At what age did you let your son go to the mens room alone?

[Vintage Mouseketeer]

...... until it starts infringing on others. It's a balance. If the PP thinks 10 is ok, what about 11? How about 12? 13? I still can't get over the PP completely discounting my 13 Y.O. daughter's desire for a bit of privacy and modesty in a ladies' room.

I completely agree!!

I remember when I started my "cycle" when I was 11 and was so embarrassed. To the point where I burst into tears from embarrassment when buying feminine product "out in public". I would have been mortified to see a 10/11 yo in the ladies restroom.

Seriously, if you must take your grown son into the ladies room use the family restrooms, that's what they're there for.

PS, I asked my mom at what age she allowed her favorite child (my brother) to use the men's room alone when he was a kid, she said 7 ... Lol

 

[ImSoExcited]

This thread is ludicrous. Clearly there is no deceased horse-beating if some posters are still arguing that it's permissible to bring a boy over 7 into a ladies restroom. Pedophiles laying wait in a public, busy restroom is a delusion. If would take a concerted effort by dozens of people to have only the nefarious, ill-intentioned people in the restroom at the precise time your child came in. If anything were to happen, all the other perfectly normal men and fathers would come to the attention of your son. There is zero danger there. If you are really worried about a male preying upon your child, I would suggest you divorce your husband and remove contact from all other family member, as pedophilia manifests in adult women as well. Also, you are likely turning your child into an even greater target, because the cognitively disabled are targeted at a much higher rate than other children. Any pedophile who witnesses your ten year old going into a ladies restroom would likely assume he was mentally deficient and would be more likely to target him around the park, when your defenses were down, as it were. Some of the selfishness in this thread blows my mind. There is no "live and let live" parenting here when you are infringing on the peace of other people. Trek farther and find a family restroom if you must infantilize your child. I changed after splash mountain in a restroom when I was in middle school and a boy my age leered at me while his mother peed. It ruined my trip completely.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

This thread is ludicrous. Clearly there is no deceased horse-beating if some posters are still arguing that it's permissible to bring a boy over 7 into a ladies restroom. Pedophiles laying wait in a public, busy restroom is a delusion. If would take a concerted effort by dozens of people to have only the nefarious, ill-intentioned people in the restroom at the precise time your child came in. If anything were to happen, all the other perfectly normal men and fathers would come to the attention of your son. There is zero danger there. If you are really worried about a male preying upon your child, I would suggest you divorce your husband and remove contact from all other family member, as pedophilia manifests in adult women as well. Also, you are likely turning your child into an even greater target, because the cognitively disabled are targeted at a much higher rate than other children. Any pedophile who witnesses your ten year old going into a ladies restroom would likely assume he was mentally deficient and would be more likely to target him around the park, when your defenses were down, as it were. Some of the selfishness in this thread blows my mind. There is no "live and let live" parenting here when you are infringing on the peace of other people. Trek farther and find a family restroom if you must infantilize your child. I changed after splash mountain in a restroom when I was in middle school and a boy my age leered at me while his mother peed. It ruined my trip completely.

I stand by everything I have said and do believe that this topic is played out. However, I have one question for you. You state that predators waiting a crowded restroom is a delusion. Have you never been in a public bathroom alone? It doesn't happen often at Disneyland but soemtimes bathrooms are empty and someone could be in there waiting. Isnt assuming that bathrooms are safe as delusional as assuming there is danger lurking in all of them?

 

[mom2rtk]

I stand by everything I have said and do believe that this topic is played out. However, I have one question for you. You state that predators waiting a crowded restroom is a delusion. Have you never been in a public bathroom alone? It doesn't happen often at Disneyland but soemtimes bathrooms are empty and someone could be in there waiting. Isnt assuming that bathrooms are safe as delusional as assuming there is danger lurking in all of them?

Can you point to one report of a child being molested in a bathroom at DLR? I can point to countless reports of children being injured in car crashes. But I'm betting you put her in a car.

