at what age would you allow

[Shannon G]

I agree with most of the others - I would not have child in the delivery room with me. But, I don't necessarily see anything wrong with it - just not for me! When my DDs were born, I did not want anyone other than DH & the hospital staff - if they weren't a Dr or nurse, and they were not there for the conception, I did not want them there for the delivery!

I do, however, have to disagree with the poster who described childbirth as "medical procedure." While it may sometimes require medical intervention (which I think is what they were getting at in their post) childbirth is not a medical procedure - it's a very natural process. When that baby's ready, they're coming whether there's a medical professional there or not!!!

 

[Beth76]

I wouldn't (and didn't) have anyone other than my husband and necessary medical staff.

 

[lulugirl]

I think it depends on the child and the childs level of maturity.
Dd was five when Ds was born last year, I think she would have handled it just fine (with a discussion beforehand, of course). Dh and I chose not to have her there because, frankly I think she would have been bored.
I think it's a very personal decision whether or not to have anyone else in the room during childbirth.

 

[Barb D]

I had intended for then-DS8 and DD6 to be there for the few minutes before and after delivery (just in time for the "It's a [gender]!" announcement. The doctor told us to call and tell them that it would be about an hour. As soon as I hung up the phone the baby went into distress, was delivered immediately - gray and not breathing - and had to be resuscitated. I am SO glad the big kids missed it. It was way too traumatic for them. By the time they got there she was fine and pink, and they got to hold their baby sister.

 

[transparant]

I help deliver babies for a living and I have seen children as young as 4 attend the delivery of their sibling. It all depends on how the child was brought up if you ask me. Some parents teach their child from the get go that all this stuff (birth & breastfeeding) is as natural as breathing. There for the child handles it extremely well. I have also been at a delivery where the mothers 2 other teenage daughters attended. The older one (15) couldn't handle it and the younger one (13) loved every minute of it. It all depends on the family/child.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Not at all.

 

[Chim Chiminy]

My son was a month shy of turning 6 when we had his sister. And yes, he was present in the delivery room.

We had DD at a teaching hospital, so the OB delivering her unfortunately was not the doctor I had seen up to that point. If I had known I could request it differently, I would have because she was not keen on having him there. The regular doc, Dr.M was a big fan of family involvement and was just wonderful. He viewed childbirth as a natural occurence, not some medical procedure, does that make sense?? He was very much granola........and we all loved him. Still do.

DS accompanied me on most of my check ups, was present during ultrasound, and Dr.M had the teaching library loan me some wonderful videos and books on childbirth to share with DS. He knew exactly how things would happen, that mommy might cry or scream, there would be some blood or other icky messes and that if he wanted to leave the room he could.
We had a friend with us for delivery who could stay with him if need be.

DS held my hand as I panted, he rubbed my back while I was on the birthing ball, he comforted me with words and was just wonderful. He would tell me "It's okay, mommy, it will be all right" if I started to cry from the pain. (No epidural.)
When he wasn't comforting, he was playing a game on DH's laptop.

The delivering OB was a real witch, didn't care for her at all. She was angry about us having DS along, wouldn't allow us to video, didn't want our friend in the room, etc.....
Thank goodness Dr.M was working in the ER and saw our name come up on a computer screen!
The witch had sent DS and friend out in the hallway against our protests, saying they couldn't be in there.
Dr.M ran up three flights of stairs when he saw that I was in, scooped up DS into his arms, ran into our room, and threw DS onto his shoulders so he could see "his baby" being born.
DS remembers feeling a sense of wonder and excitement at that moment, remembers her first cry, how tiny and pretty she was. He has no bad memories of the birth.
We did video later in my room and the excitement and love in his voice is tangible as he talks about how "I love my mommy, and my new baby sister, and my daddy who is taping this".
I would have them in the room again in a heartbeat if we had another baby.

I should add that when DS was born, my 14 year old brother videotaped it for us and he says it was a wonderful experience. Again, you hear absolute wonder in his voice on the tape. That was 12 years ago!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Goodness Gracious!!!

There are limits!

Heck, should we also be allowing our children to witness the "Wonderful and Joyous" act that led to the conception?

My answer,
A definate No

 

[Tinijocaro]

Not at all. It's a medical procedure. Too many things could cause them to suddenly be very much in the way.

I disagree-, while childbirth has become medicalized in the past century, it is not a medical procedure, just a normal bodily function.

Jackie

 

[CheshireVal]

Goodness Gracious!!!

There are limits!

Heck, should we also be allowing our children to witness the "Wonderful and Joyous" act that led to the conception?

My answer,
A definate No

That's kinda what I was thinking too, I just didn't express it as well as you did!

 

[transparant]

I disagree-, while childbirth has become medicalized in the past century, it is not a medical procedure, just a normal bodily function.

Jackie

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I had my baby at 21. I think I was too young to be in the room.

 

[Zandy595]

I wouldn't want my son to see me in that much pain. I know I wouldn't have wanted to see my mom. It would have scared the crap out of me even if I was told what to expect ahead of time. I don't think it's a small child's place to have to comfort their mother while she's in horrible pain.

 

[Horseshoes]

I personally would not have my kids in the room with me.

But, slightly off topic, I would NEVER have my father or FIL in the room, I've seen that on Baby story. I dont care if its the miracle of birth--Nope, not for me!!!

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

I would never have mine in the room - plus my son was 4 at the time! NO WAY!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Not at any age.

 

[cabmom]

When I give birth within the next couple of weeks, my 3 boys will be in the delivery room. If they choose to leave I have a friend who has been at the births of all my boys who will take them out. They have seen videos and know what is going to happen. Having been thru it 3 times now, I know how I'll be. JMHO!
They are 9, 7 and 5.

Marilynn

 

[hugsquared]

I agree with the posters who said there are too many variables. I worked L&D for 2.5 years and have seen things that made me upset. You never know whats going to happen. I've seen what should have been a perfectly normal delivery turn into complete chaos in a matter of seconds with a shoulder dystocia, 4th degree tears (where you tear into your rectum...very bloody and painful), I've seen babies that never breath...end up intubated and staff doing CPR and I've also seen a mother throw an embolism immediately after birth. She died. I've also seen a uterus invert and we've had to immediately rush the mom to the OR. While many, many births turn out fine, you just never know and I wouldn't want to think my child was forever traumatized by things they saw in there.
And while we like to think of all the natural wonders that go on with birth, I've had a doctor tell me that giving birth is the closest a woman will come to death without dying. Way before doctors and hospitals, think of all the mothers and babies that died during childbirth. It just seems a little harsh of an environment for a child to me. JMHO.
And I've seen extended family members in the delivery room also. Bothers, BIL's, fathers (soon to be grandfathers), FIL's. I just don't get it but thats what makes all of us unique I suppose.
In the end, you just have to make the judgement for youself and do what you feel comfortable with.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

a child to be in the room when you deliever a baby? What do you think is appropriate - or not at all?

It really depends on the child. Some may be able to handle, some may not. You also have to take into consideration any complications or special situations. And if you do decide to allow a child in the room, there should be a contingency plan should something go wrong.

I decided to allow my 8 year old dd in the room when we delivered our last son. He wasn't expected to survive birth, and it was very important to her that she was there, good or bad. I said yes, but I made sure that there was a friend stationed just outside the door should she become too upset. We ended up having to use that friend because my dd couldn't handle it. A few minutes later she settled down and was able to come back in and get some beautiful pictures with her brother.

So it all really depends. I think it's a wonderful thing for a brother or sister to witness their siblings birth!

 

[720L]

never!!!!!