at what age would you allow

[LindsayDunn228]

What if the child really wants to be there?

Simple. Just say no.

 

[Microcell]

Simple. Just say no.

Well said! I told everyone but my DH no !

 

[Chim Chiminy]

I don't think it's a small child's place to have to comfort their mother while she's in horrible pain.

Does your child ever comfort you? A hug after a long day's work? Encouraging words when things aren't going right?
Wrapping arms around you when a loved one dies?

Everyone keeps asking what does the child get out of being there---same thing the mom and dad do. The overwhelming feeling of love, an unbreakable bond, a memory to last forever.

 

[JKLLady]

My DD, 19, was at the birth of DS, 8. She has wanted to be a doctor since the age of 4, attended chidbirth classes (where she did better than any of the Dads), and even went to my amnio. She has always been very calm in emergencies; calmed her younger cousin & held his hand while he received stitches in his eyebrow when he was only 2 & she was 4! The doctor & nurses were amazed by her level of understanding & compassion. She handled my amnio waaaaayyy better than DH, watched the entire thing & asked very intelligent questions.

I never would have told her she couldn't be there! Although it also helps that I have a very high pain tolerance and deliver very easy. To this day, when DD watches "A Baby Story" on TLC she wants to know why the women are making such a fuss; I remind her that it's not as easy for everyone. She is a sophmore molecular cell biology major & plans on being a perinatologist (high risk OB/GYN). Birth & delivery have always fascinated her!

She cut the cord for her brother & they have a deep bond in spite of their age difference that I believe is directly attributable to her being in the delivery room................it is after all the miracle of birth!

 

[transparant]

Simple. Just say no.

I didn't mean if the child was the only one who wished that. I should have explained myself better. So many are talking as though no child should be in there no matter what. What I was trying to say is: if both sides (the child & parent) are ok with it - and the child really wished to be there...than who are we to say "NO".
Like I've said....I've witnessed and helped deliver MANY babies and lots of those babies had siblings witness their birth. I would say 90% of those kids (ages varied a great deal) walked away from it unscathed and in fact more comfortable and understanding with the birth process than ever. I have also delivered babies of women who witnessed their mother's give birth - and they are FAR more relaxed during the birth process than other women who have never seen a birth before or are taught "labor is awful and a horrible experience" from day one.
I don't care what a parent decides and ultimately it is their decision - but I also don't have a problem at all with a well prepared and educated child attending the birth of their sibling. HOnestly - most of these kids are not up close and personal during delivery - they are sitting across the room or behind their mother and either myself or another professional will tell them that everything is ok, and that is supposed to happen and this is going to happen next" As a matter of fact - most of the Dr.'s that I work with really enjoy it when the older brother or sister is in the room - they enjoy watching the whole family react to the birth of a new life. Now granted - I know that I see births' that most of you aren't used to and you don't see on a baby story. (meaning the women aren't screaming and the process isn't looked upon as scary. I just don't see the problem with it.

 

[Chim Chiminy]

I never would have told her she couldn't be there! Although it also helps that I have a very high pain tolerance and deliver very easy. To this day, when DD watches "A Baby Story" on TLC she wants to know why the women are making such a fuss; I remind her that it's not as easy for everyone. She is a sophmore molecular cell biology major & plans on being a perinatologist (high risk OB/GYN). Birth & delivery have always fascinated her!

She cut the cord for her brother & they have a deep bond in spite of their age difference that I believe is directly attributable to her being in the delivery room................it is after all the miracle of birth!

Thank you. I couldn't really find the words, but this is really how I felt and how my kids are. I think there is a bond there that can be attributed to DS being there when she was born.
I had very quick deliveries with both my kids also and although with DD there was some pain, and I did cry out loudly a few times, it was never like many of the births they show on A Baby Story.

 

[Galahad]

I disagree-, while childbirth has become medicalized in the past century, it is not a medical procedure, just a normal bodily function.