Your DD will be old enough to drive in 7 years, old enough to leave for college in 9 years. Now is when you are supposed to be laying the groundwork for her to trust her instincts and make good decisions. While I understand the urge to eliminate risk from her life, it really does not help her in the end.

 

[robinb]

Odd that we get such differing opinions when it comes to the safety of children.

All of us parents just need to do what we feel is best for our kids.

...... until it starts infringing on others. It's a balance.

If the PP thinks 10 is ok, what about 11? How about 12? 13?

I still can't get over the PP completely discounting my 13 Y.O. daughter's desire for a bit of privacy and modesty in a ladies' room.

I am always reminded of this quote when the "older boys in the bathroom" thread comes up ...

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Can you point to one report of a child being molested in a bathroom at DLR? I can point to countless reports of children being injured in car crashes. But I'm betting you put her in a car.

Your DD will be old enough to drive in 7 years, old enough to leave for college in 9 years. Now is when you are supposed to be laying the groundwork for her to trust her instincts and make good decisions. While I understand the urge to eliminate risk from her life, it really does not help her in the end.

Who says I am not laying that ground work?
There are avoidable risks and unavoidable risks. If I can stay nearby my kids in a public restroom and avoid potential negative situations then I sure as heck will. Its unreasonable to compare it to driving. I live in a car dependent city. I can't control the other drivers on the road. But I can do everything in my power to assure her safety- car seats, careful driving, seatbelts...
You can't control everything, who is to say that we would not both be attacked by a psycho at the same time in a restroom? I cant control that. But I'll continue to protect and prevent what I can.

 

[summerw]

I have a 5 year old son. I still take him into the stall with me. We go to DL alone almost exclusively because we live close and go during the week when the husband is working. It's definitely getting close to being too awkward for us both in the stall. Once it does become so, I will have to consider not only where he will go, but where he will wait for me.

I don't worry about pedophiles at Disneyland much because being a "single mom for the day" I know how great other dads are toward single moms and their kids, helping with strollers on trams etc. I trust that someone would help if my son called out. I do however worry about being separated from my son that long with no one I trust watching him. I worry about fake name tags way more or anyone who could convince him to go with them. He's smart and we talk to him about safety, but he's 5 and still believes every commercial he watches. For that reason, I might have him still come into to the bathroom with me for a little longer.

Disney allows you to ride alone once you are 7. That seems a reasonable age to me for a kid to go to the bathroom alone and wait for me alone too. I do agree that after 7 it would be more polite for moms with their sons to find a family restroom, which are not plentiful at Disneyland.

This thread is sadly full of people caring about how it affects them and not others on both sides. As I said, I do not worry about molestation, but I can understand another parent's (most likely unnecessary but still valid) concern. There are many news stories about DL employees being arrested for molestation and I'm sure Disney pays off many more from being public. Living close, I hear a lot of things that never become public. That being said I don't think anyone who worries about molestation should ever ignore how a girl might feel being peeped at by a pre-teen boy.

I do say to anyone defending girls changing in the "public" area of the women's room… it is hypocritical to say from one side of your mouth that a 7 year old boy should not go into a women's room and out of the other say it's ok for a middle school girl to change in the public area. I would find it odd for a grown woman or any girl who is old enough to be conscious of her body that way to not go into a stall. I have many times seen men and boys accidentally walk into the wrong restroom.

I think that if you feel the need to bring your son of any age into the women's restroom, you should talk to him about not looking into stalls, about being quick about washing up and heading out, about everything that would make the visit as considerate as possible toward the ladies. I remember how awkward everything felt as a tween girl. I would hope the other moms would respect that too.

 

[Gracie09]

Who says I am not laying that ground work?
There are avoidable risks and unavoidable risks. If I can stay nearby my kids in a public restroom and avoid potential negative situations then I sure as heck will. Its unreasonable to compare it to driving. I live in a car dependent city. I can't control the other drivers on the road. But I can do everything in my power to assure her safety- car seats, careful driving, seatbelts...
You can't control everything, who is to say that we would not both be attacked by a psycho at the same time in a restroom? I cant control that. But I'll continue to protect and prevent what I can.

