Are dh and I just old fashioned?

[The Mystery Machine]

My husband's idea of a fun vacation is sitting in a boat on a lake somewhere in Missouri

Mine too!!!! Except no fishing and no sitting on the lake, we are speeding around the lake.
Not my idea of great fun but I go along (for now).
In fact I will be in Branson in a couple of weeks. We are meeting up with 20 people for a 'boating' vacation.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

But wanting to be together and sharing common interests are two completely different things. I love spending time with my DW and my kids, but we don't all share the same interests. Nor, for that matter, do we share the same vacation time. DW has a lot more than I do, so I don't think she should have to stay home just because I can't go on every vacation.

But, I did say that couples do need some apart time. If for some reason I had more vacation time than my partner, then I would never take a long vacation without him. It would probably be split up into a couple days at a time and I could spend a couple days doing something. But this is my own choice. I did say that it depends on the couple.
I was just stating my own opinions. I won't marry a man who doesn't share the bulk of my interests. IE: No outsdoorsman for me since I don't care to sit around for a week at a time fishing (I don't even eat fish so I won't fish).

Therefore, most of my vacation time would be spent with my family & SO.

 

[goodeats]

cteddiesgirl - Are you married? I'm guessing no? I didn't expect to fall in love with and marry a sailor (especially since I get horrible seasickness and think boats are the biggest waste of money), but I did. You may very well fall in love with a fisherman.

Separate interests are fine as long as the other spouse supports the other in them. I may hate sailing but I'd never begrudge my DH the enjoyment of it. Same with me and Disney. I was thinking about not renewing my Disneyland AP since we're trying to save money, but DH encouraged me to renew.

 

[jimmiej]

My brother & his wife do seperate trips a lot. Nothing too long. He's into hunting; she's into antiques. Hey, it works for them.

As far as me & DW, we always do things together. I'd rather be with her than anyone else. We mostly have the same interests when it comes to vacations. She's even willing to go on baseball trips with me to see different teams & stadiums, as long as we do other things too.

We just figure our time together could end tommorrow. Take advantage of every moment! It's worked great for 25 years!

 

[DVC Sadie]

Well, I guess it just depends on the couple.
But to me, if you're going to marry someone, then that means that you want to be together and that you tend to enjoy the same things. Yes, there are times when a couple needs time apart, but a vacation is not one of them.
A business trip is one thing, but vacaction is togetherness time. My parents vacationed together. And I expect to do the same.
And if vacation means spending time with SO's family, then so be it. It's family.

A lot of people marry total opposites of themselves and those marriages have worked out well for so many couples like us. I am so different from my wonderful husband but the important things to us are the same. We both have a lot of love, respect and honesty for each other but are very different in other ways.

I love to travel anywhere, almost anyplace at anytime but other then that I am mostly a homebody. My enjoyment comes from cooking and gardening on almost a daily basis. If I am lucky enough to combine traveling with a garden show then that means I've hit the jackpot.

He loves fishing, boating, hunting and snow skiing. His idea of a great time is also puttering around with cars and playing golf.

Loving each other without loving the things that each other loves, is a freedom and contentment that is hard to put into words.

 

[Papa Deuce]

My wife does "girl's weekend" 2x a year. No big deal, though not a vacation. I'm cool with it. Now, let's see what she says next year when I am organizing a five day fishing trip with the guys.

 

[Kitty 34]

We've always gone together on the big family trips but I have taken little side trips with my Mom and sisters. This summer my DH is (finally) going with my brothers on a fishing trip.

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

My mom hates to travel without my dad and vise-versa. I have a feeling that when I'm married I'll be the type that doesn't mind vacationing without DH every now and then. It really does just depend on the couple.

 

[antmaril]

We vacation together and I've done many trips with my friends. For example, this year we went to WDW as a family (our son is a freshman in college) and then I went to Scottsdale with girlfriends (all married) in February. In July, my DH and are I going to Vail, Colorado for a week and then in September, I'm going to Vegas with girlfriends (again longtime married) for three days.

We've been married 32 years. I love to travel -- my husband not so much. He works from home and I commute downtown every day (for 35 years). He feels that I deserve to get away and I always like to have a trip to look forward to.

It works for us.