Jackie

Gee, so my wife wasted years of medical school, residency and 100 hours a week watching a "normal bodily function."...........

I'll be sure to tell her how unnecessary she is....

 

[transparant]

Gee, so my wife wasted years of medical school, residency and 100 hours a week watching a "normal bodily function............

She was right - giving birth is NOT a medical procedure.

 

[sha_lyn]

Galahad....you do realize women were having babies for thousands of yrs before there were medical Drs. Women all over the world still continue to have babies every day without medical intervention.

 

[Galahad]

She was right - giving birth is NOT a medical procedure.

So I assume you think OB's are superfluous.

 

[transparant]

So I assume you think OB's are superfluous.

Nope...you have assumed incorrectly. How can you possibly say that giving birth is a medical procedure?

 

[Galahad]

Galahad....you do realize women were having babies for thousands of yrs before there were medical Drs. Women all over the world still continue to have babies every day without medical intervention.

So are you willing to accept the number of deaths, still births, defects and other bad outcomes if we "un-medicalize" it?

 

[transparant]

Galahad....you do realize women were having babies for thousands of yrs before there were medical Drs. Women all over the world still continue to have babies every day without medical intervention.

Thank you.

 

[Galahad]

Nope...you have assumed incorrectly. How can you possibly say that giving birth is a medical procedure?

What the mom does is not a medical procedure, of course not. What the doctors and nurses do - especially when the outcome is in question is definietely a medical procedure. Sometimes several.

 

[Galahad]

Nope...you have assumed incorrectly. How can you possibly say that giving birth is a medical procedure?

Then what are they for?

 

[graygables]

My SIL insisted that all her children attend her during their last home birth. They ranged from 12 to 2 yo. I can't imagine anything much more horrific. Even in the medieval times, the children and men were kept away while the midwives handled things. Of course, I'm fairly sure they didn't do strange things with the placenta back then either (don't ask, you REALLY don't want to know!) It seems to be a "new old-fashioned way" of doing things developed by people who want to have some kind of roots and connection with Mother Earth.

My mother witnessed the birth of DD1 and that was horrible enough. After that, it was me, H, and a doctor or midwife (with a nice vist from an anesthesiologist in between! ) Bring DDs up after the new one is all cleaned up and pretty, thank you (then take them home and give me a chance to rest up before I have to take care of ALL of them!!!)

 

[DisneyPhD]

I don't think having a child is appropaite. Especailly considering things *could* go wrong. (not saying will, just the potential is there.)

However I would consider an teenage girl. Especially one who needed maybe an eye opening experince. (only if it was a child in my life, I wouldn't just invite any at risk teenager to the birth of my child.)

I just think that girls now a days grow up to fast and have presure to do things that end up in delivery rooms. If more girls where in a delivery room before hand, their would be much less actually becoming mothers!

 

[Pugdog007]

Not at all. It's never appropriate IMO.

 

[transparant]

What the mom does is not a medical procedure, of course not. What the doctors and nurses do - especially when the outcome is in question is definietely a medical procedure. Sometimes several.

You obviously have the trained mind of a medical Dr. which I understand - I have the trained mind of someone who has witnessed hundrends of deliveries with *0* intervention (birth centers, midwives, home AND hospitals) with absolutely no complications. Birth works...its been done for thousands of years. However when it is *necessary* medical intervention is a wonderful thing. I'm not arguing that dr.'s aren't necessary - but don't say that birth has to be medicalized all the time, because with a healthy pregnancy and a midwife to monitor things - no intervention works just fine. Trust me - I have seen emergencies to...I'm in no way saying that OB's are bad...they aren't - they are life savers at times.

 

[va32h]

She cut the cord for her brother & they have a deep bond in spite of their age difference that I believe is directly attributable to her being in the delivery room

To be fair, siblings do not need to be present at the birth to enjoy a close bond. I am 13 years younger than my sister, and we are very close, and she wasn't even in the hospital when I was born.