Its actually more analogous to not using a car seat or seat belt in a car because of the .000001% chance of being stuck in a car after an accident if you are in a seat belt. The chance of a tween boy being kidnapped or otherwise molested at disneyland in a bathroom is about .000001%.

 

[grnflash]

Who says I am not laying that ground work?
There are avoidable risks and unavoidable risks. If I can stay nearby my kids in a public restroom and avoid potential negative situations then I sure as heck will. Its unreasonable to compare it to driving. I live in a car dependent city. I can't control the other drivers on the road. But I can do everything in my power to assure her safety- car seats, careful driving, seatbelts...
You can't control everything, who is to say that we would not both be attacked by a psycho at the same time in a restroom? I cant control that. But I'll continue to protect and prevent what I can.

Right, you can't control everything. But at some point the scale tips and it's not protection anymore, it's paranoia. Right now you're protecting your kids and laying good groundwork for them to be safe drivers in the future. Now if you're still driving them around everywhere they need to go in college because the roads are too scary with dangerous drivers, the scale would be tipped. I think the scale has tipped for the 10yo boy having to go into the ladies room with his mom (and the PP's own posts certainly makes the kid sound unhappy and embarrassed with the entire situation.)

It certainly does not teach him to be safety aware for himself, practice safe procedures independently and follow his own gut. It is more likely disabling his confidence and decision making growth in general These things take practice and experience, and 10 is getting late in the game to start teaching them. I would add that courtesy is also not being taught.

 

[SweetAlex]

Who says I am not laying that ground work?
There are avoidable risks and unavoidable risks. If I can stay nearby my kids in a public restroom and avoid potential negative situations then I sure as heck will. Its unreasonable to compare it to driving. I live in a car dependent city. I can't control the other drivers on the road. But I can do everything in my power to assure her safety- car seats, careful driving, seatbelts...
You can't control everything, who is to say that we would not both be attacked by a psycho at the same time in a restroom? I cant control that. But I'll continue to protect and prevent what I can.

We completely understand your desire to protect. You are a parent after all, like the rest of us. But I think what most are trying to say is that some parents' desire to protect is teetering very close to obsession and irrationality. Our sons and daughters need to be allowed independence (by allowing them to take risks) at this precious stage of their life or they will never learn it. They will never learn their own abilities and strengths (and weaknesses, which is just as valuable). They will fear everything because they were taught things like if they enter a bathroom alone, they will surely be assaulted. We need to teach them how to be safe, teach them how to protect themselves but then let them learn it. For example, even if we teach our children how to safely cross the street but then spend the next 10 years crossing the street with them because we don't want them to take "an avoidable risk", they will never actually learn how to cross the street alone. Our job as parents is to teach our children the skills they need to be functional adults.

As mentioned before, "Too safe for their own Good" is an incredible book just for this topic. The author tells of the time he was at the park with his kids and watched as a little girl bravely climbed the jungle gym and as she reached the top, she proudly shouted at her mom "look at me mommy!" Her mom, rather than being encouraging and proud of what her daughter learned to do, freaked and ran over, shouting for her daughter to be careful, to not fall and that mommy would come save her. The little girl, seeing her mothers panic, started to see not her accomplishment but new fears like falling, and getting hurt and panicked herself. After her mother "rescued" her (of course feeling that she was "helping" her daughter), the little girl refused to go on anything else. She hung back in fear. The author wondered how long it took for that girl to ever get back that confidence and pride she felt for that brief moment. How will she now ever learn her limits, the dangers, her own strength and ability if her mom didn't let her try things? It's the same idea with things like this. If you teach them fear, they will learn fear. If you teach them confidence, strength and safety and then let them try, they will learn that.

