At what age did you let your son go to the mens room alone?

[aliceindisneyland]

Give me a wink if you see DS and me in the ladies' restroom at DL!

 

[Gracie09]

If you must bring your older male child into the wens reatro bring him in the stall with you. How else are you going to protect him? If you are behind a closed locked door, with your pants down you are not going to be able to do anything should someone decide to harm your child. So the only real way to protect him is he stays in the stall with you. If he is too old for that, he needs to go to the men's room.
And before i get the whole it's too crowded in the stall, I have had three four year olds in a standard stall with me. It was tight but doable. So two people fit.

 

[larina]

To the people saying that we need to take them in the stall, I'm sorry but there are times this just can't happen. I have my son stand in front if my stall so I can see his feet and I know he's not looking anywhere he shouldn't.

 

[robinb]

I saw this thread yesterday but didn't get a chance to read it today.

To the people saying that we need to take them in the stall, I'm sorry but there are times this just can't happen. I have my son stand in front if my stall so I can see his feet and I know he's not looking anywhere he shouldn't.

Exactly when can't you take your son into the stall with you?

 

[Love Tink]

Give me a wink if you see DS and me in the ladies' restroom at DL!

Oh, I will! It's just so cute to see someone cripple her child's burgeoning sense of self for her own selfish reasons! And I love seeing mortified tween boys - the warmth that comes from knowing they are developing unspecific feelings of shame, through no fault of their own!

 

[Mousequake]

And it bears repeating, children are almost NEVER molested by strangers. It's uncles, neighbors, fathers, pastors, brothers, aunts, coaches and friends who molest children. I get that the world can be a scary place, believe me, but I think we owe it to our kids to be concerned about real fears and not vague potentialities. And the response to this often is, you can never be too careful. Well, I'd argue you can. You can be careful to the point you cripple your child's burgeoning sense of independence. Do you make your child stay home every single time it rains because s/he might get hit by lightning? No, because that would be ridiculous, right? Well they are more likely to be struck by lightning than molested by a stranger. Please, for the sake of your kids teach them the world is basically a safe place (because it is, much more so than when were kids even) and let them grow into functioning, autonomous adults.

So very much this.

This "just in case" mentality is so damaging to our kids, crippling their sense of autonomy and ability to take care of themselves "just in case" something extremely statistically improbable happens. I certainly hope these same people walk the walk and don't drive or fly their children to Disneyland, since the chances of them getting hurt that way are muuuuuuuch higher than any potential molestation that might or might not occur.

 

[AZMermaid]

Do your (general your) children go to the restroom at school? As someone who works in a school.... I think there is FAR more danger from a parent with a visitor sticker lurking in the bathroom then a crowded DL bathroom. Actually, I think there is very little danger in either scenario.... but the school bathroom is much quieter.

 

[DisneyChula]

Give me a wink if you see DS and me in the ladies' restroom at DL!

I would hate for you to mistake that I was winking at your son because then what would your restroom options be?

 

[dawnball]

Do your (general your) children go to the restroom at school? As someone who works in a school.... I think there is FAR more danger from a parent with a visitor sticker lurking in the bathroom then a crowded DL bathroom. Actually, I think there is very little danger in either scenario.... but the school bathroom is much quieter.

Adults aren't allowed to use the student restrooms at my daughter's school - probably for this very reason. They can use the (single user) restroom at the office.

There's minimal risk, but it's an easy solution.

 

[AZMermaid]

Well... they aren't "allowed" to at my school either. But only 1 of the 4 student bathrooms are in sight of the office. The one off the playground is WAY out of the way....

I don't actually think this is a huge risk anyway. But, to me, way more real than DL bathrooms. I'm not a nervous parent, but just food for thought.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Oh, I will! It's just so cute to see someone cripple her child's burgeoning sense of self for her own selfish reasons! And I love seeing mortified tween boys - the warmth that comes from knowing they are developing unspecific feelings of shame, through no fault of their own!

Ouch! I hope I am reading this out of context. Seems a little harsh?

 

[SweetAlex]

So very much this.

This "just in case" mentality is so damaging to our kids, crippling their sense of autonomy and ability to take care of themselves "just in case" something extremely statistically improbable happens. I certainly hope these same people walk the walk and don't drive or fly their children to Disneyland, since the chances of them getting hurt that way are muuuuuuuch higher than any potential molestation that might or might not occur.

This is what I can't get over. A child is surely 10,000x more likely to get hurt in a car accident or simply walking down the street than getting hurt in a public washroom. Are these parents allowing their children to do these things...? I guess they must but the rationale is definitely off base a little.

 

[ClaraOswald]

To the people saying that we need to take them in the stall, I'm sorry but there are times this just can't happen. I have my son stand in front if my stall so I can see his feet and I know he's not looking anywhere he shouldn't.

I'm curious, when are the times that this "just can't happen?"

 

[Stacerita]

I will have to go back to read the other replies. These are my thoughts:
1. If I am a pervert/child abductor the first place I'd put myself would be a church. The second would be Disneyland. The two places people's defenses are down. I remind my kids of this all the time because to them, DL is their second home and they feel very comfortable wandering away from me there.

2. On the other hand, few places are better monitored than DL. Again, I tell my kids that DL police can see and hear everything they do. I honestly assume that's true, though typically cameras do not carry in to restrooms. (I wouldn't put it past Disney though!)

3. DS10 is 5'2" and nearly 110lb. This creates two problems: He thinks he is "big enough" to thwart an attacker in the men's room and he looks 12-13 so he worries that if he's in the ladies' room someone will think he's not just a little kid.

