at what age would you allow

[Nancy]

My kids can be in the delivery room for a birth when they are having their own babies.

 

[LoveWDW]

I wonder if the children will be OK if there is a great amount of blood, which there may be.

 

[Galahad]

You obviously have the trained mind of a medical Dr. which I understand - I have the trained mind of someone who has witnessed hundrends of deliveries with *0* intervention (birth centers, midwives, home AND hospitals) with absolutely no complications. Birth works...its been done for thousands of years. However when it is *necessary* medical intervention is a wonderful thing. I'm not arguing that dr.'s aren't necessary - but don't say that birth has to be medicalized all the time, because with a healthy pregnancy and a midwife to monitor things - no intervention works just fine. Trust me - I have seen emergencies to...I'm in no way saying that OB's are bad...they aren't - they are life savers at times.

Actually, I probably reacted rather strongly because I am biased since DW is an OB. Also, my experience with this will be different because she is a High Risk OB and has never been an generalist OB. And they get the most complicated cases. There are exactly 7 High Risk OB’s in our city – 5 at DW’s hospital and 2 at another, and exactly two more in the State, one each in two other cities. So DW’s group gets the vast majority of the very complicated cases for a state of about 7 million people. She delivers over 300 babies a year – more than any other OB in the state – and each of her 4 partners delivers over 200 (except for one that is semi-retired). She has literally, and without exaggeration, save the lives of no fewer that 7 mothers and 15 babies in the last month alone. BTW, there are midwives in her practice, so it is not something that all OB’s reject. But bad things do happen – moms and babies do die – babies do get born very very sick. Not an entirely benign procedure – to borrow a phrase.

 

[Marseeya]

Actually, I probably reacted rather strongly because I am biased since DW is an OB. Also, my experience with this will be different because she is a High Risk OB and has never been an generalist OB. And they get the most complicated cases. There are exactly 7 High Risk OB’s in our city – 5 at DW’s hospital and 2 at another, and exactly two more in the State, one each in two other cities. So DW’s group gets the vast majority of the very complicated cases for a state of about 7 million people. She delivers over 300 babies a year – more than any other OB in the state – and each of her 4 partners delivers over 200 (except for one that is semi-retired). She has literally, and without exaggeration, save the lives of no fewer that 7 mothers and 15 babies in the last month alone. BTW, there are midwives in her practice, so it is not something that all OB’s reject. But bad things do happen – moms and babies do die – babies do get born very very sick. Not an entirely benign procedure – to borrow a phrase.

I'm very grateful for medical interventions. If I'd lived 100 years ago, I wouldn't have survived childbirth.

Regarding the OP's question, I guess I don't have strong feelings either way. I only labored with my first child, who ended up being delivered by c-section. There is no way I'd want a child to witness any of that (the labor OR c-section). If by some miracle/accident I happen to get pregnant (had my tubes tied), I can see my dd being at the hospital during the early stages, and afterwards. Being in the room? I don't think so.

 

[DawnCt1]

Gee, so my wife wasted years of medical school, residency and 100 hours a week watching a "normal bodily function."...........

I'll be sure to tell her how unnecessary she is....

It's a "normal bodily function" until something goes very wrong, then its all the doctor's fault for not being there".

 

[DawnCt1]

She was right - giving birth is NOT a medical procedure.

The episiotomy and repair or repairing the tear certainly are.

 

[transparant]

The episiotomy and repair or repairing the tear certainly are.

Dawn...almost all of the delivery's I attend do not need episiotomy's and if they do need one or they tear - the midwife can do it.

 

[bananiem]

Dawn...almost all of the delivery's I attend do not need episiotomy's and if they do need one or they tear - the midwife can do it.

That's amazing. Of all of my friends, sisters and sister-in-law's the only ones who didn't tear or have episiotomies were the ones who had c-sections.

 

[sha_lyn]

many OB's routinely perform an episiotomy as a precaution. However there are studies out there that indicate that an episiotomy can actually increase the likelyhood of a tear. I b elieve transparent is a doula, and works with midwifes (and also manybe OBs). Anyway it would not be suprising that in a more "natural friendly" enviroment that she would not be seeing a high number of episiotomies.

 

[4greatboys]

I would let my teens in the room if they wanted to be. My 2 oldest were 12 and 14 when our last ds was born and I offered them the opportunity to be in the room if they wanted to. Of course they would have been up by my head and not at the end with the dr. My 12 yr old said no and the 14 yr old was going to but then decided he didnt want to stay at the hosp an unknown length of time waiting for the baby.
Now I wouldnt want little ones in the room because I think it would be scary for them, but I dont see anything wrong with the older kids who know whats going on being in there.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Galahad....you do realize women were having babies for thousands of yrs before there were medical Drs. Women all over the world still continue to have babies every day without medical intervention.