 

[heartse]

We completely understand your desire to protect. You are a parent after all, like the rest of us. But I think what most are trying to say is that some parents' desire to protect is teetering very close to obsession and irrationality. Our sons and daughters need to be allowed independence (by allowing them to take risks) at this precious stage of their life or they will never learn it. They will never learn their own abilities and strengths (and weaknesses, which is just as valuable). They will fear everything because they were taught things like if they enter a bathroom alone, they will surely be assaulted. We need to teach them how to be safe, teach them how to protect themselves but then let them learn it. For example, even if we teach our children how to safely cross the street but then spend the next 10 years crossing the street with them because we don't want them to take "an avoidable risk", they will never actually learn how to cross the street alone. Our job as parents is to teach our children the skills they need to be functional adults.

As mentioned before, "Too safe for their own Good" is an incredible book just for this topic. The author tells of the time he was at the park with his kids and watched as a little girl bravely climbed the jungle gym and as she reached the top, she proudly shouted at her mom "look at me mommy!" Her mom, rather than being encouraging and proud of what her daughter learned to do, freaked and ran over, shouting for her daughter to be careful, to not fall and that mommy would come save her. The little girl, seeing her mothers panic, started to see not her accomplishment but new fears like falling, and getting hurt and panicked herself. After her mother "rescued" her (of course feeling that she was "helping" her daughter), the little girl refused to go on anything else. She hung back in fear. The author wondered how long it took for that girl to ever get back that confidence and pride she felt for that brief moment. How will she now ever learn her limits, the dangers, her own strength and ability if her mom didn't let her try things? It's the same idea with things like this. If you teach them fear, they will learn fear. If you teach them confidence, strength and safety and then let them try, they will learn that.

Sometimes I really wish there was a Like button on here!

 

[ClaraOswald]

I stand by everything I have said and do believe that this topic is played out. However, I have one question for you. You state that predators waiting a crowded restroom is a delusion. Have you never been in a public bathroom alone? It doesn't happen often at Disneyland but soemtimes bathrooms are empty and someone could be in there waiting. Isnt assuming that bathrooms are safe as delusional as assuming there is danger lurking in all of them?

If you think this topic is played out, why do you keep coming back?

There is a very minimal chance of some creep molesting someone in a Disneyland bathroom. Like, less than half a percent or something, I'm sure.

Who says I am not laying that ground work?
There are avoidable risks and unavoidable risks. If I can stay nearby my kids in a public restroom and avoid potential negative situations then I sure as heck will. Its unreasonable to compare it to driving. I live in a car dependent city. I can't control the other drivers on the road. But I can do everything in my power to assure her safety- car seats, careful driving, seatbelts...
You can't control everything, who is to say that we would not both be attacked by a psycho at the same time in a restroom? I cant control that. But I'll continue to protect and prevent what I can.

So, there's a chance when daughter goes to college that she could be attacked by a stranger (or even someone she knows.) I'm guessing a higher chance than in a restroom at Disneyland. Will you follow her to college and be by her side every second? At some point, we all have to hope we've taught our kids enough and send them on their way. I think letting a 10 year old use the bathroom on his own at Disneyland may be a good place to start.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

If you think this topic is played out, why do you keep coming back?

There is a very minimal chance of some creep molesting someone in a Disneyland bathroom. Like, less than half a percent or something, I'm sure.

So, there's a chance when daughter goes to college that she could be attacked by a stranger (or even someone she knows.) I'm guessing a higher chance than in a restroom at Disneyland. Will you follow her to college and be by her side every second? At some point, we all have to hope we've taught our kids enough and send them on their way. I think letting a 10 year old use the bathroom on his own at Disneyland may be a good place to start.

I do like to answer and respond to things directly related to me or asked of me, which is why I was returning to the thread.
Clearly a young child and a college aged adult are very different and I certainly would not follow my adult children around holding their hands. I agree that 10 is a good age to start, which is what I told the OP initially. No argument there.

