Are dh and I just old fashioned?

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My dad and stepmom travel separately often.

I think it is weird.

With small kids at home it is even weirder.

Though hubby just booked a skymiles ticket for me so that I can run in Disneyland for the Inaugural half-marathon.

But long vacations away from family with small kids--ummm...no. First off if we had enough money to do that---well--we wouldn't be doing that.

 

[Arielle22]

Dh and I have been married 20 yrs. About once a year I go on a weekend with my sisters. Sometimes it is a concert or FL and now we are planning a trip to NYC.

Dh doesn't travel without me. His closest friends are my brothers and bils. Instead of travel they like to gather at a house and repair it. They got as much joy from tearing down a wall in my bedroom as my sisters and I did in FL.

Our dds are still young so we have neither the vacation time or money for longer trips. I think as long as the other spouse doesn't mind separate travel is fine.

 

[TDC Nala]

My mother comes to WDW with me sometimes. My dad doesn't really like WDW and she does. He'd rather stay home with the dog. She's also glad to be able to go to restaurants and eat stuff he wouldn't eat.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

We never used to vacation separately. Then I developed my love of Disney, which my DH does not share. I have taken several trips to WDW, normally bringing one of my kids (only one solo trip about 4 years ago). As a matter of fact I just returned last night with my 6yo. I don't think there will be any more WDW trips for awhile, though. My mother is elderly and my next trip will probably be to see her. No plans for awhile, though.

And we do always take a yearly family vacation of some sort.

One poem that I really like is this one, with my favorite part in blue:




After a While

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much, so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure,
you really are strong, you really do have worth,
and you learn and you learn.
With every goodbye, you learn.

.....by Veronica Shoffstall

 

[Nancy]

We usually vacation alone, well, I'm not alone I have the girls with me. My DH and I have very different ideas of what a vacation should be. He doesn't like to see the sights, he likes to sleep really late, sit around and watch the weather channel or sports and hates to have any kind of a schedule. I am just the opposite. You know the Disney Cruise commercial where everytime they show the Dad he is sleeping in different parts of the ship? That would be us, except he will never go on a cruise and he doesn't like to fly. I'll be married 21 years in June so it works for us. BTW, we also do couples only things, even if it's just for an overnight or weekend.


I have only gone away a few times where I have left the girls home, but now that they are older that might happen a lot more. We still do family vacations once in a while, but it is such a hassle deciding where to go. (He is not a Disney fan) My idea for this summer was Williamsburg and Virginia Beach. His comment was why the ....would he want to do that? I told him he could do whatever he wanted all day why we did the sights. The beach would be for relaxing for all of us. Who knows what we will end up doing

 

[Dan Murphy]

I do business trips, most conventions alone, and in a few days will be going back to Disney for the 15th solo trip since we went as a family back in '99. I did get Natalie to come down there in '04. Marie says she will go back some day, just not ready yet. She tells me to go enjoy myself with the DIS folks I see there. All our other trips are together. She has been to California a few times solo to see relatives.

 

[scraptoons]

I can't stand it when DH and I have to be apart for a business trip or something. It's no fun without him.

Don't get me wrong...I have plenty of stuff I do while he is gone (kids, chick flicks, scrapbooking, etc.).

It's just that DH and I love to constantly talk about our experiences and ideas on everything as we go along.

We enjoy our own daily routine apart while at work, etc. But even then we call each other several times a day in our breaks to unwind and encourage each other.

I look forward to him coming home in the evenings. It's the highlight of my day to be in his company. The three kids feel the same. DH feels welcomed for sure!

 

[allie&mattsmom]

I think it's okay to travel without your spouse. I go on quite a few "girl" trips and DH goes on quite a few "golf" trips with his buddies. We travel quite a bit together as well, sometimes just the two of us and sometimes with the kids. We are big travelers and are very blessed to have my mom and his mom that love to watch the kids (and dog! ) if it's just the two of us going. I tell ya, when I'm on a girl trip, it really makes me miss and appreciate my DH even more!

 

[va32h]

I don't think there is anything wrong with couples traveling separately, or that a couple's love for each other can be measured in how much time they spend together or apart.

Actually, I tend to think the opposite; that it's kind of weird to want to be around someone 24/7. I think that would drive me crazy, even if it was someone that I loved very much.

I love my children more than anyone else in the entire world, but I still find myself thinking "when is it gonna be bedtime already!"

I know plenty of very happy couples who go on trips without each other. I also know plenty of very happy couples who never go anywhere without each other.

I think the only problem is when one spouse is in the first group, and the other spouse is in the second group.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

i couldn't picture going on vacation without my DH and my children. it's just not our thing at all. That's what we love about vacation, being together.

 

[Nancy]

I don't think there is anything wrong with couples traveling separately, or that a couple's love for each other can be measured in how much time they spend together or apart.

