Press Release source: JGE, Inc.
JAZZ/GRUMBO ENTERPRISES LAUNCHES ONBOARD GRATUITY HANDLING SERVICE
November 9, 2004 1:45PM EST
Jazz/Grumbo Enterprises, Inc. is pleased to announce the latest addition to their ongoing series of services for the cost-conscious cruiser.
Service Compliments Afloat Manager (herein referred to as SCAM) will take the hassle out of dealing with tips for the various service attendants. At no cost to the cruiser, JGE will handle the distribution of all gratuities, freeing the user to more fully enjoy those precious last minutes.
According to the Canadian Headquarters, a cruiser can sign up for SCAM by sending JGE an amount equal to the number of people in their party multiplied by the standard $152 suggested tip (feel free to add or subtract based on the level of service you experience). Payment forms accepted are gold bullion, cashiers cheques from the First National Bank of Zimbabwe, or wired deposits to one of several Swiss bank accounts owned by the company.
At that point you are free to experience the rest of the cruise without filling out envelopes, doing complicated math, or chasing down attendants. Enjoy your cruise while JGE does the work. Note that there is *no charge* for this service - every nickel you pay will be redistributed in gratuities. Shortly before the cruise concludes, your tips will be delivered in an equivalent amount (although possibly in an alternate currency form) to your happy stewards and waiters.
Let JGE extend the duration and value of your cruise. At JGE - "We get the most from your money".
About JGE
Founded in 2004, JGE is intent on offering gullible cruisers the finest cruise experiences that limited money can buy (while maintaining a healthy profit for the company). Offerings to date include the Real Expensive Aphrodisiac Stuff (REAS) which includes sauna, surreal mud-bath, wine, and other valuable amenities, as well as the unique "Swim with the Jellyfish" excursion.
source: Reuters