfortable at the idea of using a public washroom with a little girl and her father present in the same facility. However, this is not a universal discomfort, nor is it an issue of courtesy (as clearly, neither the father nor the little girl would have been made uncomfortable by your husband's presence).

Your husband's upbringing was not superior, just different from that of the other man's. If this means he waits a moment for the bathroom to clear, that's his choice.

Ok...I really need to turn computer off. NO WHERE did I say his upbringing was superior to anyone else. His choice to remain outside was a personal choice, not issue, just like the Dad that took his DD in the bathroom...no different. He didn't judge the Dad for doing so.

 

[JerseyGuy24]

A 7 year old is capable of waiting a few minutes outside a restroom.

maybe that's the way you feel. Being a single dad I am probably more protective over my daughter than most other fathers and I do not feel comfortable leaving her by herself in an extremely crowded place that she is not familiar with

 

[Magpie]

Ok...I really need to turn computer off. NO WHERE did I say his upbringing was superior to anyone else. His choice to remain outside, was a personal choice, not issue, just like the Dad that took his DD in the bathroom...no different. He didn't judge the Dad for doing so.

Okay... so perhaps I misunderstood, then? I got the impression you were calling on fathers and daughters to start using the companion bathrooms, so that men like your husband wouldn't have to wait outside any more.

If I missed your point, and you feel that the father did nothing wrong at all, then my apologies.

Clearly everyone acted correctly, according to their personal comfort levels. And there's no need to debate anything.

 

[IrishNYC]

I am a single dad and this is the issue I am worrying about when we go to WDW in June. My daughter is 7 and will absolutely not go into the mens bathroom. I feel okay letting her go into the womens bathroom on her own with me waiting right outside. the problem I am having is when I need to use the restroom, what do I do with my daughter. Shes way too young to leave alone outside of the restroom

I think you leaving her outside the mens room is no different than her going in to the ladies room alone. You'll likely be quicker in the mens room than she will in the ladies, and she's old enough to know not to wander away. Of course I say this knowing my almost 7 year old would freak the hell out if she was in your DD's position (and I'm not necessarily comfortable with it either), so knowing that was what was going to happen, I would discuss it with her well before the trip and maybe practice at a mall or something before you go. I will add though, that I'd be more comfortable with her waiting alone outside at disney than I would be almost anywhere else.

 

[Magpie]

maybe that's the way you feel. Being a single dad I am probably more protective over my daughter than most other fathers and I do not feel comfortable leaving her by herself in an extremely crowded place that she is not familiar with

A book recommendation for you!

Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker

https://www.amazon.ca/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009

Excellent book. Really good tips.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I am a single dad and this is the issue I am worrying about when we go to WDW in June. My daughter is 7 and will absolutely not go into the mens bathroom. I feel okay letting her go into the womens bathroom on her own with me waiting right outside. the problem I am having is when I need to use the restroom, what do I do with my daughter. Shes way too young to leave alone outside of the restroom

If she *won't* go into the restroom with you, then you may have to have her wait outside the restroom. Personally, I would not force a child to go into the opposite sex restroom if they are adamantly opposed to it.

You could try and find Quick Service restrooms, potentially, so you'dbe in a restaurant at least and not a giant outdoor space. Or send her to go to the bathroom when you need to go to the bathroom (to at least try, whether she feels a need to go or not) - you should be able to get in and out before she does. These are just possible ideas, I'mnot saying any of them are fantastic. But, perhaps now would be a good time to start figuring out what your strategy will be and implement it at home. Go to the mall and other familiar places and "practice" there before going to WDW.

 

[Angel Ariel]

This, but I would expand that to any age if the child has a disability, and/or is uncomfortable going by themselves.

Not discussing disability/special needs, as that's something else entirely (and precisely what the companion restrooms are for) - but for discomfort? There does get to be an age where a child needs to transition to using public restrooms on their own. 15 year old boys shouldn't be in ladies restrooms because of a lack of comfort with the men's room. Again - comments are *not* related to children with disabilities/special needs, as that's something entirely different.

ETA: added special needs to clarify.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Not discussing disability, as that's something else entirely (and precisely what the companion restrooms are for) - but for discomfort? There does get to be an age where a child needs to transition to using public restrooms on their own. 15 year old boys shouldn't be in ladies restrooms because of a lack of comfort with the men's room. Again - comments are *not* related to children with disabilities, as that's something entirely different.

Personally, I don't believe that it matters one lick if a 15 year old boy is in a women's restroom. It does not matter to me. Especially if he has autism, and his parent needs to be with him. Federal law protects these families. They do not need to use a companion restroom.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Personally, I don't believe that it matters one lick if a 15 year old boy is in a women's restroom. It does not matter to me. Especially if he has autism, and his parent needs to be with him.

I'm pretty sure I specifically said I wasn't talking about children with disabilities. Perhaps I should clarify that to being children with special needs, so it's more clear.

And for me as a woman, I may not care about a 15 year old boy in the bathroom. A 15 year old girl may have a totally different - and *valid* - feeling on the matter. And her thoughts/feelings are important as well.

 

[TheLittles]

Haha.....so did NOT mean to open up a can of worms lol I have my answer. I will be bringing her the majority of the time but if I am in the middle of something, he can bring her.

 

[IrishNYC]

A book recommendation for you!

Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker

https://www.amazon.ca/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009

Excellent book. Really good tips.

He sounds pretty secure in his decisions how to protect his child, and I feel the same as he seems to. It's not always about "protecting" the child, but how the child feels. If the child isn't comfortable, she's not comfortable. My almost 7 year old would cry hysterically if I asked her to wait outside the bathroom for me. I don't need a book to tell me advice I didn't ask for.

 

[Magpie]

He sounds pretty secure in his decisions how to protect his child, and I feel the same as he seems to. It's not always about "protecting" the child, but how the child feels. If the child isn't comfortable, she's not comfortable. My almost 7 year old would cry hysterically if I asked her to wait outside the bathroom for me. I don't need a book to tell me advice I didn't ask for.

He described himself as "probably more protective over my daughter than most other fathers", so I thought he might appreciate the book as one more excellent addition to his arsenal.

If he's offended, I expect he'll tell me.

(I will try to remember never to recommend this book to you, but I make no promises. )

 

[Minnesota!]

I took my boys when they were little - no different than a dad taking his daughter. I will say, it was SO NICE when my kids got to be too big for the women's room and my husband HAD to be the one to take them, ha!