 

[ClaraOswald]

I do like to answer and respond to things directly related to me or asked of me, which is why I was returning to the thread.
Clearly a young child and a college aged adult are very different and I certainly would not follow my adult children around holding their hands. I agree that 10 is a good age to start, which is what I told the OP initially. No argument there.

Oh, I guess I worded that a bit odd. I meant for that previous poster, with the 10 year old son, now might be a good time for HER to start.

Overall, I think around 6 years old is a good time to start giving a bit of freedom with restrooms at Disneyland.

 

[ImSoExcited]

I have a 5 year old son. I still take him into the stall with me. We go to DL alone almost exclusively because we live close and go during the week when the husband is working. It's definitely getting close to being too awkward for us both in the stall. Once it does become so, I will have to consider not only where he will go, but where he will wait for me. I don't worry about pedophiles at Disneyland much because being a "single mom for the day" I know how great other dads are toward single moms and their kids, helping with strollers on trams etc. I trust that someone would help if my son called out. I do however worry about being separated from my son that long with no one I trust watching him. I worry about fake name tags way more or anyone who could convince him to go with them. He's smart and we talk to him about safety, but he's 5 and still believes every commercial he watches. For that reason, I might have him still come into to the bathroom with me for a little longer. Disney allows you to ride alone once you are 7. That seems a reasonable age to me for a kid to go to the bathroom alone and wait for me alone too. I do agree that after 7 it would be more polite for moms with their sons to find a family restroom, which are not plentiful at Disneyland. This thread is sadly full of people caring about how it affects them and not others on both sides. As I said, I do not worry about molestation, but I can understand another parent's (most likely unnecessary but still valid) concern. There are many news stories about DL employees being arrested for molestation and I'm sure Disney pays off many more from being public. Living close, I hear a lot of things that never become public. That being said I don't think anyone who worries about molestation should ever ignore how a girl might feel being peeped at by a pre-teen boy. I do say to anyone defending girls changing in the "public" area of the women's room… it is hypocritical to say from one side of your mouth that a 7 year old boy should not go into a women's room and out of the other say it's ok for a middle school girl to change in the public area. I would find it odd for a grown woman or any girl who is old enough to be conscious of her body that way to not go into a stall. I have many times seen men and boys accidentally walk into the wrong restroom. I think that if you feel the need to bring your son of any age into the women's restroom, you should talk to him about not looking into stalls, about being quick about washing up and heading out, about everything that would make the visit as considerate as possible toward the ladies. I remember how awkward everything felt as a tween girl. I would hope the other moms would respect that too.

This is a good post.

I was unclear in my post. I was in a stall changing and a boy was waiting for his mother and looking in the crack. I probably would have been embarrassed had a girl been looking in but to have a boy my age doing so was the pinnacle of discomfort. He and his mother left before I could tell my mother, but it would not have happened had he not been allowed in by his mother. Considering the posts in this thread detailing kids looking in, it's not uncommon to experience this.

I also think many posters are missing the point. Disneyland allows for the very small subset of paranoid parents to be accommodated by using family restrooms. It doesn't matter that there aren't enough of them, these people need to walk farther if they want to indulge these fears without infringing on the very common expectation that a ladies room should be composed of ladies or small children.

 

[ImSoExcited]

I stand by everything I have said and do believe that this topic is played out. However, I have one question for you. You state that predators waiting a crowded restroom is a delusion. Have you never been in a public bathroom alone? It doesn't happen often at Disneyland but soemtimes bathrooms are empty and someone could be in there waiting. Isnt assuming that bathrooms are safe as delusional as assuming there is danger lurking in all of them?

Saying "someone could be there waiting" is so overly paranoid that it's difficult to sympathize with when you are advocating indulging this paranoia on the back of others' discomfort. You are taking the smallest of small chances and using that irrational possibility to force the very possible scenario that the ladies and girls using that restroom will be uncomfortable.