Actually, I tend to think the opposite; that it's kind of weird to want to be around someone 24/7. I think that would drive me crazy, even if it was someone that I loved very much.

I love my children more than anyone else in the entire world, but I still find myself thinking "when is it gonna be bedtime already!"

I know plenty of very happy couples who go on trips without each other. I also know plenty of very happy couples who never go anywhere without each other.

I think the only problem is when one spouse is in the first group, and the other spouse is in the second group.

Your last line says it all. We work because we are both on the same page as far as things like that go. When you don't like doing the same things, it makes one person miserable to be doing something they don't want to be doing.

 

[Planogirl]

DH and I have always done things separately as much as together. It works real well for us. I'm not the type to be with anyone 24-7. I would find it way too confining and so would DH.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

If you spent all your time with your spouse, what would you talk about?! I don't mean young married couples, still in awe of marriage and all that crap, having little kids, etc.

But if I didn't have anything to share with him...if he didn't have anything interesting to tell me EVER...I can't imagine it.

But I remember a poll on here a while back about going out -not vacationing, just socializing! - and most people said they did everything together, all the time. I guess I'm the odd one.

 

[katerkat]

I just got back from a week away from my husband - Russ and I went to my college reunion. DH couldn't get off work, and plus, he wasn't thrilled to see MY friends and family for a week. Add in the $435 plane tickets and it was pretty much a no-brainer.

We do a lot of separate stuff since DH is military. Of course, I get to go to Disneyland and my parents, and he gets to go to Crete and Japan - but he brings me back cool stuff so it's OK. We try to do a family vacation once every 18 months, since that's about as often as DH isn't deployed.

And, honestly, if I took him on all the little Disney trips *I* do, there's no way he'd agree to a long trip this December as well! So it works in my favor.

 

[FreshTressa]

DH and I always take family vacations together, but sometimes things come up that we wind up doing alone.

A friend of mine has a timeshare in florida and sometimes we girls go away. And DH has gone to things just for fun that I could not get away for.

And sometimes I will join my parents on their vacation and bring the kids...DH stays home.

Not a big deal as long as we get our 'big' vacation together every year.

 

[Disney Doll]

We like to vacation together.

We have both taken business trips when necessary.

Once I went to Vermont with his sister to attend an event for my niece who is in college up there, but that was more because her DH couldn't go do to a work conflict and I didn't want her making the 6 hour drive to upstate VT by herself.

There is no way my DH would dream of going on a vacation to Italy without me, nor I him.

It may work for some, and more power to them, but I wouldn't enjoy always vacationing without my DH. He has no hobbies, such as hunting or fishing, that would take him away from home. If he did, then I could see him going away maybe a couple of times a year on a trip with friends to pursue those activities where I might not go with him, because those activities would hold no interest for me.

 

[CheshireVal]

DH and I will vacation together, but I will sometimes go away for a weekend by myself to visit my family if it's mostly going to be a "girls weekend" (like just my mom, aunt and cousins).

 

[mrsltg]

It depends. My dh was in need of R&R about a month ago. His stress level was through the roof. He had some time off scheduled so I sent him to Key West. He was so surprised and it did him so much good. Of course we missed each other terribly, but it was just what the doctor ordered.

I often go to visit my family with the girls by myself. Dh has to work on Sunday's so we can't do it any other way. This Summer I am going to Chicago on business. I love it there so I am staying an extra night/day. Next year I'm going to Paris with my mother. It's not that I don't love vacationing with DH, just that sometimes we like/need different things.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

We've been married 19 years and we do both. I will take our children to DL, WDW or to Phoenix to visit my sister. I have taken them alone on a family reunion cruise. (DH gets motion sickness) I am a SAHM so I am able to get away easier than my DH. He wants us to have fun and travel. He doesn't really enjoy travelling. I suspect he probably enjoys the peace and quiet! I know that I would LOVE to be alone at home for a few days.

I want my 3 children to have many "life experiences". This is important to me.

It has always bothered my MIL that I will take the children by myself. She has never left my FIL's side. She thinks I am deserting her son. Oh, how will he survive without me? Her views are very conservative. I respect her opinion but I continue to do what is right for my family.

Lori

 

[NMAmy]

DH and I prefer to vacation together but sometimes it just doesn't work out due to work schedules and limited vacation time. For example, last February, I took dd and a friend of hers to WDW. She's in high school so I wanted to take her out the week before President's Day since they had half days for conferences and a couple days off. DH had a big project at work that he couldn't get out of so he suggested I take the girls on my own. DD and I both missed having him with us but we had fun on our own, too.

My parents were married for over 40 years until my dad passed away. When I was a kid, my mom used to take us kids to California alone and we'd travel back across country with my aunt & her kids in a motorhome. (Looking back I think they were nuts!) We'd spend about a month on the way back to Michigan and take a different route each time. My dad had his own business and didn't really take vacations so it worked out well since my mom loves to travel.