Not only have women been giving birth since mankind started, but so have animals- poor things, no doctors to help them.

 

[Mishetta]

I wouldn't want my kids in the room no matter what their ages.

Slightly off-topic but my friend's sister who was 22 at the time was in the delivery room with her and has now sworn off having children EVER. She is now 30 and still hasn't changed her mind

Ha Ha! I was just thinking that if I had a 16 y/o daughter, maybe I'd consider having her witness childbirth so I could be assured in thinking she wouldn't want to be sexually active!

All kidding aside though, I think it's a very personal decision but I WOULD NOT want a child in the room. As it was, there were too many people in the room when I gave birth to my LAST one. Lets see...my DH, the Doctor, my nurse & the nurse assigned to baby.

 

[bananiem]

Not only have women been giving birth since mankind started, but so have animals- poor things, no doctors to help them.

Yes, women have been giving birth for ages. But anybody happen to have the mortality rates of women and children during childbirth in the 1700's and 1800's vs. rates since medical advancement? How many of us have a "Died in childbirth" in their family tree?

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

It truly is a very personal decision. If the idea of anyone else there is distasteful to you, don't do it. If you think it would add to the overall experience, go for it, but be very prepared with kids.

Personally, I had my DH and mom in the room when #2 DD was born, (she's 13 now) and to this day I still remember mom's voice crying "it's a miracle". It was the only birth she ever witnessed (since back in her time - I'm 48 - they were knocked out and dragged out... )

I loved having them there, and BTW I did NOT have an episiotomy, no tearing, and no C-section. (this one was a VBAC, which I'm not sure they currently do much anymore - can some younger moms enlighten me on this?)

When our last DD was born, my oldest, who was 10 at the time, kept begging to be there. This was her idea, and we decided to try it. The hospital actually had special classes for siblings who were preparing to be at the birth. She went to the hospital that day, with my DH and mom, and was mostly bored with the labor part. As things turned out, I had a C-section, so of course she wasn't in the OR for that. But she was disappointed not to see her DD being born. It's funny, those two we call our "twins separated by 10 years" since they are so much alike.

I wish, if I were starting over now, that I'd look into a doctor with a midwife. My friend who has had all of her kids at home, seems to have wonderful births, with her sisters and mom nearby. Maybe that's a romantic version of the way things used to be, but I do still believe birth is a more natural part of life, maybe that's the 60's and 70's in me!!

Doctors are necessary, and I respect their knowledge and skill, and at times (I've had 2 C-sections) it is the only way. But I do think birth has become more a "medical situation" than a joyful life event. JMHO.

 

[T16GEM]

I don't think it's appropriate at all really - I read about someone who wanted their 14 year old son to be her birth partner and she thought it was weird that he didn;t want to do it - personally I found it a bit creepy JMO. When I had dd a month ago I had my DH and my mom with me and that was more than enough extra people in the delivery room!

 

[cinmell]

The only child that I would have ever allowed was the one being born!

DITTO!!!!!!!!!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Doctors are necessary, and I respect their knowledge and skill, and at times (I've had 2 C-sections) it is the only way. But I do think birth has become more a "medical situation" than a joyful life event. JMHO.

You're absolutely right. I think it's great when the hospital's allow us to combine the two together!I think the "appropriateness" of it is a personal opinion. What may be appropriate for my family may not be the case for someone else's.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Ha Ha! I was just thinking that if I had a 16 y/o daughter, maybe I'd consider having her witness childbirth so I could be assured in thinking she wouldn't want to be sexually active!

All kidding aside though, I think it's a very personal decision but I WOULD NOT want a child in the room. As it was, there were too many people in the room when I gave birth to my LAST one. Lets see...my DH, the Doctor, my nurse & the nurse assigned to baby.

That is what I ment by my post a few pages ago. I think it would be good for girls who are sexually active or considering it to witness a birth, it would really make them very carefully consider their actions.

 

[va32h]

That's amazing. Of all of my friends, sisters and sister-in-law's the only ones who didn't tear or have episiotomies were the ones who had c-sections.

I had an episiotomy with one, but no epis or tears with the subsequent two. I was very relieved when the drs that delivered my 2nd and 3rd children assured me they would not do an epi - I distinctly remember that first one as being far more painful than the crowning!

 

[bananiem]

I had an episiotomy with one, but no epis or tears with the subsequent two. I was very relieved when the drs that delivered my 2nd and 3rd children assured me they would not do an epi - I distinctly remember that first one as being far more painful than the crowning!

They didn't do one with my first and not only did I tear, the doctor's words were that I "shredded". For the second child they asked if I wanted the episiotomy and I said yes. It was much better and healed better.