To answer your question, I've never been alone in a public restroom at Disneyland and would be hard pressed to find anyone who has been alone at any time of the day a child would visit disneyland. Statistically speaking, considering the number of assaults per bathroom visit compared with the number of safe experiences per bathroom visit, no, I don't think assuming a bathroom is safe is as delusional as assuming there is danger lurking around every corner.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Saying "someone could be there waiting" is so overly paranoid that it's difficult to sympathize with when you are advocating indulging this paranoia on the back of others' discomfort. You are taking the smallest of small chances and using that irrational possibility to force the very possible scenario that the ladies and girls using that restroom will be uncomfortable.

To answer your question, I've never been alone in a public restroom at Disneyland and would be hard pressed to find anyone who has been alone at any time of the day a child would visit disneyland. Statistically speaking, considering the number of assaults per bathroom visit compared with the number of safe experiences per bathroom visit, no, I don't think assuming a bathroom is safe is as delusional as assuming there is danger lurking around every corner.

I dont see it as indulging paranoia. All I have been trying to say is that I sympathize with moms taking their sons, up to age 10, into a ladies room. I don't have boys so I dont have to deal with that scenario. I agree that over age 10 is extreme.
The world is not a nice place and as much as people (including myself) would love to believe that only good people go to family places like Disneyland, it just is not true. It doesn't make me paranoid. It makes me realistic. I am not afraid that myself or my children will be attacked in a public restroom but I do realize that there is a small chance that it could happen. Just the same as accidents and illnesses can happen. I chose to take precautions with my girls when I am able to, within reason. I understand moms of little boys doing the same. To me, bringing your boy to the ladies room, up to 10 years old, is within reason. Turning a blind eye to the fact that bad things can and do happen anywhere (even rarely) is something I would never be comfortable doing.
And for what it's worth, we have been in a handful of empty Disneyland bathrooms. Not often, but more than once.

 

[mom2rtk]

I dont see it as indulging paranoia. All I have been trying to say is that I sympathize with moms taking their sons, up to age 10, into a ladies room. I don't have boys so I dont have to deal with that scenario. I agree that over age 10 is extreme.
The world is not a nice place and as much as people (including myself) would love to believe that only good people go to family places like Disneyland, it just is not true. It doesn't make me paranoid. It makes me realistic. I am not afraid that myself or my children will be attacked in a public restroom but I do realize that there is a small chance that it could happen. Just the same as accidents and illnesses can happen. I chose to take precautions with my girls when I am able to, within reason. I understand moms of little boys doing the same. To me, bringing your boy to the ladies room, up to 10 years old, is within reason. Turning a blind eye to the fact that bad things can and do happen anywhere (even rarely) is something I would never be comfortable doing.
And for what it's worth, we have been in a handful of empty Disneyland bathrooms. Not often, but more than once.

Nobody bringing their tween son into the ladies' room believes they are indulging paranoia. Or they wouldn't be doing it.

And you referring to people allowing their 7-10 year old sons to use the men's room alone as "turning a blind eye" sounds sort of like you consider yourself the better parent.

 

[TheLanes]

These two put it very nicely!!!

I have a 5 year old son. I still take him into the stall with me. We go to DL alone almost exclusively because we live close and go during the week when the husband is working. It's definitely getting close to being too awkward for us both in the stall. Once it does become so, I will have to consider not only where he will go, but where he will wait for me.

I don't worry about pedophiles at Disneyland much because being a "single mom for the day" I know how great other dads are toward single moms and their kids, helping with strollers on trams etc. I trust that someone would help if my son called out. I do however worry about being separated from my son that long with no one I trust watching him. I worry about fake name tags way more or anyone who could convince him to go with them. He's smart and we talk to him about safety, but he's 5 and still believes every commercial he watches. For that reason, I might have him still come into to the bathroom with me for a little longer.