4. That tragic case in Las Vegas ruined me forever. I do my best to accommodate DS's wish to not go into the ladies' room, like stopping at Starbucks on the road because those are usually a locking one-person restroom, or finding a family restroom if possible, or waiting for the restroom to clear out - but sometimes, that poor kid just has to suck it up and go into the ladies' room with me. I know that all moms understand. ETA: Well, not all moms.

Your son at 10 is bigger than my daughter at almost 19. And because she is small and has a baby face, she looks closer to 13/14. So with your warped logic I should still be accompanying her to the bathroom. Maybe I should move into the dorms with her as well to make sure no one is lurking in those bathrooms there either. Unless your some has a disability that requires you to assist him in the bathroom, at that age and size there is no need for him in the ladies room. I repeat LADIES ROOM.

I do believe you're the only one beating this dead horse. No, a 13-yr-old's discomfort - nor her mother's - does not bother me on this non-issue. Honestly, unless she's changing her clothes next to the sinks I am hard pressed to figure out where modesty comes into play here.

And FWIW, my son has never peeped at anything but his shoes as he walks through the ladies' restroom; in fact, he refuses to wash his hands if there are ladies present and just uses buckets of sanitizer after he races out the door.

You say this is a non-issue, I disagree. It most certainly is an issue. You aren't bringing a small child unable to use the restroom alone in with you, you are bringing an older child who could handle business on his own. And in doing so changing the dynamic of the women's restroom because of your own selfishness. You claim you don't care about other's discomfort? That is very selfish. If you really don't want him going solo, then you should join him in the men's room. Afterall, his safety you kow.

And yes, there have been many times where there has been changing going on next to the sinks. And you wouldn't know until your kid was face to face with a changing lady.

Give me a wink if you see DS and me in the ladies' restroom at DL!

Rude rude rude.

If you must bring your older male child into the wens reatro bring him in the stall with you. How else are you going to protect him? If you are behind a closed locked door, with your pants down you are not going to be able to do anything should someone decide to harm your child. So the only real way to protect him is he stays in the stall with you. If he is too old for that, he needs to go to the men's room.
And before i get the whole it's too crowded in the stall, I have had three four year olds in a standard stall with me. It was tight but doable. So two people fit.

Agree.

 

[DisneyChula]

Ouch! I hope I am reading this out of context. Seems a little harsh?

I don't think it seems harsh at all.

 

[ClaraOswald]

I think we can all (well, minus perhaps 1 person) agree that an almost-teenage boy with no disabilities does NOT need to be in the women's restroom.

As far as the OP, with a 6 year old - it's really up do your own discretion because you know your child best. If you decide to bring him with you, I don't think anyone will give you any dirty looks.

 

[SweetAlex]

I think we can all (well, minus perhaps 1 person) agree that an almost-teenage boy with no disabilities does NOT need to be in the women's restroom.

As far as the OP, with a 6 year old - it's really up do your own discretion because you know your child best. If you decide to bring him with you, I don't think anyone will give you any dirty looks.

Agreed. It really depends on each child, what they are comfortable with if they are able to follow basic instructions (lock the door, flush, wash your hands, etc). If they are, then let them be "big boys". They will thrive on the responsibility!

 

[Rebekkap]

I will have to go back to read the other replies. These are my thoughts:
1. If I am a pervert/child abductor the first place I'd put myself would be a church. The second would be Disneyland. The two places people's defenses are down. I remind my kids of this all the time because to them, DL is their second home and they feel very comfortable wandering away from me there.

2. On the other hand, few places are better monitored than DL. Again, I tell my kids that DL police can see and hear everything they do. I honestly assume that's true, though typically cameras do not carry in to restrooms. (I wouldn't put it past Disney though!)

3. DS10 is 5'2" and nearly 110lb. This creates two problems: He thinks he is "big enough" to thwart an attacker in the men's room and he looks 12-13 so he worries that if he's in the ladies' room someone will think he's not just a little kid.

4. That tragic case in Las Vegas ruined me forever. I do my best to accommodate DS's wish to not go into the ladies' room, like stopping at Starbucks on the road because those are usually a locking one-person restroom, or finding a family restroom if possible, or waiting for the restroom to clear out - but sometimes, that poor kid just has to suck it up and go into the ladies' room with me. I know that all moms understand. ETA: Well, not all moms.

Your kid is ten, and you make him go to the ladies' bathroom with you? You need professional help, seriously. I don't say that to be mean or rude, but you clearly have some issues that would be best addressed by a medical professional.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Your kid is ten, and you make him go to the ladies' bathroom with you? You need professional help, seriously. I don't say that to be mean or rude, but you clearly have some issues that would be best addressed by a medical professional.

I'm sorry, but who are you to judge another's parenting and advise them that they have issue that need professional help?
It would be nice to see parents behaving like grown ups on this thread. The longer it goes on the more cheap shots I am seeing. We may not all agree with eachothers parenting beliefs but that doesn't make anyone right or wrong and certainly doesn't warrant someone saying what you said to this person.
Its not the predators that we need to worry about. Its all the judgemental parents out there. Yikes!
I think we mostly can all agree that this thread has probably gone on longer than needed and im sure the OP has gotten plenty of advice.

 

[ClaraOswald]

I think most people would think that it is wrong to bring an almost teenage boy into the women's public restroom unless that child had a disability. Very few people are going to think this is acceptable behavior.

There are plenty of parenting styles out there, which is great, but there are certain things that are just plain wrong. And this is one of them, especially since it involves other people (all other women and girls in the bathroom.)

I mean, it's not like the "how old is too old to be in a stroller" type of debate. Because that one really doesn't effect anyone else. But this one does.