 

[tigercat]

My dh & I do vacation together and usually it is camping at a certain place every year. For our 25th anniversary he agreed to go on a cruise (our honeymoon was camping and I agreed to it as long as the 25th was my choice) He grumbled leading up to the cruise but always said that he would go but thought it would be better if we went camping. After a couple of days on the ship he was talking about another one. He is a workaholic (like right now he leaves for work at 7:15 a.m. and gets home about 11 p.m.) so I have gone on vacations alone and with my oldest dd. He likes knowing that he can work as long as he wants and knows that I am having fun.
tigercat

 

[princess pooh]

I figured that DH not being a beach person wasn't a good excuse to call off the wedding, so we take separate vacations from time to time. We do a big vacation together every year, and I'll go to Florida with my mom or friends. It works for us

 

[caitycaity]

there are times when i'd like to spend some time with my family and while dh is obviously invited, i don't expect him to take time off to hang out with my family (i wouldn't want to do it for his).

we vacation together at least once/year (usually we do one big vacation/year together - not inlcuding xmas and tgiving which are spent together with family). i have gone with friends on group trips without dh before. it's not a big deal to either of us. if it was, i suppose we wouldn't go, but i have to say i'd be pretty peeved if my husband complained about me spending time with my family (that is the majority of our vacations apart).

also, we have different amounts of vacation time available at different times of the year.

dh and i are opposites in many many ways and our marriage has worked great for the past 5 years. i never thought about our vacationing a few times/year apart as wierd.

 

[Aimeedyan]

We enjoy vacations together and apart. I find that we have a healthier and stronger relationship if we maintain friendships outside of our marriage; since our friends are scattered around the US, we often have to travel to spend much time with them. Thus, weekends away from each other! I also have a mom in Orlando that I like to visit more than he does (ROFL!) so it's easier for me to take a week and head out there to visit her and the Mouse. I have a more flexible schedule and in a few short years will have double the vacation time then he does.

My parents always took time to get away with their friends or family on top of our family vacations and getaways. That was one thing my dad always tells us - you are not siamese twins just because you're married and it's healthy to maintain outside interests and relationships. Thankfully, my ILs do this as well. FIL goes hunting with his brothers and MIL heads out with the girls.

 

[Aimeedyan]

But, I did say that couples do need some apart time. If for some reason I had more vacation time than my partner, then I would never take a long vacation without him. It would probably be split up into a couple days at a time and I could spend a couple days doing something. But this is my own choice. I did say that it depends on the couple.
I was just stating my own opinions. I won't marry a man who doesn't share the bulk of my interests. IE: No outsdoorsman for me since I don't care to sit around for a week at a time fishing (I don't even eat fish so I won't fish).

Therefore, most of my vacation time would be spent with my family & SO.

I would be interested to see what became of your strong opinions once you're actually married. I thought I knew it all, too, before I said "I Do." Boy was I wrong!!

 

[Nancy]

I won't marry a man who doesn't share the bulk of my interests. IE: No outsdoorsman for me since I don't care to sit around for a week at a time fishing (I don't even eat fish so I won't fish).

Therefore, most of my vacation time would be spent with my family & SO.

I used to say that too! I was going to marry a man who loved to dance, loved to dress nice, liked the same music as me and wanted to live in Virginia or North Carolina. Guess what I fell in love with? He hates to dance, barely tolerated it for our first dance together. He wears jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts and flannels. His idea of dress up is a polo over a pair of cords (if I'm lucky). He hates the music I listen to and he will never move away from here.

Oh the dreams I used to have until I met him and reality hit me over the head!

I really do hope you get the man of your dreams. I know I got mine, he just wasn't what I was dreaming at that time.

 

[Planogirl]

You never know what kind of person you might end up falling for plus people can change a bit over the years too. My DH enjoyed traveling much more when he was younger than he does now. His idea of a vacation is usually hanging out at home doing his own thing. And that's OK.

Me, I like to go and run. I want to see everything and keep on the move. That drives DH crazy after a while.

We do compromise often and vacation together but we also respect the other's differences and allow each other space to pursue our own interests. I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[Tamarap]

We vacation together and I also go alot of places with friends. My dh really is a homebody and would rather stay home most of the time. He enjoys the time when I get away with my girlfriends so he can have time alone with our two boys.

 

[stemikger]

I didn't read the other posts yet.

My wife and I are always talking about this because we have neighbors who do everything seperately. It seems they never spend time together. IMHO why bother getting married.

I wouldn't dream of vacationing without my wife. Too me, the best part about it is being with her and my daughter.

If I wanted to do all these seperate things, I would have just stayed single.

 

[Nancy]

Even when we go on trips together or as a family we end up going off on our own. He likes to lay around and do nothing, maybe read the paper, watch the TV. I can do that at home!

Even on our honeymoon I'd go down to the pool by myself and he's stay in the room watching TV, he'd show up about an hour or two later. Doesn't bother me, I knew exactly what he was like when I married him. We even went to an outlet mall and he sat in the car reading the paper while I shopped. He hates to shop.