Disney allows you to ride alone once you are 7. That seems a reasonable age to me for a kid to go to the bathroom alone and wait for me alone too. I do agree that after 7 it would be more polite for moms with their sons to find a family restroom, which are not plentiful at Disneyland.

This thread is sadly full of people caring about how it affects them and not others on both sides. As I said, I do not worry about molestation, but I can understand another parent's (most likely unnecessary but still valid) concern. There are many news stories about DL employees being arrested for molestation and I'm sure Disney pays off many more from being public. Living close, I hear a lot of things that never become public. That being said I don't think anyone who worries about molestation should ever ignore how a girl might feel being peeped at by a pre-teen boy.

I do say to anyone defending girls changing in the "public" area of the women's room… it is hypocritical to say from one side of your mouth that a 7 year old boy should not go into a women's room and out of the other say it's ok for a middle school girl to change in the public area. I would find it odd for a grown woman or any girl who is old enough to be conscious of her body that way to not go into a stall. I have many times seen men and boys accidentally walk into the wrong restroom.

I think that if you feel the need to bring your son of any age into the women's restroom, you should talk to him about not looking into stalls, about being quick about washing up and heading out, about everything that would make the visit as considerate as possible toward the ladies. I remember how awkward everything felt as a tween girl. I would hope the other moms would respect that too.

We completely understand your desire to protect. You are a parent after all, like the rest of us. But I think what most are trying to say is that some parents' desire to protect is teetering very close to obsession and irrationality. Our sons and daughters need to be allowed independence (by allowing them to take risks) at this precious stage of their life or they will never learn it. They will never learn their own abilities and strengths (and weaknesses, which is just as valuable). They will fear everything because they were taught things like if they enter a bathroom alone, they will surely be assaulted. We need to teach them how to be safe, teach them how to protect themselves but then let them learn it. For example, even if we teach our children how to safely cross the street but then spend the next 10 years crossing the street with them because we don't want them to take "an avoidable risk", they will never actually learn how to cross the street alone. Our job as parents is to teach our children the skills they need to be functional adults.

As mentioned before, "Too safe for their own Good" is an incredible book just for this topic. The author tells of the time he was at the park with his kids and watched as a little girl bravely climbed the jungle gym and as she reached the top, she proudly shouted at her mom "look at me mommy!" Her mom, rather than being encouraging and proud of what her daughter learned to do, freaked and ran over, shouting for her daughter to be careful, to not fall and that mommy would come save her. The little girl, seeing her mothers panic, started to see not her accomplishment but new fears like falling, and getting hurt and panicked herself. After her mother "rescued" her (of course feeling that she was "helping" her daughter), the little girl refused to go on anything else. She hung back in fear. The author wondered how long it took for that girl to ever get back that confidence and pride she felt for that brief moment. How will she now ever learn her limits, the dangers, her own strength and ability if her mom didn't let her try things? It's the same idea with things like this. If you teach them fear, they will learn fear. If you teach them confidence, strength and safety and then let them try, they will learn that.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Nobody bringing their tween son into the ladies' room believes they are indulging paranoia. Or they wouldn't be doing it.

And you referring to people allowing their 7-10 year old sons to use the men's room alone as "turning a blind eye" sounds sort of like you consider yourself the better parent.

Not at all. I dont consider myself better than anyone. I wouldn't say that anyone in this thread is a bad parent. Unless someone is abusing their child, I would never judge another parent like that. Everyone has what they believe to be the best intentions for their children. I dont think anyone here has malicious intentions or views so who am I to judge them? Even if I dont agree.
I meant that the general "it never would happen at Disneyland" attitude is turning a blind eye. It may be the happiest place on Earth but its not without its share of unwanted guests from time to time. Like I said, what a parent decides is best for their children in that 7-10 year age range is not for me to judge.
And are we referring to a 10 year old as a tween in this scenario? I was always under the impression that a tween is the 11-12 year old crowd, which should not be entering a ladies room. In my eyes 10 is still a young child.